Chase away the nightmares
by Angelic Scars the bloody angel
Summary: AU. Shuichi can't or won't talk and it scared by memorys from a dark past. Hiro is his best friend and is the only one who knows the truth. Shuichi gose to collage and has to share a dorm with Eiri.
1. First Day Chapter 1

Eiri stared glumly at through the window trying to ignore the cheery humming of his brother-in-law, he was humming to some song on the radio, Eiri was getting a head ache. And Tohma was grinning like an idiot, Eiri hated him sometimes, he gritted his teeth together and tried to ignore the migraine that was relentlessly hammering his head demanding attention. If Eiri hate something more that his brother in laws humming it was not having his car, and it was this reason he had to go through the torture of going through a car ride with the insanely happy-grinning-humming Tohma, why couldn't his sister have married someone NORMAL. Sure Tohma looked normal but he was really a wicked demon sent to earth just to annoy Eiri, or so he liked to think.

Eiri had never been happier to see the big grey building looming ahead to swallow him up. He almost jumped out of the car and ran but he manage to keep still.

"Here you go Eiri!" Tohma said in a sing song voice, Eiri gritted his teeth again and threw the door open, Tohma smiled at him. Damn demon broth in law. Eiri retrieved his case from the boot and stormed up to the building in a foul mood.

"Bye Eiri!" Tohma dragged his name out in his innocent sing song voice, Eiri ignored him and went to find his dorm, he need to lie down.

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKIIIIII!!!!!" a hyper active, happy, ball of girl promptly stuck to Eiris back smiling. Oh god. Was all Eiri manage to register as Ayaka clung to him. Ok take a deep breath, smile, try not to punch her. The girl let go and Eiri turn around to face her.

Ayaka was smiling and happy and gently rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"Yuki! I missed you in the summer!"

'Well i didnt miss you you crazy fan girl type humanoid.'

"Yeah i missed you too."

"REALY!!!!" 'Damn i said the wrong thing' She jumped up and gave him a glomp, Eiri rolled his eyes.

"Yuki we have to go out tonight ok, catch up, see you at 7, JA NE!!!" she was already halfway to the girls dorms bye the time shes finished, Eiri pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to stay calm. Ayaka was his fiancé, not by choice, their marriage was an arranged one and Eiris father would kill him if he broke it, but that didn't mean Eiri couldn't have some fun before their wedding, besides they wern't an official couple, but Eiri decided he might as well give the girl the date she wanted, it wasn't as if he had other plans.

Eiri found his dorm easy and opened the door, it smelled of polish and fresh air, his favourite sent of cigarette smoke and beer had been blitz by the cleaners who must have been there not long ago.

Eiri fell onto the couch and stared at the blank TV screen, he looked for the remote but couldn't seem to find it, the he saw, sitting smugly on top of the TV, laughing at him. Eiri glared at it, he was to lazy to stand up and get it so he mearly sat and glared hoping to scare the remote to him. Of course that didn't work too well but Eiri wasn't about to give up and let the remote win. So the battle went on and the remote continued to laugh at him.

(AN: Ok 1, the New York incident didn't happen, 2, Ayakas out of character but who cares it just adds to the fun, 3, Erir nickname is Yuki, everyone calls him Yuki because he says so, ne real reason, and Eiri is a writer, he studying english so he can release book in America and Europe. Ok on with this story!!)

Whispers and stares followed the new boys, girls giggled and talked behind their hand to their friends, some looked on curiously, some just stared for lack of anything better to do, the focus of their attention was the vivid pink hair one of the boys had.

His head was bowed and he was trailing behind a slightly taller dark haired boy. The boys name was Shuichi and his friend was Hiro. Both were starting collage this year, Hiro looked up excitedly at the building, he couldn't wait to start, he looked at his friend and his face fall slightly, Shuichis pink hair fall into his eyes shadowing his face but if he had looked up Hiro knew he would see though dead emotionless eyes and pale face, it hurt Hiro to see his beast friend like this, Shuichi used to be so happy. Hiro wrapped his arm around the smaller boys shoulder and smiled at him, Shuichi looked up slightly startled but seeing it was only Hiro he relaxed a bit.

"Looking forward to starting collage?" Shuichi gave him a small smile and nodded, Hiro ruffled the boys hair, he was proud of his friend, it took allot of guts to come to collage after what he'd been through.

"You'll be fine." Shuichi didn't looked convinced, he looked more like a deer caught in the headlights. But he didn't bolt, he took a few gulps and a determined look crossed his face, he slowly marched to the main doors and Hiro followed smiling. Sometimes the old Shuichi would shine through, just a little bit.

They reached the main desk and a girl smiled up at them, she didn't seem old enough to be a teacher. She must have been a student.

"Nakano Hiroshi and Shindou Shuichi?"

Hiro nodded, "Im Hiro and this is Shuichi." The girl nodded and smiled.

"My name is Kinomoto Hikari i'll be your guide for today," she giggled slightly and smiled again.

"Please follow me Nakano-san, Shindou-san." the two boys obediently followed her, she first showed them around the many different corridors leading to different class rooms, the library and computer lab was next, followed by a common room and the cafeteria. All in all it was a nice cosy collage and Hiro felt that it would be a good place to study, even Shuichi didn't seem as tense as he often was and even manage to give a small smile to the teachers they were introduced too.

Eiri need beer and a cigarette, the battle with the remote had gotten him into a foul mood, which wasn't helped by the fact that there was nothing in the dorm, no food, no drink, not even a mouldy pizza from last term, the cleaners had done their job well. Eiri got up and grabbed his coat, he hated shopping but he might as well go, he needed his beer.

"Ok now the dorm," Hikari said, she was still smiling and she even had a skip in her step, Hiro chuckled slightly, defiantly a morning person, unlike the zombie besides him aka Shuichi who was yawning.

"Tired already?" Shuichi glared at him and Hiro flinched, honestly, Shuichi was scary sometimes.

"Nakano-San! This is your room," she pointed at a door smiling brightly and threw him a key, "Shindou-san you're room is in the other building." she threw him another key, "i'll take you now....."

"Wait," Hiro interrupted the girl, "we're supposed to be sharing a room, we were guaranteed it." Hiro looked worried and Shuichi looked scared.  
"Really? That not the information i got, and there are no more rooms left, these are the only one's." she looked apologetic."

"You dont understand!" Hiro sounded angry, "Shuichi dosent trust people, he only trust me and his family, please he cant stay with a stranger there are certain...... reasons."

"Im sorry but theres nothing i can do, i promise Yuki-san wont hurt Shindou-san, Yuki-san is hardly ever there anyway, please theres nothing i can do."

"Cant you move this kid," Hiro pointed at the door.

"Not unless you want wold war 3 to brake out, trust me, no one will get any peace if thoughs two share, please just for now go to your assigned rooms, i will try to sort something out, please!"

Hiro sighed and looked at Shuichi, Shuichi seemed to be thinking, he twiled the key through his fingers thinking then nodded.

"You sure Shuichi?" another nod, Hiro siged.

"Fine, go show him to his dorm then."

"Thank you Nakano-San," the girl looked like she could have kissed him. She then turned her bright smile and Shuichi.

"Come one Shindou-Can you'r dorm isn't too far away." Shuichi gave one last glance at Hiro then showed him the thumbs up. Hiro smiled.

"I'll Be round later to check up on you," Shuichi just gave another weak smile and followed Hikari.

"So Shindou-San, what classes are you taking?" Shiuchi stared at her for a second then down at the floor, he waited for an annoyed voice, but none came. He looked up to see Hikaris features had softened, "Is it you cant talk, or you dont want to." Shuichi continued to stare at the floor, "or a bit of both." He nodded. She ruffled his hair and Shuichi found he didn't mind, he rearly trusted people, and never trust them on first impressions but Hikari oozed a calming aura and he couldn't help but trust her.

"No worries, just don';t take no crap from no one, kay." Shuichi nodded and gave he a small smile, satisfied she continued to walk, Shuichi hadn't even noticed they'd stopped.

"Here we are," she stopped outside a door that looked like many others, except this one had a big, shiny 5 on it.

"Now i have to go but if you like i can come in with you and introduce you." Shuichi shook his head and Hikari smiled.

"Well c ya around Shindou-San, ja ne, and take care."

Shuichi open the door and tentatively poked his head in, there was no one there, he sighed, relived. He walked in and found his suit case had already been sent there, someone else was also there, it was huge, smart and black. Shuichi stared at it, trying to imagine the owner, what he was like, Shuichi didnt feel like looking at the rooms, he'd wait until.... Yuki was it? Yes Yuki, hed wait till Yuki came back, he could tell him which room was him. Shuichi grabbed the remote from the top of the TV Eiri had lost the battle and switched to a music Channel, his favourite band Nittle Grasper were playing and shuichi smiled, he started to bob around to the music.

Eiri was pissed, no scratch that, he was super pissed, he was beyond a cigarette and drink cured pissed, he was PISSED! and why, Eiri had to walk to 6 different shop before he found one that was open, then he had to go to another 7 different shop to find one that sold his favourite beer. And on top of the he had a date with the glomping leech aka Ayaka, he was pissed. And what did he find when he opened his dorm door, but a pink haired kid on his sofa, if it hadn't been for the fact that this was a boys dorm he would have mistake the kid fo a girl, the kid was currently sleeping with the damn music channel on full blast.

Eiri dropped the shopping on the counter and marched over to the boy, he was tossing and turning in his sleep, face contorted in fear, he seemed to be having a nightmare but Eiri didnt care.

"BRAT!! WAKE UP!!!!" the pink haired kid shot up and stared at Eiri, he stared right into Eiris golden eye and Eiri found himself flinching slightly, the kid looked terrified but his eye seemed so dead at the same time, He tried to back away from Eiri but the sofa got in the way, he instantly tried to jump to his feet but manage to fall over the back of the sofa with a thump.

Eiri dash the the back of the sofa and saw the pink headed boy flat out on the floor.

"Easy kid i dont bite." he grumbled as he offered a hand to Shuichi. The boy took it reluctantly. As soon as he was on his feet he started to search for something, which turned out to be a note book, he wrote something and threw it to Eiri.

'Im Shuichi Shindou.'

"Hiay," Eiri raised and eyebrow at the kids strange behaviour.

"So i guess your my new roommate." Shuichi nodded.

'Damn i was hoping to have the place to myself again, and what wrong with this kid, why wont he talk?'

"Make yourself at home i have to go, your rooms on the right." and he left. Shuichi sighed and fell onto the sofa. Yuki seemed scary he decided, but harmless. Shuichi curled onto the sofa watching the TV, golden eyes kept interrupting his thought though, Shuichi was still cautious around people, but today was full of surprised, Hikari he had trusted instantly, and he was thinking that Yuki might not be too bad either, maybe it wouldn't be so horrible to share a dorm with him.

Shuichi got up and went to explore the dorm.

Eiri was late and Ayaka was pouting in a way that was suposed to look sute but just looked scary to Eiri.

"Yuki your 5 minutes late!"

'Someone call the cops.' Eiri rolled his eye and took a seat.

"Sorry, i was just dealing with a new roommate." Ayaka smiled and clapped her hands together.

"Oh Yuki with a roommate, this'll be fun, is he cute?" Ayaka smile mischifelessly.

Pink hair and dead violet eyes entered Eiri mind, and the scared look on them.

"Yeah kinda," he said absentmindedly.

"But not as cute as me right," she joke, Eiri rolled his eyes again and said nothing.

"Awww come on Yuki, cheer up." Eiri ignored her as the waitress walked over to take their order, soon Ayaka was talking att about her summer and Eiri let her, occasionally nodding or saying something to make her happy, other than that he let his mind wander. And that damn kid decided to enter his mind.

"Shuichi Shindou..." said so quietly he though no one had heard it, but Ayaka could probably hear a pin drop in another country so she heard.

"Who?"

"No one, look, its getting laate and i have no car, i'll see you later." he put a few bills on the table and left a confused Ayaka.

Shuichi was asleep when he got home or just wasnt there, one way or the other Eiri didnt realy care. He walked to his room and stripped of his clothes untill only his boxer remained, he fell onto the bed and promptly fell asleep.

It felt like only five minutes later he was awoke by a terrified scream, it was coming from the other room. Eiri jumped up and rushed to the room, he yanked the door open and found Shuichi tossing and turning, drenched in a cold sweat.

"Kid wake up, HEY KID!" no response. Eiri strode over and grabbed Shuichi by the shoulders and shook him.

"WAKE UP!!" another r scream ripped the air and Shuichi awoke, violet eyes wide with fright and he was shaking. Tears fell from his eyes and he seemed to be stearing off into space, his eyes finally focused on Eiri and he clung onto him, it wasnt a hug, it was a ple, Shuichi held onto Eiri as if life depended on it, and he cried. Eiri froze slightly not knowing what to do, but he relaxed when he felt Shuichis tears and wrapped his arms awkwardly around the boy.

"Shhhh now, its just a dream, just a bad dream." he gently rubbed Shuichi back to calm him and slowly Shuichis sobs eased and the tears dried up, Shuichi still held onto him and Eiri let him, he didn't know what scared him the most, the fact that he has hugging another guy or the fact that he didn't mind.

"Shuichi, you ok now?" no response, he looked down to find the bundle in his arms asleep, he sighed and went to stand up, but Shuichi gripped tighter and stirred, Eiri froze not wanting to wake him.

'Guess i have no choice,' and so Eiri sat on the edge of the bed with Shuichi in his arms, and soon he too fell asleep.

I wrote this in one night when i was tired! Riddled with mistakes too, oh well. I'll probably re-write this one day, but for now this'll do, i know the character are OOC but the just adds to the fun, any people who dont like how i potrayed Ayaka sorry, but i just though it be fun to have her like this anyway

Feed a hungry author and review, you'll get updates sooner if you do (....maybe)


	2. Dinner Date Chapter 2

First of all glomps reviewers I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 13 Reviews!!!!YOU RULE!!!Iits the most ive ever had for the first chapter actualy it the most ever oO anyway:

**sakura blossoms4:** Im working really hard to update regularly, but with school and karate updates may take a while, but i will finish this story dont worry, im not the type to give up, even if things take me a while  
**Syaoran is kawaii:** Of course Eiri and Hiro will look after him, and fight  
**RoxiBabe: **Yup my grammar dose suck, know any betas that are willing to take the job?  
**Kitty in the Box:** keep reading and you'll find out about the nightmare and of course Shuichi will talk...maybe  
**findingEMO:** Oh shiny stars pretty , im glad you like it and im that same alert thingy is easier  
**Yvonne: **Im glad you liked the way i potrayed Eiri and that you like the bit about Tohma  
**panatlantic:** im glad you liked it and you find it interesting  
**daftpunk:** please dont hurt me, i promise to continue.  
**Bram:** Im so glad you liked the ending, i though things might have been going a bit fast, and im glad you dont mind the mistakes, i tend to make a few #  
**delia:** Sorry for the mistakes, im writing on crappy wordpad which has no spell check so i have to use the one on my e-mail, so blame that for spelling errors  
**Sutzina Zion:** Im so glad people like the ending, i just had to add something sweet, i had to hold myself back from adding alot more, but then the story would have gone way to fast.  
**tati:** I solemnly swear to keep updating, it might not be often but i should be able to get up a chapter ever two weeks if school goes ok  
**lollyflop: **Glad you liked it  
**escptheshdw835: **Well im glad that there didn't look like there were many mistakes although when i was spell checking i noticed id wrote Shu's name wrong alot

Ok this chapter is for you reviewers, thanks so much! I hope ya like the next chapter.

Rays of sunlight filtered through the window, they fall on two forms, both sitting up, the blond one whos hair shone like spun gold was holding a bundle of blankets that on closer inspection turned out to be the pink haired brat Shuichi, Shuichi head was buried into Eiri's chest so only his pink hair was visible, Eiri's head was resting on top of Shuichis, a blanket was wrapped around them both, Eiri had manage to shift enough to get the blanket and keep them warm.

Shuichi stirred slightly, he was so warm and comfortable that he didn't want to move, and he felt so safe. He'd had the best nights sleep in ages, no nightmares plagued him and the warmth was all around him, he felt so safe, his arm tightened around something, a human something. Shuichi froze. He slowly looked up to see his blonde roommate fast asleep.

Shuichis violet eyes widened then he shoved Eiri away and scuttled back until his back hit the head board. Eiri fall off the bed and manage to bump his head. Not a very nice wake up call. He let out a string of curses and rubbed his head, he was also greeted to a nice back ache too from sleeping sitting up. Great.

He turned his attention to Shuichi who again was looking afraid, his eyes darted everywhere, as if looking for a way to escape. Eiri's mood softened slightly but he was still pissed, he hadn't even manage to have a beer last night.

"Last time i help you, next time you can deal with you damn nightmares alone." Eiri growled. Shuichi tried to back away more but the head board sopped him so he bought his knees up and wrapped his arms around his legs.

'What happened to you kid? What are you afraid of?' Eiri sighed.

"Breakfast?" Shuichis eyes widened slightly, he had expected Eiri to shout at him, hit him, hurt him, not offer him breakfast.

"Toast is all we got, it'll be ready soon so hurry up and get changed." Eiri left the room muttering under his breath still a bit tired, Eiri hated mornings.

Shuichi uncurled slightly, still a little tense, he expected Eiri to come back any second but he soon heard the sound of Eiris foot steps walking towards the kitchen. Shuichi sat there for a second, calming down, his heart was still racing to burst out of his chest. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, an image of Eiri asleep entered his mind and he smiled. Eiri was so cute when he was asleep.

Shuichis eyes shot open and he shook his head.

'No i cant think like that.' Shuichi jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom, he ran the water until it was freezing and then assaulted his face with the icy water. He jumped from foot to foot at the cold when he was finished he went back to his room and got changed.

Shuichi padded bare footed into the kitchen.

"Good Mor......," Eiri froze at the sight of Shuichi, his hair was tousled and his cheeks were red from the cold water he'd splashed on them, one strap of the tank top he had on was hanging off his shoulder, he looked adorable. Eiri gulped.

'Can't think like that, cant' think like that.' Eiri turn back to the toast he was making.

"Sit down its nearly ready." Shuichi tilted his head to the side looking an awful lot like a puppy, poor Eiri caught this out the corner of his eye and he felt his face flush.

'Gah what wrong with me!?' Shuichi sat and Eiri put a plate in front of him, with a little too much force, the platte clattered on the table but didn't smash, Shuichi jumped slightly and stared at Eiri. His head tilted to the side as if asking what was wrong. Eiri shook his head and sat down to eat his own breakfast.

'Shuichi is even cute when he eats.' Eiri thought as he stared at Shuichi a small smile on his face.

'WERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM!!??' Eiri shove the rest of the toast into his mouth left the table and deposited his plate in the sink. He then fell onto the couch and switch the TV on (Eiri still hadn't won the battle with the remote so its new home was the arm of the sofa).

Shuichi watched Eiri's every move a bit question mark above his head, he shrugged if off though and continued to eat.

Eiri heard the clatter of another plate being dropped in the sink and then the soft patter of Shuichis feet approaching.

'Knock Knock Knock, Knock Knock!' Shuichi jumped about a foot in the air executed a perfect pirouette, and landed facing the door. Eiri stiffened, only one person knocked like that. Before he had a change to say anything though Shuichi had already opened the door.

"YYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.........ki?" she blinked, Shuichi just stared at her eye wide, poor boy had almost been Ayaka glompped a fate worst than...... something horrible. She stared at him for a second before she saw Eiri on the couch, and ignoring Shuichi entirely as she run up to Eiri. That pissed Eiri right off. Shuichi looked hurt too. His eyes were currently finding the floor very interesting.

"Yuki! You left so early last night, i was worried. What's wrong Yuki?" Ayaka turned her full, fluttering eyelashes gaze on him. Quite disturbing to Eiri, the girl never took the hint.

"Nothing," he muttered, "Shuichi close the door its cold, and come sit down." the click of the door was the only reply he got, Eiri then moved up so he was sitting in the middle of the sofa and Shuichi sat on his left with Ayaka on his right.

"Shuichi, Ayaka, Ayaka Shuichi." he said pointing at each one, Shuichi nodded at Ayaka still watching her wearily, Ayaka seemed to glare at Shuichi for a second before a smile was back on her face, so fast Eiri thought hed imagined it.

"Hiay, im Ayaka Eiri fiancé," she put a heavy emphasis on the last word. He should have known.

'What the hell,' Eiri stared at her. Shuichi raised his hand and waved at her timidly.

"Whats the matter, cat got your tounge." honestly Ayaka had no tact. Shuichi just stared at her then at the floor again.

"Hey im...."

"Leave him alone Ayaka, if he doesn't want to talk he doesn't have to." 'Especialy not to you.' Ayaka huffed slightly and stormed to the door.

"Fine, see you Yuki." she smiled sweetly and let herself out.

"Thank god she left." Eiri muttered under his breath. Shuichi looked up at him questioningly.

"You think i asked her to marry me, no way. Our marriage was arrange by our families" he said darkly. Shuichi looked apologetic and Eiri smiled at him.

"No sweat i'll get out of it somehow."

They sat on the sofa in quiet comfort for a while, Eiri finally got his beer and Shuichi just stared at the TV curled in a ball. Eiri smiled again, Shuichi looked so cute. But another knock interrupted the peace. Shuichi just stared at the door horrified, he probably though Ayaka had come back so Eiri got the door. But it wasn't Ayaka at the door.

"Hey, Shuichi there?" Eiri look the man in front of him up and down, he was only a little shorter than Eiri and his long dark red hair had free reign. He had a kind smiling face and Eiri disliked him instantly. Who knows why. It was talent Eiri had.

"Shuichi, for you." he called before heading for his room, he needed to get started on the next book or his editor would have his guts for breakfast. Shuichi waved Hiro to come in.

"Hey Shu, you ok?" a nod.

"So what it like living with him," he pointed to Eiri's door. Shuichi smiled.

"Not that bad huh? That's good, at least he's not giving you a hard time or id have to sort him out." Hiro tried to sound threatening. Shuichi hunted around the sofa for a bit until he found his writing pad. He scribbled a note and gave the book to Hiro.

'His nice don't be mean Hiro.' Hiro laugh at this and ruffled Shuichi hair.

"Whatever ya say Shu."

Eiri rubbed the bridge of his nose, Hiro's voice was getting annoying and he longed to hear Shuichis just to brake it, he wondered what Shuichis voice was like. He bet it was a beautiful voice, just like Shu......

GAH, Eiri frantically began typing again. Something was definatly wrong with him today, maybe he was coming down with something.

(AN: He's coming down with Shu-itus )

The front door clicked again not long after and Eiri sighed, peace and quiet again.

The channel was changed and music blared out. Great, just great. Eiri rubbed the bridge of his nose again trying to get rid of any head ache that threatened to come. After about 30 seconds (Eiri can really put up with anything, honest) he left his room again to either shout at Shuichi or turn the TV down. Depended on his mood when he got there. But he stopped in his tracks. Shuichi was swaying to the music, and what Eiri could see of his face he look genuinely happy. The music playing was a new song from Nittle Grasper, Eiri glared at the TV when he saw Tohma, how the man manage to run NG record company and take part in the band he didn't know, nor really cared. So he continued to watch Shuichi pink head move, his hair swayed in a delicate rhythm of its own, quite different from his body and it enchanted Eiri, the pink glittered like extra sugar candy floss and move with the grace of a swan, Shuichi body was swaying in perfect time to the beat and he was smiling, his eye which were normal so dark looked alive. Eiri leaned against the wall, suddenly not minding the loud music, content to just watch Shuichi.

The song was over too soon and Shuichi body stopped, his hair fell back into place, the swan had tucked his head under his wing again. The violet eye darkened again and he watched the TV with the same indifferent gaze he gave most things.

"Hey Shuichi, can you turn the TV down a bit please," Shuichi whirled around quickly his hair following in a graceful arc, he looked surprised to see Eiri but he nodded and turned back to the TV, turning the sound almost to mute.

"Thanks, and you don't need to make it so quiet, just keep it to a normal level, ok." he smiled again at Shuichi before returning to his book, he really needed to start that book.

Eiri manage to get a whole chapter written and he was proud of his work, the chapter had turned out quite long considering he didn't know what to even write about when Hiro had been there. He stretched back and yawned. Then he noticed the smell of burning, it took him about .5 seconds to jump up and run to the kitchen.

He didn't know weather to laugh or cry at the sight that met him. The walls above the cooker were currently black from the smoke and the inside of the oven was burnt black, Shuichi stood in front of it looking small and lost, he was sniffing slightly and holding something black that was producing more smoke than Eiri did.

Eiri decided to do neither and instead he walked up to Shuichi.

"Hey what happened," he said as he lay a hand on Shuichis shoulder. Shuichis turned to face him tears falling down his cheeks making him look even more like a little lost child, Eiri heart bleed for him, he look so dejected. Shuichi dumped the burnt offering into the trash and retrieved his note book. After writing he gave the book to Eiri.

'I just wanted to make dinner to thank you but i burned it, i can't do anything right, im sorry.' the page was splashed with tears and the writing was just readable. Eiri dropped the note and took a step closer to Shuichi. He wrapped the boy in his arms, gently at first to give Shuichi a chance to escape if he needed to, but Shuichi just buried his head in his chest so Eiri tightened his grip around Shuichi. He could feel the tears seeping through his shirt but he didn't mind. He gently rubbed Shuichis back in and effort to comfort him.

"Thank you Shuichi, you did your best and im very grateful so don't cry ok." Shuichi looked up at this looking a bit surprised, Eiri smiled reassuringly and Shuichi relaxed a little and manage to smile back. Eiri let him shed the rest of his tears then he stepped back a bit braking the hug.

"Tell you want i'll take you out to dinner, how's that sound?" Shuichi's eye lightened a bit and he nodded.

"Were do you want to go?" Shuichi though about it for a minute before writing something else in his note book.

'McDonalds' Eiri sweat dropped, 'Figures.'

"Ok lets go." Shuichi went to his room and came back with a hurt-your-eyes orange coat that clash with his hair but was a look only he could pull off. Eiri smiled again.

"I don't have a car so we'll have to walk ok." Shuichi nodded again., " then lets go."

The walk along the street in silence, it was getting busy now, everyone was on their lunch brake or shopping and Shuichi being so small got pushed around and jostled by the crowd allot. Until Eiri wrapped his arm around Shuichis shoulders so he was walking right by his side, Eiri cut a path effortlessly through the crowd. He didn't notice Shuichi blush, he was too bust trying to hide his own from having the boy so close.

They eventually manage to reach a McDonalds that was so packed the line was almost reaching the door.

"Hope you have plenty of patience Shuichi." he said at he joined the end of the line.

By the time they reached the till Eiri was ready to kill someone, a vein ticket at his forehead and not even the sweet-fake-can-i-help-you smile of the cashier helped.

"What would you like sir."

"Food!" Eiri snapped, the girl looked taken aback and stuttered slightly, Eiri sighed and took pity on her.

"Cheese burger, fries, drink." he looked at Shuichi, Shuichi pointed at the menu, Eiri followed the direction of his finger and it landed on....... "a happy meal?" Shuichi nodded.

"Burger," shake, "Chicken nuggets," nod

"Chicken nugget happy meal." the woman typed in their order and took the money. When the food was ready she handed it to a still steaming Eiri and he gladly pushed his way through the line and too a table.

Eiri manage to find a small table in the corner away from all the hustle and settled down into the seat with a sigh. Shuichi sat down next and Eiri looked up, Shuichi look almost as bad as Eiri, he was sweating slightly and his eyes were wide.

"Like being in a zoo," Eiri sighed, "utter chaos." he handed Shuichi the bright box with his food in and Eiri dug inside the paper bag for his burger.

He looked again at Shuichi who was currently attacking the plastic bag that held the free toy. He ripped it into about 5 pieces before the toy was freed. And it was nothing more than a piece of cheap plastic shaped into hello kitty, it was dressed in pink, and that was it, it didn't do anything, it was just that, but Shuichi looked happy, he hugged it then placed it gently on the table before attacking his food.

Shuichi's POV

When i asked Yuki to take me to McDonalds i didn't think it would be so busy, i nearly got crushed by the crowd walking here. But Yuki helped me, he's so kind. I can feel my face flush at the memory of his arm over my shoulder. I shake it off, cant think like that. I open the box my food is in and find a plastic bag greeting me, and the smell of greasy fries. I start attacking the bag and revel a pink hello kitty. It so cute. I have to hug it.

'My first gift off Yuki.' i stop and put the toy on the table, and start on the food. I though collage would be hard but i didn't expect so many complication before lessons even started.

(Normal POV)

After finishing their meal (if you can call heart attack in a box a meal) they left, the streets were a little quieter but still quite busy, so Eiri drew Shuichi close again so he wouldn't get lost or anything. Well that was his excuse. They decided to explore a little, Eiri showed him some of the sights (oh they in Tokyo University, im so original ). Then of course they decided to wander around the shops just for the hell of it. Eiri arm rearly left Shuichis shoulder since it was still very busy (sure Eiri ) . They went into a music store were Shuichi drooled over a new Nittle Grasper album, Eiri had to drag him away before the security threw him out. After exploring all the shops and sites it was starting to get dark so they decided to go home, it was quieter now so Eiri reluctantly let Shuichi go, but Shuichi still walked close to him and Eiri smiled.

When they finally got back to the dorms Shuichi was practically walking in his sleep, Eiri opened the door and let Shuichi in first who promptly fell onto the couch. Eiri sat next to him feeling tired himself but not read to sleep yet, so he settled for watching more TV.

Shuichi end up falling asleep almost instantly, Eiri stayed awake for a bit longer but soon he too fell asleep. He woke up to Shuichi kicking him, he was about to yell at the boy when he realised it was another nightmare, the cold sweat already starting to form, Eiri looked worried. He gently brushed his hand over Shuichis forehead, brushing the hair out of his eyes, this seemed to calm the boy so he carried on stroking his forehead until Shuichi stilled and went off into the land of deep dreamless sleep.

Eiri scooped the boy up and carried him to his room. He tucked Shuichi in and gave his forehead one last caress before leaving for his own room.

I haven't written this much pointless drivel in forever, most of this chapter takes part in the dorm room between breakfast time and dinner time Oo well i hope this wasn't too dull, and i hope the fluff was enough, i cant help it, i just have to add fluff ok now a big question, you the reviews get to pick something that happens in the story, and that something is drum roll watches drum roll down a hill and crash into a wall Damn thats my third one. Anyway the big question, who should Hiro end up with!!??

You're choices are:

HiroXK  
HiroXSuguru  
HiroXAyaka (evil,hate,blech) but i will writ this if you pick this pairing.

the couple with the most vote wins! so make your vote count (and a review wouldnt hurt )


	3. Interlude Hiro's love

**Everyone welcom Kolie my new beta! She's gonna get rid of all my mistakes n.n im sure she'll do a good job.**

**This chapter isn't linked in anyway to the story, its a little interlude i wrote for fun. It for all you reviewers but especially Kolie my new beta n.n and fatlazikat who gave me the idea, the review made me laugh and this pointless story was born. Don't say i didn't warn you, extremely weird and stupid, but i hope funny. **

**Interlude: For the love of... **

Hiro shut the door with a slam, there wasn't any left in the house anywhere and he really needed it. Wanted it, it hurt to much without it. So he had to got to the sops, he threw on a t-shirt angrily grabbed his wallet and ran out of the house.

The assistant gave him a funny look as he packed his packs for him Hiro just smiled and handed over the money . Taking the bag he walked out of the shop happily looking forward to what was to come.

Once home Hiro torn into the bag and took out the item of his desire, he unwrapped the package delicately so as not to damage the contents. When that that was done he stared at is for a second before returning to what he was doing.

He licked every part of it, all over, devouring and enjoying the taste, small moans came from deep within his throat. His teeth gently bit into it, teasing but not braking the skin. He continued to lick and suck, his fingers tracing ever side. His eyes closed in bliss. And another moan, louder this time. He took the whole thing in his mouth licking and sucking faster and moaning louder until he could take it no more, with one delicious gulp he swallowed.

Footsteps could be heard and Hiros brother appeared in the kitchen, Hiro smiled at him.

"Hiay bro," his brother just stared at him and shook his head.

"You and cheese," he muttered before walking out, the open cheese packet sat beside Hiro, a small chunk cut off. The shopping bag was full of different cheeses, every one he could find. Hiro turned to the bag eyes alight.

"Whos next."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Short, stupid and pointless,the perfect mix.

So there you go, HiroXCheese pairing n.n oh dear this was so stupid. I promise to start writing chapter 3 now and stop wasting my time. Wow this was so short!

And the couple who won is... not telling XP you'll have to wait and see.

Chapter 3 preview: Hiros roommate is reveled. thats all your getting. chapter 3 is almost done, should be up soon. Ja Matta i love you all! glomps readers


	4. Running out of Tears chapter 3

First of all glomps Kolie Thank you! She's my beta soyou have her to thank for correctin my grammer

Second glomps reviewrs I love you all, you rule! i cant belive the amout of reviews im getting. Thank you so much, you make me want to write more and more

Thanks so much to: **Syaoran is kawaii, Himeino, Lady Tetsu-Maru, liz poling, ** **lemur130, Yukita, Krys, Kitty in the Box, sailorsaturncosmo, Shindou404, Akevari, Bram, kanilla, Kolie, Yvonne, Blizzaga, Silver moon, tati, MyuMyu-chan, CutieCherry, memi, DreamingToThis, sikora, fatlazikat, lollyflop, tangerine-asuka, Takki, Jaya, tahci, escptheshdw835, sakura blossoms4, RoxiBabe, ** **findingEMO, panatlantic, daftpunk, delia and Sutzina Zion. Whew i think thats everyone **

Now to answer a few questions.

To **StrawberryPockyPoo **I havent seen anystory like mine Oo i got this idea ages ago. I have seen a story were their in collage though, maybe thats the one your talking about. And besides alot of stories have very similar plots. The ever famous Shuichi gets hurt and Eiri finaly realizes he loves him is one that turns up alot, and i know were this fict is going, i have it planed out to the end. so dont worry, even if thgeir similar to start with mine will be diffrent.

**Yvonne: **Im planning on writting about 15 chapters, depends on their length realy, but im aiming for 15.

**Lady Tetsu-Maru **blush thank you very much. Im realy glad you like this fict.

**Himeino ** dont worry the good old conversation between Eiri and Hiro wil happen soon.

**DreamingToThis **takes out some supplys to the tent n.n hope your not too cold out there.

Ok as to the pairing who won, i have no idea n.n i havent counted yet so it'll all be a surprize when it happens.

Ok ive talke enough, on with the fict!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri managed to drag himself into the kitchen to get some coffee. He was so tired. His muse had suddenly decided to wake up and it had kept pestering him so he couldn't sleep, and he had had no choice but to write. So write he did, all night until he'd finished a second chapter. Now he was transformed from Eiri-the-not-morning-person to Eiri the living dead, and coffee was the only sure. He rapped his knuckles on the counter impatiently. Eiri hated expressions and he refused to believe in them, but they were stubborn too and seemed to want to prove him wrong. "A watched pot never boils." Eiri's eye was already twitching and the kettle seemed to be laughing at him, spouting little wisps of smoke.

A vein was now dangerously close to popping and Eiri was getting pissed when the kettle finally decided to bubble. It seemed to take another hour before it boiled, and Eiri finally managed to pour his coffee. After drinking it in one gulp, Eiri was almost human again.

Lessons would be starting soon and Eiri needed to make a start on his summer homework. Well, at least the English stuff. The wrath of the teacher was not something he wanted to invoke. His homework was still in the desk were he'd left it.

A week to do it should be ok. He was about to return to his room when he saw Shuichi sitting on the couch. He had a blanket draped over his shoulders and his eyes looked darker that ever, the shadows below them just added to the haunted look on his face. He looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Shuichi?" The boy turned the dark eyes on Eiri, and he couldn't help but flinch. He walked over and sat next to Shuichi.

"You ok?" A nod was all he got. They both just stared at the TV for a while. It was on mute so Eiri had no idea what was going on. It looked like one of those English soaps where everyone shouted at each other. Eiri thought it was probably best that is was on mute (Trust me I know n.n). Eiri then did what he did best ogle the girls. He was so bored that he actually he started giving them marks out of ten.

'Nice ass, good body, would look better with pink hair'

'Cute, but not as cute as Shuichi.'

'Urg boob job overload...' Eiri didn't even realize he was comparing the girls to Shuichi, amazing what the human mind could ignore.

A blond currently had a black haired girl by the hair and they were screaming at each other. Eiri sighed, this was boring. He was just about to get up and leave when he heard a little sniff. Looking to his left he saw Shuichi's head bowed low, his candy floss hair hung over his eyes, but it didn't hide the tears making tracks down his cheeks. Like rivers, they flowed towards his lips and chin, he was shaking slightly and sniffing, but no sobs were heard.

"Shuichi...?" he whispered. Eiri was at a loss, he didn't know what to do. For a start he didn't know why Shuichi was crying, so he had no idea how to comfort him or what to say. Eiri sat there uselessly watching Shuichi cry. Every tear seemed to burn into him, making his heart hurt for the boy.

"Shuichi," he whispered again, louder. The head was lifted a little to reveal violet eyes shining like jewels with the dew drops of tears. Shuichi's lip was quivering, and Eiri bit his own lip. Shuichi looked so pathetic. Eiri did the only thing he could think of, he wrapped his arms around Shuichi, drawing him close.

"Cry," he whispered. "If you need to cry, just cry. It's ok." Eiri felt a small hand lift slowly up and rest on his chest before it clenched tightly onto his shirt, as if he was afraid Eiri might disappear. Eiri gently rubbed Shuichi's back, his head resting on the pink hair that was buried in his chest. Eiri could feel the tears seeping through his shirt. Pretty soon Eiri wouldn't need a shower but he didn't mind. He liked holding the boy in his arms, so close, and so warm. One hand slowly travelled up Shuichi's back and into his hair. Eiri gently began to play with it while his other hand rubbed Shuichi's back.

The hair was soft as silk and smelled of strawberries. Eiri breathed deeply to catch more of the sweet smell, gently twisting the hair between his fingers and letting his hand gently dance over Shuichi's head. Eiri untangled his fingers from the pink hair and gently stroked Shuichi's head. All the way from the top of his head to the small of Shuichi's back Eiri's hand went, slowly soothing the boy.

Shuichi's tears seemed to have dried up but Eiri still held him and Shuichi stayed, moving his head slightly so his face wasn't in the wet patch on Eiri's shirt. Eiri's hand made one last journey down Shuichi's back before resting on the small of Shuichi's back.

Neither said a word for a while, and Eiri didn't dare break the spell. He wanted this moment to last forever. He felt more content with Shuichi in his arms than he did with any girl, and it still scared him. But he was too content to care.

Shuichi was the one to break the moment by slowly, reluctantly pulling away. Eiri let his grip loosen and Shuichi sat up, wiping away the last of his tears. He didn't look at Eiri but stared back at the TV.

"Better now?" Eiri asked kindly. Shuichi nodded a small thanks, but he still looked sad and troubled. The crying hadn't helped at all.

"I've got homework to do, so I'll be in my room if you need me. And you can put the sound up if you want." Eiri offered a smile to Shuichi but the boy didn't seem to notice. Eiri sighed and went to his room. He wasn't use to helping people, especially when he didn't know what was wrong. Eiri sat down at his desk and opened his laptop; he heard the door click and frowned slightly.

Shuichi had left. Eiri wondered if he should go after him. Shuichi was obviously upset, but Eiri decided Shuichi probably needed some alone time, which was probably the reason he had left. But it still didn't stop Eiri from worrying.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shuichi pulled the blanket around him tighter, padding barefoot through the corridor and ignoring all the stares he got. He needed to go see Hiro. Hiro was the only one who knew, who understood. He rubbed at his eyes again. Tears still threatened to fall even though he felt as if he had cried every last tear he could cry. Reaching his destination, he tapped timidly on the door, hoping his friend would be there. The door slowly opened only it wasn't Hiro. But the person did look very familiar.

He had short black hair and dark eyes. He was a negative of Yuki in Shuichi's eyes. Shuichi just stared and so did the boy. He raised an eye brow slightly, tilting his head to the side. His eyes travelled all over Shuichi, analysing him.

"You look just like Sakuma-sama." His hand came up and rested on Shuichi's cheek.

"Same build…" His hand slowly travelled down Shuichi's chest and whipped away the blanket. Shuichi let out a gasp and began to shake, but the boy didn't seem to notice. His hand was now travelling over Shuichi stomach and slowly reaching for his shirt.

"I wonder, how much like him you really are," the boy smiled devilishly, seeming not to notice the terrified look on Shuichi's face.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri flipped through the papers. He hated homework. He glared at one particularly horrible assignment and threw it over his shoulder. That one was going to be left till last. His eyes landed on another assignment, one that wasn't his. He sighed.

"Nice try, Tatsuha," he muttered grinning slightly. His brother always tried to pull this trick, since they had been little, and not once was Eiri fooled. He got up and decided to pay his brother a visit.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The boys hand was now under Shuichi's shirt slowly caressing his navel.

"You look very much like him." He slowly moved his head closer to Shuichi's ear.

"What say you and me have a little fun?" He was answered with a punch in the guts. He doubled over, coughing, and Shuichi ran. He didn't get far before he ran into something solid. Looking up he was meet by a pair of golden eyes.

"Shuichi?" Shuichi's eyes widened and he jumped to his feet, throwing his arms around Eiri, shaking slightly. Eiri's eyes widened in surprise, but he wrapped his arms around the boy any way. He then saw his brother stumbling out the door, hand clutched over his stomach.

"Tatsuha, what did you do to him?" Eiri asked angrily. Seeing his brother Tatsuha froze, he then preceded to pout then the waterfall tears came.

"It's not my fault he looks like Sakuma-sama. I didn't mean to scare him. I just love Sakuma-sama so much WWWWWAHHHHHHHH!" (cute anime tears)

"Well you terrified him you jerk! Sheeeash, and here's your homework." Tatsuha's tears stopped as he took the assignment sheet. His face fell as he realized Eiri hadn't done his work.

"Come in," Tatsuha muttered. Eiri tightened his grip on Shuichi and lifted him up to carry him into the room.

"You sure can punch hard kid. Sorry if I scared you." Shuichi was still clinging to Eiri but the shaking had stopped.

"His name's Shuichi and he doesn't talk," Eiri explained. Tatsuha nodded and looked around the room for something.

"Where is it?" he muttered as he proceeded to rip the room apart. Eiri sighed again. His brother was weird.

"THERE YOU ARE!" he shouted triumphantly, holding a DVD box above his head.

"Shuichi, Shuichi, Shuichi!" He bounded up to the couch where Eiri sat with Shuichi on his lap still holding onto him.

"Shuichi, Shuichi, look!" Shuichi slowly turned his head to look at Tatsuha, and his eyes widened at what he saw. In his hand Tatsuha held a super rare Nittle Grasper DVD. It had all kinds of footage on it that was impossible to find, and the DVD it self was even rarer.

"Shuichi, I'll let you borrow this tape if you accept my apology and be friends," Tatsuha smiled sweetly. From horny devil to sweet kid in .5, Eiri rolled his eyes.

Shuichi nodded slowly and took the DVD from Tatsuha, he stared at it for a second before looking back at Tatsuha. He then smiled a little and nodded again.

"YAY!" Tatsuha jumped in the air and gave a little victory dance. Shuichi looked at Eiri worriedly.

"Don't worry he's always like that," Eiri muttered, darkly glaring at his idiot brother. "He's 18. You'd think he'd have grown up by now."

"Hey you want anything to drink?"

"Beer," Eiri said.

"I wasn't talking to you, aniki! I was talking to Shuichi." Shuichi shook his head, so Tatsuha sat down.

"Where's my beer!" Eiri asked, getting a bit pissed. He hated it when his brother ignored him.

"Get it yourself." Tatsuha said poking his tongue out. Eiri growled and got up, dumping Shuichi on the floor. Shuichi gave a startled yelp and scurried back onto the sofa, and Eiri stormed into the kitchen. This was exactly why he and his brother couldn't share. They'd have killed each other within a week.

Tatsuha had now put the Nittle Grasper tape into the DVD player and some concert was blaring out of the TV. Shuichi seemed to have cheered up a bit and was happily watching the TV with Tatsuha. Feeling he was not needed, Eiri decided to leave.

"Well, I got homework to do. See ya later." He walked out drinking his beer and cursing his brother.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sitting in his room, Eiri found the dorm too quiet. Shuichi didn't make any noise, but somehow without the boy there things were quieter. Eiri shook his head. He was heading for a migraine if he carried on, and he really should start on that homework. Damn, he thought he'd escaped homework when he'd left school.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

By the time Hiro returned from wherever he'd been, Shuichi and Tatsuha had watched two concerts, every music video, and were now starting on the backstage footage.

"Hey, Shu, I see you met Tatsuha. Thought you'd get along with him. He's the only guy I've met with a Nittle Grasper obsession to rival yours." He smiled and sat down next to his friend. Tatsuha was pouting and trying to decide whether Hiro was being mean or nice. Hiro laughed at the expression on Tatsuha's face.

Shuichi tugged at Hiro's shirt sleeve and pointed towards his room, indicating that he wanted a word. Hiro nodded and looked at Tatsuha.

"Don't worry I'm gone. I know when I'm not wanted." he said, and proceeded to walk out the door, happily humming some old Nittle Grasper song.

"So, Shuichi, what's wrong?" Shuichi handed Hiro the pad where he'd already written his note.

'I had another nightmare. It was worse this time. I saw everything, again. Hiro, I'm scared. Why can't I just forget what happened!'

The page was splashed with tears and the ink was smudged. Hiro sighed. He wished he could take all of his friend's pain away and throw it into the deepest abyss. He wrapped his arms around his friend.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you." Shuichi snuggled up to Hiro and sighed. He could feel the tears coming again and hated it, he hated being so weak.

Hiro let Shuichi cry, hugging him and not saying anything. It was always best this way. Hiro never knew what to say, and knowing what had happened made things worse. He felt he should have been able to do something to stop what had happened, but, no matter how many times Shuichi said it wasn't Hiro's fault, Hiro still felt he could have done more.

Shuichi had stopped crying now, but Hiro still held him tight. He wished they could have shared a dorm. It was a lot easier to help Shuichi in the night that way. No matter what, Hiro couldn't stop the nightmares, but he could be there for Shuichi when he woke up.

"Feel a bit better now." Shuichi shook his head staring at the floor. Hiro sighed.

"If you ever want to talk, no matter what time, I'll be here. Okay?" Shuichi just nodded.

"I'm sorry I can't be there for you in the night." Shuichi just shook his head and gave Hiro a small smile, showing that he didn't mind and that Hiro shouldn't worry. Hiro didn't seem convinced, but there was nothing he could do.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After talking for a bit longer, Hiro walked with Shuichi back to his dorm. Shuichi held the Nittle Grasper DVD in his hands as if it were the most delicate treasure. Hiro smiled. The DVD would help Shuichi more than some would think. At the door Shuichi let himself in and waved goodbye to Hiro.

Eiri was nowhere to be found when he got in. Not in the living room, kitchen, or bathroom, and his coat was there so he couldn't have gone out. The only place he hadn't checked was Eiri's bedroom. Shuichi tapped at the door cautiously but there was no answer. He knocked again, and still no answer. Tentatively, he opened the door.

Shuichi smiled a little. Eiri had fallen asleep at his desk, head resting on his laptop. His mouth hung open slightly and he was making small snoring sounds. The screen of the laptop held hundreds of hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh where Eiri's head was leaning on them. Shuichi gently shook Eiri's shoulder but all he got was a mumble and another snore. Shuichi sighed. There was no way Shuichi could carry Eiri to his bed. He gently moved the laptop from under Eiri's head and got a pillow and blanket from the bed. He placed the pillow under Eiri's head and draped the blanket over Eiri's shoulders. He then quietly left the room, closing the door with a little click.

Getting his headphones from his room Shuichi connected them up to the TV so he could watch the DVD and not have the noise disturb Eiri.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri woke up surprisingly comfortable, considering the last thing he remembered was writing some more of his book. He sat up and winced. His back ached. He looked at the laptop and saw it had gone on screensaver, one movement of the mouse and Eiri was faced with and endless crowd of gibberish. He promptly deleted the gibberish and was thankful to find his story still intact.

He wondered briefly who'd given him the blanket and pillow before reasoning that it could have only been Shuichi. He smiled at this thought. Looking at the clock he noticed that it was 2 am. Eiri glared at the clock, he was rarely up at this time unless he had a deadline. He stumbled to his bed and fell down. He was too tired to change and was asleep as soon as his head hit the mattress.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Eiri woke, Shuichi was on the sofa again. He looked as if he hadn't slept all night. He had headphones on and was watching the Nittle Grasper DVD his brother had lent to him. Eiri stood in front of Shuichi to show him he was there, then he sat down next to him. Shuichi took his headphones off and looked at Eiri. Shuichi had bags under his eye you could carry your luggage in and he looked drained. Eiri frowned. He didn't look at all good. He gently touched Shuichi's forehead, and the boy jumped a bit but didn't pull away.

"You don't have a fever, so what's wrong? You look terrible." Shuichi looked away, showing he didn't want to talk about it, but Eiri was like a dog with a bone and he wasn't about to give up. He gently grabbed Shuichi's chin and turned his head to face him.

"Why haven't you been sleeping? It's not good for you." Shuichi looked away but his head was held firmly by Eiri so all he could do was turn his eyes away. He blinked, already feeling the tears coming.

'I don't want to cry. I've had enough of crying... but... I can't... I'm so weak.'

The tears slowly made their way down Shuichi's cheek and landed on Eiri's hand.

"Shuichi..." Great he'd made the kid cry. "Please don't cry." But this seemed to make Shuichi cry harder. So Eiri pulled the boy close and let him cry onto his chest again.

Shuichi gripped Eiri tightly, so tight Eiri flinched as he felt the boy's nails dig into him. Shuichi's body shook with sobs and Eiri felt his heart shattering with each sob. He held the boy tighter, at a loss for words. No words seemed right to comfort the boy.

"What happened to you, Shuichi, what happened?" Eiri wondered. He felt a burning hate for whoever had done this to Shuichi, and he knew he'd kill them if he ever found out. He held Shuichi even tighter, pulling him onto his lap. He gently stoked his pink hair, still not knowing what to say.

After a while, Shuichi grew quiet. The tears had dried up but Eiri's shirt was soaked, but he didn't care. Looking down he noticed that Shuichi had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful, just like the last time he'd fallen asleep in Eiri's arms. He smiled at the memory. He could still feel the bump he'd received and remembered the fear in Shuichi's eyes. The smile faded and a serious expression came. He vowed that, whatever had happened, he'd take care of Shuichi and help him in any way he could.

Eiri didn't understand why, but there was something about Shuichi, something that made him like the boy instantly. Eiri felt comfortable with Shuichi and happy when he held the boy in his arms. He wished he could hold him forever. He gently brushed the hair from Shuichi's eyes and sighed.

These feelings growing inside him, he didn't understand them but he was determined to help Shuichi anyway. Eiri blushed slightly as a realization came to him. It was the nightmares that kept Shuichi awake, and it was in Eiri's arms that Shuichi seemed to be able to sleep peacefully. He gulped slightly. Great, just great. The sofa was no place to sleep and Eiri never shared his bed with anyone without certain activities being involved. He sighed. But for Shuichi, he guessed he could make an exception.


	5. Caught Chapter 4

Eiri shifted uncomfortably as the sun beat brightly on his face, telling him that it was morning. He went to grab the blanket and pull it over his eyes, only to find that it wasn't there. He also realized that he wasn't lying down either, but in and half upright, half lying down position, and there was something lying on top of him. Eiri grudgingly opened his eyes and was met with a mop of pink hair. He smiled slightly, remembering what happened last night, and gently started to stroke Shuichi's head. Shuichi had a peaceful expression on his face, one that Eiri had never seen before. He smiled even more and held Shuichi tighter. He was determined to help the boy in any way he could, and, if all it took was a hug, then that's what he would give. Shuichi stirred in his arms and opened his eyes. They were still heavy with sleep, and Shuichi looked so cute that Eiri almost laughed.

"Go back to sleep, it's still early." Shuichi looked up at Eiri, a bit surprised, but he didn't push him away this time. His eyes were still half closed. He blinked once and gave a ghost of a smile before resting his head back on Eiri chest and closing his eyes.

Eiri smiled, feeling the warmth of Shuichi seep through his shirt. It felt nice, to hold someone so close. He could already hear Shuichi rhythmic breathing. He'd gone back to sleep already? Eiri smiled slightly and turned his head to look out the window. The sun had just risen and the day had a lazy air about it. The birds sang happily and a few students were walking back to their dorms after a late party or getting an early start in the library (tables ran out very quickly and nobody wanted to sit on the floor). Shuichi moved slightly in his sleep and gripped tighter to Eiri's shirt. Eiri gently stroked his hair and Shuichi let out a small sigh before relaxing.

There were 4 days left until classes started. Eiri scowled slightly. Four more days until he'd have to deal his English teacher again. Great. Just thinking about the eccentiric teacher gave him a head ache, and he still had the essay to do for that class. He sighed. He really should make a start on it, but he looked down at Shuichi.

Well, maybe he'd start it later.

""

Eiri must have fallen asleep because the next time he opened his eye the room was brighter and there was an absence of warmth. He rubbed at his eyes and sat up. A glance at the clock told him that it was 11 am. He sat up groaning slightly at the ache in his back. He definitely couldn't sleep another night on the sofa, one was bad enough. He scanned the room for Shuichi but couldn't spot his pink head anywhere. Frowning slightly, Eiri looked into the kitchen next and found Shuichi sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal. Another bowl stood empty next to the cereal box, a spoon laid beside that and so did a carton of milk.

Smiling Eiri sat at the opposite end of the table and made his own bowl of cereal.

"Thanks," he said before digging in. He hadn't realized how hungry he really was until now. Shuichi just gave a little nod before returning to his breakfast.

A little while later, Eiri sat in his room, glaring at the screen of his laptop as if it would do his homework for him. Unfortunately, it didn't work. Eiri sighed. He could write a novel on any topic, he could write songs, poems, you name it, but when it came to the crazy topics the English teacher gave them to write about, Eiri was stumped. He began typing a few sentences, bashing the keys harder than necessary, but it helped his bad mood.

""

"Ayaka-Chan!" A girl with long red hair bounced up and down as she waved to her friend, her green eyes sparkling in the early morning light. She looked about a year younger than Ayaka and had a cheerful smile on her face.

Ayaka smiled and gave a little wave.

"Yume-Chan!" The girl called Sakura ran over to her friend and enveloped her in a glomp. Ayaka laughed. Yume was way too hyper sometimes.

"Hey, Yume, how are you."

"I'm fine Ayaka. I'm so excited to start here! I'm glad you're here, too. Now I'm not alone." She gave the older girl another hug before sitting by Ayaka on the grass. They both sat under a big tree that offered them shade from the early sun. Ayaka was leaning against the tree's trunk while Yume sat in front of her, her legs crossed.

"So, when did you get here, Yume?"

"Yesterday. I explored the town a bit with my mum then came to find my dorm room. I would have come to say hi, but I didn't know what dorm you were in."

"That's ok, Yume-Chan. I'm glad that you're here, though. What classes did you take?"

"ART!" Yume said bouncing to her feet. "I'm going to become the greatest manga-ka ever!" Ayaka smiled.

"I'm sure you'll do it." Yume smiled.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I saw Yuki-San yesterday. In McDonalds, too, last place I ever expected to see him. He was with a pink haired kid that I've never seen before." Yume looked thoughtful for a second. "Who was he?"

"Shuichi," Ayaka growled, her hands clenching into fists, so tight that her knuckles turned white. Her eyes narrowed and a look of loathing crossed her features.

"Ayaka-Chan?" Yume asked, looking a bit scared.

"I'll get him, that baka. He has no right to be anywhere near my Yuki!" Ayaka's eyes flared and Yume stumbled back slightly. An angry Ayaka was scary in Yume's eyes.

"Ayaka-Chan, calm down. They weren't doing anything wrong, just having food. They're probably just friends. Yuki-San has forgotten all about Kitazaw..."

"SHUT UP! DONT EVER MENTION HIM TO ME!" Ayaka spat out, as if the word were poisonous. Yume's eyes widened. "I nearly lost my Yuki to him. I hate him! He tricked my Yuki. I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE YUKI!"

"Ayaka-Chan, please calm down." Ayaka didn't seem to be listening. She crushed the paper cup in which her water had been in and threw it to the floor.

"Just you wait, Shuichi. I'll get you for this. Yuki is MINE!" she said as she stormed off.

Yume sat under the tree, staring after Ayaka and looking confused and afraid. She felt she should warn Shuichi, but she didn't even know him, or Yuki, that well. She sighed and hoped Ayaka wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Ayaka-Chan, wait for me!"

""

It was getting late and Eiri was only halfway through his essay. He glared at the screen before saving the work he'd done and closing the computer down. There was no point in doing any more. What he'd done was already riddled with errors and his temper still hadn't abated. He decided to go find Shuichi. For some reason, he always felt a sense of calm around Shuichi and he could happily sit with the boy for hours and not say anything. Even if the boy was giving off death rays and cold feelings, Eiri was still happy to be around him.

Shuichi was sitting on the sofa. It seemed to be his favourite haunt. He rarely ever went out, and, if he did, it was only to visit Hiro. Eiri sat down beside him without saying a word and Shuichi didn't even flinch, he seemed used to Eiri showing up out of nowhere.

Looking at the TV Eiri noticed that some weird game show was on. Not his cup of tea, but, then again, he hardly ever watched television anyway, so he let Shuichi watch whatever he wanted. Besides it was more fun to watch Shuichi out of the corner of his eye than the TV.

The boy still looked tired. His face was a little pale and he still had bags under his eyes. Eiri wondered how long Shuichi had been having the nightmares and sleepless nights. Eiri smiled as Shuichi yawned, looking as if he was trying to turn himself inside out.

"Tired?" Shuichi shook his head, a look of stubbornness crossing his face. It looked almost like a toddler that didn't want to go to bed. Eiri's smile widened. He gently wrapped his arm around Shuichi's shoulders and pulled him closer to his body.

"If you need to go to sleep, go to sleep. I'll be here if you have another nightmare." Shuichi made a move to push Eiri away, but it was a half-hearted attempt and he soon relaxed and leaned against Eiri.

It didn't take long for Shuichi to fall asleep. Eiri smiled and gently brushed Shuichi's hair with his fingers. Shuichi's face was buried in his chest again and Eiri could feel his breath tickling his abdomen. As gently as possible, so as not to wake the boy, Eiri picked him up in his arms and stood. He held the boy tightly to his chest as he walked to Shuichi's room.

Once he got into Shuichi room, he gently laid him on the bed and tucked the covers around him. Eiri sat on the side of the bed for a bit, just watching Shuichi sleep. He gently brushed the bangs from Shuichi eyes. His pink hair was so soft, like silk. He watched Shuichi, who had curled into a ball and now seemed trapped in the covers, his pink hair the only thing visible. He was tossing a bit in his sleep but it didn't seem as if he was having another nightmare.

_(Dream)_

_It hurt so much. The pain was all around now, existing in every fiber of his being. He was being suffocated by it, drowning in it. Even his eyes hurt, burning from the tears that he refused to let fall. He wouldn't, couldn't...but, it hurt. (/DreamEnd)_

Eiri stood up slowly but, before he even took a step, he felt a hand grab him around the wrist. Shuichi's eyes were wide and his breathing was slightly heavy. He swallowed as if a lump the size of an apple were trapped in his throat. He looked up at Eiri, his eyes shining. Eiri smiled gently at him.

"Go back to sleep." Shuichi shook his head and pulled at Eiri's wrist. Eiri stumbled slightly and fell onto the bed by Shuichi. He looked at Shuichi in confusion. Shuichi looked scared and, judging by the grip he had on his wrist, Eiri guessed that he was scared and didn't want to be alone. Eiri smiled.

"Ok. I'll stay with you if you like." He took off his shoes before lying on top of the blankets next to Shuichi. The boys grip loosened from his wrist, only for his arms to wrap tightly around Eiri's waist. But Eiri didn't mind. He gently patted Shuichi's head.

"Go to sleep now. You look exhausted." Shuichi just snuggled closer to Eiri, and he suddenly felt like a human teddy bear. He laughed at that and wrapped his arms around Shuichi.

_So warm, so safe. There was nothing to fear now, nothing other than being alone. _

Ayaka stormed up to the appartment leaving a firey path in her wake. Her hair swayed dangerously with the angry movements of her body. Anyone in her way jumpped to the side lest they be scorched. No one had ever seen her so pissed.

So searched for her keys in her pocket as she walked teeth grinding together. Once she laid her hand on them she smiled triumphantly. Stooping outside a door she grined.

'You'll be sorry yuki,' she jangled the keys in her hands and unlocked the door shutting it quietly behind her. Looking around she notice there was no one in either the kitchen or the living room. She frowned, there were no lessons and it wasn't any type of meal time, they sould be her.

Her feet carried her to the bedrooms, both doors were shut, she tried Yukis door first. The bed was made neatly and there was no sign of life. So she tried the other door.

A scream ripped Eiri out of his dream. He sat bolt upright and looked at Shuichi but he was still asleep clinging tightly to Eiris shit. Confused and with sleep still heavy in his eyes he looked around the room for the source of the scream. Standing in the doorway like some bringer of doom stood Ayaka. She was breathing heavily, fist clenched untill her knuckles were whiter, eyes wide and furious.

"What are you doing in here?" Eiri asked angrily, he was sure he hadn't been stupid enough to give Ayaka a key. Ayaka gapped at him, mouth opening and closeing like a fish drowning in air.

"I...I... you...HIM!...WHAT?" Eiri just glared at her.

"Go." he said simply as he laid back down. Ayakas eye widened to an impossible size. By now Shuichi was half awake looking questioningly at Eiri.

"Go back to sleep." he said gently.

"YOU'LL REGRET THIS YUKI!" Ayaka screamed as she stormed out the door slaming it close. Shuichis eyes wiened and he looked scared and sorry.

"Good ridance," Eiri said after Ayaka had gone. He smiled at Shuichi, "down't worry about her. She can't do anything."

Shuichi didn't look convinced.

Finished! Mwahahahah this took forever. Sorry it took so long, this was the hardest chapter to write. n.n; but its finally done, chapter 5 sould be more interesting.

Again thanks so much to Kolie for her help and giveing me the idea for Ayaka to walk in on them, poor Shuichi. And reviews i love you all, thanks so much for all the great reviews and your encouragement. It means so much to me and im glad people are enjoying this fict.

Please pelase review! The more you review the more i write n.n


	6. Plans Chapter 5

YAY! Another chapter done! This was much easier to write than the last one , im proud of this chapter. Thanks to all my reviewers, i love you guys so much, you rule, the more reviews i get the more i want to write. Anye first to answer a few questions.

je suis... : dont worry, there might yet be R - 13 well there will be but in later chapters sorry to keep you waiting for the good stuff, but it'll come

i think that was the only question actualy Well Shuichi past will be reveled soon, hehehe, but first i need to start HiroX, oh who will Hiro end up with? I have no idea! well i do but telling you would spoil it n.n

Oh and something i forgot to mention ealier, Eiri didnt get nearly raped and killed by Yuki, but something did happen, it just wasn't that bad and thats why hes soooo nice

Again thanks to all the reviews, im working on a little gift for all of you, i hope it turns out ok 

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Shuichi awoke later, not sure if he had imagined the banshee that had come or if it had all just been a very strange dream. Due to the ringing in his ears, he presumed that it was the former. He didn't bother sitting up, though, for two reasons. One being that he was too comfortable…the other was the fact that Eiri was holding him so tight that he couldn't have moved if he wanted to. But Shuichi didn't mind. Eiri was safety, warmth, all the things he missed. He lay in bed pondering as he watched Eiri's sleeping face.

'He looks so peaceful, like an angel.' Shuichi smiled. He had been granted an angel, at least that's how he saw Eiri, an angel to protect him, an angel that could frighten away a nightmare with a simple hug. Shuichi was surprised with himself. He never expected to trust anyone again, not so quickly and so easily. But some how, after awaking from the first nightmare free sleep he'd had in ages and seeing the blonde there, he'd known that Eiri would never hurt him. Shuichi snuggled closer to Eiri, a shadow of a true smile dancing over his lips. He could fell Eiri's heart beating against his cheek. It felt oddly comforting.

But he was worried Ayaka and worried that he wasn't more worried than he should be. She could cause a lot of trouble, and she was blowing things way out of proportion. He wanted to laugh at the idea but…it wasn't such a bad idea. He winced slightly at the sudden thought that this could never last. As soon as one of them left the university, as soon as one of them graduated, Shuichi would be alone again and the thought terrified him.

It wasn't that Hiro didn't help. Hiro cared with all his heart and tried to make things better, but he just couldn't. He didn't understand, or maybe it was that he understood _too_ well. Hiro knew about everything that happened, and he still cared for Shuichi the same, never blaming the boy even though Shuichi had felt like a monster. He had thought that his life deserved to end, but Hiro had helped him. But, Shuichi had been so fragile then, and Hiro had danced around him as if he were walking on egg shells, treating him like a doll that could brake at the slightest touch. When all Shuichi had wanted was a warm hug and whispered comfort, Hiro had been to afraid to touch Shuichi in the fear of hurting him and Shuichi wasn't able to communicate his feelings.

Even now, Hiro treated him as if he were the fairest doll made of the most fragile china, which was the difference between Hiro and Eiri. Eiri didn't know Shuichi's past so he wasn't afraid like Hiro. He seemed to understand that just holding Shuichi would help. Shuichi was grateful for that. It wasn't that Hiro was a bad friend, quite the opposite actually, he was _too_ good of a friend. Shuichi sighed, basking in the warm comfort of the embrace he had longed for. In Eiri's arms, nothing mattered. There was no past, no bad things, no nightmares. Eiri gave protection unconditionally to a boy he hardly knew and it amazed Shuichi.

He felt Eiri shift slightly. Looking up, he saw the golden lashes flutter, like butterflies. Eiri yawned before opening his eyes. Even then, they were still half-closed as if he was thinking of going back to sleep. He looked down at Shuichi, eyes squinting to focus on the boy. Letting out another yawn, he released his grip on Shuichi and stretched his whole body, looking like a cat.

"Hungry?" Eiri asked, looking at Shuichi. The pink head shook. Eiri raised an eyebrow and looked over at the clock.

"HOLY SHIT! It's 3 PM and I haven't finished that damn essay yet." Eiri said all this in one breath while running around the room looking for his laptop. After looking through the wardrobe and the desk, he realized that he wasn't in his room.

"Shuichi, I'm going to go to my room and try to get that essay done. If you want anything just ask, okay?" He smiled as he left.

With Eiri gone, the bed seemed very cold. Shuichi got up and went to sit in his usual spot on the sofa. He didn't turn the TV on, he just listened to the faint tapping on keys and the occasional curse Eiri threw at the essay, the teacher, his laptop, anything that he felt deserved the curse. Shuichi was happy to just listen to Eiri; the faint sounds were welcome and reassuring. Feeling safe that someone else was there, Shuichi turned the TV on but kept it as quiet as possible, just so he could hear the tapping of the keys.

""

There was nothing to do and Tatsuha was driving him mad. The black-haired whirlwind was currently dancing around the room and singing along badly to a Nittle Grasper song. His dancing was better than his singing but it still gave Hiro a headache. He massaged his temples for a few seconds before standing up abruptly and slamming the front door shut on his way out. Tatsuha turned to give the door a quizzical look before he returned to his dancing and singing. He imagined he was on the stage with Ryuichi, singing and dancing. He was soon too lost in his own fantasy to worry about the abrupt departure of his room mate.

""

There was a knock on the front door and Eiri cursed loudly. Shuichi ignored the curse; for the last five minutes the curses had been coming more often so they were now just a part of the background. Shuichi opened the door, only to find an aggravated Hiro. Hiro just gave Shuichi a pleading look and Shu stepped aside to let his friend in. Hiro fell onto the sofa gratefully and Shuichi sat beside him.

"Sorry to bug ya, Shu, but that Tatsuha is getting on my nerves." Shuichi just gave Hiro the small smile that he always used to show that it was okay. Studying his friend, Hiro noticed something different about him. Shuichi looked...well, he looked brighter. The bags under his eyes were shrinking and weren't as dark as normal, he looked like someone who'd had a few good nights of sleep. Hiro raised an eyebrow; there was no way the nightmares could have stopped so easily. Maybe Shuichi was just having one of his good days when no nightmares bothered him. Hiro flinched, though. The nightmares always came back, and with a vengeance as if they were making up for lost time.

"You're looking better. Getting a good nights sleep for a change?" Hiro asked seriously. He was surprised by Shuichi's reaction. The boy promptly blushed and turned away so his back was to his friend. Ok, that was confusing, maybe he should have just stuck with Tatsuha.

"Something you're not telling me?" Shuichi seemed to stiffen and Hiro was sure by looking at the boy's ears that Shuichi was roughly the colour that would make a tomato blush. Shuichi grabbed the pad and pen he always had with him and scribbled a quick message. Giving it to Hiro, he turned away again. Hiro was right, Shuichi was very red.

'Yuki helped me. He stays with me in the night. I don't have any nightmares when he's there'

Hiro felt something tighten and boil inside him. Anger was the first, how dare that bastard give Shuichi what he-his best friend-never could. Guilt was the second, Yuki had managed to stop the nightmares that Hiro never could. And he was jealous of Yuki, yes jealous. And it was totally stupid. Shuichi seemed happier and he was getting some much needed sleep. But…there was always a but, wasn't there. Did Yuki have any motives? Could he be trusted? He didn't know Shuichi's past, didn't understand. Sighing, Hiro hunted through his pockets for his wallet. Having found it, he handed it to Shuichi.

"Shu, can you do me a favour and get me something to eat from the cafeteria?" Shuichi nodded and took the wallet. It wasn't until the door clicked shut that Hiro stood up and walked purposely towards the bedroom door Eiri hid behind.

""

Shuichi walked along the deserted corridors, thinking. Hiro had looked angry. Why? He wasn't sure, but Shuichi wasn't stupid. He wouldn't have let Yuki get near him if he thought that the blonde would hurt him. Did Hiro really think that he couldn't take care of himself. Shuichi frowned; it probably wasn't a good idea to leave an already frazzled Hiro alone in the same place as Yuki. Biting his lip, Shuichi was sure that an argument was already going on and he fought the urge to go back. If Hiro got his chance to scream and shout maybe he'd see that Yuki wasn't all that bad. Shuichi stopped, but what if Yuki got mad or backed off because of Hiro. Breaking into a run he headed for the cafeteria. He just hoped he'd still have a dorm room by the time he got back.

""

Hiro opened the door without knocking.

"What is it Shuichi?" Looking up, Eiri was met with an angry looking dark-haired kid. Shuichi's friend Hiro, a.k.a. the poor sap who had to share a dorm with Tatsuha. Eiri glared at him.

"What do you want?" Hiro returned the glare with equal intensity. But then it seemed to fail, a tired and worried look crossed the boys young face before a determined look replaced it.

"Don't you dare hurt him. If you ever do anything to make him hurt or cry, I'll kill you with my own bare hands!" Eiri raised an eyebrow at the threat. Hiro sounded serious. Even though Eiri didn't fear Hiro, he still would rather they not be at each others throats, for Shuichi's sake.

Hiro seemed to relax and he walked over to sit on the edge of the bed facing Eiri.

"Just...take care of him. You have no idea what he's been through." The tired look was back again, and something else. Failure.

"I've tried my hardest to help him, to stop the nightmares, but nothing I did ever worked. And then you…you come along and you don't even know him and you are able to give him what he's needed. Stopping the nightmares, giving him a good nights sleep. But why do you do it? Do you want something from him, do you expect something!" Angry tears were falling from Hiro's eyes now. The look he gave Eiri was enough to chill a snowman. And so helpless.

"People always want or expect something from him and he always ends up getting hurt, WHY ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS! WHY! WHY ARE YOU GIVEING HIM PEACE? SO YOU CAN TAKE IT AWAY AND WATCH HIM FALL! WHY!" Hiro grabbed onto Eiri's shirt, lifting his feet from the ground, quite an achievement since Eiri was taller than him.

Eiri's eyes widened, gently he prized Hiro's hands off him and the boy promptly collapsed to the floor, sobbing. Getting a tissue from the box by his laptop, he knelt down by the younger one and offered the tissue to him.

"I won't hurt him, I promise you. And I don't expect anything of him. I just want to help him. And if I ever make him cry, I promise to let you hit me until I bleed. I won't move, I won't even hit back." Hiro looked up sensing the sincerity in Eiri's words. The older one looked at him seriously, neither smiling nor frowning. Hiro wiped the tears away angrily.

"Will you still say that when you find out what happened? What it is that's in his past to cause such terrible nightmares? Can you really say that you'll stand my him no matter what?"

"Yes." It was a simple, straight to the point answer, and still filled with the sincerity of his earlier words. Hiro nodded.

"Take care of him." It was the closest to words of acceptance that Eiri would get from Hiro.

Eiri stood up and looked down at Hiro. He'd calmed down, the last of the tears being eradicated by the tissue.

"Want a coffee?" Eiri offered. Hiro just nodded and stood up.

"Thanks." They both walked out of the room, Eiri to the kitchen, Hiro to the sofa.

""

Shuichi ran back, a muffin clutched in one hand, Hiro's wallet in the other. He didn't see the other boy, not until he went flying into him and landed on top of him. Shuichi winced slightly and scurried to stand up.

"Watch were you're going, idiot. You could hurt someone." Shuichi stared at the ground, trying to get his breath back. Casting a look at the person he'd run over, he noticed that the boy had dark hair and dark, angry looking eyes. He glared at Shuichi, waiting for the boy to say something. Not getting a response just made him even madder.

"Hey, kid, don't ignore me!" Shuichi looked up at him, eyes wide. He could feel his heart beating faster, the fear gripping tightly at it, and the anger crashing over him in waves. Finding his legs again, Shuichi made a run for it, the dark haired boy's angry calls following him.

The run in had shaken Shuichi and he slowed down to a walk when he was near his dorm. He realized that the accident was partly his fault. He should have said sorry, but he couldn't talk, wouldn't talk, ever. That made things awkward. Maybe he'd send the boy a note if they ever met again. He really didn't want people to be mad at him.

Opening the door, a strange site greeted him. Hiro and Yuki were sitting on the sofa, drinking coffee and talking normally. No shouting, no killing each other. Shuichi sighed, he had just been overreacting.

"Yo, Shu!" Hiro said. Eiri just gave him a smile. Shuichi gave a relaxed smile back, glad that the two were getting along. He handed Hiro the muffin and wallet and sat in on the space in between the two on the sofa.

""

It was getting late. The sky was darkening outside and Hiro had returned to the insanity of Tatsuha and their dorm room. Eiri had asked how Hiro managed to put up with his brother. The simple answer was, "I can't".

Shuichi was restless. Why? He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something. Pausing slightly to give Yuki a note, he left the dorm for a walk.

The grounds of the university were beautiful in the dusk; the dying light gave everything a calm glow. A few stragglers walked around, talking quietly or sitting alone. It looked like the end of the world…peaceful. Shuichi walked, staying in the shadows of the trees, the last of the sakura petals falling like snow around him. He shivered slightly, regretting not bringing a jacket, but he was far to lazy to go back and get one. Shuichi stopped for a moment, sure he could hear soft footsteps following him, but no sound reached his ears after he'd stopped. Shaking his head, he carried on, and the soft footsteps followed again. Shuichi was sure he wasn't imagining things now. Spinning around, he had enough time to see a blur with long hair fly at him before his back slammed into a tree and small hands clung tightly around his neck, like baby cobras, curling tighter and tighter. Ayaka's tear stained face swam into his vision. Her eyes were red and puffy, and fire burned in them and hatred, an absolute hatred, for Shuichi.

"You little whore!" she spat eyes glistening with tears. "How dare you lay a finger on my Yuki! How dare you even look at him! Yuki is mine, understand that. You don't deserve to even share a dorm with him, let alone a bed. HOW DARE YOU!" The hands tightened and Shuichi's eyes watered, his lungs burned like a bush fire, and his neck felt as if it were about to snap in half. His hands reached to the hands around his neck, nails clawing at his own skin and that of the angry girl's. But she didn't loosen her grip. In fact, her grip seemed to tighten. Stars were bursting in Shuichi's eyes and he could feel darkness pressing down on him. He coughed as he tried to draw in air. He needed air. He could feel his knees weakening. He shut his eyes in submission. Why bother? He only bought pain, caused pain, felt pain...

"Hey, what's going on over there!" Ayaka jumped and released Shuichi's neck, running for it. His legs refused to hold him and Shuichi went crashing to the ground. He took in deep breaths that burned his throat and lungs. Hurried footsteps came his way, then a gentle laid hand on his shoulder.

"Are you ok?" The voice was kind and full of concern. Shuichi took a look at his saviour and he saw a boy, about a year younger than him, with vivid green hair and bright eyes that now swam with concern. Shuichi could feel tears threatening to spill, both from pain and fright. He tried to stand up but his legs gave way again.

"Hey, take it easy." The boy sat down by Shuichi and lifted his arm until it was draped over his neck; he wrapped the other arm firmly around Shuichi's middle and lifted them both to their feet. Shuichi stiffened. He wanted to push the boy away and run, but he didn't have the energy, and, anyway, his legs wouldn't allow it.

"Where to?" the boy asked. Willing his legs to obey, Shuichi took small step after small step, guiding the boy to his dorm.

They finally made it back and Shuichi struggled across the threshold, finally able to walk on his own two feet even if he still wobbled a bit. The green haired boy followed closely behind, though, ready to catch him if he fell.

"Shuichi?" Eiri stood up, concern washing over his features. The boy stumbled onto the sofa and curled into a ball, hugging his legs to his chest. Eiri ran up to Shuichi and pulled him to his arms, but Shuichi swatted his hands away, shaking his head.

"Shuichi...?"

"Ummm, Yuki-san..." Eiri suddenly noticed the presence of the green haired kid.

"Suguru, what happened?"

"I think someone attacked him and tried to strangle him. It looked like Ayaka."

Eiri's eyes flared with anger. "Shuichi, is that true?" The trembling boy nodded. Eiri grabbed Shuichi and hugged him close, ignoring the fists beating on his chest and the fight soon stopped. "Shuichi, she doesn't own me, and she has no power over me or you. Please calm down." Shuichi gave no reply, just stayed in Eiri's embrace.

"I'll make her pay for this," he muttered darkly.

"Yuki...?"

"Thanks, Suguru, you can go now." The green haired boy nodded and left.

""

Ayaka paced in her room, muttering to herself now and then, clenching and unclenching her fists. She winced slightly at the shock of pain the small scratches on her hands caused. She stared at them for a second before returning to her pacing…back and forth, back and forth, hair billowing around her like a dark cloak, making her look much scarier. She stopped in front of the phone and a determined look came to her face. She picked up the receiver and quickly tapped in a number.

"Taki?... I need your help."

Its amazing how OOC i can make a character without even meaning too. Ayaka is such a bitch... i love it, mmwwwwwwwhahahahahah what is her plan? what part will Taki play. Will i ever get to the good stuff? oO

Feed the review monster so it dosent eat me please n.n

brings out Shuichi in cheerleader get up

Shuichi: Give me an R! E! V! I! E! W! REVIEW!

Ok im done now.


	7. Attack Chapter 6

WOOHOO ANOTHER CHAPTER! Dont you just love me n.n.

And for the person who asked i live in the UK and boy dose it suck (i cant remeber who asked and i cant find the review that asked that, meh maybe im just lazy) anywho sorry for the delay, this has been ready for a week but wouldnt let me upload it. Sorry. On with the show!

So whay are you still reading this? Go read the chapter, go!

Shuichi had been shaken by Ayaka's sudden attack. It made him afraid to go out alone for the next few days, but, with Eiri's gentle words and Hiro's kindness, he got over it and soon was back to normal. Well, as normal as he could be.

None of them had seen Ayaka since her attack, which was a good thing for her since Eiri was still fuming and ready to explode. Eiri was starting to get really frustrated, too. He hadn't gotten laid for nearly a week now, but somehow it just hadn't felt right to go out and bring a some girl back, not with Shuichi there. Eiri closed his eyes tightly, trying to make his thoughts shut the hell up so he could go back to sleep. He growled in anger and pounded the pillow by his head. Shuichi made a surprised noise in his sleep before curling up closer to Eiri. The blond one sighed again and stilled. There was no point in waking them both. Instead, he turned around slowly so he was facing Shuichi. The boy was wrapped in his arms, a light smile on his face, and one arm rested over Eiri while the other was folded up against his chest. His hair was all tousled and most of it fell into his closed eyes. His breathing came gently and rhythmically. Just listening to the boys steady breathing calmed Eiri down.

Something made Eiri look closer at Shuichi. Moving so close that their noses almost touched, Eiri's eyes travelled over as much of Shuichi as he could see. He stopped when he came to the boys arms. Thin red lines travelled all over the skin, so faint Eiri was only just able to see them, scars. Eiri's eyes widened, Shuichi had cut himself? Why? Was he still doing it? Sitting up he gently took one of Shuichi's arms and examined it, all the scars were faint, some were disappearing and some looked as if they would leave a permanent mark, but none were new. A look at the other arm told him the same thing. Relief flooded through Eiri as he lay back down and pulled Shuichi closer. He rested his chin on top of the pink hair, and resisted the urge to wrap himself all around Shuichi, to protect him. He could feel the boy wriggle slightly at being held so tight and Eiri released his hold. But Shuichi didn't move away, he just made himself comfortable and slept on.

Eiri had to admit it was nice to wake up to a warm body. Whenever he had a girl over it was just sex then she left, it wasn't love, just want. They both wanted it and that was it. None of them ever stayed the night and Eiri didn't want them too. But, just waking up to a warm body so close to his… It was nice, comforting. Even if the arrangement was a bit odd, Eiri didn't mind.

Looking at the clock, the red numbers glared back 2:38 AM evilly. He could have sworn that they were laughing at him, too. Bastards. Glaring at the clock again ,he turned his attention back to Shuichi. Shuichi was nicer to watch anyway. Eiri sighed at the emotions he was feeling. Whenever he watched Shuichi, whenever he held him, he always felt...warm. He shook his head firmly. He couldn't be falling in love...could he?... No, impossible, definitely not, no way.

Eiri closed his eyes firmly and willed sleep to come.

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Ayaka sat at the table, coffee cup cupped in her hands and a frown on her face. He was late, he was always late and would always saunter in as if nothing was wrong. It annoyed the hell out of her, but he was the only one who could help her. How pathetic. She sighed again. All she wanted was Yuki, her Yuki. Did that pink-haired idiot really think that he could steal her Yuki? She'd show him. An evil smirk crossed her face and her eyes darkened.

"You know, the evil smirk really doesn't suite you."

"Taki!" Ayaka shouted as the boy sneaked up on her, "Don't scare me like that!" The boy just grinned cockily, his dark eyes shining.

"But it's your fault' Ayaka, you shouldn't have been so spaced out." Ayaka just poked her tongue out at him.

"So what is it you want?" Ayaka's smile was replaced by a serious expression.

"I need your help to get rid of a little thorn in my side." she muttered. Taki raised an eye brow.

"And what part do I have to play?"

"Scare him, beat him, kill him, I don't care. Just make sure to get him away from my Yuki!"

"Him?"

"This pink-haired whore who's Yuki's new roommate and lover. They can't deny it. I saw them in bed together. They weren't doing anything, thank God, but...ewwwww." She shuddered. "Just the thought of it makes me sick!"

"So you want me to become a murderer for you?" Ayaka flashed him a winning smile.

"Well, maybe not kill him." Taki sighed and froze.

"Wait a minute, did you say pink hair? He didn't happen to have these really weird purple eyes, did he?" Ayaka nodded.

"That punk, he ran me over in the hall yesterday," He's cute, too' Taki added to himself.

"So you'll do it?" Ayaka looked hopeful, and Taki looked at her as if he was thinking about it. He smiled, 'This could be fun.'

"Ok, you have my help." Ayaka squealed and jumped across the table to hug him. Taki look terrified but patted Ayaka gently on the back anyway.

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Shuichi sat at the kitchen table, swinging his legs and eating his cereal, while Eiri watched the TV. It was a normal Saturday. Eiri finally managed to finish his essay. Well, he'd added a few sentences at the end that weren't related to the essay to make up the word count 10,000 words was killer but at least he'd finished and he doubted the crazy American teacher would notice anyway.

Eiri wasn't really watching the TV, anyway. His eyes seemed to travel to Shuichi of their own accord, watching the boy's every graceful move.

Damn it, he really needed to get laid or go out or something. Eiri firmly placed his attention to the TV as Shuichi finished breakfast and came to sit by him. Shuichi sat so close that they were hip to hip. Eiri could feel his face flush, and if it wasn't red enough already, it got redder when Shuichi's head rested on his shoulder.

"Tired?" Eiri asked trying to keep his voice even. Shuichi shook his head and nothing more was said. They stayed like that for a while, until a knock on the door sent Shuichi about 5 feet in the air. Eiri patted the boys head and assured him it was okay and that it wouldn't be Ayaka at the door with an axe or something. Although, when Eiri opened the door he'd rather it had been Ayaka with and axe.

Tohma smiled sweetly coughevilysweetcough at him holding a key triumphantly in front of him.

"You car is ready!" On second thought...

"Thanks." Eiri said snatching the keys and walking away from the door and leaving it open. Tohma would only have let himself in otherwise.

He sat down next to Shuichi and stared at the TV, hoping the man would leave soon. Shuichi moved instinctively closer to Eiri, but he froze when he saw Tohma. Tohma, the Tohma, from Nittle Grasper, NITTLE GRASPER! Shuichi's already big eyes were now rivalling a saucer in size. The man just smiled kindly at him.

"Hello, you must be Eiri's roommate. I'm Tohma," he said as he extended his hand to Shuichi. He smiled, noticing the closeness of Shuichi and Eiri. An all knowing scary smile that would have sent shivers down Eiri's back if he'd seen it.

"This is Shuichi, he doesn't talk," Eiri said simply still staring at the TV. Commercials, yuk.

"Hello, Shuichi-San," he said as the boy tentatively took the man's hand and shook it.

"Oh, here, Eiri," Tohma said as he handed a small package to the other blonde. The said blond snatched it from his brother-in-law and promptly hid it.

"We all singed it just like you asked," Eiri glared at him.

"How long are you planning on staying?" Tohma smiled.

"Only until you help me get the groceries from the car." Eiri rolled his eyes.

"Get them yourself." Tohma shrugged.

"Fine, but I'll be here longer that way." Eiri just ignored him. As Tohma went to the door he heard a soft patting of feet and found Shuichi following him. He smiled.

"There's no need to help me Shuichi-san. Eiri's just being a meanie." He stuck his tongue out at the blond on the sofa, but Eiri didn't notice. Shuichi shook his head and continued to follow Tohma.

"Thank you, Shuichi-San," Shuichi gave him a smile.

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There weren't many grocery bags in the car. In fact, with the two of them it would only take one trip. Shuichi carried three bags while Tohma carried four.

"You and Eiri seem close; he normally would have booted any roommate out by now." Tohma smiled as the boy blushed.

"He must like you," Tohma said as he tried not to laugh as the boy blushed harder. Tohma smile genuinely. He hoped Eiri could be happy with Shuichi. He'd known for a long time that Eiri preferred men, but, since the Kitazawa incident, Eiri slept with as many women as possible. It was almost as if he was trying to make himself like women, but Tohma knew better. And, of course, the poor boy was engaged to that hag Ayaka. That was enough to make anyone prefer men. He just hoped that Eiri wouldn't screw things up. Everyone deserved to be happy, and Eiri would never be happy with Ayaka.

Once back at the dorm, they found that Eiri still hadn't moved. So Shuichi and Tohma put the groceries away in a comfortable silence. As soon as the job was done Tohma smiled.

"You'll be glad to know you're getting rid of me now, Eiri. I'm just going to go visit Tatsuha. Ryuichi wanted me to give him something. Goodbye, Shuichi-San." He shook the boy's hand and slowly brought his head closer until his lips were right by Shuichi's ear.

"Take care of Eiri for me," he whispered, and he could almost feel the heat radiate off the boys face.

"Bye, bye now!" He waved cheerfully and left.

"Thank God," Eiri said as he sank deep into the couch.

"Here," he said as he tossed the package Tohma had given him to Shuichi. The boy caught it and looked at Eiri questioningly.

"Open it." Shuichi slowly opened the package, careful not to tear the paper. What he saw inside nearly made his heart stop.

It was a CD, a new Nittle Grasper CD signed by the three band members. Shuichi felt the urge to cry. No one had ever given him such a thoughtful present, except for Hiro. He stood there for a moment just staring at it.

"You don't like it?" Eiri asked, disappointment leaking through. Shuichi shook his head firmly and threw his arms around Eiri hugging him tightly.

'No, I love it, thank you!' Eiri smiled as if he knew exactly what Shuichi wanted to say.

"You're welcome," he said as he hugged the boy back.

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Tatsuha was currently spinning around the room, an to his chest. Whatever it was Tohma had bought must have been good because he'd been spinning for about half an hour. Hiro sighed and closed his eyes against the migraine he could feel coming. He felt sure that he was about to make some pharmacists very happy for the next few years because he would need plenty of pain killers to deal with Tatsuha.

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Taki sat in his room, tapping his pen on the desk. What to do about Shuichi? The boy certainly was cute in a feminine way. He could have some fun with him. But with Yuki involved you had to be careful. Yuki had a reputation as a very dangerous person to cross, so he had to be careful. He leaned back in his chair and sighed. He'd just have to be very careful.

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Hiro was taking his 20th walk that day. Tatsuha was impossible to live with. He wasn't looking were he was going, so he didn't see a green-haired blur running at him until the said blur and him were both on the floor, with the blur, who was now a green-haired boy was on top of him.

Bright brown eyes met serious dark ones. Neither said a word for what seemed like an age until they realized the position that they were in. The green-haired boy scurried to his feet.

"Gomen, gomen. I should have been looking were I was going. Gomen!" The boy said all this in one breath and Hiro tried not to laugh.

"Iie, it's ok. I wasn't looking where I was going, either," Hiro smiled kindly at the boy. He looked young, too young to be at the university. He looked a bit like Shuichi, too, similar build, a vivid hair color. He reminded Hiro of the old Shuichi, a kind, smiling face and an aura that radiated innocence and sweetness.

"I'm Fujisaki Suguru," he smiled as he offered Hiro his hand. Hiro took it gratefully and was pulled to his feet.

"Nakano Hiroshi, but call me Hiro," the boy smiled.

"So, where's the fire?" Hiro asked. Suguru jumped slightly.

"That's right! I'm late! Meet me in the cafeteria in an hour and I'll get you a coffee as an apology, okay?" he shouted as he ran away. Hiro smiled again. He was a lot like the old Shuichi, so much so it almost hurt.

Well, he had nothing better to do so decided as he headed for the cafeteria.

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A coffee was put in front of him and he turned to look at the boy.

"Thanks Fujisaki," he said as he took a sip. Suguru just smiled.

"It's the least I could do."

"I had to go see the music teacher. She was a bit reluctant to take me so I had an interview. I'm not supposed to be here for another year, but the music teacher in my old school said I'd do better here since I'm too advanced for her class." He said a blush slowly growing across his face. Hiro smiled.

"So, do you sing or play?"

"I play the keyboard. My cousin taught me. I hope that I can surpass him one day. That's why I came here." Hiro smiled.

"Well, if you're coming to the university a year early, I'm sure you will." Suguru blushed again.

"A..a.arigatou." Suguru's face now resembled a tomato, especially with the green hair.

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Eiri need to get out, he had too.

"Shuichi, I'm going out for a while. Why don't you go over to Hiro's so you're not on your own." Shuichi nodded and Eiri passed him his coat.

"Want me to walk you there," Shuichi shook his head and they went their separate ways.

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Eiri sat at the bar, watching everyone out the corner of his eye. He found he was comparing everyone to Shuichi, their hair was to plain, unlike Shuichi's vivid pink, their eyes didn't have the same sparkle as Shuichi's…damn. He tried to drown the train of thought with another drink.

"All alone?" He turned his head slightly to find a girl wearing tight, figure-hugging jeans and a top that showed her cleavage. Her hair was a sugary pink and she had a sweet smile on her face.

Shuichi's hair is nicer… Eiri gulped another drink down and the girl giggled.

"You're really knocking them back." 'No shit,Sherlock' Eiri thought. The girl frowned.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Yup," Eiri said as he swallowed another mouthful of drink.

"He speaks!" the girl said, fake surprise heavy in her voice. She giggled again and smiled at him. Eiri sighed, it was impossible to ignore girls like this, the cute, naive types who couldn't take a hit. Just great.

"Want a drink?" Eiri asked.

"I thought you'd never ask. I'm parched! I'll have vodka please!" Eiri called the bartender over and ordered the drink.

"Thank you," she smiled. Eiri just shrugged. They sat there for a while in silence. Normally by now, Eiri's tongue would be down the girls throat, or they'd be in his car on the way to his dorm. But tonight, he just didn't have the heart. He was comparing everyone to Shuichi, and no one could compete with him. He groaned and slammed his head on the bar. The girl jumped slightly.

"Are you ok?" she asked. Eiri said nothing.

"I'm Hikaru, you?"

"Yuki," he muttered. The girl smiled.

"Are you okay, Yuki-San?" Sighing he nodded.

"So ,who are you hiding from?" Eiri sat up and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not as naive as I look. Normally guys have their hands all over me by now, so either you have someone or you're gay. Which is it?" Eiri frowned, of all people why did he have to get the mind reader.

"I just wanted to clear my head." Hikaru raised her eye brow this time.

"Drinking is a very good way to clear your head, so who is it?" Eiri glared at the girl, a glare that sent grown men away crying, but the girl sat there unfazed. Bloody brilliant.

"None of your business," he said harshly.

"You know, people don't wait around forever. Who ever it is, you should tell them before its too late." Eiri looked sharply at the girl but she had already left to join her friends on the dance floor.

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Pulling his jacket tighter around him Shuichi walked on, eyes darting here and there, listening for the smallest sound. Hiro's dorm was in another building and Shuichi had decided to take a walk before heading there. It had gotten dark quickly and Shuichi was now hurrying to Hiro's dorm, eyes darting everywhere just in case someone was following him. He knew he was being paranoid, but he did have reason to be.

He was being so careful, paying so much attention to the shadows that he didn't notice the figure running up behind him, not until a hand wrapped tightly around his mouth.

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Eiri slammed the door shut angrily. He hadn't even gotten drunk but he had to leave that bar. If he kept comparing people to Shuichi he thought he'd go mad. Plus, he felt guilty going out without Shuichi, he felt as if he would be cheating on Shuichi if he bought a girl back.

The dorm was dark and Eiri found his mood worsening, Shuichi always managed to make him feel calm. He sat down on the sofa without putting any lights or the TV on, he'd need time to stew in his bad mood. But tonight just wasn't his night. A knock at the door interrupted him.

"Come in!" he shouted angrily. Whoever it was turned the light on when they came in. Eiri cursed them silently.

"Is Shuichi here?" Hiro asked. Eiri instantly tensed.

"No, he was heading for your dorm last time I saw him." Both froze then bolted for the door.

"I'll go this way," Eiri said as he ran down the corridor. Hiro headed in the other direction.

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Shuichi's small frame was slammed violently into the hard unforgiving wall. He coughed as he slid to the floor and a laugh echoed horribly through the room.

"Such a pathetic thing," a cruel voice whispered. A hand wrapped around his neck and lifted his body easily.

"Stand up!" Shuichi was placed on shaking legs, somehow managing to find the strength to stand. The room was pitch black, heavy curtains that let no light through covering the windows. Shuichi couldn't even see the nose in front of his face. All her could sense were the cruel voice and the overpowering aroma of aftershave.

He was slammed into the wall again and a strong body pressed hard against him. One of the man's hands pressed on his chest, the other resting on the wall.

"Such a beautiful body, almost feminine." The face slowly moved closer until Shuichi could feel the others hot breath on his lips.

"And all going to waste." A mouth crushed down on his. Shuichi pressed his lips firmly shut, trying to keep the tongue at bay, but a hand squeezed both his cheeks, prising his lips apart, and the tongue entered his mouth. Shuichi felt the urge to be sick. He could feel tears starting to fall. The tongue continued to rape his mouth, exploring every crevice. After an age, it slowly moved to his lips, and then a fist slammed into his stomach like an iron hammer. Shuichi coughed and the coppery taste of blood came to his mouth.

The tongue re-entered his mouth, licking away every speck of blood. Shuichi could hear him as he swallowed. Shuichi was sure he was going to be sick now. The body pressed closer against him until not a gap of air would fit between the two. Hips rotated in a slow motion, grinding their groins together. Shuichi whimpered. He wanted to run, but there was no escape. He'd heard the other lock the door and had no idea were he'd hidden the key.

A cold had lifted his shirt and caressed the skin were the punch had landed.

"Your blood tastes so good. I wonder if you taste even sweeter." A hand ghosted over his crotch, still cover by Shuichi's trousers. The laugh returned and Shuichi was sent flying to the right as a punch slammed into his face. As he fell, he hit a small bedside table and he heard the tinkling of things falling on the floor with him. He landed painfully on the floor, sobbing. Even though his side hurt where he'd landed on the small table, the laugh continued. Punches and kicks landed all over his body, and he could taste more blood in his mouth but he didn't care. Anything was better than having that body pressed against him.

After the onslaught on his body, Shuichi was in too much pain to move. He just curled up into a ball and hoped for the darkness to take him. Anything was better that this humiliation.

But it wasn't over yet, Shuichi wanted to scream when he was picked up again and slammed against the wall. His shirt was ripped off. Shuichi yelped in pain as it was pulled roughly over his head and from his arms. The lips and tongue started again, starting on this mouth first, moving to the lips, cheeks, chin. Slow kisses and bites, hard, painful bites, and licks. All the way down his body until the mouth reached the waist band of his trousers.

NO! Shuichi wanted to scream, no no no no! He closed his eyes. This was not happening, could not be happening! NO! The tears fell faster, he had to get out, he just had too. Something glittered on the floor from the single ray of moon light that manage to shine through. His saviour. The key!

He felt fingers brushing against his hips as they grabbed the waist band of his trousers. Now! Remembering the self-defence moves Hiro had taught him, he struck the man in the back of the neck with all the fore he could muster. The body fell to the floor with a thump and a string of curses but Shuichi had already jumped for the key and ran to where he knew the door would be. Feeling blindly in the dark for the handle, Shuichi managed to inset the key with shaking hands and unlocked the door. Hands still shaking, he threw the key to one side and headed for the front door. He dimly noticed that he was in someone's dorm. He could hear movement from the room he'd just escaped from. The man was coming after him.

Reaching the front door Shuichi flung it open, tears now blinding him he sobbed in relief and ran as fast as he could.

Taki stood in the door way rubbing the back of his neck and muttering angrily, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Better luck next time."

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Shuichi didn't even realize he was outside; the biting wind was welcome compared to being in that room. He was running blindly now, tears impairing his vision, sobs ripping through his body. He was shirtless and freezing but free and running away. He just needed to get to safety, his safety, Eiri. But…he couldn't let Eiri see him like this. He couldn't let anyone see him like this, he carried on running.

"Shuichi!" Was all he heard as he ran into a warm body, No! He couldn't let him see him like this, not like this. Strong arms wrapped gently around him, as Shuichi struggled weakly, his strength leaving him. He was so tired. He fell into the warm embrace sobbing his heart out, crying until he felt he could cry no more. The arms tightened around him.

"Shhhhh, you're safe now," the familiar voice whispered. Shuichi did the only thing his weakening body felt appropriate to do, he fainted.

Feeling the form in his arms go limp, Eiri looked down to see that Shuichi had passed out. Concern and fear flashed in his eyes. And anger, whoever had done this would pay. Eiri took his coat off and wrapped it around Shuichi. He'd only been here a week, a week. Lessons hadn't even started yet. Eiri gently gathered the form in his arms and held the boy close to him. Whoever had done this would pay, they would pay dearly. Eiri's arms tightened protectively around Shuichi as he walked back to their dorm.

MWHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAAHAA! (this gose on untill i lose my voice) oh poor poor Shuichi what am i doing to him you'll just have to wait till next time, but remeber this, the more you review the more i write so review reivew review! (glomps everyone) i love you all for reading this.

ANd if anyone would like me to E-Mail then when i update say so in your next review and i shall start doing that!

Till chapter 7 JA NE! oh and just to annoy everyone chapter 7 and 8 have been written, they just gotta be betad. Everyone better thank Kolie for her work in correcting my spelling and grammer. And review or i might just hold the chapters back (inocent smile) Please (puppy eyes) reviews taste so good


	8. Severing Ties Chapter 7

**IMPORTANT NOTE! **Ok a few people were confused by chapter 8, maybe the authors note at the begining was a bit confusing, but that chapter was a separate story, i takes place a few years after the main story, the main story isnt over yet so dont worry. Sorry for the confusion, maybe i should have posted it separatly. Anyway, sould i post chapter 8 as a separate story, will that avoid confusinon? dose anyone read the notes at the begining, ok ill remove it an add it as another story. Bleh, on with the main story.

**Ashley Vulpix : **I live in Wales which is in the UK and iv'e been going to a welsh school since i was 3 so my first language is welsh. Even though we have english lessons as well more importance is put on welsh so thats why my grammer suxs. (Even though i was in the highest class for English my grammer stilll suxs, gose to prove that welsh schools cant teach english)

anyway, back to the story with chapter 7!

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Eiri gently laid Shuichi on the bed and unwrapped the coat from his small body. Big, angry bruises were showing up on the pale porcelain skin underneath the harsh artificial light. Eiri winced, they looked painful. And there was blood around Shuichi's mouth. Getting a cloth, Eiri wiped away the bloody and tucked Shuichi into his bed. It was bigger and comfier and accommodated better.

"Who did this?" Eiri whispered as he gently caressed the boy's cheek. He could feel tears prickling at his eyes, angry and worried tears. "Who!"

Shuichi's cheeks had shimmering paths running down them from dried tears, and the bruises were all over his body. Someone had tried to strip him. Why? Who?

"Eiri, I can't find…hi...SHUICHI!" Hiro ran into the room like a bat out of hell and was at Shuichi's side in 0.1 seconds. "What happened?"

"I...I don't know. I found him running and he ran right into me. I don't think he even knew it was me. Why would someone do this to him?" Eiri's voice was starting to crack. He wanted so badly to cry, cry for Shuichi, but he also wanted to beat the son of a bitch who did this to a bloody pulp.

Hiro sat down on the bed next to Shuichi, worry painted all over his face.

"When do you think he'll wake up?"

"Shouldn't be long," Eiri whispered, hoping he was right.

Movement from the bed caught both men's attention and they turned expectant eyes to Shuichi. The boy's eyes blinked a few times. They looked so dull and Shuichi looked so confused, as if he was wondering were he was. His eyes darted back and forth, looking at Eiri then Hiro then blinking. The vivid eyes widened and he gasped, memory flooding back. The tears in his eyes started again and he curled into a ball, arms wrapped tightly around his legs, rocking back and forth.

"Shuichi," Eiri said gently as he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. Shuichi flinched at the contact as if he'd been burned. Eiri frowned; Hiro just sat in the same place, frozen and unsure of what to do. Eiri wrapped his arms around the trembling form and pulled Shuichi close. Shuichi struggled and kicked, hitting Eiri with his fists, trying to scream but his voice wouldn't work. Eiri didn't care. He took every blow, never loosening his grip on the boy. He held him tight and, only when Shuichi went limp and his body was shaken with sobs, did Eiri say anything.

"It's okay now, you're safe." Shuichi curled closer to Eiri, to the warmth and safety, still weeping.

Hiro watched all this, pain flooding through him, most for Shuichi, but anger boiled there too. Something nagged at him. He should be the one comforting Shuichi. Shuichi was his best friend and Hiro felt useless...jealous. Shuichi was being comforted, allowing himself to be comforted by someone he barely knew, and Hiro just sat there. Useless.

He stood up slow and nether seemed to notice. He walked quietly to the door and left, Shuichi's sobs following him and echoing in his mind.

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Eiri gently rubbed Shuichi's, back not saying anymore and letting the boy cry. It seemed to take an age for the tears to finally dry.

"Shuichi, who did this?" The boy shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't know?" A nod and Eiri's grip tightened on the boy.

"If I ever find that bastard, I'll kill him!" Shuichi's face shot up to meet Eiri's, eyes showing concern, begging with him not to do anything stupid. Eiri patted Shuichi's head.

"Worry about yourself, not me." But Shuichi was still giving him that worried look, clinging tightly to his shirt. Eiri smiled.

"It's okay. I won't do anything stupid, relax." Shuichi buried his head again in Eiri's chest.

"Does it hurt? Those bruises look painful. You should take a nice warm bath. I'll go run one for you okay?" Eiri untangled himself from Shuichi and wrapped a blanket around him.

"I'll call you when the bath's ready." Shuichi nodded.

Once the bath was drawn, Eiri helped Shuichi into the bathroom since the boy was still weak and could barely stand. Once in the room, Eiri gently sat Shuichi down on the edge of the bath, turning his back so Shuichi could undress in private. Once he heard Shuichi sink beneath the bubbles, he turned around again and went to pick the clothes up.

"I'll be back with a towel in a sec," But a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist, sad frightened eyes looked up at him.

"You don't want to be left alone?" Shuichi nodded so Eiri sat on the floor back to the bath.

"I'll be right here, just tell me when you're done." Shuichi nodded. A pat on his head and Eiri looked up to see Shuichi holding a sponge out to him. Eiri nodded and sat on the edge of the bath so he could wash Shuichi's back.

It was strange how Eiri could tell exactly what Shuichi wanted without the boy even speaking. He'd only known him a week but it felt as if they'd known each other forever. When he was done, he handed Shuichi a towel and turned his back again so Shuichi could get out of the bath. Shuichi could stand by now but Eiri still stayed close. Walking back to Eiri's room, Eiri handed Shuichi one of his shirts to change into.

"I'll go make us some coffee okay?"

While Eiri went to get the coffee, Shuichi dried himself and put on the shirt. It was way too big for him and came down to his knees, but it smelled of Eiri and Shuichi didn't mind. He climbed into the bed and wrapped himself tightly in the covers. The door slowly opened a few minutes later and Eiri walked in, carrying two cups of steaming coffee. He placed them on the bedside table and climbed into the bed next to Shuichi. Shuichi moved up until he was lying right next to Eiri and he wrapped his arms around the man's waist and laid his head on his lap.

Eiri smiled and gently stroked the pink hair.

"Go to sleep Shuichi," he smiled. "I'll be right here." Shuichi nodded and he closed his eyes. He was asleep instantly.

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Waking up to the first day of term was a drag, especially when you had English to look forward to. Shuichi had woken up already and had made them breakfast (well, he'd poured cereal into two bowls but it was the thought that counted), so Eiri had been denied waking up next to a nice warm body too. The day couldn't possibly get worse could it? Of course it could. The printer wouldn't work.

Eiri ate his breakfast with more ferocity than was needed on the poor corn flakes and he scowled at nothing in particular.

"So, Shuichi, what do you have first?" Shuichi passed Eiri his timetable. Music. It was the only course Shuichi had taken.

"The music room isn't far from my English class. I'll walk you to your class, okay?" Eiri smiled and Shuichi blushed. Shuichi then stood up and ran to his room. It was only then that Eiri noticed what the boy was wearing. The shirt Eiri had given him Saturday night and jeans. Eiri smiled. The shirt was still too big for him, even tucked into his jeans; the collar was so wide that, on one side, it showed most of his shoulder.

Shuichi came back a moment later carrying a guitar case. Eiri raised an eyebrow; he hadn't remembered seeing that around anywhere. Shuichi dumped the case by the door and put on a jacket. He then looked at Eiri, waiting patiently. Eiri looked at his watch and jumped up like he'd been sitting on a hot coal. He was already late and making Shuichi late. Grabbing his bag and throwing on a coat, he ran out of the dorm Shuichi hot on his heels.

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They reached the music room to find that the teacher hadn't even come yet. Shuichi went to sit by Hiro and Suguru. Eiri waved goodbye and ran to his English class.

Hiro looked questioningly at Shuichi. After what had happened he hadn't expected his friend to be here, but Shuichi just gave him his "I'm fine" smile.

"Shuichi. Fujisaki. Fujisaki. Shuichi." He introduced the two and they both shook hands politely. Suguru smiled kindly at Shuichi.

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Eiri skidded through the door, hoping he'd gotten to his class before the teacher. No such luck. A bullet went flying past his face, joining the many already in the wall. Eiri glared.

"And what time do you call this!" the American roared angrily. A tall blond man stood in front of Eiri, dark glasses hiding his eyes and a gun in one hand, still smoking from the shot. His face looked like thunder, he really hated students being late.

"Sorry, Mr. K," Eiri muttered (AN: Who saw this coming? Tell the truth now n.n)

"Just take your seat," the American said, waving the gun in the direction of the tables. Many students proceeded to duck under their tables.

"I hope you've done your homework, Uesugi-san," Eiri froze.

"Yeah, um...about that." Gunshots proceeded to ring throughout the building for the rest of the lesson. The other teachers just rolled their eyes. No one bothered to stop the American, no one dared. As long as he didn't kill anyone then it was ok. Although, how they'd explain the bullet holes to the inspectors was anyone's guess.

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Everyone was now free except for Hiro who had English. He didn't know why he'd chosen to take that subject too. Music was going to be hard enough, but his parents had been so sad when he'd chosen to do music. He'd taken English just to please them so he could get some other job if the music failed. He sighed and took his seat, not many people were in the class. A small group were looking worriedly at the walls, noticing the bullet holes.

Hiro just stared at the wall for a while but noticed the absence of blood. He thought it was nothing to worry about.

The class soon seemed as full as it would get. There were about sixteen students in all, including Hiro, and Hiro knew none of them. He sighed and glared at the black board. The teacher still wasn't here.

Just when Hiro was ready to fall asleep, the door was slammed open and an impressive figure stood in the door way; long shining blond hair flew around him like a cape and dark glasses hid his eyes. A holster holding a gun was in plain sight and he wore a slightly manic smile. He strode into the room, enjoying the worried whispers following him. Hiro just stared.

"Hello, class, I'm your teacher Mr. K," he said in English. A few people looked blankly at him, but most of the class understood. He smiled again and began talking in Japanese, about the class, about how he wouldn't tolerate lateness in any sense. Anyone who arrived to class late would be punished. He then smiled.

"So, why don't you all introduce yourselves. You." He pointed at Hiro. Hiro gulped and was at a loss for what to say. He'd been staring for a little too long at K and wasn't quite sure what the man had said.

"Errrrr..."

K sighed. "What's your name kid?"

"Nakano Hiroshi."

"And...?" Hiro then said a little about himself, where he lived, and so on and so forth. K smiled and nodded.

"I'm K in case you missed it earlier when you were half asleep." He then turned his attention to another student and missed Hiro's blush.

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Hiro walked out of the English classroom, his bowed head lost in thought. He didn't notice Suguru shouting at him until the boy shouted right in his ear.

"HIRO!"

"ACK!" Hiro shouted as his hands flew to his ears and his books crashed to the floor. Suguru laughed as he picked up Hiro's books and handed them to him.

"Sorry but you looked so spaced out." Suguru smiled. Hiro tried to glare but it was impossible to stay mad at Suguru. He sighed as he took his books from the green-haired boy muttering a thanks.

"I'm hungry, wanna go get a bite to eat?" Hiro nodded and followed Suguru to the cafeteria. They took got their food and took a table in the corner. Hiro was quiet and picked at his food. Suguru look at his new friend with concern.

"Hiro, you ok?" Hiro looked at him as if he'd just noticed he was there.

"I'm fine. It's just…something happened to Shuichi on Saturday. I'm just worried about him." 'And all I can think about is my English teacher.' Hiro sighed mentally. Suguru patted Hiro on the back and smiled at him.

"Shuichi-kun looked fine this morning. I'm sure he's ok." Hiro returned the smile weakly and returned to picking at his food.

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The week passed without anything new happening. Students were settling into their lessons and already complaining about homework. Eiri had been shot at every lesson so far, even Hiro hadn't escaped the gun's wrath. Shuichi wouldn't go anywhere without Hiro or Eiri with him, but he seemed pretty normal. Most of the bruises were still there and he would flinch slightly if he moved too quickly or someone bumped into him. He shied away from every man in the corridor and wouldn't go out at night, even if Eiri or Hiro were with him. So he was back to were he started really, but at least he was getting a good night's sleep now.

They had tried to persuade him to go to the police but Shuichi hadn't seen who attacked him and couldn't remember where he'd run from (e'd been in too much of a blind panic), so there was nothing the police could do and no one Eiri could beat to pulp. This was probably a good thing because Eiri would have killed the guy, but he couldn't get rid of a nagging feeling that Ayaka was involved. She had looked properly pissed and he wouldn't put anything past her. He didn't want to go talk to her, but by the end of the week the nagging feeling wouldn't go away and he knew it was his only chance to find Shuichi's attacker.

So reluctantly, after dropping Shuichi off at Hiro's, he headed for Ayaka's dorm.

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Eiri stood outside the door, glaring at it. He really didn't want to go in, but walking over here he grew more confident that Ayaka knew something. He set a determined look on his face. For Shuichi, he'd do this for Shuichi.

He knocked.

"Yuki...?" Ayaka asked questioningly when she opened the door, surprised to see him there. She then smiled and threw the door open. "Come in Yuki!" she chirped. Eiri strode past her with a face of stone. She looked a bit confused but smiled when Eiri sat down.

"Coffee?" She didn't get an answer, but minutes after, a mug off coffee was placed in front of Eiri. Eiri picked up the mug and sipped at it, not saying a word.

"So...anything new?" The cup slammed into the glass table, cracking it, and Ayaka jumped.

"Anything new? ANYTHING NEW! YOU BITCH!" he yelled, his hand was still wrapped around the cup. His grip tightened until he could feel the china give way. It was only when boiling water slipped over his hands did he realize that he'd cracked it.

"Who did you hire? WHO DID YOU HIRE TO DO THAT TO SHUICHI?" Fear flashed in Ayaka's eyes, but it was soon replaced by her most innocent look.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Yuki."

"LIAR!" he roared, standing up and towering over Ayaka. He gripped the collar of her shirt roughly and pulled her to her feet.

"Tell me, who was it!"

"I DONT KNOW!" _Slap._ The sound of skin hitting skin echoed around the room. Ayaka's head snapped to the side and she gasped, tears beginning to slip from her eyes. Eiri let go quickly, looking horrified at what he'd done. He'd never hit a woman before. But now...

Ayaka looked at him eyes shining with tears and a hand clutched her cheek.

"Yuki...?" But anger still burned inside of him.

"I know that you know something, but know this. I hate you and I will never marry you. I'd rather die." He said all this with a calm even voice full of hate.

"But, Yuki, I...I did it for us, he was blinding you...it's all..."

"Don't blame him. This is all your doing." His hand clamped around Ayaka's wrist and he took the ring from her finger, the ring his father had given to her when their marriage had been arranged. It had belonged in the family for ages. Ayaka would not be allowed to keep it.

She cried out when the ring was taken, finally realizing what she'd done.

"Goodbye, Ayaka," he said emotionlessly as he left.

"No!" she screamed, jumping up and throwing herself onto Eiri's back.

"Yuki, you can't leave! Please! I love you. I'll do anything if you just stay with me. Please, Yuki! YUKI!" Arms caught her and pulled her off Eiri's back, holding her close, She sighed smelling Eiri, and yelped when she was dropped on the sofa.

"But I don't love you."

"How can you do this, Yuki? After what happened with Kitazawa, the way he humiliated you when you told him your feelings. How can you fall for another guy, he'll only do the same to you. But I love you; I'll stay with you forever."

Eiri just smiled.

"Kitazawa was a fool and I was young. Shuichi is different, and besides who said I loved him that way. I care for him and I want to protect him from evil witches like you. It's too soon to name a feeling like that, but you never know. If anything dose happen, I'll be sure to invite you to the wedding and watch as your heart breaks." Ayaka was sobbing hysterically now, beyond words. Eiri smiled the manic smile again.

"Goodbye," he whispered as he headed for the door. Leaving the girl on the sofa, watching as hear heart broke, as she cried her eyes out. He felt nothing. Only hate.

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Back in the dorm Eiri sat on the sofa and sighed, he felt totally drained and began to question things. His feeling for Shuichi. Was he in love?

The ring glittered in his hands and he smiled, thinking how it would look on Shuichi. Probably very stupid, but also very cute. It might not even fit him. He leaned back and closed his eyes.

_"How can you do this Yuki, after what happened with Kitazawa," _Eiri scowled, Kitazawa...

Flashback

_"Yuki look at that!" a young boy with blond hair and gold eyse turned to face his friend who was about a year older. The other boy had dark hair and smiled at his friend's enthusiasm. It was their first visit too the zoo. The dark haired one stood by the blond one._

_"Wow tigers, cool." The blonde beamed at him._

_"YUKI!" a small whirlwind crashed into him sobbing._

_"Eiri, wha'st wrong?"_

"_They were calling me names again, saying I don't belong and no one wants to be my friend." The dark haired boy patted his younger friend's head._

_"There, there, I want to be your friend, Eiri. Don't cry."_

_"Leave him alone!" An angry Yuki stood in front of a trembling Eiri._

_"How can you protect that freak?" one of the bullies yelled._

_"Because he's my friend," Yuki smiled._

_"Yuki..."_

_"I'm sorry, Eiri, I cant come out tonight."_

_"Hey, Kitazawa, get over here!"_

_"I'm coming. See ya, Eiri!"_

_"I'll miss you."_

_"We're only going to different schools for a year. You'll be in high school soon, too. Take care of yourself, Eiri."_

_"Yuki!"_

_"Hey, Eiri. Welcome to high school!"_

_"Yuki, I have something important I want to tell you."_

_"What is it? I'm busy," he said, waving in the direction of his friends. _

_"Can we go somewhere private?"_

_"I don't have time for this brat." Yuki began to walk away._

_"WAIT! I...I...I love you, Yuki." Eiri whispered. Yuki froze staring at the younger boy before he burst out in fits of laughter._

_"You what! That's priceless. Hey, guys, you'll never guess what this kid just said..."_

_He pretended not to hear the vicious whispers that followed him._

_"Fag, Freak, Get away from me, Weirdo." It wasn't like he wasn't used to it, but without Yuki. It was hell..._

_Eiri had finally finished his book, his first book. He smiled as he put down his pen name:_

_'Yuki Eiri' _

_He'd prove that he wasn't worthless. He'd prove that to Kitazawa._

end flashback

Eiri smiled slightly at the memories. He hadn't seen Kitazawa since the end of high school, not that he really cared. He had loved him, loved his best friend with all of his heart, but Kitazawa couldn't understand. It was his loss anyway. Eiri was now a best selling author, after the end of his course he'd be moving to New York.

But now, a new person had entered the picture. Shuichi's face flashed in his mind and the smile became a true one.

Shuichi. He clutched the ring tighter. Could he really leave for New York now? He found he didn't want to; he didn't want to be without Shuichi.

"I'm getting soft in my old age," he muttered to no one.

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Shuichi came back not long after with Hiro, as soon as Hiro knew Shuichi was safe he left saying a quick goodbye to Shuichi and Eiri.

"Welcome home, Shuichi," he smiled, "Want anything?" Shuichi shook his head and sat down by Eiri, resting his head on the man's shoulder. Eiri wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders. Both sat in a comfortable silence after that.

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Hiro sat alone in his room and tried to think, but a blonde teacher kept popping in his minds eye. Eyes hidden by dark glasses. He wondered what those eyes looked like. He remembered the way the man's lips moved, wondered how though lips would feel… Damn. He punched his pillow and rolled over, closing his eyes tightly andtrying to force K out of his mind, but…did he really want him to leave...

"DAMN!" Hiro screamed throwing his pillow across the room, "I think I'm falling in love with my teacher," he muttered. He sighed. This...was very bad, he decided. He flopped back down not bothering to get the pillow.

Hope you liked this chappie remember the more you review the more i write (inocent grin) so everyone rember to click the go button and review review review! ok im going to shut up now and go write the rest of the story.


	9. On the Knifes Edge Chapter 8

ANOTHER CHAPTER! I'm getting realy good at updating this regularly. Anywho a few notes. 

**Ashley Vulpix**: Your welcome n.n glad your enjoying the story.  
**HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYUICHI**: (Gets out streamers and cake) i could never forget Ryu-chan B-Day n.n  
**ReadorDie214**: I could never put Hiro with Ayaka, eww (sticks out tounge)  
**Goku-Chan** : Glad you like it n.n  
**TAMMY** **(or TAMMY-LOVE) **:Glad you like the story, and do write a story, id love to read it.  
**Destiny**: I actualy kinda agree with you, i thought Shu trusted Yuki a bit too quickly, but no one mentioned anything so i though no one minded, anywho my reason why he trusted him quickly is for the past few years Shuichi hasn't been able to go to sleep because of the nightmares, whenever he sleeps he always has nightmares so when he had his first nightmares free sleep it was strange to him, and knowing it was because of Yuki he kinda trust him. He sees Eiri as safty, kinda like a security blanket or a stuffed animal a child would hug to feel safe. Get what im saying? n.n anyway thats my reason. i love athrun: New chapter! n.n **Kryptic Insanity** : Its still not definate yet, K might not even like Hiro. You'll just have to keep reading to find out.  
**Yo** : Glad you like it n.n  
**eiriyukinShuichi **: Im glad you decided to read this even though its an AU, thanks  
**Kitty in the Box**: I loved writting the Yuki and Ayaka bit, n.n and it still might not be HiroXK  
**Tink**: Thanks for your reviews, im glad my spelling errors have some purpas n.n **Kimika**: More Hiro and K soon, but also more Hiro Suguru, i still haven decided who Hiro will end up with.  
**Red-Mizu**: Glad you like the story, viva la collage days!  
**Eve**: lol YuXShu will come, it'll come n.n TaraYuki-Uesugi: hehe id love to have K as a teacher would you, glad you like the story.  
**A** **Kira**: me glad you like it n.n firewithin: thanks! i hope you enjoy this chappie too  
**Shuuichi Shindou-Uesugi**: im an idiot, its at hotmail(dot)com  
**Kanilla-Master of Fluff**: I think K makes a great teacher, n.n i was a bit worried people wouldnt like the idea.  
**Saint** **Germain**: We all love K, but now im starting to hate him (read manga vol 11 and you'll understand) anywho im not going to bash him in this fict, hes a good guy in this story n.n  
**Bram**: I plan on adding RyuXTat, its just hard to find somwere to fit it in  
**Suki**: Squuee YuXShu are just too cute, i could never make them mean to eachother.  
**Any** **one** : like i said already, Hiro has just fallen for K, K might be married, he might not, and i like Kitazawa for some reason so i wanted him alive in this story, now i can toy with him for hurting Eiri, mwahahhaa  
**Hoshi-Hiru**: glad you liked the side story and glad you like this story. n.n

THE REVIEW OF SHAME! Meh: Learn to write a proper review, if your going to complain about something do it properly. And im not saying what you said isnt true it is, i admit it enough, but i dont need you to point it out to me and i certinatly dont like people being mean about it

Right back on track, heres the chappie (hands out tissues) your gonig to need them, and please dont kill me (scampers away to hide.)

**Chapter 8.**

Weeks passed in a monotone mess, one day was no different to the other and soon school had truly started. The library was soon packed with study groups, and people crowded the front stairs, enjoying the autumn air before it got too cold.

Shuichi sat outside now, guitar in hand. He played a few notes and frowned. No matter how hard he tried the notes just didn't seem right. They seemed jammed together and made his ears want to bleed. He almost threw his guitar in frustration before Hiro gently placed his hand over Shuichi's.

"Let me help," he said as he took Shuichi's guitar and changed a few notes to make the music flow. (I know Feck about music so I'm not even going to bother making something up n.n) Shuichi smiled gratefully and he played the cords Hiro had changed and found the sound much more pleasing.

"Now all I have to do is write my piece," Hiro said, looking worriedly at his guitar as if it would play it self. Their homework was to compose a piece of music and play it by next month. It was hard work and Hiro didn't even know were to begin, but Shuichi was nearly finished, with Hiro's help. Shuichi offered to help Hiro, but no matter what, nothing sounded right. Hiro sighed, setting his guitar back in its case. There was no point in trying to work when your inspiration levels were zero.

Eiri came over and sat next to Shuichi.

"So, how's your music going? Am I allowed to hear it?" Shuichi nodded and began to play. It was an odd piece; sad and slow in places, but in others the pace ,would fill up like a shining ray of hope. Eiri smiled as Shuichi's played. Shuichi was putting his heart into the performance, for Eiri. Hiro wasn't needed anymore, so he slowly slipped.

Hiro walked into the music room without paying attention. He thought it was empty since there were no lessons in here today anyway, but he was wrong.

"Hey Hiro!" he jumped and dropped his guitar case. Suguru laughed.

"You scared me!" Hiro glared at the kid. Suguru smiled, but it seemed forced and sad.

"You never notice when I'm around." Suguru tuned away from Hiro to look out the window. "Its a nice day, why aren't you outside?" Hiro shrugged.

"Didn't want to disturb the love birds?" Suguru raised an eyebrow.

"Shuichi and Eiri? It's obvious that they care for each other, but they're too thick to notice. So did you finish your piece yet?" Hiro shook his head.

"I haven't even stated yet." Hiro said as he slumped into a chair. Suguru smiled.

"I just finished mine so how about I help you with yours?" Hiro shrugged.

"I don't want to bother you, besides the keyboard is your speciality."

"I can still try." Suguru offered. Hiro smiled.

"If you want to help that bad, then sure." Hiro took his guitar out and Suguru sat by the keyboard. For almost half an hour, Suguru would play a string of notes and Hiro would repeat them, but still nothing sounded right. Hiro was nearly ready to throw his guitar out the window.

"We aren't getting anywhere?" Suguru muttered, sounding worried. He wore a thoughtful expression for a second before speaking. "Maybe it'll work if you think of someone important to you. Imagine that you're writing this music for them, then you'll be able to write something. It worked for me." Suguru smiled. Hiro looked thoughtful. Someone important. Shuichi was his first thought, but blonde hair and dark glasses gently pushed Shuichi to the side.

"Someone special... Fujisaki, can I hear your piece please?" Suguru nodded. Slow deep notes flowed out of the instrument in a sad dance. It sounded like heartbreak, as if something painful was happening. He could tell Suguru had put his heart into the piece, but what worried him most was the sadness in the music. Suguru really was an amazing keyboard player.

"Who is your special person?" Hiro asked.

Suguru tapped his nose and a smile back on his face. "Secret!"

Hiro smiled at the boy. Suguru slipped so easily from one emotion to the other that it was hard to keep up sometimes. Hiro went back to his guitar and thought of that special person. Shuichi was still being gently pushed aside by the blonde, but now something else plagued his mind. A shadow in the background, smiling encouragingly but also looking so sad, and he had green hair. Hiro sighed again; things just seemed to be getting worse. He struck a few cords on the guitar and found that they weren't that bad, a few more cords and he started to get a rhythm going. He concentrated on that special person, the blonde teacher, dark glasses hiding his eyes.

After a few hours of hard work, Hiro had gotten a rough draft done and it didn't sound too bad, either.

"Thanks for your help, Fujisaki," Suguru just gave him a smile as they both walked out of the music room, chatting friendly.

"Wanna go grab something to eat?" Hiro asked. Suguru nodded, smiling brilliantly. Hiro laughed.

They sat in the cafeteria in silence. It was empty and quiet right now, it was a nice day outside so most people chose to eat out. Even though Hiro hadn't had anything to eat all day he had no appetite, so he chased his food around the plate with his chopsticks. He sighed as he dropped them, giving up on the game and stared at nothing in particular.

"Something the matter?" Hiro turned his attention to a concerned looking Suguru, and he gave the younger boy what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine, just thinking too much." He turned his attention back to the window.

"You know," Suguru said in a whisper, "you are always there for Shuichi, there to hear his problems. From what I can tell you've been there for him since forever. You listen to him and help him, yet you don't have any one you share your problems with, no one to hear you. You might not have gone through what Shuichi went through, but you could still do with some one to talk to. We all need someone to listen to us once in a while. Hiro, please don't keep your problems from me. I might not be able to help much, but I can listen to you." He finished with a small smile and his head bowed, green hair hiding his face and what looked suspiciously like a blush. Hiro smile.

"Thank you, Fujisaki, but it's nothing major. I guess I just feel guilty for thinking about someone else when I should be thinking about Shuichi."

"You love this person?" Suguru asked, straight to the point.

"I...I don't know." Hiro sighed dropping his head in his hands. It was only when he felt Suguru's gentle touch on his shoulder that he looked up, and again Suguru was wearing that sad smile.

"Don't feel guilty for falling in love. I know you want to be there for Shuichi, but he's starting to fall in love, as well. You shouldn't feel guilty about doing the same. You will always be best friends and you can still be there for him. You can still love and be there for your friend, Hiro." Suguru had moved his hand from Hiro's shoulder by now and Hiro noticed vaguely how cold it seemed without the warm hand there. He smiled, Suguru had a way about him. He could cheer people up with the simplest words. Hiro thought of the Shuichi he'd known years ago, so similar yet so different.

"Fujisaki,...arigatou."

Ayaka watched them, Shuichi playing his guitar and Eiri smiling at him. They were sitting far too close. Her eyes went to slits as she glared at them. It was all the pink-haired whore's fault. He was taking her Yuki, brain washing him. If only she could get him back...

"Ayaka-chan?"

"Huh?... Yume-Chan, what is it?"

"Ayaka-chan, are you okay? You've been acting really weird lately."

"I'm fine, Yume, just fine." Ayaka muttered with no real conviction behind her words. "I have to go now. I'll see you later, Yume." Yume watched her friend leave, worry shining in her eyes.

"Ja Matta, Ayaka-chan," she whispered.

"NAKANO!" K shouted as Hiro tried to sneak in late. A gunshot echoed through the room and hit the wall, taking a few of Hiro's hairs with it.

"Sorry I'm late." He smiled weakly.

"Take your seat," K ordered. Hiro nodded and followed the order.

"Okay, class, hand in you assignment, then you can go." The class began muttering amongst themselves. It was rare for a teacher to cancel class, but no one really wanted to question K. Every began shuffling to the front of the class and dropping their assignments on the desk. Hiro was the last one to hand his assignment in, and was nearly at the door when K called him back.

"Nakano, can I talk to you please?" Hiro walked aback to the desk, slightly worried and trying to think of something he might have done wrong.

"Don't look so scared. I'm not going to shoot you," K smiled, and it was such a beautiful smile. Hiro relaxed. "I was just wondering if everything's okay. You seem distracted."

'Well other than I'm falling in love with you and I'm losing my best friend. Everything's just peachy' "Nothings wrong sir. I'm just a bit tired, I guess."

"We'll try and get some more sleep, then. You college kids think you're invincible." He smiled again and Hiro couldn't help but smile too. It truly was a beautiful smile. He nodded.

"I promise to get an early night tonight."

'Don't feel guilty about falling in love...'

Was it love? The blond American intrigued him. He wanted to know more about him. He wanted to know what color eyes the man hid with his dark glasses, he wanted to know a lot about the man, he wanted to know everything. But was it love? What was love?

Hiro sighed as he headed for his dorm. His head was a mess and it was starting to twist and turn into an even bigger mess. Thinking just wasn't helping.

Hiro sat on the couch and, for once, Tatsuha was sitting down quietly. It was very strange.

"Why aren't you bouncing off the walls today?" he finally asked. Tatsuha beamed at him.

"Tohma and Ryuichi are coming over soon. I cant wait to see Ryuichi again. I'm so excited I can't move!" Hiro raised an eyebrow. He guessed it made since in a strange sort of way. Normally people wouldn't be able to sit still if they were excited, but Tatsuha, someone who always seemed to be moving, was frozen to the spot with excitement.

Hiro knew it was getting bad when Tatsuha started to make sense. Although what was bad he wasn't sure, just something. Everything was so complicated.

Hiro sat at the desk; not really listening to K. He was too busy watching his mouth. His lips looked so soft and kissable. He watched as the man's tongue darted out now and then to lick the dry lips, he watched as his mouth formed each word, he watched the man's movements as he paced in front of the class. He should be listening really, but...it was so hard to concentrate with such a beautiful distraction in the way.

"So, Nakano, what's the answer?"

"Huh...?" K shot at Hiro's desk ,narrowly missing the teen's hand.

"Question 5!" he roared. Hiro gulped and glanced at his book.

"Afternoon...?"

"Good guess," K grumbled before returning to the lecture. Hiro decided he wanted his hand free of bullet holes so he did his best to listen.

Ayaka sat on her own under one of the trees. She looked like she hadn't slept in days and her eyes were red and puffy, but anger still burned inside her. She wanted revenge; she hated Shuichi for what he'd done. She knew Yuki slept with a lot of women, but they hadn't meant anything to him, but Shuichi. He was dangerous. She wasn't stupid, she knew, even if Yuki didn't realize it, she knew he preferred men. But he'd been brought up in a way that made what he felt wrong, so he'd always hid it. She believed she could change Yuki, make him love her, and she would win, she was determined to.

"Yo, Ayaka!" She looked up and glared at the new comer. "Hey, what's with the snarl?"

"You...you... were supposed to deal with him, not make Yuki call the engagement off!"

"Hey, calm down, so it didn't quite go as planned, but don't worry. I have a score to settle with that kid." Taki grinned. "You'll get your Yuki all to yourself soon, so don't you worry." Ayaka looked like she didn't believe him.

"Fine, one last chance." She stood up to walk away, but before she left she turned around to say one last thing. "Just don't fail this time, or I'll take care of him myself!" Taki just gave her a salute.

"Yes ma'am!"

Taki stalked down the corridors, thinking. He had no idea what to do now. He'd been watching Shuichi, waiting for his chance but he was always with someone. He also didn't know what to do, how to get rid of Shuichi. Taki may be mad but he wasn't a murderer, but how to get him to leave Yuki?

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice that Shuichi was walking towards him with Yuki, not until he bumped into them.

"Watch it!" he growled. Eiri glared at him and Shuichi stared at him eyes wide. Taki sneered at them and walked away quickly, it wasn't a good idea to piss Yuki off.

Shuichi watched Taki go, his heart racing. Could it be? That smell was so familiar and the voice. It was…it was. Shuichi fell to his knees as a sob escaped him; he wrapped his arms around his body, staring at the ground. He didn't hear Eiri call his name, didn't feel him shake him gently, didn't notice the crowd staring at him. He could only concentrate on the smell and the voice. It was him; he was the one who had attacked him.

He was everywhere; he could feel his eyes watching him, could hear the cruel laugh echo in his mind. Shuichi was falling deeper and deeper, he barely moved, just sat there staring into space. He wouldn't eat or drink and slept less.

He knew that man was following him, watching him. He was everywhere he went, laughing at him, waiting until he was alone. He wasn't safe in Eiri's arms anymore, new nightmares sneaked through. The angel's wings had been penetrated by evil so that they were no longer shields. As soon as Shuichi fell asleep he was no longer in Eiri's arms but imprisoned in the dark-haired man's ones. Being beat, kissed against his will and he couldn't get away. So he didn't sleep. He just lay in Eiri's arms, listening to his breathing. It was the only comfort he could draw from the darkness around him, just listening to the other man's breathing was enough to calm him sometimes. Felling his heart beat against his own as the other held him so close, still trying to protect him.

Shuichi didn't respond to anything any more either. He couldn't hear people when they talked to him. He barely even noticed they were there.

It was 5 days after the encounter in the corridor. Shuichi felt so weak, so drained. He couldn't move, he couldn't even fight off sleep anymore.

He could feel the body pressing against him; hear the cruel laugh, the smell. The tears. The pain. No way out, no escape, trapped. No way out. Doomed. Trapped. Lost. Can't escape. Never. Worthless. No way out.

Shuichi awoke in a cold sweat, tears burning his eyes. The voices were true, he was worthless, he had no escape, he would always be trapped. There was no escape for him, none...except one. One had hadn't considered for a year, one he remembered well, one he'd welcomed but had somehow managed to stop. Thinking about it now, he wondered how he'd managed so long without the release. Thinking about it made him miss it now. The blissful realization of seeing his own blood, cutting his skin open mercilessly, feeling the slight twinge of pain before the brilliant red stained everything. So beautiful, so comforting. He watched Eiri sleep, a sad smile crossing his features. Not even Eiri could help him now, his angel, his protector. He gently brushed the blonde hair from the mans' eyes and watched as it shimmered like spun gold in the pale moonlight. So beautiful. Shuichi wondered what it was about the man that made him trust him. Maybe it was the kind smile he gave him, no judgement in his eyes. If he knew the truth, Shuichi was sure he would hate him and Shuichi wouldn't be able to deal with that. It would be worse than the pain he was living now. His words were so kind and touches so gentle, the warmth he radiated, just for Shuichi. He was still lying down in bed watching Eiri's sleeping face. Shuichi sighed; he needed to do it now. He would miss the blonde, but the world he was heading to was one without pain, one were he wouldn't have to face harsh reality. The world of death.

'Arigatou' he thought as he kissed the blonde's forehead. He was sorry to do this to someone who had helped him so much, someone who he'd grown to trust and care for. He could feel the tears starting. He didn't want to leave Eiri, but he had no choice. The only way to escape, to end his pain, was to leave, and if he left he would feel no more pain. And Eiri would be free of him, free of the trouble he caused, and Eiri would move on. He'd probably be glad to get rid of him. This bought a sob from Shuichi.

'Please don't let him hate me. Please don't hate me.' Shuichi wondered why his heart ached so much. Why was it screaming at him, with an emotion long forgotten, to stay with Eiri, to lie down and go back to sleep? Eiri would protect him, but Shuichi had long ago stop listening to his heart. It was weak and easy to manipulate. It wasn't a part of him, didn't belong to him.

The only one who understood him was the little voice in his head, the one whispering to him now. It was the only one who told him the truth.

'Do it now,' it said, like a gentle breeze in his mind. 'No one will care, and you'll finally be free. You are strong, strong enough to do this. Give yourself the release you want, need. Do it now!'

'Hai...'

Shuichi quietly got out of bed and, barefooted, walked to the kitchen. Everything glittered menacingly in the pale light of the moon. It was the only light source but was enough for him. He liked the dark anyway, it hid things in its shadows, hid him. After all, he was hiding in the darkness within him. Light was so harsh; it showed everything for what it was without any mercy, that's why he must never go into the light or people would see him for what he really was. He had basked in Eiri's light for long enough, it was time to return to the darkness before Eiri saw him for what he was. The voice laughed at him.

He stood in the kitchen, soulless eyes drinking everything in. He knew by now where everything was, and it wouldn't be hard to find what he needed in the darkness. He walked slowly to the drawer and silently pulled in open. Metal clashed against metal in a delightful sound. So sweet. Sharp.

His hand clutched tightly around a knife. It glinted menacingly in the weak moonlight. It was so beautiful to him, a friend, a true friend, the only one that could save him. He moved the knife around, letting the moon light dance across its blade in a dance, a graceful deadly dance that called to him.

'End it, end it all now, no more pain.' Shuichi slowly bought the knife to his wrist and rested the blade on it. He could feel his blood pound against it. It was fighting to get out, fighting for release. He slowly moved the knife up his arm and made a few experimental slashes on it along old scars. He watched the blood slowly trickle from the wound and he made another and another until his arm was painted red with shallow cuts. He took a deep shuddering breath, trying to ignore the pain nagging at the back of his mind. Now, he had to do it now. He moved the knife over his shaking arm and held it above his wrist. He dragged the knife across his wrist, wincing at the pain (pain for pain, right?), but soon he would feel nothing. He switched the knife to his other hand, blood flowing from his wrist. His hand shook but he forced it to hold on tightly to the knife as he slowly slashed his other wrist.

'Ah, that's better.' He watched the blood flow, flow out of him, away from him, taking away his pain. The blood made a pool around his bare feet, warm and sticky, it flowed down his hands, onto the knife still clutched in his left hand. He could feel his body weaken as the life flowed out of him. Beautiful red life, crimson pain…all going, going, leaving. He would soon be free, soon... Dark spots were starting to dance in his vision and he felt waves of nauseating dizziness hit him again and again. It was dragging him down, pulling him into the welcome darkness. He felt so cold. He began to shake and cursed his weakness, but it would soon be over. He really was weak, so weak, but soon that wouldn't matter.

'Forgive me, Eiri...,' he whispered in his head. It was getting darker. Tears made their greedy ways down his cheeks for the last time. He fell to his knees, lying in his own blood. It was still warm. He could feel it seeping into his clothes and hair, clinging to him as if it wanted to return to his body. He smiled weakly at the thought. So silly. He closed his eyes. His blood felt so warm, it was like a sweet embrace, but it was so sticky, clinging to him, trying to pull him from the darkness. But he was doomed, damned, worthless. He didn't deserve to live after all that he'd done, after all he'd put everyone through. Salty tears mixed with the blood on his cheeks. The darkness was getting thicker until he was sure he was going to drown in it. Closing his eyes again, he sighed out loud with a tiny breath that burned his lungs.

'Take me…take me now. I don't want to live anymore.' The darkness was so welcoming, so friendly, the only one who truly understood him, who saw him for what he was and accepted him. He was a part of the darkness, he was the darkness and he was returning to the darkness.

"SHUICHI!" his angel called to him, the light, he could just about make out Eiri's figure. He heard footsteps as he ran to his side and knelt beside him, saw the blood soak into his trouser legs. It was staining his beautiful angel.

'It's ok Eiri. I'm going to be free, free from any more pain...free' He felt the knife being gently taken out of his hand and he was turned over so he was lying on his back.

"Shuichi what have you done?" He could hear sorrow in Eiri voice and...fear. He wanted to reach up and touch Eiri cheek, tell him it was okay, tell him that he wasn't in pain and would never be again.

'Its ok. I'm going to be free, free from the pain.' He heard a ripping of material and one arm was gently lifted. Eiri tied the material tightly around the bleeding wrist and did the same for the other. It was dark now. Shuichi couldn't see Eiri any more, could only feel his gently touch as he tied the material around his wrists. He was so tired. It was okay to sleep now. He wouldn't dream any more, just slip away. Shuichi let himself be swallowed by the darkness.

Eiri gently picked Shuichi up, wrapping his coat around the boy as he walked out the door and glad that the keys of his car were right there. Shuichi was shaking now, even with the coat on, and his breath was so faint that Eiri wasn't sure if he could hear it. His own heart pounded so loud. There wasn't time to call an ambulance, Shuichi had lost a lot of blood, too much blood...no. He would be fine, just get him to the hospital. He'll be fine, he'll be fine. Eiri chanted this in his head as he carried Shuichi to his car, running down the corridors glad for the late hour and the empty corridors. It helped to avoid awkward questions that could lead to a fatal delay. Eiri burst out the main doors and sprinted to the student's parking lot. He held Shuichi tightly, praying that his movements weren't jarring the frail body too much. He could already feel the warm blood seeping gently into his shirt and his trousers were sticking to his knees where he'd knelt in the boy's blood. So much blood, it stained the floor red, a pool of red life. He held the boy tighter. Shuichi would not die, Eiri refused to let him. He got to his car and dug the keys out of the pocket of his coat, still holding Shuichi in one arm. He opened the back door and, gently laying Shuichi on the back seat, he fasted the middle seat belt around the boy's waist ,just in case he fell off. Eiri jumped into the driver's seat and fired up the engine. There was a roar and the squeal of rubber on the road as he sped off. He had to get Shuichi to a hospital now; he didn't care if he broke any laws. He'd do whatever was needed to save the boy. He was going way above the speed limit but it didn't matter, nothing mattered, just getting Shuichi to a hospital. Then, everything would be fine. He checked his mirror to see if Shuichi was still lying on the back seat. He was, but he looked so pale, impossibly pale. The fabric around his wrists was already soaked in blood, no longer the white of his shirt that he'd ripped into shreds to create temporary bandages, but a vivid crimson, contrasting horribly with the ghostly white of Shuichi skin. He could feel tears stinging cruelly at his eyes, but now was not the time to break down. There would be plenty of time for that when he knew Shuichi was going to be okay.

"Don't die," Eiri whispered. "Don't you dare die." He turned his attention back to the road, dodging any car that got in his way. The drive took so long, too long; he pressed his foot harder on the gas, willing the car to go faster. He cursed Tokyo for being so busy even in the night, but he was glad that everyone seemed to be in as great a rush as he was. He also thanked any one listening for being such a skilled driver as he swerved into the most impossibly tight spaces to get to his destination. Looking again at Shuichi, he saw one of his arms had fallen off the seat and was now dangling on the floor. Eiri almost blanched at seeing the blood soak into the carpet, so much blood, blood everywhere. How much more blood could Shuichi lose before it was too late? Was it already to late?

Eiri parked the car right in front of the hospital door and jumped out. He heard someone shout at him but he took no notice. He went to the back seat and gathered the pale Shuichi into his arms. He dashed into the hospital to find a doctor. He was shaking by now, tears streaming down his face.

"Doctor…I...I need a doctor now. WHERE'S THE DOCTOR?" he shouted as he ran through the hospital and up to the reception desk. The woman took one look at Shuichi and turned pale.

"I'll page the doctor right away, sir." It seemed to take an age before someone finally showed up. By then Eiri was hysterical. He kept shouting for a doctor while holding onto Shuichi tightly. The doctors were trying to coax him gently, reassuring him. They tried to take Shuichi from Eiri's arms but Eiri was holding too tight, afraid that if he let go Shuichi would vanish, would die. It took some gentle coaxing to get Eiri to let go of Shuichi. As soon as the boy was taken from him Eiri collapsed, crying so hard he thought his heart would burst. A nurse gently guided him to a waiting room that was quieter and empty. He sat in one of the chairs still weeping; he took no notice of the people around him. The only thing on his mind was Shuichi.

'Please let him be ok, please.'

He didn't take any notice of the coffee that was placed in front of him. He couldn't even hear the nurse asking him question. He only managed to say Shuichi's name and what had happened. Eiri was still in his pajamas; the flannel trousers caked in blood that was now drying. His shirt was torn in two places that left wide gaps, leaving his skin exposed and open to the cruel attack of the cold. He could still feel the tears slowly leaking from his eyes like a dripping tap. He felt tired but he couldn't sleep, not until he knew Shuichi was okay.

He felt a blanket being draped over him and a kind voice telling him as soon as there was news someone would come. Eiri stared off into the distance, watching the coffee cool. A glance at his watch told him it was 3AM, it would be light in a few hours. He could feel sleep pulling at his eyes but he couldn't let it win, he...couldn't fight it.

**End Chapter 8.**

Please, please, please dont kill me for hurting Shu (hides from angry mob) I promis he might not die (ducks from a flying knife) ok ok Shu will not die, would i have a story if he did? Theres your answer.

Now please, please, pretty please with cherries on top review, ill give you a cookie if you do, and this lovely K all wrapped up in a bow, isnt he cute.

Iv'e been reading Ring, its an awsome book, (random rambleings) anyway, REVIEW PLEASE!

Till next time, Ja Ne!


	10. Waiting Game Chapter 9

**haru's doppelganger : **Yay! Im glad you like OOCness coz i love writing Ayakak like this. n.n

**Ashley Vulpix : **Im glad you liked that part, i think that was my fav part, poor baby Shu, and Yuki looks so cute when he cries n.n

**Xunxin Kohaku : **Shu-Chan will be fine, hes just not gonna wake up till about chapter 11 n.n

**jenny chan : **give you some tissues Dont cry, im not killing Shu, i just like to make charaters suffer a bit before i make them happy

**i love athrun: **Gomen, but i had to hurt Shu-Chan, meep dont hurt me (hides)

**Kitty in the Box : **Im glad you like the chapter, i worked hard on it, and i love HiroXSuguru too, but im still not sure who Hiro will end up with, but soon, soon, mwwhahahaah

**TaraYuki-Uesugi: **DEATH TO TAKI AND AYAKA! (cough) n.n Thankls for not killing me, hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Bram : **Eeep (Hides from Chibi-chan) Gomen nasai! Anywho it was a nurse that was with Eiri at the end. And im glad you liked the chapter.

**Kryptic Insanity : **Dont worry i like broken records (waves HiroXSuguru flag)

**Hikaru Itsuko: **Please dont have a heart attack, my insurance dosen't cover it. What happened to Shu will be reveled soon, i think.

**Saint Germain: **ARIGATOU! n.n I love gliffys, their so much fun to write.Im glad you like the story.

**cutelilpuppieyez:** Awwww (give you more tissues) im sorry, but thats what i was aiming for n.n heres a new chappie for ya

**firewithin: **Here ya go, another chappie!

**DemonicDragon666: **Poor Shu-Chan, im putting him through way too much, but he'll be ok in the end. Enjoy this chapter!

**Shadowed Butterfly: **Dont worry, no deaths in this fict (we'll no main character deaths) and thank Kolie for the checking spelling and grammer n.n shes my awsome beta!

**DeMoN4EvA: **WAIII! Please dont shoot me, heres a new chappie, ne ne. Now please remove the gun (scared look)

**JasLine: **Nope, i cant tell ya what happens, you'll have to wait untill the chapter when all is revelead. But it will be soon i promis. I'll drop you a mail soon ok. When i think of something interesting to say. n.n

**aMeThYsT: **Thanks for not flamming me alive n.n you'll find out soon. (hug Shu) soon, maybe in 3 or 4 chapters.

**chi : **Here and update! n.n arnt i great . Hope you like it.

**Suki : **(gives you a basket full of cookies) no one else wants them, oh well. Enjoy them along with this chapter.

**chibi: **Thanks you, n.n im glad you like it.

**Kimika: **(gives you K all wrapped up) please may i have him back for the next chapter though.

**Kanilla-Master of Fluff : **Awww go no, bother me with your thoughts i dont mind, i like long reviews, the longer the better n.n (huggles) enjoy this chappie!

**Shuuichi Shindou-Uesugi: **Ah, gomen! I promis Shu will get better.

Thanks to everyone who reviewd, i love ya all so much, n.n this chapter is for everyone.

**Chapter 9**

Eiri was shaken awake by a nurse a few hours later.

"Yuki-San, he's out of the operation room now, but he's in a coma. You may go see him if you like," the nurse said seriously, a tired look of someone on night shift in her eyes. Eiri nodded numbly, his head was too clouded to form words or coherent thoughts.

Shuichi was in a small private room. Nothing special, sterile white walls and floor bouncing every ray of light back, making the whiteness whiter until it almost blinded you. Shuichi lay on the bed in a nest of white blankets. His face was so pale, almost as white as everything around him, his pink hair a vivid contrast to his whiter than white face. Eiri choked back a sob as he stood in the doorway. He couldn't see Shuichi like that, looking so dead. Only the beeping of the heart monitor assured him, its steady sound filling the room, the only sign the boy in the bed was alive. The nurse stood silently behind him, but Eiri just couldn't go in, even the steady beeping wouldn't assure him. Shuichi looked dead, do dead.

The blood red sun of early morning shone through the blinds, giving the white a red tinge and reminding him of Shuichi's blood staining the white kitchen floor, red on white.

He could feel tears sting at his eyes and couldn't take the site in front of him any more. It was too much. He turned and ran, pushing the nurse aside; she gave a startled cry and shouted after him but made no move to follow him.

And Eiri never slowed down. He ran and ran until his lungs burned. He had to get back to the dorm because Shuichi would be there. This was all some horrible mistake or a dream. Yes, a dream. It had to be.

_'… you should tell them before it's too late'_

It wasn't too late. Shuichi wasn't dead, wasn't lying lifelessly in a hospital bed, he was safe in the dorm, waiting for him, so he had to get back quickly.

_'Too late…too late…too late'_

'Shut up, shut up, shut up' Eiri chanted as his feet beat on the road. The sky was a blood red. It seemed to be laughing at him, and the sun shone cruelly right in his eyes, burning his vision red. Everything stained red, like the floor, like Shuichi.

No, it was a dream. He would soon be home, soon see Shuichi again, alive and well. Soon. Eiri had forgotten about his car and was now running along the road, ignoring the beeping of passing cars. They were simply distant annoying sounds, nothing that mattered, all that mattered was getting home, getting back to Shuichi, hold him tight and make the dream go away.

It took an age to arrive at the University. Eiri was so numb by now he couldn't even feel the cold, he could only feel his heart beating furiously and his blood pumping angrily.

He dashed through the still empty halls, ignoring the small drops of blood he spotted here and there. They weren't real, just part of the dream, part of the illusion. He swung the door open. It was unlocked and the room was empty and dark.

He stood frozen for a second, waiting for his heart to calm down and for his blood to pound at a less furious pace. He took deep calming breaths, it was all a dream, and he'd wake up soon. He walked slowly to the kitchen and smiled, Shuichi was standing there with his back to him. He closed his eyes and sighed. It was all a dream after all, Shuichi was fine.

Eiri's eyes travelled to the knife in the boy's hand. The blood. He choked again on a sob and closed his eyes tightly. No, this was wrong, this wasn't real. Opening them again he saw Shuichi wasn't there, hadn't even been there, but the blood was, shining and sticky and starting to dry but still horrifyingly red.

Eiri crashed to the floor onto his knees, not ever crying out at the pain that shot through his knees, he was too numb. This wasn't a dream; it was really, horribly real. Shuichi was in that hospital bed, impossibly white, nearly dead. He felt hot rivers of tears sneak down his cheeks and bit his lip to try and stop the sobs. He wrapped his arms around himself and made himself as small as possible. He sat on the kitchen floor next to the pool of blood, the tears still making their greedy ways over his cheeks, ignoring his pleas for them to stop.

He should have stopped Shuichi, it was all his fault. When Shuichi broke down in the corridor, how he slowly deteriorated afterwards until he was just a shell, he wouldn't even smile at Eiri any more. He should have seen it, should have stopped it. He was useless and now Shuichi was in a hospital fighting for his life.

Eiri must have fallen asleep like that. For how long he didn't know, but it must still be early. The birds were singing cheerfully outside, serenading the morning cheerfully. How…how could they be so cheerful? He stared blankly at the now dry pool of blood, staining the white floor a dark brown.

Numbly, Eiri got to his feet. Nothing seemed to sink in. He felt as if he were floating through a dream, not really here, just watching from someone else's eyes. He went to the bathroom to get a towel to mop up the blood, soaking it in warm water. He then used it to clean the blood, but there was so much, the blood now diluted with water returned to a vivid red and it stained his hand, the towel, and everything around him. Eiri just stared at it, still trying to clean the floor, but he only succeeded in making more of a mess. The blood was everywhere now, everything was red, there were no other colours, just shades of blood red. He didn't even notice the knock on the door; he just kept trying to clean the floor with the now red towel. He didn't hear the door handle rattling, or the door swinging open slowly, a tentative call and then footsteps. He only noticed someone had entered the dorm when Hiro yelled right behind him.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Eiri didn't even jump. He turned around slowly to see a pale Hiro standing there in confusion.

"Shuichi..." he whispered staring at the blood soaked knife still on the floor. Hiro gritted his teeth and grabbed Eiri but his shirt, lifting him of the floor, anger flaring in his eyes.

"Didn't I tell you to take care of him! Where is he? Why aren't you with him?" Hiro stepped back slightly when he saw Eiri's red eyes, and watched as more tears fell.

"Hospital…I…I couldn't...he looked so…I just couldn't." Eiri muttered, salty tears falling down his cheeks and landing on his lips. Hiro grabbed Eiri by the arm and gently took the towel from his hands.

"We're going to see Shuichi," he said firmly as he steered Eiri to the door. Trying no cry, shout, scream at the sight of the blood and the knife, he prayed that Shuichi was ok.

'He's in a hospital so he must be ok, he has to be.'

Once they reached the University's parking lot, Hiro stopped in front of his motorbike and gave one of the helmets to Eiri. He strapped the other on and sat on the bike. Eiri got on behind him and held onto Hiro loosely, he didn't even seem to notice what was going on, just did everything mechanically.

"Hold tight, wouldn't want you to fall off." Eiri responded by tightening his grip slightly but that was it. Hiro sighed and started the engine; he'd just have to be careful. He was sure that Shuichi would never forgive him if he killed Eiri.

After weaving in and out of the cars for almost half an hour, they arrived at the hospital. Hiro hated hospitals, they held bad memories. He only hoped that Shuichi hadn't woken yet, if he woke alone in a hospital Hiro didn't know what would happen.

He asked Eiri which room Shuichi was in but he didn't know, so Hiro asked a receptionist who gave them crap directions and they ended up in the maternity ward. Hiro sweat dropped but Eiri didn't seem to notice. After more exploring they finally found the right ward.

Hiro carefully opened the door to Shuichi's room. A nurse was leaning over the form on the bed so he couldn't see his friend. She turned around and smiled at them.

"Hello, may I help you?"

"This is the room of Shindou Shuichi, right?" She nodded.

"Are you friend or family?"

"Friend."

"I'm afraid that he hasn't woken up yet, we don't know when he will wake. He lost a lot of blood and his body needs time to recover. The person who bought him in did a good job bringing him so fast. If they'd waited a few minutes longer he would have died. He's still in a critical condition, but we managed to stop the bleeding. So please be careful. And talk to him, I'm sure a familiar voice will help." She smiled and left. It was then Hiro got his first look at the boy in the bed, almost unrecognizable, so pale only the pink hair told him who it was. Hiro choked on a sob at the back of his throat.

"What happened?" Eiri stepped closer but seemed to afraid to come too near the bed.

"He slit his wrists. I don't know why, I...I should have done more. I should have seen it, I should have stopped him." Eiri said all this so quietly that Hiro barely heard him. He sounded like he was still trying to process what had happened. Hiro gently brushed Shuichi hair and looked at all the tubes in his body; he had a drip going to one arm, other wires connected to him to monitor his pulse and such. Hiro hated hospitals, hated seeing people looking so weak and helpless. He saw Shuichi's wrists wrapped in white and saw a few fresh cuts up on arm that hadn't been covered. He was so pale, like a ghost. His pink hair looked out of place on his white body. Hiro gently took the boy's hand, but it was so cold. He had to stop himself shuddering. He could still see Eiri's shadow standing behind him. He gritted his teeth and turned around to face the man.

"Well, go sit by him. Hold his hand talk to him. Just do something other than just standing there!" Eiri flinched slightly but didn't come closer.

"But..."

"Look, it's not your fault. He's cut himself before. I thought he'd stopped, but I guess it's hard to. He's been through a lot and he needs someone he knows to be there."

"He has you." Hiro smiled.

"I know that he'd rather you be there," Hiro tried not to laugh at the way Eiri's eyes widened. He stepped aside to let Eiri stand near the bed, but still the man didn't move. He rolled his eyes and grabbed Eiri by the arm and guided him to the bedside and set him down in the chair.

"Now talk to him. Tell him everything's okay, tell him about the weather if you want. I'll go get us a coffee." Hiro left and the room fell into a silence, the bleeping of the heart monitor making the only sound. Eiri still felt as though it was deceiving him, giving him hope when there was none. He gently took Shuichi hand in his own, it was so cold, like a block of ice.

"Shuichi," he said softly, afraid to make to much noise, "It's me. Sorry about running out on you, but...I just could see you like that. So pale, I was so scared you were going to die." He squeezed Shuichi's hand tighter.

"Don't scare me like that ever again okay? And please wake up soon, I want to see your eyes again. You have beautiful eyes..."

Hiro stood outside the door, listening carefully to what Eiri was saying. He smiled slightly and began to walk to the parking lot. He didn't think that Eiri would even notice he'd left. He should tell the University what was going on.

Hiro stood outside the head's office, nervously twiddling his thumbs. Even when you hadn't done anything wrong, going to see the head teacher was nerve wracking. Hiro swore the head was making him wait on purpose, just to make him sweat. Hiro screwed his face in concentration, trying to keep the picture of Shuichi on the bed out of his mind. He'd managed to keep a cool exterior in front of Eiri, but now he was finding it harder and harder. He wanted more than anything to be there by his friend's side, but he knew that Eiri would do a much better job of taking care of Shuichi; even if he didn't want to admit it he knew it and it annoyed the hell out of him.

The buzz of the phone interrupted his thoughts and the sectaries cheerful voice cut through the silent air. The conversation was short and as soon as she was finished she smiled at Hiro.

"You may go in now." Hiro nodded his thanks and opened the door.

The room was fairly big for an office; the head sat behind a huge wooden desk that looked too dig for him and the big black chair he sat in added to the ominous feeling. Hiro gulped slightly but the man smiled kindly at him.

"May I help you, Nakano-San?"

"Last night Shuichi Shindou cut his wrists. He's now in a hospital," Hiro said bluntly. He couldn't think of any other way to put it. The head's eyes widened.

"What's his condition?"

"The nurse said he was in a critical condition but they've managed to stop the bleeding. Right now he's in a coma." The head nodded.

"I'll inform his teachers and call the hospital, Nakano-San, if you would like to take some time off to be with your friend I'll understand."

Hiro shook his head.

"Eiri Yuki would, though, and could you please send someone to clean the mess in their dorm." The head nodded again and Hiro left.

Hiro walked outside and sat in the cool air. He couldn't face class and he couldn't get Shuichi out of his mind. Why had he done this? If Eiri should have seen it, he definitely should have. Over the past few days Shuichi had become more and more distant until he barely looked at anyone, he seemed detached from the world. Hiro sighed as he leaned back and lay down on the grass. He closed his eyes as the sun light assaulted them and let the breeze caress his body. He wasn't sure if it was the sun or tears that caused the sudden heat on his cheeks. He wanted to think it was the former but an annoying voice at the back of his mind laughed at how stupid he was being. He draped an arm over his face to hide his eyes. He bit his lip to crush any sound of sobs that tried to escape.

"Shuichi, why...?"

He heard a sudden rush of voices as a sea of students poured from the doors. Hiro was slightly startled by how quickly the time had passed but he took no notice, and continued to lie on the grass. He heard footstep approach but thought they would just pass.

"Hiro?" He removed his arm and saw Suguru standing over him. He smiled weakly.

"Hey, Fujisaki. What'd I miss in class?" Suguru looked a bit annoyed as he frowned.

"Where were you? I was worried, you didn't turn up to class and there was no answer in your dorm."

"Sorry to worry you. I had to pay a visit to the hospital. Shuichi cut his wrists last night." He sniffed slightly trying to hold back the sobs that were fighting to escape. Suguru stood there, shocked. He and Shuichi had struck up a friendship, even though the pink haired boy didn't talk much. He slowly sat down next to Hiro.

"Is he ok?" Hiro's faced looked pained as if he was trying to hold in his grief.

"I don't know. He's alive...but he's in a coma...and...I just don't know," he choked and couldn't fool himself anymore as he felt a fresh torrent of tears fall from his eyes. He heard Suguru shift slightly near him and felt the younger one's arm wrap around him and pull him close. Comfort, it was something Hiro hadn't accepted for years. Shuichi had always been a priority, but now being in the warmth of Suguru's embrace made him realize how much he'd missed it. Suguru gently stroked Hiro's hair, his hand getting tangled in the long strands, but he didn't tug or pull at them or cause Hiro any pain, just slowly untangled his hand and continued. Hiro buried his head in the crook of Suguru's neck and cried, cried the tears he'd been holding back all day. Suguru didn't say a word, just held him tight letting him cry.

When Hiro felt his tears dry up he slowly sat up, not wanting to leave the warm embrace but feeling rather embarrassed by being held by the younger boy. Suguru smiled at him.

"Feel better now," Hiro nodded slowly and sighed.

"Sorry for getting you all wet."

"No problem," Suguru said a smile in his voice, "I'm always here if you need to talk, ok." Hiro smiled and nodded thankfully.

They sat for a while longer in silence, watching the sea thin as students went back to their classes or to the library to study. Suguru stayed by Hiro's side even though they were supposed to be in music class. Even though they didn't talk, Hiro was glad for the company.

Eiri kicked the door shut and stumbled over to the sofa. He'd been kicked out of the hospital an hour earlier by a bossy nurse saying visiting hours were over. He hadn't had the energy to fight back and Shuichi didn't look like he was going to wake up any time soon so he went for a walk round the park and then came home. He stared at the black TV screen, thoughts flying so fast through his head he didn't have time to process them. Everything seemed to lean to Shuichi. He hadn't wanted to leave the boys side yet, hadn't wanted to leave.

Shuichi had never been loud or annoying, he didn't even talk, but the dorm felt deadly silent without him. Shuichi had been like a ray of light when he was around, the small smiles he gave Eiri were enough to make him smile the rest of the day. The feel of his small frame and warmth in his arms felt so comforting; he never wanted to let Shuichi go. He loved to hold the boy so close that he could feel his heart beat against his own, he loved it when the arms wrapped around him pulling him closer, he loved listening to Shuichi play the guitar, he loved just being around Shuichi. Shuichi brought so many different colours to Eiri's dull life that without him the world had returned to its colourless shade for him. He closed his eyes again as he felt the tears sting; he shouldn't have any more tears left. He'd already cried enough, but it seem his body was using every once of fluid to cry until he was dry.

He stood up and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. He hadn't had anything to drink all day and his head was pounding. He noticed the floor sparkling white with no trace of blood but didn't stop to think to long on it. It was irrelevant. All he needed worry about now was Shuichi, but he was so scared, terrified. He was afraid to lose Shuichi. He'd somehow taken for granted that things would stay the same forever, he hadn't thought beyond the end of university. He also figured out that he didn't mind staying with Shuichi forever. In fact, it would be bliss to stay with the boy forever, holding him tight.

But what was this feeling? A strong friendship? Protectiveness? Love? He sighed as he fell onto the couch again. He couldn't fool himself anymore. He loved Shuichi, the pain in his heart right now told him as much, but he was afraid, afraid to love again in case he was hurt again. He knew Shuichi would never hurt him, but he could hurt Shuichi. He'd already failed to spot Shuichi's downward spiral, failed to stop the attempted suicide.

But he couldn't tell Shuichi, there was no way to show the boy his feelings. He was to fragile, and his past still haunted him. Eiri didn't know what it was about Shuichi past that scared him so, but Eiri wouldn't risk opening old wounds. He was content just to be in Shuichi's company. He prayed the boy would wake soon. If he didn't, Eiri didn't know how he could live without him. Deciding that sitting in front of a blank TV wouldn't do any good, Eiri decided to try and get some work done.

Stumbling into the bed room he didn't bother putting the light on but went straight to his desk were the laptop lay closed. Slumping like jelly into the chair he turned on the lap top and sat tapping his fingers on the desk as he waited for it to load. By the faint light from the screen he saw something glitter. His hands gently closed around it and he lifted it close to his face. It was the ring; he smiled at it as he turned it around his fingers, watching it glitter like a star in the tiny light. It had been in his family for generations, he still remembered when his mother wore it, before... He sighed as he let his head drop to the desk. His mother had died in a car accident about a year after giving birth to Tatsuha, Eiri couldn't say he missed her since he barely even remembered her (ok in this time zone type think Tatsuha is 18 and Eiri is about 20, I don't think I mention their ages anywhere,. I better check though Oo Anyhow his mom died when he was 3 so he wouldn't remember much ne? ne?). He still remembered a few things, though. How she used to smile, the smell of her perfume, and the ring glittering like a star on her finger. Then his father had to give it to that bitch Ayaka, Eiri hadn't had a choice.

The computer made that little musical sound to show it was fully loaded and Eiri opened his current piece. He'd been given a break from writing since he needed to concentrate on school work, but he still liked to write, it was his way of unwinding. When he was in a foul mood he could take it out on the poor defenceless characters. He smiled slightly, thinking of what he could do to his current character, but then a vision of the snow white Shuichi surrounded by white popped into his mind. His hands hovered above the keyboard at a loss. Shuichi, his attention was caught again by the ring. Wondering what it would look like on Shuichi's small hand, he smiled slightly. He knew now, maybe known it all along that he cared for the boy deeply, loved him, wanted to stay with him forever and find out everything about him.

He felt his heart ache again as he thought of Shuichi in the hospital. The only colour in that room had been Shuichi's hair, everything else was an impossibly clean white. He hunted through the drawers until he found a small box to keep the ring in. He then dropped the box in the drawer and shut it away from view, out of sight out of mind. His fingers went back to the keyboard, but the words wouldn't come. He yanked the drawer open again so violently that it was sent flying halfway across the room, dropping the contents in an arch. He cursed loudly and retrieved the drawer and everything in it, but he didn't find what he'd been looking for. He growled and sat back in the chair, he needed a cigarette. He'd been trying to give up but he needed the nicotine to calm his frazzled nerves.

So now he couldn't torture his characters and couldn't even have a smoke. He was too tired to go to the shop and his car was somewhere, still in the hospital's parking lot or towed. Whatever, he didn't really care at the moment.

So he decided to open a new document, a blank page, a canvas for new ideas. His fingers started dancing over the keys, but the words didn't seem to be doing the normal function of registering in his brain before he typed them. His fingers now had a life of their own, listening to the call of the words, bringing them to life. He stared blankly at the page, not really taking any notice of what he was writing. Images of Shuichi kept popping in his mind and he wrote faster. After ten minutes he was finished. The piece wasn't very long, it wasn't even a story. Eiri raised an eyebrow as he read over what he'd written. It made no sense and yet made perfect sense, which in its self made no sense. Damn now he was getting a migraine. He saved his work and shut down the computer. It wasn't particularly late but he felt drained and just wanted to go asleep and escape.

_Dream_

_He was drowning in crimson, the sea getting more and more violent by the second. The vivid red stained the sky, his hair, his skin, everything. He tried to swim against the strong current that tried to drag him under, tried to pull him away from the one he was trying to reach. The one who he knew was only a breath away, if only he could get a little closer he could reach out and grab the form floating on the violent sea like drift wood. He had to reach the form and grab him or else he'd lose him forever, but the current was too strong. It pulled at him like hundreds of hands, wrapping around him and dragging him away. He had to reach that person, the one beyond his reach, he had to reach Shuichi. He felt the current getting stronger, angrier, as it tugged at him. He was completely covered by the crimson sea now. Shuichi was no where to be seen, he'd lost him..._

_dream end_

"SHUICHI!" Eiri screamed sitting up in bed. He was still soaked from the sea, or from cold sweat. He shuddered slightly as the sight of the small body being pulled and rocked by the sea like a little dingy, going away from him. He shook his head to try and rid himself of the image, but it was burned into his memory. He slipped out of bed and stripped out of his wet clothes and headed for the bathroom.

He let the water run down his body and let out a sigh as he felt his muscles relax. He leaned against the wall of the shower, his hair sticking to his face. He lifted his head and let the water beat at his face. He tried to get the image out of his mind. He thought of something else, anything else: fluffy bunnies hopping in a field, Touma's smug smirk (now that was just scary), Ayaka (that was even worse), stick to the bunnies. And so Eiri filled his head full of thoughts of cute fluffy bunnies hopping around, yes, he needed help.

He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his middle. He then got some clean bed clothes and went to sit on the couch. He wasn't tired any more, and besides if he was awake that dream couldn't come back, he couldn't see the crimson sea taking Shuichi away... Damn think of the bunnies, THE BUNNIES!

He let his head fall back onto the back of the sofa and stared at the ceiling. It was very interesting really, stained a horrible yellow from cigarette smoke. He tried to make pictures out of the yellow. If he squinted, that looked like a cup, and turning his head this way, it looked like a car. Yes, this was fun.

Eiri closed his eyes. He was seriously losing it, and no matter how much he tried not to think about it him, every thought seemed to end with Shuichi, It was hopeless. If that damn nurse hadn't thrown him out, he would still be by Shuichi's side. What if the boy woke up with no one there? What if something happened? He tensed again. He really wanted to be with Shuichi now, he made a mental note to set his alarm extra early so he could get to the hospital as soon as visiting hours started.

Two people sat on the sofa in the dark, the only light from the flickering TV. It shone on the two figures, lighting up the short green hair of the smallest one. A tall dark-haired man leaned against him, his long dark hair falling everywhere. His eye were closed and his breathing deep and even, his chest gently rising and falling as he slept.

The smallest one's hand was currently running through the oldest ones hair in a soothing action, _letting_ the strands fall through his fingers. Trails of tears were apparent on both their cheeks, more apparent on the dark-haired one.

They had talked for hours, Hiro getting everything off his chest. How he felt seeing Shuichi in that hospital bed, how it tore him up inside knowing he hadn't been there for his friend. Suguru was now finally able to cry, cry for both of his friends.

He was worried about both of them, he didn't know the full extent of Shuichi's condition, didn't know if he would pull through or not. And he was worried about Hiro. How long had he been holding in his feelings, his own pain to be strong for Shuichi? He didn't know, but he would make sure those days were over. He would be there for Hiro, a shoulder to cry on, someone to confide in, a friend.

He smiled as the man shifted slightly in his sleep, snuggling closer to Suguru's warmth. It felt nice, he had to admit. Suguru had never been this close to someone, just holding them. He felt his heart beating faster and his face flushing, he was probably hotter than he should be too but the butterflies fluttered in his stomach pleasantly. He was content.

He sighed as he slouched in the comfortable sofa a bit, resting his cheek on top of Hiro's head. He would be there for Hiro, he would be Hiro's strength because he loved him, even if Hiro loved someone else.

Lonely tears fell onto dark hair unnoticed.

Hiro awoke feeling stiff but warm. He also felt something not so light resting on top of him. Opening his eyes, he saw a mop of green hair. Wait, green hair. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what had happened last night. He'd been upset, Fujisaki had been there to listen to him, they'd gone back to Fujisaki's dorm to talk privately, and then he must have fallen asleep. He felt guilty for doing that, keeping Fujisaki up and making him sleep on the sofa, it can't have been comfortable. They were lying down with their legs dangling off the sofa, as if they'd been sitting down then fallen over sideways, which they probably had. Hiro needed to stretch, his body screamed for it. Gently, he gathered the smaller form into his arms then laid him on the sofa in a more comfortable position. He stretched every part of his body he could, trying to unknot the tense muscles. He sighed as he felt his body relax slightly and headed for the bathroom

Suguru had a single dorm so it was smaller than others, but it also felt cosier. He found the bathroom easily enough, it was always the second door in every dorm. After washing and brushing his hair, he returned to the living are to find Suguru still asleep. He smiled and decided to let him sleep a little longer, he looked to peaceful and cute.

Hiro went to the kitchen to make breakfast for them (I'm too lazy to think of any Japanese foods he can cook for breakfast and there's no cereal left, so lets say he cooked something breakfasty). The food was coming along nicely; the aroma now filled the kitchen and made his stomach rumble. It was a simple recipe and shouldn't take much longer to cook. He went back to the living room to see Suguru sitting up, stretching his arms above his head.

"Morning," he said in between yawns. His hair was all messed and he raised a hand to cover his yawn. With one eye closed with the force of the yawn, he looked like a small child who'd just woken from a nap. Hiro decided it should be illegal to look so cute in the morning, especially when he always looked so terrible. His hair was the worst. It always managed to go in every direction, left, right, up, sideways, but never down.

He felt a sudden urge to hug Suguru but he shook the strange though out of his head.

"Breakfast's nearly ready, sleepyhead," he said cheerfully, Suguru looked at him, confused for a second, before registering what he'd said. He nodded and followed Hiro to the kitchen.

Shortly after, they were sitting at the small island and eating a delicious breakfast. Suguru was now awake and his hair organised. 'Shame', Hiro had thought but hadn't said anything out loud.

"Are you going to go visit Shuichi today?" The green-haired boy broke Hiro from his trance. He nodded.

"I think I'll go in for a few hours. I only have an evening class today. You wanna come," Suguru nodded.

"I don't have any classes so I'm free all day."

Eiri hadn't gotten much sleep that night but he was still up bright and early. He ate a quick breakfast of toast and headed for the hospital. Catching the bus was hell and he decided he really needed to find out what had happened to his car.

He found Shuichi's room easily and silently sneaked in. It wasn't quite visiting hours yet so he didn't want to get caught. He walked up to Shuichi's bed and took the seat that stood were he'd left it.

"Hey, Shuichi. I'm back." He took the boy's hand and squeezed it briefly to assure the boy he was there.

"Sorry I couldn't stay last night. That nurse chased me out, I swear. She was scary though, she looked like she could knock me out easily." He gently brushed the boy's hair with his fingers. It still felt like silk and flowed like water through his fingers.

"When are you planning on waking up, huh? Everyone's worried about you. I'm really worried about you, I miss you. The dorm's too quiet without you there. I know that sounds strange but it's true, its just not the same. Ne, promise you'll wake up soon, okay?" He still held the boys hand, talking softly to him about everything and nothing.

Suguru and Hiro walked through the corridors looking, for Shuichi's room. Hiro was lost again but wouldn't admit it and Suguru chuckled from behind the huge bouquet of flowers he held. He asked Hiro what Shuichi's favourite flowers were. Hiro had just looked blank and shrugged and so Suguru decided to buy a small bunch of every flower in the florist and have them put together in a huge pungent bouquet, the smell was almost overpowering from so many flowers. It left and almost visible trail behind them that would most likely linger, and Suguru would probably smell of the flowers for weeks since he was currently a walking bouquet. Only his eyes were just about visible over the top of the bright flowers so he could see where he was going. Hiro had offered to carry the flowers but Suguru had politely refused, saying that Hiro needed to see where they were going clearly since he was the one who knew were Shuichi's room was, or at least should. But the hospital was so fast and there were so many wards, rooms, corridors. Well, that was Hiro's excuse.

After walking around what felt like the entire the hospital they finally reach their destination. Hiro pushed the door open triumphantly.

"See I told you I knew were I was going," he said. Eiri looked up briefly, firing a greeting at them before returning to Shuichi. Suguru set the flowers down on the bedside table.

"I'll go get a vase for the flowers. Er…maybe I should get two," Suguru said, finally noticing how vast the bouquet really was.

"What did he do, buy the entire florist?" Eiri asked. Hiro laughed.

"Pretty much." He took another chair and sat on the opposite side of the bed to Eiri.

"Any change?" Eiri shook his head.

"The nurse said he had another blood transfusion last night. She said it should be the last one. The cuts are healing slowly but they can stitch them, so the bandages need changing regularly. He hasn't shown any sign of waking though."

Hiro frowned again. He would get wrinkles at this rate. Suguru came back with the vases and put the flowers in water; he then took a chair and sat next to Hiro. They all talked to Shuichi about lessons, about anything really. Hiro bought out a CD player and all the Nittle Grasper CDs he could carry. He let is play in the background as they talked.

Shuichi still looked so pale, but now looked an off grey colour instead of deathly white, which was an improvement but it didn't cheer them up much. Hiro had to leave not long after to get to his afternoon English class, Suguru decided to go with him and so they left, the CD playing in the background and Eiri's gentle voice the only sound in the room.

K was kind enough not to shoot at Hiro for being late; he'd probably heard what had happened. Hiro sat down quietly in his seat, lost in thought. He didn't even notice when class ended and everyone left, leaving him on his own. A tap on his head bought him back to reality.

"Nakano-San, I know you enjoy my lessons but I don't think you want to stay here all night." Hiro looked blankly at the American, trying to remember why he was here. Oh yes a lesson. Shit.

"Gomen, I was just thinking too much, gomen," he said again as he stood up, bowing apologetically. K grinned.

"No need to be so formal. I know what happened with Shindou-San. You must be really worried about your friend." Hiro looked up into the face of the American. His dark glasses had been taken off revealing kind blue eyes that had a manic glint to them.

"You know, Hiro, you shouldn't bottle things up. No wonder you space out all the time, if you need to talk to someone anytime I'll be here okay? I'm not as scary as I look." He winked and smiled again. Hiro just nodded, transfixed by the eyes. They were standing close, very close. K was leaning against his desk and Hiro stood about half a foot away from him. His vision blurred slightly and he didn't understand why until a hankie was placed in his hands. He was crying again. Not the sobs that shook his body and rattle his soul, but quiet, silent tears of grief, confusion, worry. He stepped forward slightly and let his head fall onto the American's shoulder, not really thinking, just wanting to be close to someone and feel comforted.

K gently patted his back, rubbing up and down, trying to sooth the younger man. Neither said a word for a while until Hiro felt his tears dry up. He sniffed and let his head linger on the American's shoulder for a second longer. He loved feeling so close to the man, he'd been able to smell the man's aftershave, and his long blond hair had tickled his nose.

He smiled weakly at K and muttered an apology. K just grinned back. They were still very close and Hiro found himself drawn to the man lips like a magnet, he didn't even notice as he moved closer to the man, the only thing that told him he'd moved at all was the fell of lips against his own. He felt the man tense and freeze as he kissed him. K seemed unable to move, unsure of what to do.

He wasn't kissing back, Hiro realized as if he had expected it. 'He's horrified, he... He could never love me, why...why am I such an idiot?' The kiss that seemed to last and age but only lasted a few second stopped and Hiro pulled back, a look of horror and surprise on both their faces.

"G...g...gomen," he stuttered as he walked backwards, stumbling slightly looking at the floor, letting his long hair hide his face. He reached the door and flung it open, running outside as tears once again began to stream down his face.

He'd had enough of crying, always crying. He should be strong, strong for Shuichi, but Shuichi didn't need him any more. This realization stung him hard and he wrapped his arms around his body as he ran in an attempt to comfort himself.

He was such a fool to think he could find love and be loved. He always fell for the wrong person.

"Baka," he chanted to himself as he ran away from K and the memory of the mans lips on his.

K stood staring at the spot Hiro had occupied. His hand slowly moved to his lips. They still felt warm from after the other man lips had brush against his.

Well, he hadn't expected that. Now, how to solve the problem.

**Chapter 9 End.**

Well minna-san, did you enjoy that? I hope so n.n

The next chapter may take longer to come out as its realy long so it'll take longer to beta,i hopethe longness will make up for any delay.

Remember, reviews are my energy, the more reviews the more i write XP

Thank you all, till next chapter.


	11. Chapte 10 preview

IM ALIVE! Im so sorry it's taking so long to get this chapter out, school is a killer. This is only part of chapter 10, something off an offering, i hope the real chapter 10 will be put soon, its currently being betad. But Kolie has had some problems with her comp and such. So if you want a betad chapter you'll have to wait, or you can has a chapter unbetaed and riddlesd with eroors. I only spell checked this part of the chapter so if you see any mistakes please ignore them.

I promis Shuichi will wake up in chapter 11. I sware it. So i hope that'll cheer you up.

Thank you everyone whos been reviewing, you review have just blowen me away, i love you all.

And one more promis, i promis i will finish this story, there may be delays now and then, but it will get finished. Summer holidays soon woo hoo

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Hiro sat on the edge of the fountain skimming his fingertips over the surface of the water, causing the glassy surface to ripple, making his reflection look like an abstract painting. He liked the way his reflection looked now, so he continued to run his fingers over the water, he knew if he stopped he would see a reflection he didn't like. Eyes red and puffy, lips red from were he'd been biting them, chewing them thoughtfully. He would see his face, his stupid idiot face.

Why had he kissed him? Why? It made no sense to him, sure Hiro felt an attraction towards the man, he intrigued him, Hiro wanted to be close to the man find out more about him.

It all started when K had stood so close to Hiro that he could feel the warmth radiate off the man, then he'd started to cry. All the emotions of the past few days catching up on him. Then he'd stood closer, resting his head against the firm chest. He'd felt somehow relived then, being able to cry, just cry silently. And K had gently patter his back, like a parent comforting its child. And Hiro had just wanted to feel that comfort, but he wanted to be closer, warmer. And before the though was even processed by his brain he'd kissed his teacher. Damn.

A green blur had joined the abstract painting, that hadn't been there before. He stilled his had and let the water return to its still form. Reflected in it now was his face in sharp detail, and the green blur behind him was Suguru, just who he didn't want to see. He didn't want the boy to see him like this again, so he said nothing, just stared at the boys reflection hoping he'd leave but also hoping he'd stay.

The reflection grew bigger as the boy moved closer and he sat down next to Hiro on the edge of the fountain not saying a word, just staring into the water like Hiro was. They sat in silence for a while and Hiro started to feel nervous, he could feel Suguru watching him out the corner of his eye waiting for him to say something. Hiros fingers started to skate nervously over the water again distorting their reflections. He heard Suguru sigh and finally he spoke.

"Wanna talk about it?" Hiro said nothing, not relay sure of the answer. He was startled out of his train of though as he was splashed with ice cold water, he spluttered slightly and looked up to Sugurus face which was smiling at him, eyes alight with laughter.

"Well that got your attention."

Hiro just glared at the boy, but he gave up after a few seconds, it was hard to glare at someone who was laughing at you.

"I kissed him."

Suguru raised an eyebrow, surprised that Hiro actually spoke.

"Who?"

"K-sensei."

Sugurus eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw almost hit the water, it was a comical sight and Hiro couldn't help but chuckle. There was also a shadow in the boys eyes, saddness?

After picking up his jaw and composing his features into a serious expression the boy spoke again.

"Awkward," Suguru stared thoughtfully at the water, "did he kiss you back?"

Hiro shook his head. Suguru regarded him thoughtfully.

"Do you love him?" Hiros hand stopped, his whole body tensed and he took on the look of a statue, eyes emotionless, face not giving anything away.

"I... i don't know," Hiros shoulders slumped in defeat, "i thought i did, i was always thinking about him, i was always watching him. But...it didn't feel how i though it would, there was...nothing there. Nothing." he whispered as his hands continued its dance over the water.

Suguru stayed were he was, starring at his reflection, Hiro was glad, he didn't need pity right now.

"If you want, i'll come with you when you go talk to him," Hiro froze again.

"I...i can't." he said pathetically.

"You have to, at least say sorry, you still have another few years left in his class, do you want it to be awkward all the time?" Hiros shoulders slumped again. Suguru had too much common sense for a teenager.

He had a point, a horribly sharp, clear, unavoidable point. He had to talk to K. After all he did have another 4 years left. They would be hell if he didn't make some sort of amends with the teacher. But where to begin?

"Hey lets go get a drink or something, take your mind off things."

Hiro smiled slightly, trying to imagine Suguru drunk, somehow he couldn't imagine it, "Your underage." Hiro said quietly, Suguru scowled.

(I did my research, the legal drinking age in Japan is 20, but you can get drinks from vending machines on any street so how they manage to enforce the law is beyond me.)

"So are you," Suguru retorted, "no one needs to know that anyway." Hiro laughed, he hadn't seen this side of the boy before, he kind of liked it. He was showing his teenage side for once.

"I can't...i'd feel...bad. Going out and having fun with Shuichi in the hospital and now this."

"Then pretend your someone else, just for tonight," Suguru smiled "forget everytihng."

Hiro still looked reluctant. But a part of him wanted to go. Forgetting his problems, for one night, seemed tempting.

"All right lets go," he jumpped to his feet and took long purpasfull strides. Trying to look more confident than he was. He looked at Suguru to make sure the boy was following him, he seriously doubted the boy would pass for 20, hell even he could just about pass for 20, if worst came to worst they could just get some drinks from a vending machine and go back to one of their dorms to drink.

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Tokyo was beautiful in the mid afternoon, its was like the calm before the storm, people rushing home from staying late at work and a few early parties graced its streets. Hiro knew it would get rather hectic soon as students, and other young people who inhabited the city and surrounding areas poured into it for the night life.

The streets were still packed though but there was a calmness to the people.

The first place they tried was a rather posh looking club, Hiro didn't even know why they bothered to try there, it looked like a members only affair. But they walked up to the door confidently. The guard just eyed them suspiciously, as soon as he laid eyes on Suguru, Hiro swore the man stared to laugh.

"Passes?" he asked politely around his chuckles, Suguru seemed oblivious. Hiro just smiled and walked away. There relay hadn't been any point in trying.

They walked around a bit longer, trying different bars and clubs but each time someone lay eyes on Suguru they were politely refused entry. After trying ten different places Hiro was starting to get annoyed, his craving for a drink had been growing and growing and now he was ready to kill anybody that stood in his way to get it.

They reached a karaoke bar and Hiro yelled in triumph, anyone could use the karaoke, you just had to be old enough to buy the drinks there. And Hiro felt confident he could easily pass for 20, if not he hopped his charms would do the trick. He grab Sugurus arm and dragged him into the place a manic glint in his eye. He relay wanted to get wasted tonight and forget everything.

The small woman behind the desk seemed to be taking a nap and woke with a start when Hiro and Suguru burst through the doors, well Hiro burst through the doors, Suguru was dragged.

She looked a bit reluctant to give them a room, but she could hardly refuse customers, so she took their money and gave them a key to one of the karaoke rooms.

Their room was on the top floor and gave a great view of the city. There were bean bags and other small puffy chairs covering every space possible. A karaoke machine nestled in the corner a tv next to it where the lyric would appear. Suguru slouched into one of the bean bags gratefully and sighed. The walls were covered in odd material that looked like something you'd find in a white padded room but they were probably there to sound proof the room. He offered a smile to Hiro but the other man was already halfway to the door.

"Going to get drink, be right back," he said cheerfully before leaving Suguru alone. The boy sighed and let his head flop back so he was half lying down staring at the ceiling.

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Ok thats the end of this little preview. I might add more later, but hopefully the betad chapter will be ready soon. Well i'll see you all later. Please send your get well soon card to Shuichi, im sure he'll apreiciate it.


	12. Karaoke Chapter 10

PLEASE READ! PLEASE READ! PLEASE READ! PLEASE READ!

Ok this is the FULL chapter ten, the last chapter was just part of chapter ten, this is chapter 10 in its full glory betad and spell checked and such. Hope you enjoy.

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Hiro sat on the edge of the fountain skimming his fingertips over the surface of the water, causing the glassy surface to ripple, making his reflection look like an abstract painting. He liked the way his reflection looked now, so he continued to run his fingers over the water because he knew if he stopped he would see a reflection he didn't like. Eyes red and puffy, lips red from were he'd been biting and chewing them thoughtfully. He would see his face. His stupid idiot face.

Why had he kissed him? Why? It made no sense to him. Sure, Hiro felt an attraction towards the man, he intrigued him. Hiro wanted to be close to the man find out more about him.

It all started when K had stood so close to Hiro that he could feel the warmth radiate off the man. Then he'd started to cry, all the emotions of the past few days catching up on him. Then he'd stood closer, resting his head against the firm chest. He'd felt somehow relived then, being able to cry, just cry silently. And K had gently patted his back, like a parent comforting its child. And Hiro had just wanted to feel that comfort, but he wanted to be closer, warmer. And, before the thought was even processed by his brain, he'd kissed his teacher. Damn.

A green blur had joined the abstract painting. Now that hadn't been there before. He stilled his hand and let the water return to its still form. Reflected in it now was his face in sharp detail, and the green blur behind him was Suguru, just who he didn't want to see. He didn't want the boy to see him like this again, so he said nothing. He just stared at the boy's reflection, hoping he'd leave but also hoping he'd stay.

The reflection grew bigger as the boy moved closer, and he sat down next to Hiro on the edge of the fountain, not saying a word, just staring into the water like Hiro was. They sat in silence for a while and Hiro started to feel nervous, he could feel Suguru watching him out the corner of his eye, waiting for him to say something. Hiro's fingers started to skate nervously over the water again, distorting their reflections. He heard Suguru sigh and finally he spoke.

"Wanna talk about it?" Hiro said nothing, not really sure of the answer. He was startled out of his train of thought as he was splashed with ice cold water. He spluttered slightly and looked up to Suguru's face which was smiling at him, eyes alight with laughter.

"Well that got your attention."

Hiro just glared at the boy, but he gave up after a few seconds. It was hard to glare at someone who was laughing at you.

"I kissed him."

Suguru raised an eyebrow, surprised that Hiro actually spoke.

"Who?"

"K-sensei."

Suguru's eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw almost hit the water. It was a comical sight and Hiro couldn't help but chuckle. There was also a shadow in the boy's eyes. Was it…sadness?

After picking up his jaw and composing his features into a serious expression, the boy spoke again.

"Awkward," Suguru stared thoughtfully at the water. "Did he kiss you back?"

Hiro shook his head. Suguru regarded him thoughtfully.

"Do you love him?" Hiro's hand stopped, his whole body tensed, and he took on the look of a statue, eyes emotionless, face not giving anything away.

"I...I don't know," Hiro's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I thought I did. I was always thinking about him, I was always watching him, but…it didn't feel how I thought it would. There was...nothing there. Nothing," he whispered as his hands continued their dance over the water.

Suguru stayed were he was, staring at his reflection. Hiro was glad. He didn't need pity right now.

"If you want, I'll come with you when you go talk to him." Hiro froze again.

"I...I can't," he said pathetically.

"You have to at least say sorry. You still have another few years left in his class. Do you want it to be awkward all the time?" Hiro's shoulders slumped again. Suguru had too much common sense for a teenager.

He had a point, a horribly sharp, clear, unavoidable point. He had to talk to K. After all, he did have another four years left. They would be hell if he didn't make some sort of amends with the teacher. But where to begin?

"Hey! Let's go get a drink or something, take your mind off things."

Hiro smiled slightly, trying to imagine Suguru drunk. Somehow he couldn't. "You're underage," Hiro said quietly. Suguru scowled.

(I did my research, the legal drinking age in Japan is 20, but you can get drinks from vending machines on any street so how they manage to enforce the law is beyond me.)

"So are you," Suguru retorted, "and no one needs to know that anyway." Hiro laughed, he hadn't seen this side of the boy before. He kind of liked it. He was showing his teenage side for once.

"I can't...I'd feel…bad. Going out and having fun with Shuichi in the hospital and now this."

"Then pretend you're someone else, just for tonight," Suguru smiled "Forget everything."

Hiro still looked reluctant, but a part of him wanted to go. Forgetting his problems, even for just one night, was so tempting.

"All right let's go." He jumped to his feet and took long purposeful stride, trying to look more confident than he was. He looked at Suguru to make sure the boy was following him. He seriously doubted the boy would pass for twenty. Hell even he could just barely pass for twenty. If worst came to worst they could just get some drinks from a vending machine and go back to one of their dorms to drink.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tokyo was beautiful in the mid afternoon. It was like the calm before the storm, people rushing home from staying late at work and a few early parties graced its streets. Hiro knew that it would get rather hectic soon as students, and other young people who inhabited the city and surrounding areas, poured into it for the night life.

The streets were still packed but there was calmness to the people. The first place they tried was a rather posh looking club. Hiro didn't even know why they bothered to try it, it looked like a members only affair. But they walked up to the door confidently. The guard just eyed them suspiciously. As soon as he laid eyes on Suguru, Hiro swore the man started to laugh.

"Passes?" he asked politely around his chuckles. Suguru seemed oblivious. Hiro just smiled and walked away. There really hadn't been any point in trying.

They walked around a bit longer, trying different bars and clubs but each time someone lay eyes on Suguru they were politely refused entry. After trying ten different places Hiro was starting to get annoyed. His craving for a drink had been growing and growing and now he was ready to kill anybody that stood in his way to get it.

They reached a karaoke bar and Hiro yelled in triumph. Anyone could use the karaoke, you just had to be old enough to buy the drinks there. And Hiro felt confident he could easily pass for twenty, if not he hoped his charms would do the trick. He grabbed Suguru's arm and dragged him into the place, a manic glint in his eye. He really wanted to get wasted tonight and forget everything.

The small woman behind the desk seemed to be taking a nap and woke with a start when Hiro and Suguru burst through the doors. Well, when Hiro burst through the doors, Suguru was dragged.

She looked a bit reluctant to give them a room, but she could hardly refuse customers, so she took their money and gave them a key to one of the karaoke rooms.

Their room was on the top floor and gave a great view of the city. There were bean bags and other small puffy chairs covering every space possible. A karaoke machine was nestled in the corner, a television next to it where the lyrics would appear. Suguru slouched into one of the bean bags gratefully and sighed. The walls were covered in odd material that looked like something you'd find in a white padded room but they were probably there to sound proof the room. He offered a smile to Hiro but the other man was already halfway to the door.

"Going to get drinks, be right back," he said cheerfully before leaving Suguru alone. The boy sighed and let his head flop back so he was half lying down staring at the ceiling.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiro bounced into the bar happily. As he walked to the bar he composed his face into a serious expression and he composed his hair into a relatively neat appearance. As he walked up to the bar he smiled cheerfully at the bar maid. She looked about twenty-four and her black hair tumbled around her body in graceful curves and curls. Her eyes were black pools of darkness, and her small lips curled into a smile at Hiro's kind face.

"Ten beers please!" he said slapping a few yen bills onto the counter.

She raised her eyebrows curiously but seemed happy that Hiro was old enough to buy the drinks and she headed for the fridge behind the bar. She brought bottle after bottle of beer to the counter until all ten beers sat there, and she took the money and gave Hiro the change. He smiled kindly at her and gathered the bottles in his arms. He offered her a cheeky wink before going back to the karaoke room.

oooooooooooooooooo

When Hiro got back he saw Suguru shuffling through different songs until he found one suitable to sing. He smiled shyly a Hiro.

"I warn you, I can't sing very well. Keep anything glass well away from me." Hiro just laughed and fell down onto a spare bean bag, opening a beer with his teeth. He nodded a cue for Suguru to sing. Suguru just shook his head as the music started.

**Mata me atte soshite kotoba o kawashita  
Mune ga takanatte egao de kakushita  
Kimi o shiranakatta koro ni  
Modorenaku narisou de **

Suguru actually wasn't too bad, his skill in music allowed him to reach the right notes and he threw his whole heart into the song, a smile dancing across his face.

**Kaze ga mou tsumetaku natta ne  
Waraigoe ga shiroku michiru  
Wake mo naku nakete kuru no wa  
Fuyu no sei kamo shirenai  
Deatta yoru o ima demo oboeteru **

He'd started dancing along to the music of the energetic song by now, eyes sparkling. His eyes caught Hiro and he smiled, body still moving to the song.

**Mata me atte soshite kotoba o kawashita  
Mune ga takanatte egao de kakushita  
Kimi o shiranakatta koro ni  
Modorenaku narisou de **

There seemed to something behind the song too. This was Suguru was singing it, as if it were his own thoughts and feelings.

**Sukoshi zutsu shitte yuku noni  
Kyuu ni zenbu wakaranaku naru  
Sakende mo ii tsutawaru made tsutaete  
Aenai jikan ni omoi ga tsunotta  
Todokanai koe ni kokoro ga itanda  
Kimi o shiranakatta koro ni  
Modorenaku natte ita **

Hiro watched Suguru as he drank his beer, smiling at the teen's energy. Suguru looked happy and Hiro found he hadn't thought of K once yet, until then of course. He shook his head and returned his attention back to Suguru.

**Douka sonna fuu ni kanashige na hitomi de  
Kowaresou ni kiesou ni warawanai de  
Nee boku ni wa nani ga dekiru  
Aenai jikan ni omoi ga tsunotta  
Todokanai koe ni kokoro ga itanda  
Kimi o shiranakatta koro ni  
Modorenaku natte iru  
Doushite tokidoki sunao ni ienai  
Doushite tokidoki yasashiku narenai  
Doushite tokidoki kizutsuke atteru  
Doushite tokidoki tashikame atteru  
Doushite tokidoki konnani kurushii  
Doushite itsudemo konnani itoshii  
Kimi ja nakya dame de  
Kimi ja nakya dame de **

Suguru bowed as he finished his song and Hiro cheered.

"Ok your turn!" he threw the mike at Hiro.

Hiro had already drunk two beers so he totally missed the mike and it smacked him right in the face. He growled at Suguru but the boy just laughed and picked up a beer. He tried to open it with his teeth but failed miserably. Hiro shook his head and took the beer from Suguru and opened it for him. It probably wasn't the best idea to open beer bottles with his teeth but he was too lazy to go to the bar to get a bottle opener. He gave the beer back to Suguru and chose a random song.

The night passed like that, each taking turns to sing, sometimes stopping to talk. After a while Hiro made another trip to the bar and got another armful of drinks. Hiro was slowly getting more and more drunk. His vision started to blur and he slurred his words horribly. He tossed the mike to Suguru and crashed onto a nearby chair.

Suguru snatched the mike up and strode purposely towards the machine. He hadn't had as many beers as Hiro but he'd had enough to make him a bit tipsy. He giggled as he searched through the songs, trying to keep his eyes focused enough to read the titles. After selecting a song he stared at the screen, waiting for the song to start.

**I'd give anything to give me to you  
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew  
If you want me,  
Come and find me  
Nothing's stopping you so please release me **

The song was different to the songs the boy had been singing. It had a darker air and this time Hiro could tell he was throwing his whole heart and soul into the song. Suguru's eyes met Hiro's and he smiled. As the next part of the song came he closed his eyes and got lost in the music.

**I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you **

**Nothing left to make me feel anymore  
There's only you and everyday I need more  
If you want me  
Come and find me  
I'll do anything you say just tell me **

Hiro had a feeling that the song was directed at someone, but through a fuzzy haze of drunkenness he couldn't fathom it so he simple listened to the boy singing, smiling encouraging at the boy whenever their eyes met.

**I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you **

**I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you **

**Anything for you  
I'll become your earth and sky  
Forever never die  
I'll be everything you need **

Suguru grew more confident with the song, his voice getting louder as the emotion poured out of him.

**I'll believe**  
**All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you **

**I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you **

(AN: The reason I chose this song is because, like Suguru, I like someone who only sees me as a friend, and whenever I hear this song it makes me think of how I feel. The song's by Evanescence and is called "Anything for You". The song is awesome. The first song is by Ayumi Hamasaki and its called "Because of You", great song. )

As the song finished, Suguru almost collapsed. Sweat ran down his forehead and his eyes glittered from the effect of singing and alcohol. Hiro cheered loudly and Suguru bowed, giggling. They were both rather drunk and after and hour they only had one beer left between them.

Hiro practically gulped down the beer as if he hadn't drunk in ages. Suguru drank his, slowly savouring each gulp and giggling in between each swallow. The karaoke machine sat forgotten. They were beyond the ability to talk so they simply sat there, happy in each others company.

Hiro had completely forgotten about the incident with K. He'd forgotten about all his problems as the alcohol ate at his brain ,making everything delightfully fuzzy. Suguru's giggling was infectious and they were soon both laughing like idiots over nothing.

A steward came up, a man in his twenties. Suguru was sure he recognised him from the university. But he couldn't place him.

"Time's up guys," he said carefully, the drunk ones could get nasty sometimes. Hiro looked at him in confusion, as if wondering who he was and why he was here. Suguru, who'd had less to drink than Hiro, nodded and grabbed the man's arm.

"C'mon time to scat." Hiro didn't seem to want to move. He continued to stare at the man until Suguru managed to drag the man to his feet. Now to get him to walk. After much tugging Suguru persuaded Hiro to take a few steps. Hiro still stared at the man.

"I know you," he said pointing at the man, staring at him though slatted eyes.

"Yes, we go to the same university. I'm in your English class." Hiro paled at the mention of English. Memories of the empty kiss and the shame he'd felt assaulted his mind and he groaned, leaning heavily on Suguru.

Suguru only just managed to hold the heavier man upright, his legs buckled slightly. The other man smiled sympathetically at Suguru and walked to Hiro's other side to help him.

"I'll get you a cab if you like." Suguru nodded, not trusting his voice to work properly.

After stumbling out of the elevator the other man phoned a cab for them. They managed to stuff Hiro inside and the man with Suguru good luck dealing with his drunken friend. Suguru just grimaced and muttered a thanks.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Suguru stumbled through the halls, dragging the weight of the larger man. Hiro wasn't helping much. He kept muttering things and shouting out curses now and then. He dragged his feet and acted quite childish, saying he didn't want to leave and that he needed another drink. He even began whining when he realised he wasn't winning, begging Suguru to take him to some bar.

"C'mon Fujisaki, pwwweas?" Suguru just rolled his eyes, even though he was drunk he managed to gather enough of his senses to know going back out was a bad idea. He gave Hiro another shove in the side and yanked on his arm. Hiro whined pitifully and finally decided to help Suguru by walking, although he walked into a wall more often than not, at least Suguru didn't have to support the man's weight anymore.

Deciding it was better to take the drunk to his dorm, Suguru headed in that direction. Hiro didn't seem to notice, and, anyway, when asked where his keys were he gave Suguru a blank look.

Throwing open the door, Suguru took his shoes off and Hiro did the same. They didn't bother to put them neatly, just kicked them off and let them stay were they landed. Suguru felt the man's weight land on him again. He sighed as he turned to face his friend and took in a sharp breath. Hiro was crying, silent tears running rivers down his face.

"I'm such an idiot," he muttered in Suguru's shoulder. Suguru's heart went out to the man. Love could really stink, especially when you fell for the wrong person. He wrapped one arm around the man's waist and draped the man's arm over his shoulders so he could half-carry, half-drag the man to his room. He felt Hiro needed a bed more than he did.

Suguru had a small single dorm. It wasn't anything special, everything was compact and he had to be careful not to hit anything. He finally arrived at the bed room and walked in, he was about to lie the man on the bed when Suguru felt the whole of the man's weight fall on him and they both tumbled over into a heap on the bed. Suguru tried to get up but found he was pinned beneath the man's heavier form and no amount of wriggling would free him. Suguru sighed and smacked Hiro gently on the head.

"Hiro get up," he snapped angrily. No answer. Suguru frowned. "Hiro this isn't funny. Get. Up." Still no response.

"Hiiiiro," Suguru whined the alcohol still affecting him. He started to swat at Hiro as if he was an annoying fly but still the man didn't move. Suguru looked at Hiro's face and saw that he was asleep.

"Damn you," he muttered, not really meaning it. He gave Hiro one last punch before giving up. The man was in a drunken sleep and not even an atomic bomb would wake him now. So he snuggled up to his human blanket. They were both too drunk to care anyway. And Suguru was secretly happy. So he snuggled closer to the warmth of the taller man.

Suguru's head felt as if it were being beaten with a hammer and he had the sudden urge to throw up. The only reason he didn't was because he couldn't move, choking on his own vomit was not the way he planed to die. And anyway, it was so warm. He snuggled sleepily to the warmth before opening his eyes. He almost screamed when he saw Hiro's face.

"More beer," Hiro muttered in his sleep before rolling over, now pinning Suguru's arm under his body. Suguru winced but managed to take his arm back. He began to rub his limbs vigorously to try and wake them up. When he was sure he could stand without the fear of his legs going to sleep he stumbled to the bathroom. He really needed to be sick.

He stumbled to the bathroom and sank onto the floor in front of the toilet. He was glad he'd cleaned yesterday, the toilet smelled like toilet cleaner and not the smell of toilet. Although the smell of disinfectant made him want to throw up even more he decided it was better than toilet smell. He began to retch and was finally able to be sick.

After throwing up for what felt like ages, Suguru felt a little better, the pounding in his head hadn't stopped but at least he didn't feel like throwing up every five seconds. He stood with his back against the wall of the shower, letting the warm water wake his body up. He sighed as he felt the needles of water stab at his skin.

He turned his face up to meet the water and began to scrub at his hair. It felt horribly dirty and the smell of alcohol still lingered around him.

After the shower he towelled his body dry and threw on an over sized shirt and boxers, something he'd normally wear to bed but Suguru didn't feel like getting dressed, in fact he would have gone back to bed if Hiro wasn't currently in it.

Suguru walked sluggishly to the kitchen and found some hangover pills in the cupboard, he knew they'd come in handy. He swallowed them gratefully then got some ready for Hiro.

"All right sleeping beauty, get up," he said, smacking Hiro with a pillow. Hiro just rolled over away from the annoyance. Suguru growled and yanked on the man's arm trying to drag him out of bed.

"GET. UP." It was no use; Hiro was dead to the world. Suguru flopped down and sat on the bed glaring at Hiro, surprisingly it didn't work. It was then he got a wicked idea. Grinning slyly he walked out to the kitchen and poured a glass of water, making sure the water was especially cold. Then walking on tip-toe he sneaked into the bed room. Hiro had one more chance.

"Hiro, HIRO! GET UP!" No response. Well he asked for it. Sitting right next to the man, Suguru let the glass hover over Hiro for a minute before he threw the water over the man and jumped up so as to be out of the line of fire.

Hiro awoke spluttering and shouting a string of curses. Suguru watched from a safe distance, laughing his head off. That was a bad idea since his head ache came back to bug him ten fold then, but the image of Hiro's face looking utterly perplexed and soaked, hair plastered to his cheeks was just too funny.

Hiro narrowed his eyes and glared at the boy.

"What was that for?" Suguru shrugged.

"Well you wouldn't get up no matter how much I shouted at you, this was my last resort," Suguru said waving the glass. "Go have a shower and I'll get some breakfast ready." Hiro grudgingly got out of the bed and stomped to the bathroom.

"What time is it anyway?" Hiro called from the bathroom.

"3:15 PM," Suguru said putting emphasis on the pm. Hiro just groaned and climbed into the shower.

Suguru had already made breakfast by the time Hiro finished; Hiro came into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else.

"Hey, Fujisaki, can I borrow something to wear?" Suguru nodded trying not to blush but most of all trying not to stare. He tried not to show his disappointment when Hiro left and went to the bedroom.

Hiro came back wearing an oversized T-shirt Suguru normally wore for sleeping and some baggy shorts. Both were pretty big on Suguru but fitted Hiro nicely. When Hiro sat Suguru handed him a hangover pill and a glass of water. Hiro smiled gratefully, his head currently felt as if ten pneumatic drills were tap-dancing over his skull. He'd had a lot more to drink than Suguru.

A plate was pushed in Hiro's face and he felt the urge to hurl, the food looked lovely, but his stomach still felt very delicate. Suguru had already finished his breakfast and now ran his hand through his damp hair, eyes closed as if he were in great pain.

"Hangover?" Hiro chuckled. Suguru glared at him.

"Don't look at me like that, the getting-a-drink was your idea."

"I meant one or two not ten," Suguru snapped as he stood up and stormed into the living room. Hiro just laughed, he was a bad influence to Fuji-Chan. He smiled wickedly at the nickname he'd just come up with. Hiro sneaked into the living room to see Suguru sitting on the sofa glaring at the TV. Hiro snuck up behind him and drew closer until his mouth was right by Suguru's ear.

"What's the matter Fuji-Chan? Your first time getting drunk?" Hiro said in a singsong voice, Suguru yelped in surprise but then hit Hiro with a cushion.

(Interesting info: Kun is normally used for males, but when Chan is used for males it can either be a term of endearment or in teasing, right now Hiro's teasing Suguru, but you all probably knew this already.)

"Don't call me that, and yes."

Hiro just laughed again and sat next to the boy.

"Don't call you what, Fuji-Chan?" Suguru let out an inhuman roar and flew at Hiro with the little cushion.

Hiro laughed as he tried to fend off the angry teen but Suguru was surprisingly strong. Suguru managed knock both of them over and now sat on Hiro's abdomen and beating him with the cushion. Hiro held his hand up in defence. They soon both dissolved in a fit of laughter and Suguru let Hiro sit up.

"Ok, ok I think I get your point." Hiro grinned again and Suguru ignored him.

"I guess I should go talk to him," Hiro said quietly, so quietly Suguru wasn't sure if he was meant to hear. He looked at Hiro concern in his eyes but Hiro kept his attention firmly fixed on the TV.

"I'll come with you if you like." Hiro shook his head.

"Nah, I need to do this on my own, just stay here in case I need a shoulder to cry on ok." Suguru nodded offering a smile to his friend. Hiro gathered up his stuff and left, waving at Suguru as he shut the door.

The door clicked shut and Suguru was alone, he watched the door with worry filled eyes.

"Good luck Hiro," he whispered, smiling.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After changing into his own clothes, Hiro strode purposely towards K-sensei's classroom. But every step he took, the closer he got, the more he felt like a condemned man walking to his death. He could already feel his body getting slick with sweat, his forehead was damn and his hair began to stick to his face. He couldn't do this, he couldn't face the man, he just couldn't.

He stopped outside the door of the classroom, by now all his resolve had flown away. He couldn't face it. He turned on his heel and was about to run when a hand descended on his shoulder holding him firmly in place.

"I think we nee to talk, Nakano-san," Hiro gulped. He knew that voice.

"Sit down." Hiro gulped and tried not to show his nervousness, but he was sure his traitorous body was giving him away. He could feel the sweat on his forehead. He didn't dare look up to meet K's gaze so he stared at the floor, counting the cracks in the tiles.

'1...2...3...'

"Nakano-San, what happened yesterday?" K said seriously.

'Don't listen don't look up, now where was I? 4...5...'

"Nakano-San?" Hiro winced and squeezed his eyes shut hoping K would disappear, but he didn't.

"I'm sorry," he muttered quietly, feeling like a child being scolded for breaking something.

"Nakano-San, is something troubling you?" Hiro didn't answer.

"You know Nakano-San, I have a wife and a kid, damn crazy wife, but I love her anyway. You'll find someone for you soon Nakano, but I'm not the one for you. Just open your eyes, the one you're looking for could be right in-front of you. Damn that sounded cheesy." Hiro still hadn't replied, he was starting to feel smaller and smaller. This wasn't K, he felt as if the man were mocking him, treating him like a child. Hiro would much rather he shout at him, shoot him and leave it at that, but this, this was much worse.

"I'm sorry," he muttered again, still not looking up. He suddenly wished he'd let Suguru come with him, just knowing his friend was outside the door would be of some comfort.

"Don't apologize. I'm sure you're worried about your friend; I heard what happened. But remember what I said, the one for you is out there somewhere. You may go." Hiro nodded still not facing the teacher as he stood; he hurried to the door before K changed his mind.

K ran his hand through golden locks and sighed. This was bad, very bad, he couldn't deal with emotions. He wasn't used to cheering people up or understanding how they feel. He was used to making a joke out of things, never taking things seriously. He shook his head still staring at the door Hiro had disappeared through.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That was hell, he couldn't even look the man in the eye, there was no way he'd be able to face him in glass. It was just too uncomfortable. Maybe he could drop the class, but his parents would kill him, he was only allowed to take music because he promised them he'd take another useful subject too. Maybe he could change subjects? But there was nothing else that interested him.

He could leave, go to another college, but what about Shuichi? He couldn't leave him on his own, but Shuichi had Yuki now, did Shuichi really need Hiro anymore? Hiro slumped his shoulders dejectedly; he was at a loss for what to do.

Before he knew it he was outside Suguru's door again. He frowned. He was spending more time at Suguru's than he was at his own apartment. Oh well, it was better than dealing with Tatsuha.

He gently rapped the door with his knuckles and Suguru answered, giving him a small smile then stepping aside to let him in. They both sat on the sofa with a glass of water.

"How did it go?"

"Awfully," Hiro said, slumping in his seat and glaring at the TV as if it was its fault, "and I still have a hangover."

Suguru laughed and patted Hiro's shoulder.

"At least the worst part's out of the way now."

"I guess," Hiro stared at the TV, watching the images moving and changing but not really paying attention to what was happening. His brain registered it was an anime, but that was it. He felt a sudden weight fall against his shoulder and saw that Suguru's head now rested on his shoulder. The green hair tickled his neck and the boy's eyes were closed. His chest gently rose and fell in time with his breathing. Suguru had fallen asleep.

Hiro shook his head and smiled at the boy. He looked quite cute asleep. His features were relaxed, the permanent serious expression gone. His mouth, which normally lay in a thoughtful frown, was now in a relaxed smile. The short green hair barley touched his eyelids.

Hiro began to play with the hair, trying to mould it into spikes, but the hair refused to cooperate and fell back to where it was before. Hiro glared at the hair. He tried again and again to get the hair to obey him but as soon as his hand left the hair it would fall back to its flat state.

Half an hour passed with Hiro battling with the hair until he finally gave up. There was no point, the hair had won, for now at least.

'Just wait until you meet Mr. Hair Gel,' Hiro laughed in his head.

The anime wasn't too bad, some film, Hiro had caught the tail end of it so he was a bit confused, but it killed some time. Besides, Hiro didn't want to move in case he woke the boy. He knew how important it was to be able to sleep off a hangover, well to him it was.

Another show came on, it must be some anime channel, and so Hiro spent the next two hours watching anime.

When Suguru finally opened his eyes Hiro could no longer feel his arm. He knew killer pins and needles were to come, but right now it be a welcome change to distract him from the pain in his head.

Suguru yawned loudly holding his hand over his mouth, mouth stretching so wide Hiro would have seen what the boy had for breakfast if he cared to look. Suguru sat up sleepily, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

Without Suguru's head resting on his shoulder the blood was allowed to flow freely into Hiro arm, bringing with it the worst pins and needles Hiro ever had.

"Ouch ouch ouch!" Hiro muttered as he rubbed his arm trying to bring feeling back to it.

"Sorry," Suguru muttered, Hiro just shook his head.

"It's fine. The least I could do. I hope I made a comfy pillow anyway." Suguru looked thoughtful for a second.

"Ok I guess, a bit lumpy though." Hiro faked a look of surprise and hurt.

"Fine. Last time you get to use my arm as a pillow. Damn pins and needles." He shouted still rubbing his arm trying to bring it to life. "What time is it?"

"6:30." Suguru collapsed back into the sofa.

"You wanna go visit Shuichi again? We still have time." Suguru asked, Hiro shook his head.

"I hate hospitals and I hate seeing him like that, I'll go visit when he wakes up," There was no need to say if he wakes up, they were both thinking it.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence, both thinking about Shuichi, hoping he'd be ok. Hiro felt guilty for going out last night, but as soon as Suguru suggested it he'd felt the need to drown his sorrows.

'Some friend I am,' he said to himself as he ran a hand through long dark hair. Suguru yawned again.

"I'm off to bed. You can stay or go or whatever, I just need to sleep." Suguru slouched off to his room, already looking half asleep. Hiro watched him leave but didn't move, he sat there in silence for a second before getting up to turn the TV down a bit. He still wasn't up to facing Tatsuha.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri sat vigil at Shuichi's bedside, a Nittle Grasper song playing in the background. There was no change in Shuichi condition. The nurse said it was good, they had expected his condition to deteriorate. He'd been in a bad way when he'd been bought in and they hadn't expected him to make it.

As each day went by, hope grew brighter. At least that's what the nurse said, or words to that effect.

So the longer Shuichi held on, the more hope he'd recover. Eiri just wished the boy would wake up.

Eiri kept a tight grip on Shuichi's hand, his body had grown warmer and now his skin held a pinkish tone. He looked a lot better, but his face seemed to be drawn and he looked skinnier, not noticeably, but every day he'd looked smaller and smaller.

It was the third day now, or so Eiri thought. He'd lost track of time. He was always in the hospital now. He'd even managed to bribe the nurses, with copies of his book signed, to let him stay the night as well. He wanted to stay by Shuichi's side all day, just in case the boy woke up.

He wanted to be there when he woke up, he didn't want to Shuichi to wake up alone.

_"Gomen nasai, gomen nasai," the boy shouted as he ran. The walls were painted red and a monster chased him. A monster covered in blood. And there was no escape, and it was all his fault. _

_"Please don't hurt me again. I'm sorry." The footsteps were getting closer, his hands stung demanding attention. But he daren't look, if he looked he see the stains of red. The ones that would never come off. _

_Pink hair stuck to wet cheeks as the boy stumbled. And the monster grew closer and closer. His heart beat treacherously loudly, blood pounding in his ears. _

_The monster was going to get him. There was no hope of escape. He didn't even know why he bothered to run. He heard the heavy footfalls drawing nearer and nearer. _

_"Gomen..." A knife clattered to the floor, splashed with crimson. _

_The monster was right behind him, breathing down his neck, sending shivers down his spine. _

_But the strong hands never came, they never wrapped their crushing might around his small arms, instead he was enveloped in light. Who? _

_Amethyst eyes met golden ones. A kind face with blond hair. A pair of white wings wrapped around the two like a shield and the blonde's arms wrapped around the boy. _

_'Who are you,' the boy thought but he daren't speak. _

_"Shuichi, come back." _

_"Who's Shuichi? ...Am I Shuichi?" _

_"Yes." _

_"I forgot…I'm so tired." _

_"Come back, we're waiting for you. We miss you." _

_"Who misses me? _

_"Your friends...me." _

_"Who are you?" _

_"Eiri." the boy closed his eyes and rested his head against the blonde's chest. Eiri. He remembered now, the man he had trusted so easily. But why? He didn't understand it himself. But Eiri was safety, warmth, something he hadn't felt for a long, long time, and he was someone who could frighten away his nightmares. Someone who was there. _

_"I remember...Eiri." The blond smiled and held the boy tighter. _

_"Am I dreaming?" _

_"Maybe." _

_The boy wrapped his arms around the blonde pulling him closer. _

_'I want to go back, go back to my friends...back to Eiri.' _

_"How?" _

_"You'll find a way," Lips descended gently on his head, kissing his temple tenderly._

_"Come back to us Shuichi." _

_'Yes, I'll find a way, because... I want to see him again.' _

A monitor bleeped slightly and Eiri jumped fearing the worst, but it wasn't the heart monitor. It still gave out its steady bleeping. Some other monitor had made the sound, Eiri didn't care which one, as long as Shuichi was still ok, the nurse would come if it was important.

Eiri gently stroked the pink hair. It was starting to get dull, but it still held its beauty. He gently kissed the boy's temple.

"Come back to us, Shuichi."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiro woke up to a dark room, the TV an annoying buzzing noise and the only source of light. He stretched slightly to work out the aches in his joints from falling asleep on the sofa.

A glance at the clock told him it was 11 o'clock, it wasn't very late but Hiro was tired. He decided to go back to his dorm. He needed a nice comfy bed. He knocked lightly on the bedroom door but there was no answer. Opening it a crack, he saw Suguru curled up, the covers knotted around him and hugging his pillow, dead to the world. Hiro shook his head and shut the door tightly.

Suguru was so serious when he was awake and looked like such a kid when he slept. Hiro found it rather cute.

Hiro left Suguru's dorm and quietly sneaked down the corridors to his own.

He quietly sneaked into his dorm, trying no to disturb Tatsuha. The man was currently passed out on the couch. Hiro was glad. He sneaked into his room and crashed onto the bed, glad for its familiar warmth.

Hiro stood outside the headmaster's door again, twiddling his thumbs. He'd come to a decision, but somehow he'd rather face K again than talk to the headmaster... Then again maybe not, it was why he was here after all. He though back on what had led him here.

Hiro had woken up feeling really down, so down, in fact, that he hadn't wanted to get out of bed. He just threw the blankets over his head and went back to sleep, or at least he tried. But now the drink had completely loosened its grip on his system and he kept thinking of the American. Of the kiss. Of Shuichi in hospital. Too many thoughts were assaulting his mind, he felt as if his head were going to explode.

His guts curled in a tight knot at the thought of going to class, facing K. It was a horrible thought. He had the rest of the course, about four years and he would have to face K all those days, months and years.

He tossed and turned until he lay on his back, glaring at the ceiling. He could quit the class, he really wanted to, but his parents would kill him and probably cut his money. They were the only way he currently managed to stay in the University.

But...he didn't know if he could stay, he'd rather change universities than keep the English class. Maybe, maybe his parents would let him change universities.

He sat there in silence after that thought. Could he leave? The main reason he'd come to this University was for Shuichi, but now he had Yuki and seemed happy to be with him. Suguru would find new friends. Hiro wasn't needed.

He could escape and never see that American again!

Filled with determination, he dressed and headed for the headmasters office.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Now he felt deflated and all his sureness left him. He was filled with doubt, Shuichi would kill him. His parents would have to dig up his body to kill him again, and then for good measure Suguru would probably burn the remains. He was dead.

"Nakano-San, you may go in now."

'Great,' he muttered. He nodded his thanks to the secretary and entered.

"Nakano-San is something wrong?"

Hiro strode over to the desk and took a seat. He felt his resolve return as he thought of English class. He stared the man behind the desk straight in the eye.

"I want to switch Universities." The head raised his eyebrow.

"Why?"

"I just do," Hiro growled angrily, there was no way he could tell him the real reason. The man took off his glasses and rubbed his temple.

"Look Nakano, you're emotionally unstable now. You have allot on your mind."

'What the hell? I came to see the headmaster not a psychiatrist.' Hiro thought but he didn't voice his thought, merely showed them in the death glare of death glares.

"I want to change schools, can't you just except that?"

The head teacher sighed. "Ok, how about a compromise? Think about it for a month. If after a month you still want to leave, then I shall arrange the paperwork." Hiro clenched and unclenched his fists.

"Fine," he said through gritted teeth before storming out.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After music class was dinner. Hiro and Suguru ate in a corner of the cafeteria in silence. Hiro was still fuming and Suguru was afraid to say anything in case Hiro's wrath turned on him. But after a whole class of Hiro's mutterings and glares and a dinner spent worried for the table's safety, Suguru had had enough.

"Hiro what's wrong?" Hiro turned a dark glare on Suguru, enough to make mass murderers call for mommy but Suguru didn't even flinch. Hiro's hands were wrapped around the edge of the table his knuckles turning as white as the rice he was eating.

"Nothing," he snapped, still looking as if he were trying to snap the table in half.

"Looks like nothing," Suguru said sceptically. Hiro just growled again and let the table go.

"That damn man thinks he knows everything."

"Who?"

"The head teacher thinks he knows how if feeling and shit. Why won't he just let me change schools like I wanted? DAMN HIM!" he said loudly snapping the chopstick he'd just picked up in half in his fist. There was a deadly silence as everyone's attention focused on Hiro for a second, but the sight of the fuming teen caused everyone to look away quickly.

Suguru sat there in utter shock, an unreadable expression on his face. Hiro was still muttering angrily until his eyes fell on Suguru's shell shocked face, the mutterings died in his throat.

"You're leaving?" Suguru said quietly, as if he couldn't quite believe what his friend had told him.

"I...yeah...in a month," Hiro said quietly.

"Why?" Suguru's voice was still quiet and emotionless. It scared Hiro.

"I can't face his class." Something slammed onto the table hard causing silence to fall in the room. Startled, Hiro looked up to see Suguru standing; his fist trembled on the table top, turning red from the force of hitting the table. He eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"What about your friends? What about Shuichi? What about me!"

"You'll make new friends, you don't need me. And Shuichi has Yuki."

"BAKA!" The tears were running down his cheeks now and his shoulders shook as he tried to hold back the sobs.

"You're my first friend here, the only one who doesn't look at me and see some kid. Everyone thinks I'm full of myself or something because I came here early, but I didn't ask for it. You were the first one to treat me as a normal person. Shuichi has Yuki, do you think I want to hang around with the love birds for the rest of my time in University? I'll gag if I have to. I don't want you to leave." he added quietly.

"But I can't stay, I just..."

"What about Shuichi? Isn't he enough reason for you to stay? What about me?"

"I...I just can't..." The table was slammed again and Suguru was now crying unashamedly. He was at a total loss for words. He shook his head and closed his eyes, hiding the tears from Hiro.

"Baka," he whispered before running away, still trying to hold back the tears.

"Fujisaki," Hiro whispered quietly. He hadn't expected the teen to act like that. He'd looked hurt, as if Hiro deciding to leave was something to do with him. And it killed Hiro to see him cry, he'd looked so vulnerable, and it was all Hiro's fault.

"Fujisaki, wait!" he shouted and got up to run after the teen.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Fujisaki! Fujisaki! Where are you?" Hiro was nearly tearing his hair out looking for the teen. One thing he'd learned about Suguru was the teen could run fast.

Hiro ran through the doors and into the sunlight, the grounds were packed. Students sat on any and every available space. Hiro growled in frustration. He looked over the heads of every student for a familiar green one, but the only green visible was the grass.

"Damn," he muttered kicking at the dirt. If this was how Fujisaki acted he'd hate to see Shuichi's reaction.

"I can't do anything right," he muttered to himself and began walking, hoping to find Suguru.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Baka, baka, baka," Suguru chanted as he ran, ran away from Hiro. He didn't want him to see him crying. He wouldn't let him see his tears. Suguru ran through the doors, almost knocking a girl over. She shouted after him angrily but he didn't stop, wouldn't stop. He carried on running until he reached a quiet area of the university grounds. It was largely shaded by some trees and the grey building also added to the darkness.

Suguru sat on the cold ground and leaned against the trunk of the nearest tree. He bought his knees up to his face and wrapped his arms around his legs, letting his tears flow onto his knees.

"Baka," he muttered to himself, "why are you crying?"

Suguru closed his eyes tightly and tried to banish the tears, but they refused, stubbornly, and continued to run from his eyes down his cheek.

"Suguru, are you ok?" Looking up Suguru was met with the concerned gaze of his cousin.

"Tohma?" The blonde knelt down in the grass next to his cousin and wrapped his arms around the small shoulders, pulling the smaller boy against his chest.

"Suguru, it's ok, shh," Suguru couldn't hold back his tears any longer. They were already escaping anyway, so he let them free. He snaked his arms around the taller blonde and buried his head in his cousin's chest and wept. Tohma held the boy tightly, gently rubbing his back in comfort.

Silence fell after a while but the two didn't move. Tohma still held Suguru tightly and Suguru was unwilling to let go.

"Are you ok now?" Suguru nodded and gently pulled back to face Tohma.

"Sorry, I got you all wet," Tohma just smiled.

"That's ok, I needed a shower anyway." This broke a small laugh from the younger boy and even Tohma's eye twinkled slightly, but he seemed to remember why he was here and a serious expression fell on his face.

"I feel almost guilty bringing you this news. You're already upset."

Suguru shook his head. "I'm fine, what is it?"

Tohma sighed.

"He's out. I couldn't do anything. I'm sorry. He should rot in jail."

Suguru didn't seem affected by the news. He just stared at the ground. "I see."

"I'm sorry Suguru, just... just be careful ok. He might come after you."

"He won't, he doesn't care about me," Suguru smiled at his cousin to reassure him. Tohma didn't seem convinced.

"Just be careful ok." Suguru nodded.

"Well, I have to go now. I'm sorry I can't stay any longer. I suppose Eiri is at the hospital with Shindou-San. Am I right?"

"Probably."

"Ok, I'll go there then. Are you sure you're ok now, Suguru."

"Hai."

Suguru watched his cousin leave, the smile still in place to reassure the blond. He watched as the blond turned the corner and disappeared from view. Still he smiled the fake, forced smile. It took him a few seconds to realize his cousin had left before the smile broke. He sighed again, a sad look now in his face and eyes.

"He's out," Suguru muttered quietly. His shoulders slumped forward slightly and he suddenly felt so very tired, he just wanted to curl up and go to sleep.

And so, curling up into a ball, his back against the tree, Suguru closed his eyes and let the blackness of dreamless sleep take him.

-------------------------------------

YAY! So there you go please, please, olease review! Each review makes me want to write more. Chapter 11 will be better i promis, in fact Shuichi will wake in chapter 11 i promis. Shuichi still needs the get well cards! So keep writing Shuichi runs in and kissed and glomps each person whos has send a card or reviewed

HEY YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE IN HOSPITAL! (chases Shuichi with a frying pan(

Eiri: If you haven't been scared off yet see you in the next chapter (chases after Angelic so she cant hurt his Shu-baby)


	13. Awaken Chapter 11

**EDIT 8 December 2005: This is the betad version of chapter 11, woohoo. My computer finally behaved and let me upload this. So now you dont have to put up with my terrible grammer and spelling. ENJOY!**

AngelicScars: I AM ALIVE! AND IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!

Muse-chan: Sure you are...

AngelicScars: Shut up you, i didn't give you permission to be here. Anyway, i have a reason. My comp crashed, and it didn't get fixed for a month. A MONTH! Anyway with the wounderful timing computers had my beta had computer trouble too. At the same time...computers are evil.

Muse-chan: or you're just unlucky

AngelicScars: ;;

AngelicScars: Shut up!...oh and BTw this is my muse, she helps me write and gives me ideas

Muse-Chan: Shoot me now.

AngelicScars: cough anyway thankyou everyone whos reviewed and im really really really REALLY sorry about the...many many weeks without any update. ENJOY THE CHAPTER!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiro watched the familiar blond walk away; he frowned slightly as he watched the man leave. He looked awfully familiar put he couldn't place his finger on where he'd seen him before. He shook the thought away, though, as he watched Suguru. The boy was still sitting against the tree where the blond had left him, his head buried in his knees. He didn't move closer, still hiding out of sight of both the blond and Suguru even though the blond had long gone. Suguru was still, very still, Hiro began to wonder if he'd gone to sleep or something.

Slowly and as quietly as he could, he approached the still figure.

"Fujisaki?"

No answer. Hiro knelt down in front of the green-haired boy and rested his hand on his shoulder.

"Fujisaki, don't ignore me...please."

Hiro decided to test the theory and see if Suguru was asleep. He gently cupped a hand under the boy's chin and lifted his head. Suguru's eyes were closed and his breathing was gently and rhythmic. Hiro shook his head and tried not to laugh. He almost winced though when he saw the dried tear trails on the pale cheeks.

"Why are you crying over me, huh? You'll make new friends easy." Hiro sighed as he let the boy's head drop back to his knees. Shifting slightly closer he wrapped his arms around the boy and picked him up. He didn't have the heart to wake him, so he carried him to his dorm.

Tatsuha was there, sitting quietly for once. He raised an eyebrow at Hiro then noticed the bundle in his arms.

"What did you do to Suguru!" shouted jumping to his feet and pointing an accusing finger at Hiro.

"He fell asleep," Hiro muttered quietly, looking a bit scared at the look on Tatsuha's face.

"Oh ok," he said happily and sat back down.

Hiro carried Suguru to his room and laid the boy on his bed. When he left the room Tatsuha was watching the TV sipping a can of Coke.

"So how do you know Fujisaki?"

Tatsuha looked at Hiro and smiled.

"His cousin's married to my sister. Guess that makes us cousin-in-laws or something like that. I never really bothered to think about it. I've known him since we were little."

"Oh..."

"So, what's the matter with him?"

"Nothing...he just fell asleep so I brought him here to let him rest." They sat in silence for a while, with nothing to really talk about. Tatsuha was happy to just watch the TV but Hiro felt guilty and couldn't concentrate on anything. He hoped Fujisaki wouldn't be mad at him; he valued the boy's friendship and didn't want to lose it.

"I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later." Tatsuha nodded but didn't take his eye off the TV screen.

Hiro didn't really know where to go, he just knew he had to get out, clear his head. He exited the building through the main doors and sat on the big steps that took up half of the front of the building. It was a lot quieter now, some student still hung around out side, but most had dispersed elsewhere.

'I didn't mean to hurt anyone,' Hiro ran his hand through his long hair, 'seems I can't do anything right.'

He sighed in frustration and glared at the horizon ahead of him. Who knew university would be so hard?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Suguru woke to an unfamiliar room. He looked around him groggily but couldn't find the energy to move. He curled up into the blankets and clutched the pillow with a death grip.

The bed smelled nice, a familiar scent clung to the sheets, although he couldn't put his finger on it, it was comforting. He sighed and closed his eyes but his body refused to go back to sleep, it screamed at him.

'Get up you lazy ass!'

Suguru tossed and turned for a bit before giving up, he wasn't about to win. Angrily, he kicked his feet over the edge of the bed and jumped into the room, looking for anything that would tell him where he was.

The room was neat and tidy, a place for everything and everything in its place sprung to mind. Suguru was about to root through the wardrobe to look for a clue but decided against it. It was much easier just to open the door and hope whoever was on the other side wasn't a murderer or something.

Barefooted he walked across the carpeted floor; the carpet was lovely and soft, the thick material leaked between his toes. The vague thought entered his mind of where his shoes were.

'Maybe my kidnapper stole them.'

But he didn't ponder on that thought much. Opening the door he walked slowly into the living room were the sofas back faced him, the TV was on and someone with black hair sat in on the sofa. The head looked awfully familiar.

He walked closer to the sofa until he was standing right behind the person. He smiled when he realized who it was. With a swift movement his hands landed on the others shoulders.

"BOOO!" he shouted right in the boy's ear.

"AAAARGH!" Tatsuha jumped about five feet in the air before landing on the sofa in an ungraceful heap. He turned around quickly blinking in confusion, when he saw Suguru he glared at him.

"Thanks for the heart attack but care to warn me next time?"

Suguru just laughed more and sat down on the spare bit of sofa.

"So what am I doing here?"

"Nakano said you fell asleep and he didn't want to wake you so he bought you here. He went for a walk ages ago. Hasn't come back yet."

Suguru's eyes darkened and he stared at the floor at the mention of Hiro's name.

"I see."

Tatsuha noticed this and a look of concern flashed over his face.

"You ok Suguru?"

His only answer was a sigh and a nod.

"So what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Sure, I believe you. Come on I've known you since we were babies. I know when your lying, you were never good at it."

Suguru glared at Tatsuha but the other was unfazed.

"It's nothing, it's just... I... I don't want him to leave," he whispered the last part quietly, so quietly Tatsuha only just managed to catch it.

"Huh. Am I missing something?"

"Iie its nothing, just leave me alone." Suguru muttered looking away, refusing to even look at Tatsuha.

"Come on, tell me," Tatsuha whined slightly, trying the puppy look, but that didn't work since Suguru wasn't even looking at him, "Tell me or I'll...I'll," his eyes darted as he tried to think of a suitable threat, he grinned mysteriously when he finally thought of something.

"Or I'll steal your keyboard and take it apart bit, by bit. Then I'll mail you all the little bits. Maybe a little bit every month or something."

"You wouldn't!" Suguru said looking shocked and knowing full well Tatsuha would.

"Of course I would, there's no lock I can't pick."

Suguru just glared at him.

"Bastard."

"Why thank you," Tatsuha said, bowing and acting as if he's just won a Grammy. He was snapped out of his silly five seconds by Suguru bashing him over the head.

"I'll tell you if you shut up."

"DEAL!" Tatsuha said pulling his leg up onto the couch and crossing them underneath his body. He crossed his arms over his chest and raised one finger and settled it in font of his mouth. Shhhh.

Suguru just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"He's leaving."

"Huh? Who's leaving?" Tatsuha cocked his head to the side working the confused puppy look to the max. A question mark would surely pop above his head any second.

Suguru lifted his feet onto the couch and hugged his knees.

"Hiro. He's leaving. I don't want him too." Suguru knew he sounded like he was pouting. He probably wasn't being fair to Hiro either. But, he didn't want him to leave.

Tatsuha still looked confused.

"So you can still keep in tough with letters or something."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Suguru screamed pounding his fist into the couch. Tatsuha jumped back, wearing an expression that looked like he was sitting next to a Rottweiler rather than a teenager. But then again, teenagers and their hormones, there wasn't much difference.

"Ummm...er...ok," Tatsuha said meekly.

Tears were starting to build up again in the corners of Suguru's eyes. He thought he'd already cried all the tears he could. Where were these new ones coming from?

"I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay... with me." he whispered the last part quietly but Tatsuha caught it. And he also started to understand everything.

"You love him don't you?"

Suguru stared at the wall, biting his lip hard and hugging his legs. He started to shake slightly with the effort of holding back the sobs.

"Hai."

"Have you told him?"

Suguru shook his head so hard Tatsuha thought it might fall off.

"I can't!"

"Why?"

"He...he...loves someone else," the tears were now slowly escaping down the boys cheeks. Little rivers of sorrow.

"He loves K-sensei. He doesn't feel the same, but... but Hiro still loves him." Suguru shut his eyes tight. Hopping to block out the world and the troubles it held.

Tatsuha gently wrapped an arm around the boy and pulled him to his chest.

"Shhh, Suguru-chan. I'm sorry." he hugged the boy tightly hopping to give him some comfort.

"I know how you feel. Having such strong feelings for someone. Feeling so happy when you're with them, and so sad when you're away from them. You'd do anything for them. You want to be with them every second of every day. Feeling so strongly for one person you wonder how your heart can take it. I know." he gently smoothed Suguru's hair as he talked.

"But you got the one you wanted."

"I know but I still feel the same. I know it's hard to let someone go, but sometimes. There's nothing you can do to stop it."

Suguru sat up then, facing Tatsuha with a look of pure anger on his face.

"I don't want to give up! I don't want to let him go!"

Tatsuha winced slightly. At a loss for what to say.

"I'm sorry."

Suguru just shook his head and sank back into the couch.

"There's nothing you can do. He's out as well. My day just keeps getting better!"

"WHAT! How...how. I thought..."

"So did I. Tohma came today to tell me."

"I'm sorry. Damn I'm starting to sound like a broken record."

Suguru managed a small smile at that.

"It's ok. He won't come after me. He doesn't care."

"Still. Be careful."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiro came back about an hour later. Suguru had managed to get himself in check. He and Tatsuha now sat on the couch sipping tea.

He smiled at Suguru as he came in.

"I'm glad you're ok. Will you talk to me now or are you still pissed at me?"

Suguru nodded.

"Was that a yes too still pissed or a yes..."

"Just sit!" Suguru said patting the seat next to him.

Tatsuha jumped up.

"I just remembered I left my brain in the library. See you kids later."

They watched Tatsuha bound out the door. Suguru just wore an expression that clearly said. 'This happens everyday.' Hiro apparently wasn't used to Tatsuha's craziness.

"Don't worry, he's always like that."

Hiro took the space next to Suguru.

"I'm sorry." Hiro whispered staring at the floor. Suguru shook his head.

"No I'm sorry. I over reacted and I didn't consider you're feelings. I'm sorry."

"But I'm sorry too," Hiro said.

"Well I'm sorrier!" Suguru replied.

They both looked at each other and laughed. Suguru smiled and sat back into the couch.

"I still don't want you to leave though. And I don't think Shuichi would want you to leave either."

"Why?"

Suguru looked shocked at the question. He hadn't been expecting it.

"Because you're our friend. We want you to stay."

"But...why? Why do you want me around?" Hiro looked sad, dejected. Rejection did horrible things to a person. Suguru decided he would never risk rejection. It looked too painful.

"Because." 'Because I love you. You make me happy just by being there. When you talk to me I feel so special. I... I can't say that.' "Because you're a great friend. You're fun to be around. You help your friends out. Look after them no matter what."

Hiro sighed. He didn't look convinced.

"I just can't face him. I feel like a fool." Suguru gently rested a hand on Hiro's shoulders.

"We all fall in love with someone unobtainable at some point. But it's how you deal with it that makes you. Don't let him get to you. I know it's hard. But learn from it. I know you're strong, Hiro. You can do it. You can always switch classes. And K isn't the only person in this school. I know someone here likes you very much." Suguru smiled gently hopping to lighten Hiro's mood.

Hiro turned to him a slight twinkle in his eye.

"Who?"

"Huh?"

"Who likes me?"

Suguru blushed bright red and turned away. He waited a few second waiting for the blush to leave his pale cheeks. When he turned back a huge grin plastered his face.

"It's a S-E-C-R-E-T!"

"Aww come on, tell me. Please!"

Suguru just shook his head still smiling. Hiro frowned.

"Meanie," his tone sounded pouty and hurt, but he was smiling. "So are we still friends?"

Suguru nodded.

"Great! Hey, Suguru, who was the blonde I saw earlier?"

"Tohma, my cousin. He came to deliver some news, that's all." Hiro sighed in relief with a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. When he'd seen the two hugging so tightly, he'd had an odd feeling in his stomach. As if he might be sick, or might punch the blonde. But he pushed it to the back of his mind. It didn't make sense.

"Not bad I hope."

"Oh no, not bad at all. Just that my _father _who killed my mother is out of jail," he said in a disgusted voice as he put his tea cup down with a little too much force. In fact it cracked and the tea slowly leaked out onto the saucer.

"I hate him!"

Hiro looked blank. At a loss for what to say. Suguru laughed at the sight.

"Hey it's ok. I don't even remember him. He should rot for what he's done."

"I'm sorry, Suguru. I didn't know." Hiro looked pale and sick. Suguru smiled.

"Really, don't worry about it. He's not going to come after me or anything. I just want to forget about him."

"How...how did he...?"

"Kill my mom? He beat her to death." Suguru stared into the tea cup, "I was six and I saw it all. I saw him hit her again and again. I saw her fall and hit her head and she closed her eyes. I watched as he kicked her and hit her again and again even after she'd fallen. I sat there and watched...I...I didn't do anything...I just watched." Suguru's fists clenched and he started to shake with anger. He shook himself though, shaking himself out of the memory.

"There's nothing I can do now. I don't even remember it anyway. I just know what Tohma told me."

"Still, be careful Suguru."

Suguru rolled his eyes and glared at Hiro.

"What's wrong with you people. Do you think I can't look after myself or something? He won't come after me. He doesn't care for me. Full stop, end of story!"

Hiro looked like he wanted to say more but didn't. He twitched in his seat. Not staying still for a second. Suguru just glared at him until he finally sat still.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiro decided to pay a visit to Shuichi. He felt guilty not visiting the day before, but he really couldn't stand hospitals. When he got to Shuichi's room he found Eiri already there. He looked as if he hadn't moved for days. The bags under his eyes could be used to go on holiday for a year. He looked exhausted but he was smiling.

"Nakano-kun, he's getting better! The nurse said his brain waves picked up or something. He might wake up soon. He's getting better!"

Hiro felt relief wash though him and he had to sit down. A stupid grin spread over his face.

"He's going to be ok."

"I'm such a crappy friend," Hiro sighed, "but I just can't bring myself to believe he's like this. Whenever I'm here, and I see him lying there it feels like a dream. When I leave I still expect him to walk into class or into the cafeteria. I just...can't. I went out last night, to a karaoke bar, and got drunk. It was as if nothing was wrong. I shouldn't be doing stuff like that. I should be here, but...I just can't..."

"Don't worry. The human mind can block out anything when it really wants to. Whenever there's something we don't want to remember or accept our mind plays tricks on us. Makes us think everything's ok. I still expect him to be there, sitting on the sofa listening to Nittle Grasper. But he's never there. I sometimes wait up all night just in case he walks through the door. Even though I know he won't, I still want to believe he will. Nakano, you're just dealing with things in your own way. Everything will catch up with you one day and you'll probably have a breakdown or something."

Hiro stared blankly at Eiri for a few moments before answering.

"Thanks...I think."

Eiri smiled weakly.

"He's going to be ok, Nakano. Try not to feel guilty."

Hiro nodded and sat silently, listening to Eiri talk to Shuichi as he told him what was going on in school. Random things like that, the conversation even wandered to the weather at some point but by then Hiro was too lost in thought to listen.

He hated hospitals; it was too white, too clean, too cold. It reminded him of death. And that scared him. Every time he walked through the door he expected bad news and he'd hold his breath until he got to Shuichi's room. Praying everything would be ok. He sighed; he really was a hopeless friend.

Slowly he got up and left the room quietly. Eiri was still talking to Shuichi and didn't notice him leaving.

Shutting the door with a gentle click, Hiro was still faced with white. He couldn't escape it. His back hit the wall and he slid to the floor, he felt so tired. He didn't notice he was crying until he felt the wetness on his knees. The tears had run down his face and fallen onto his trousers. His vision was blurry now, but the white was still there. All around him. He covered his face with his hands to get rid of the white. There was too much white. But, even with his eyes closed, blackness did not come to him. It was still white, brilliant, bright, impossibly clean white. He closed his eyes tighter and tighter, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes to try and get rid of the white.

Red spots began to dance across the white. Red as blood. Hiro shook his head and opened his eyes but the red spots still danced in front of his eyes.

Getting up he sprinted down the hall way blindly. A nurse shouted at him angrily and other people glared at him or yelled at him as he ran into them, but he didn't hear or see them, he just knew he had to get out of there.

The fresh air hit his face like a blast of cold water. He skidded to a stop and took a few deep breaths, shoulders shaking slightly. He felt his stomach twist painfully. He needed to be sick. He stumbled over to a bench and collapsed onto it. He always felt like this when he went to a hospital, but never this bad before. He closed his eyes trying not to remember.

_"We gave him some tranquilizers; he'll sleep for a bit."_

_"Thank you, Doctor." A woman with long dark hair bowed before turning to her small son who sat curled up on one of the chairs in the waiting room. _

_"Hiro-Chan, Shu-Chan will be ok, don't worry ok." The boy was shivering and his eyes were closed tight. He hugged himself closely, as if afraid, he looked so small and lost. His mother could still see the tears even though his eyes were shut tight against them. She wrapped her arms around the boy._

_"There there, Hiro-chan, Shu-chan will be alright, I promise." The boy hugged his mother tightly, fists clenched in her shirt and head resting on her shoulder. And he cried. He was no older than fourteen, about average height, and he had long dark red hair. _

_His best friend had been bought into hospital about an hour ago. Something bad had happened, but no one would tell him what. All he knew was someone was dead and Shuichi was covered in blood and wouldn't talk to anyone. _

_He sat in the hospital, so white. It was so fake, too clean, too bright. The colour of death._

_"Can I go see him now?" he whispered looking up into his mothers eyes._

_"Sure, come on." She took her son's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before leading him to the room. _

_Shuichi lay on the bed. Blood was matted in his hair and still stained his skin. He wore a white hospital gown and was covered with a white blanket. There were no cuts on him, but his skin was so pale and he looked dead. Hiro shivered and walked closer to his friend's bed. He felt as if he was drowning in white. _

_"Shuichi...what happened?"_

Hiro sighed. Shuichi had been in hospital one time again after that, that time covered in his own blood. Fighting for his life, just like he was now. Hiro had spent so much time in hospital, in the white, that he grown to fear it. He felt as if the whiteness of hospitals was drowning him suffocating him.

Most people associated black with death, but Hiro knew they were wrong. It wasn't black, but white. White was the color of death.

Hiro let his head flop back so he was looking at the sky. He sighed as a gentle breeze played across his face. He knew he could leave. Not really, he'd promised to always be there for his friend. If he left he'd be breaking his promise. But... could he really stay?

The one reason Shuichi went to University was because Hiro went with him, and now... Hiro was torn, torn between saving himself and being there for his friend.

"Life's a fucking bitch!"

"True."

Hiro almost let out an unmanly yelp at the voice, his head moved so fast he thought he'd get whiplash. Eiri sat beside him, staring off into the distance. Hiro didn't know how long he'd been there and found it unnerving that he hadn't notice him before.

"What do you want?"

"Just came to make sure you were ok."

"I'd be a lot better if you didn't sneak up on me." Eiri just shrugged. It was the best apology Hiro was going to get. He sighed angrily.

Eiri stood up but didn't make a move to leave.

"Don't be afraid. Shuichi will be fine." And he left. Hiro just stared at him.

"I think you've been breathing in hospital fumes for too long," Hiro muttered after the retreating blond.

Hiro took another look at the big building. Grey, a stark contrast to the white it held inside. He shook his head and stood. He was glad he'd taken the bus; a walk would do him good.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Suguru wandered around the university grounds aimlessly, breathing in the cool autumn air. The leaves on the trees were darkening and some had already fallen. The weather was still quite warm but that would soon change. And the students knew that. Everyone was outside enjoying the good weather while it lasted. Couples sat huddle together making Suguru want to puke (with jealousy). Groups of friends sat together on patches of grass under the trees. Some were just walking around like him.

Suguru continued to watch everyone. They were far more interesting than his train of thought, which always seemed to involve Hiro, and he needed to take his mind of that dangerous train of thought.

Looking around, a couple caught his eye. They weren't hugging or kissing or doing anything coupley. They were shouting, or at least the girl was. On closer inspection Suguru saw the girl was Ayaka and he felt the sudden urge to run up and smack her. He never had liked her. She was shouting at a boy that Suguru vaguely recognized. He had dark hair and wore an extremely bored expression. In fact, he was inspecting his nails in a rather unimpressed manner. That only infuriated the girl more. She stomped the few steps closer to him and thrust her face right in front of his, forcing him to at least look at her before continuing her rant.

The boys expression had gone from bored to annoyed in .5 seconds flat. His fists were now clenched at his side and shook slightly, as if suppressing the urge to smack the pest out of the way.

Suguru slowly snuck closer trying too look as if he'd always meant to go in that direction. As he got closer snippets of the conversation floated to him over the crowded air.

"...what do you think you're playing at...dangerous...if you'd got caught...bastard!"

Ayaka seemed extremely pissed now. Her face had turned beet red and steam would probably erupt from her ears any second.

Suguru was finally close enough to hear everything and her instantly stationed himself under one of the trees and hide behind a book.

"Relax," the voice was calm and confided, "he just got lucky. I learn from my mistakes. Besides, the little pink-haired brat won't talk."

"What exactly did you do to him anyway?" Ayaka's voice was calm, curious now.

"Exactly what you told me too, don't worry. You'll soon have your precious Yuki all to yourself," he said in a mocking mushy tone. Ayaka frowned.

"All I told you to do was scare him, not put him in hospital."

"That wasn't me," Suguru could practically hear the smirk in the boy's voice. He also had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Pink hair, hospital…Shuichi. He felt the anger bubble in him. This boy, he'd done something to Shuichi, or tried too and on Ayaka's orders. But what? And why? Did Ayaka really expect Eiri to have her back? He'd never even loved her in the first place.

"Just be more careful next time," Ayaka said as she stormed off. The boy still stood there, smirking.

"Don't worry _princess_," he spat out "I'll soon break the little pink haired brat, and I'll have sooooo much fun. This time he won't get away." And then he too left, a confident strut to his stride.

Suguru sat frozen with fear. Surely...surely...it can't be. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, threatening to choke him. That boy...he...it must have been him. The one who'd attacked Shuichi.

Suguru's fists balled in anger. How dare he! And Ayaka, this was her fault. He instantly jumped to his feet and stalked to the head teacher's office. But before he'd even reached the main doors he faltered. The cool air still dancing around his body. He couldn't go to the teacher. There was no way. He wasn't scared, no, but he didn't have proof. And without proof what good was telling anyone. Shuichi had refused to let anyone call the police so he couldn't even go to the police.

Suguru sighed in frustration as he walked away from the door and back the into the shade of a tree. Life was very unfair. A shadow suddenly fell over him, a shadow with a voice.

"Fujisaki-san?"

Looking up Suguru was met with the smiling face of Hikari (AN: the same Hikari from chapter one. I wanted to bring her into the story more ), the kind girl who had shown him around on his first day. Her long dark hair was currently tired back in a messy pony tail and she looked tired and worn but happy. She always looked happy. She was a kind person and Suguru enjoyed talking to her when ever he got the chance.

"Kinomoto-chan!" he smiled, "I haven't seen you in ages. How are you?" Hikari smiled again and plopped down onto the grass next to Suguru.

"What's wrong?" Suguru scowled, busted. Hikari had a knack of knowing when something was up. She just smiled knowingly at the younger boy's frown and ruffled his hair.

"You can't hide anything from me!" she declared proudly. Suguru just scowled more, looking very much like a child being refused sweets.

"Nothing's wrong," he said stubbornly, turning his head to the side. Hikari just laughed.

"It's ok you know, if you don't want to tell me. If it's a secret. But just remember, if you want to talk I'm always here or there," she said as she waved her hand in the air lazily.

Suguru smiled, Hikari had that effect on people. She made them feel at ease. And knowing there was someone there to talk to if needed made him feel better. He knew now he couldn't tell Eiri, not yet anyway. Eiri would kill Ayaka and the other boy without a second thought. And Suguru still couldn't put a name to the boy; he knew he should know his name. Maybe they were in the same class or something. He sighed in frustration. His eye scanned the area for the boy.

He was surprised when he found him rather easily, walking towards the main doors with too others.

"Hey, Hikari, who's the guy there, walking up to the doors? The one with short dark hair?" Hikari squinted for a second, focussing on his figure. She knew nearly everyone's name. Suguru hoped she knew who the boy was.

Hikari's face contorted into a look of loathing.

"Taki," she spat out, "he's so full of himself. No one can stand him except the two he's with." Hikari frowned again. "Why?"

"No reason," Suguru said, trying to sound innocent. Hikari didn't buy it but she didn't pry either.

"We'll I have to go to the library. Nice talking to you again, Fujisaki-san." She stood gave a small bow and left.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"TATSUHA-KUN!" a hyperactive voice screamed down the phone almost deafening the dark haired boy. Tatsuha laughed as he held the phone at arms length.

"Hey, Ryuichi, how's it going?"

Tatsuha could almost hear the older man's smile as he talked brightly about recording songs and stuff.

"Hey, Tatsuha, do you think Nittle Grasper can perform at you schools' winter dance this year." It was the same question he'd asked every year since Eiri had started going to school here. Ryuichi and Tohma had nagged, begged, and blackmailed Eiri but he stubbornly refused to let them perform there. Tatsuha smiled.

"You know what? I think I just might be able to persuade Eiri."

"REALLY! WAIIIII! Tatsuha-kun rules! Did you hear that Kumagoro? We're going to perform at Tatsuha and Eiri's dance!" The phone seemed to have dropped to the floor in Ryuichi's excitement. Tatsuha could hear the singer jumping around and shouting in excitement. It was nearly a full hour later before the phone was picked up again and Ryuichi shouted an enthusiastic good bye.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri was asleep, he hadn't meant to fall asleep, but sitting in one very comfy chair holding a one-sided conversation and lack of sleep forced his eyes shut. And so Eiri was curled up comfortably in the chair by Shuichi's bed. And being asleep Eiri didn't see the smaller boy's hand twitch slightly. He didn't see the eye lashes flutter like the delicate wings of a butterfly. He didn't see the amethyst eyes open. He didn't see the tear that ran down the boy's cheek. He didn't see the look of pain, the look of helplessness.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shuichi looked around the room with blank sightless eyes; all he saw was the white, white walls, white bead, white night shirt. Even his skin was paler than normal. He started lying down. He didn't feel he had the strength to sit up. He didn't want to.

He suddenly felt very cold and he shivered. A pain tingled from both of his wrists, a pain he hadn't felt in a long time, so familiar, so welcome. He closed his eyes again and instead focused on the dull pain in his wrists.

He didn't understand. He should be dead, he deserved to die. All he did was cause trouble. Why would anyone bother to save him? He looked to the side and saw the only colour in the room, curled in a chair. The blond snoozed softly. He looked so tired, as if he stayed up all night and a pain filled Shuichi's chest as he realized it was probably his fault.

Eiri stirred, seeming to have sensed a change in the room, in Shuichi. He slowly opened his eyes. Gold met amethyst. And they sat there, frozen for a few seconds.

"Am I dreaming?" Eiri whispered softly as he moved closer to Shuichi. He grasped Shuichi's hand in his, to find it cool, not cold but not particularly warm. He stared into Shuichi's eyes and saw them shimmer as the tears were born. And slowly, ever so slowly, each tear made its lone trail down a pale cheek to die on pale lips. Eiri's free hand rested gently on one cheek, brushing away the wetness with his thumb.

"I'm not dreaming," he whispered softly, "You're awake." His face broke into a wide grin.

"You're awake!" And now the gold orbs shimmered as tears fell from them, he didn't even bother to brush them away, still holding onto Shuichi tightly.

"I'm so glad, so glad you're awake." He longed to reach out and hug Shuichi tightly, but he daren't in case he disturbed one of the many tubes going into the small body. But Shuichi was still crying, a lost look to his features. His mouth opened and closed slowly, trying to find words but seeming to have forgotten how. He let out a small sigh and tried again, managing to croak out the only word, the only question he needed an answer to.

"Doshite?" The voice was so soft, so raspy, that Eiri barely heard it.

Eiri was too stunned to do anything. He stared at Shuichi for a full minute, trying to understand. Why? Why what? Eiri blinked slowly, and realization slowly dawned on him. He got out of his chair and sat on the edge of the bed. Gently he lifted Shuichi into a sitting position and leaned Shuichi against himself, wrapping his arms tightly around the boy. Shuichi struggled slightly, but he barely had enough energy to lift his arms so he quickly gave up.

"Because, I care about you, because you scared me so much. When I found you, there was so much blood. Because I'd miss you, because I don't want you to leave me. I know it sounds selfish. People would miss you. There are people who love and care about you Shuichi. How could I not do everything I could to save you?"

Shuichi was still crying. Eiri could feel his shirt getting wetter and wetter. But he held tightly to the small trembling body.

Shuichi had soon cried himself to sleep, exhausted. Eiri still held on tightly to him. He kissed the top of the boy's head and whispered softly in his ear. "Because I love you, and I'll never let you go."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

AngelicScars: HES AWAK HES AWAKE! glomps Shu-chan See see, i didn't kill him. Id NEVER kill Shu-chan...not in this story anyway

Muse-chan: you just know she's plotting something...

AngelicScars:...am not!

ANYWAY!... PLEASE REVIEW! Tell me what you think, shout at me for being so slow at updateing whatever I love you all!

Muse-chan: please review...you're reviews make her shut up for five.

YAY and theres the betad version. See ya in the next chapter


	14. Throwing out the trash chapter 12

Angelic Scars: I comand you all to bow down to the awsome Kolie-chan!

Everyone: has fainted because she updated so fast

Angelic Scars: Hey get up, im not that bad. Anyway, Kolie is an amazing beta and has broken her own record i think, for betaing a chapter the quikest ever. (Glomp) THANK YOU! So you all better give her cookies and read her stories.

Muse-chan: Why am i still here?

Angelic Scars: because i was bored

Muse-chan: ... thats it...no writting...FOR A MONTH!

Anglic Scars: NOOOOOOOOOOO! I promise i'll be good, anything but that, please!

Muse-chan: ...fine...but only because i know i wont hear the end of it.

Angelic Scars: YAY! Now...on with the fict!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Nakano-san, he's awake."

There was a triumphant and joyful yell on the other side of the phone. Eiri held the offending object away from his ear, glaring at it and willing Hiro to be quieter. He could almost hear him smiling, HEAR HIM SMILING! What the hell was that about? Eiri glared at the phone again as he moved it closer to his ear.

"How is he? Is he ok? Did he say or do anything? What's he doing now?"

"He...," Eiri stopped. He still wasn't sure if he really had heard Shuichi speak. The voice had been so quiet, so weak, "he asked why."

Hiro was silent and Eiri could feel the atmosphere suddenly get heavier.

"Ok, I'll be there soon. Thank you for calling, Eiri-san." There was a click, and then the buzzing of a dead line. Eiri hung up the pay phone and listened to the coins clatter to the bottom. No change. He glared at the phone again.

Eiri walked slowly back to the room, shoulders hunched, lost in thought. He couldn't get rid of the image of Shuichi looking so lost, upset, scared. He wanted nothing more in the world than to see Shuichi smile. Smile a true heartfelt smile, one that wasn't there just to cover up another emotion. The one always so evident in his eyes.

Shuichi was still asleep, looking more peaceful than he had in days. One arm rested above the sheets. It was covered in bandages. They were stained a slightly dark red color, obviously needing to be changed soon. Even though the deep cuts had been stitched they still bled a little. And it frightened Eiri every time he saw the blood. An image of Shuichi lying on the floor, in a pool of his own blood, was permanently burned onto his retinas.

He sat on the edge of the bed and took the hand in his own. Lifting the bandaged wrist to his lips he gave it a gentle kiss, willing the boy to get well soon.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiro walked briskly through the hospital corridors. Turning this way and that as he negotiated the labyrinth. Suguru jogged along behind him trying to keep up. They soon arrived at the familiar door and the two of them burst and tumbled into the room.

"Shuichi, are you ok? How are you feeling?" Hiro said as he ran to his friend's side and plopped down on the edge of the bed. Shuichi was awake now, sitting upright and leaning against the soft, fluffy pillows. The boy stared at his friend with dark amethyst eyes. He looked down to his lap and shrugged. Hiro smiled, or at least tried to. The smile ended up looking more like a grimace. He rested a hand on Shuichi's shoulder and gently squeezed.

"We're all so glad you're ok, Shuichi. You have no idea how worried we were."

Shuichi looked out the window trying to ignore his visitors. His mind was in turmoil and he just wanted to be left alone in the quiet, to try and sort it out. But at the same time he was afraid to be alone. A large part of him was angry, angry they hadn't just let him die, angry he'd failed, angry that they were all here worrying about him when they didn't care...shouldn't care about him. He didn't deserve it.

He sank deeper into the pillows and sighed.

Another part of him, so faint it was barely there, was glad. Glad that they were all there, glad they hadn't left him. He was so glad to see them that he felt like crying.

But another part, the part of him that was currently screaming the loudest was terrified. Terrified of what awaited him outside of the pure white walls. Just when he was starting, slowly but surely, to relax around people and enjoy his life at University, it had happened.

Why? Why did the world hate him so? Anytime he started to feel happy, anytime he was allowed to be happy, his happiness was snatched away; waved tauntingly in front of him, laughing at his pathetic attempts to snatch it back, before it vanished and left only despair and pain in its wake. It seemed the only emotions he was allowed to feel.

And who was he to argue with fate, or whatever it was? If he was only allowed to feel pain and misery, then so be it. He sighed again and looked at Hiro. He didn't bother smiling or doing anything to reassure his friend. He felt too tired, too exhausted, to do anything.

Suguru walked up to the bed and sat in the chair. Eiri was standing by the door, not saying a word.

"Shindou-san, I'm glad to see you're awake. We were all so worried." He looked at Shuichi and took in his dishevelled and tired appearance.

"You should get some sleep, Shindou-san. You look exhausted." Shuichi smiled inwardly, glad to Suguru for saying that. Glad the boy had given him and excuse, and escape. Shuichi lay down and pulled the covers over him. Hiro shut the curtains, plunging the room into a state of semi-darkness. Hiro didn't go back to the bed, instead he walked up to Yuki and started to talk to him.

"We're going to get some coffee, you want anything, Fujisaki?" Suguru shook his green head and watch the two leave the room. The door clicked shut behind them and the only sound in the room was that of faint breathing, and the occasional beep of a machine.

"Shuichi," Suguru whispered. But he stopped, he didn't know how to go on, how to put what he wanted to say into words.

"Its ok, to be scared, you know?" Shuichi looked up at him, jewel-like eyes full of confusion.

"But don't let your fear take over. Or it'll be all you ever feel. You have us...if you ever need to talk to someone, confide in someone. Your friends will always be there." Suguru sighed again as he trailed off. That wasn't quite what he wanted to say. It just didn't sound right somehow.

"Fear...is a powerful emotion. It can destroy all other emotions if you let it. But...there will always be something that makes you feel safe...and that can drive the fear away...you ...just need to find it...and trust in it."

Shuichi remained quiet. A picture of Eiri popped into his mind. His safety? Yes, Eiri was that one who had done the impossible. Made him feel safe, made him feel, as if he just maybe...could trust people again. But...did he fully trust Eiri? Shuichi didn't know.

The fist time he'd met Yuki, he'd been terrified. Yuki was taller and bigger than him and looked mad. Shuichi had gone to his room and had the same nightmare he had every night. Or at least it had started that way, but halfway through he felt...warmth...a gentle kind warmth and his dream...nightmare vanished.

The terror of finding himself in a stranger's arms when he woke was probably greater than his fear of the nightmare, at first. But what scared him the most wasn't the fact the guy was a stranger. The thing that scared him the most, was the fact. That in Eiri's arms he felt...safe. And although he had been scared at every touch, he'd become addicted, addicted to a sleep not punctured by nightmares.

Things had gone very fast, most people would have probably dismissed him as a fraud, terrified of people and yet trusting Eiri so easily. But it wasn't that easy... He didn't trust Eiri completely. He let the older man hold him because it was the only way to sleep without the nightmares. And he had been so tired for so long. To finally have something...something that helped him, it was like a drug. He just couldn't give it up. And so he would sleep with Eiri, let him hold him not because he fully trusted him, but because he was weak and didn't want to go back to the nightmares. As time went on, he did slowly begin to trust Eiri, but then there was that girl Ayaka...and him. Shuichi shuddered.

"Don't let the fear beat you." Shuichi looked at Suguru again who was looking out the window, or at least looking at the curtains as if he could see through them.

"Don't ever let it win. Because it can't win...if you don't let it." Suguru gave Shuichi a brilliant smile, one that stretched to each ear and lit up his eyes. He gave Shuichi's hand a reassuring squeeze and then fell silent.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So what exactly happened when he woke up?"

Hiro and Eiri stood by the coffee machine. Hiro held a cup of coffee in his hand, the machine hummed as it poured another cup for Eiri.

He sighed and pushed back his blond hair angrily. He glared at the machine for a minute before he spoke.

"He asked...why...then he started to cry. I think he was really mad at me. I tried to hug him...to comfort him. But he tried to shrug me off. Then...he fell asleep."

Hiro nodded but didn't say anything. He watched the coffee machine pour the last of the coffee, it gave a shrill beep and Eiri took the cup.

"Why would he do that? He seemed...ok...well as ok as he could be... I never expected..."

"You don't know the full story...he's...he's been through more than you realize. He's done this before. He's probably just angry you didn't let him die."

The two fell into silence, unsure of what to say.

"I thought he couldn't talk?"

Hiro looked up at the sound of Eiri's voice.

"He can't. At first, he just didn't want to talk. He would talk sometimes when he was angry or upset, but soon, it was as if he'd forgotten how to talk. What you heard today, that was the first thing he's said in ages. I've forgotten what his voice sounds like."

Eiri took a sip of his coffee and nearly burned his throat, but he ignored it. He wanted to do something other than just stand in this uncomfortable silence.

"Well. We should go back."

"Yeah."

They walked down the corridor still in silence, their footsteps echoed eerily and the place was nearly deserted. Only the odd nurse and someone visiting a friend walked past them.

When they got back to the small white room they found Suguru sitting on the chair and Shuichi lying down apparently asleep. Both were sitting in silence. Only the sound of breathing cut through the air. And if you listened closely, you could tell that Shuichi was not asleep, just faking it. But it was a clear sign that he wanted to be left alone for a bit.

Suguru stood as the two came through the door.

"We should get back, we've already missed loads of classes, and Eiri hasn't been to a single class since this happened. Come on, let's give Shuichi some peace."

He walked past Hiro and Eiri and out the door. Hiro followed after him. Eiri cast one last look at Shuichi before following, closing the door softly behind him.

When the door closed, a pair of dark eyes opened. Shuichi didn't move, just stared at the ceiling thinking. He was still slightly angry, but after what Suguru had said, he felt his anger subside slightly. He still longed for the blackness of death somewhat but...maybe...just maybe, with the help of Eiri, Hiro and Suguru he could get through this. He hoped so because a part of him, a very small part, didn't want to die yet. There were still many things he wanted to do.

He moved his wrist slightly and winced in pain. But it was a good pain; it was a pain that proved he was alive. He continued to twist his wrist slowly in small circles. He was probably doing some damage, but... he didn't care. He needed the pain, needed to see the blood.

He longed for something sharp...anything sharp. Just to do a few scratches. Maybe on his leg where no one would see. He just wanted to see the blood. There was something about seeing it, watching the bright red liquid stain his body. It made him feel better, in control.

He knew this was wrong, bad. He knew it was dangerous but he just couldn't help it. It was like asking a smoker to quit and not smoke a single cigarette for the rest of their lives after smoking 40 a day since they were 12. It just wasn't easy. It was an addiction in a way.

He closed his eyes angrily as he concentrated on the dull throb in his wrists. He would have to go back to see a psychiatrist. He hated those doctors. They tried to help you, pretended to be your friend. Most just treated him like a child, someone to be pitied and babied. He hated the way they talked down to him, the tone in their voice, indicating that they were better than him so he'd better listen. He hated it so much that it nearly stopped his thoughts of cutting himself again just so he could get away from them...almost. His life was full of don'ts whenever those doctors were involved. So he rebelled in the only way he could think of. His life really was a mess. He laughed inwardly at the mess he created.

His hand fell still, limp at his side. His mind wandered. He half wished Eiri, Hiro and Suguru would come back; one could die from boredom in hospital, if the food didn't kill you first that is.

He stared angrily at the spot of ceiling in front of him. He was definitely going to die of boredom soon.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The day passed in a monotonous drone. Suguru was half asleep by the time class finished. He really hated lectures and that one had been pretty bad. All he wanted to do now was go back to his room, curl up on the couch and have a nice cup of hot chocolate. Yes, that sounded nice.

But first came dinner, so he followed Hiro into the cafeteria. They both ordered the food that looked edible and took a seat at a table already occupied by Eiri. None of them talked. There was only one topic on all their minds, and it wasn't easy to talk about it. It wasn't easy to get the words right in their own heads even. But Suguru had another thing on his mind. The conversation he'd over heard between Ayaka and Taki. It troubled him. But what could he do? Go to the police? No, he had no proof. Taki would get away with it and be madder than ever. Tell Eiri or Hiro? Definitely not, they'd kill him. Not that he cared for Taki's welfare, but he didn't need them becoming murderers. It would not help at all.

He continued to push his food around on his plate with his chopsticks. Sushi today, it was his favourite, but he just couldn't eat anything. He didn't notice Hiro watching him closely, or the smirk that crossed his face. He did however notice when the chopsticks were snatched out of his hands.

"HEY!" Hiro just smiled.

"Fuji-Chaaaaan, you should eat up." Hiro expertly used the chopsticks to pick up a bit of Suguru's sushi.

"Open up," Hiro said in a singsong voice as he moved the chopsticks closer to Suguru, making plane sounds. Suguru went very red and batted the chopsticks away, knocking both the chopsticks and the sushi onto the floor. He stood up quickly, still seething. You could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.

"STOP TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD! I'M QUITE CAPABLE OF FEEDING MYSELF!" He gave one great angry sigh and stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving a shocked Hiro and an amused Eiri.

"Well, what crawled up his ass and died?" the dark haired teen asked.

"PMT," muttered Eiri as he continued to eat his dinner, trying not to laugh.

Hiro just frowned and glared at where Suguru had been. Honestly, he had only been trying to lighten the mood. The way they were all acting you would think someone had died. Or maybe Hiro was just too used to being around Shuichi.

Eiri stood then, his dinner only half finished.

"I'll go after him. He might just bite your head off." Hiro glared even more.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri searched all over the school for that baka and still he couldn't find him. He was starting to regret offering to look for Suguru. That boy was more trouble than he was worth sometimes. Eiri was just about to give up when he entered the library, and over a book, that was upside down, he could see a green head. He sat down opposite Suguru and waited for the boy to acknowledge him.

It took a few seconds but soon the book was set down on the table and closed with a gentle thump.

"So what's eating you?"

Suguru remained silent.

"Look I've known you since you were in diapers. You can't hide anything from me. Spill."

"It's nothing." Suguru muttered quietly. Eiri didn't look convinced and raised an eye brow.

"Uh huh, and you didn't just scream at Hiro in front of the whole cafeteria and then storm out. That was your identical twin who we've never met, right?

"Something like that."

Eiri rolled his eyes, Suguru was just so...impossible sometimes. It drove him crazy.

"I just...Ayaka...I never...FORGET IT!" Suguru yelled, as he stopped himself just in time from telling Eiri. He sounded angry with himself. Just as he was about to leave Eiri grabbed the boy's arm.

"What about Ayaka?" he said in a calm dangerous tone, anything to do with Ayaka was not good, and Eiri felt he deserved to know. After all, he was the one who had to deal with her for all those years. His grip tightened around Suguru's arm and the boy winced. Just thinking about Ayaka made him see red.

"Eiri...Eiri, your hurting me." It was then Eiri notice the hand on his, trying to pry strong fingers from around the small arm. And the expression on Suguru's face...fright. Eiri instantly looked down at the ground and had the good grace to look ashamed. He'd been gripping Suguru's arm a bit harder than need be and was sure the boy would probably have a hand shaped bruised wrapped around his arm in the morning.

"I'm sorry."

"That's ok. Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have tried to hide it from you...but...I don't want you doing anything stupid. Please, promise me if I tell you, you won't do anything stupid."

Eiri nodded, it was as good a promise Suguru would be getting.

"I over heard Ayaka talking to someone... By the sound of it, she's the one who asked him to attack Shuichi."

Eiri was on his feet so fast it was as if he'd been standing all along. His eyes darkened dangerously, his hands twitched as if he longed to hit something. Suguru backed away slightly. That was exactly why Suguru didn't want to tell Eiri.

"Who?" Eiri's voice was dangerously quiet. "Who did she get to do it?" His voice was so icy and dangerous that Suguru shivered.

"Taki...I...I don't know his first name...I...Eiri, wait!"

Eiri was now storming out of the library, hate waves radiated off him and people ran so fast out of his way the corridor was soon deserted. Suguru stood still for a second. Should he go get someone or should he follow Eiri?

"I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him," Eiri muttered as he stormed down the corridor.

"Eiri..." Suguru closed his eyes tight as if he could make all his troubles go away by doing so.

"EIRI!" he clenched his hands into fist and ran after the seething blond.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri was pissed. No he was beyond pissed, he was bloody murderous. He didn't know who he wanted to find first, that damn bitch Ayaka or that evil bastard Taki.

Oh yes, it would have to be Taki. Taki was one of those people who thought way too much of himself and was filled with his own self importance. His fists clenched and he gave a mean, slightly mad laugh. Only utter hate drove him now. He ignored the pleading of the green-haired boy following him.

"Eiri, please stop. You promised. THIS ISN'T GOING TO HELP! EIRI!"

They were now in the cafeteria. Eiri looked around for the familiar group of three men. He'd never liked them much, they were loud, rude and bullies. He'd always longed for an excuse to do something about them, and this was perfect. He spotted them then; all three of them sitting around the table, directly in the middle of the room, laughing and joking, being as loud as ever.

He was just about to walk towards their table when a warm, heavy something latched into his arm. Suguru may not look it, but he was pretty strong.

"Eiri, stop and think for a second please. This isn't going to help Shuichi. PLEASE!"

Eiri was beyond pissed now. How could Suguru do that, how could Suguru defend that evil son of a bitch, stop Eiri from giving Taki what he so rightly deserved. He was now so angry at Suguru and everyone else he was beyond reason. He longed to hit the boy who clung desperately to his arm trying to stop him.

Both were so preoccupied they didn't notice the eyes of everyone on them, and the fact that the place had gone so silent their voiced echoed.

"Let. Go." It was a warning, his voice showing his anger, eyes flashing. Suguru shook his head.

Hiro watched all this in a state of alarm. Eiri looked ready to kill, and Suguru was clinging to the blonde's arm for dear life.

"Please don't. Please!" the green-haired teen kept shouting.

By now dinner had been forgotten. Some people had run out in alarm. Some people were now watching the scene play out in front of them. But the look on Eiri face scared Hiro the most. The way his fist trembled, Eiri looked frightening. But that wasn't what scared him, he was scared for Suguru, he was scared that the younger boy would get hurt. And the thought of Suguru getting hurt, of another friends getting hurt, made him ache.

Eiri by now had lost his cool. His whole body shook with rage.

"GET OFF ME, YOU STUPID LITTLE BOY!"

Eiri shook his arm, hard. He lifted Suguru about two feet off the ground, then threw him into a table. There was a crack as Suguru's body hit the table, and a small gasp from the boy. Then his body fell to the ground with a thump. There was a collective gasp from the student body, and a few girls even screamed and dashed away in fright.

"SUGURU!" Hiro screamed, just as the boy his the floor. Hiro's chest clenched painfully as he watched the boy's body hit the table then the floor. He was at the green-haired teen side before anyone had a chance to react.

"Suguru? SUGURU? Are you ok?" He shook the boys shoulder slightly, and smiled when he realized the boy hadn't passed out. He was just a bit dazed. He looked up at Hiro with tears of pain in his eye. Hiro gently helped the boy sit up and Suguru leaned against him as a wave of nausea hit him.

Eiri stared in horror at what he'd done. Suguru wasn't hurt seriously. In fact apart from feeling slightly sick and bruised, he was fine. But he could have hurt him badly and Eiri suddenly felt sick. He sat down weakly into the nearest chair, his thoughts of killing Taki momentarily forgotten.

Hiro was still sitting on the floor next to Suguru, both arms wrapped around the boy gently to support him.

"Are you ok?" he asked again. Slightly more calm than the first time, now he knew Suguru wasn't hurt badly.

Suguru didn't say anything at first, just looked up at Hiro. Then, unexpectedly he smiled. A broad grin that spread all over his face and made him seemingly to light up.

"You called me, Suguru."

Hiro looked slightly surprised and confused for a second, before it suddenly clicked. He had indeed called Suguru by his given name, shouted it in fact.

"Yeah, sorry about that." he smiled sheepishly.

Suguru shook his head, still smiling.

"I liked it."

Hiro felt Suguru might have bumped his head harder than he thought, but he decided to ignore it for now and concentrate on getting Suguru to his dorm room and getting him to rest.

He looked up then and spotted Eiri, looking slightly pale and not quite so angry. But Hiro felt it hard to feel any pity for the pale looking blond.

"What do you think you were doing!" It was Hiro's turn to be raving mad.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

Hiro still felt angry and wasn't about to forgive him so easily. He was shocked however when Suguru spoke and no trace of anger was in his voice.

"It's ok, Eiri. At least I got you to stop. Please, just think about what your actions could mean. Especially to Shuichi. It won't help him if you end up in prison." Eiri nodded and muttered sorry again.

Hiro pulled Suguru to his feet and half carried, half dragged him out of the cafeteria and towards the building that held their dorms.

"Don't be angry at, Eiri." Hiro's eyes widened even more. Surely Suguru wasn't about to defend Eiri.

"He was just a little mad. I told him something I shouldn't have. It's not his fault. It's mine. Please don't be angry."

"Just because he was angry at you, doesn't give him a reason to hurt you!" Hiro said outraged.

"He wasn't mad at me; I told him something...that got him mad at someone else. And I had to stop him, I had to get in the way. If his anger had been allowed to run its full course then he probably would have killed him."

"Killed who?"

"It doesn't matter...I'll tell you later. I think I need to lie down right now." Hiro nodded and continued to lead Suguru down the hall.

They arrived at Suguru's dorm pretty quickly. As soon as they got to it, Hiro lead Suguru to the bedroom and sat him down on the edge of the bed (nothing's going to happen yet you perverts, sorry). He helped Suguru take his shoes off and then made the boy lie down.

"Get some rest now ok." Suguru nodded and snuggled into his pillows hugging them. Then, he closed his eyes with a sigh.

'How cute!' Hiro smiled to himself.

Hiro went over to the window and drew the curtains tightly, making sure not even the smallest ray of light could get though.

"I'll wait in the living room for a bit in case you need me, ok?" he whispered. Suguru nodded sleepily but gave no other reply.

Hiro sat on the sofa but didn't turn the TV on; he stared at the black screen. He didn't know why he stayed really. Suguru was quite fine. But he couldn't help but worry about the teen. He tried to act older than his years, but Suguru was still so small and the youngest in the building. Hiro couldn't help but worry.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri was pacing his room and he only did this when he was really mad or really stuck on an idea. Right now it was the former. He longed to lash out at something, but every time he thought of beating Taki to a bloody pulp Suguru would come to his mind.

_"...it won't help him if you end up in prison" _

Eiri punched his fist into the palm of his other hand. Damn that brat always being right. He knew that beating Taki wouldn't help Shuichi. It would make him feel a hell of a lot better though.

Eiri continued to pace. He had to do something about Taki, though. He couldn't stay around, not with Shuichi here. Eiri didn't want to risk another run in with Taki. Shuichi might just end up actually killing himself. But what could he do. He had to do something, for Shuichi, he wouldn't let that bastard Taki get to him again. Not if his life depended on it.

He stalked to the door full of determination, he would get rid of Taki somehow, and he wouldn't go to jail either.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Taki lounged on the sofa staring into space. Ma-kun was in his room doing homework, Taki could hear the scratching of the pen, and Ken had gone to the library. Taki didn't have the TV on or anything. He wanted to give Ma-kun some peace.

He thought again of the look on Yuki's face in the cafeteria and shuddered. He knew Yuki of course; it was because of Ayaka that Yuki currently wanted his head on a silver platter. Taki sighed again, he really got himself into some messed up situations. He laughed to himself.

He was a real idiot sometimes. He didn't even know why he was doing this, it was all Ayaka's fault damn it. He wasn't really going to rape the pink haired idiot just scare him, but not rape. Was he? He couldn't really be sure. He had to admit the boy was very cute.

Taki shook his head. This was stupid. He didn't know why he was worrying so much. He was just about to go to his room when there was a knock on the door. Taki glared at the door; surely Ken hadn't forgotten his key? Wait the door wasn't even locked. Was it? He shrugged.

He open the door prepared to give the normally organized Ken a lecture, he rarely got a chance to annoy Ken about anything like this so he was going to enjoy it. But it wasn't Ken at the door. Taki backed away slowly into the room.

"What do you want?" he shouted at the towering blond. He could almost feel the anger radiate off him, even though the blonde's expression was calm. As Taki backed away, he strode into the room shutting the door behind him.

"Hello. Taki." He took a few quick steps and was standing right in front of the scared brunette. Taki gulped as Yuki grabbed the neck of his shirt and lifted him up a few feet before throwing him onto the sofa.

"Now, you're going to sit there nice and quiet and listen to me. Maybe then I won't kill you." Taki sat in a nervous silence. Yuki was still smiling sinisterly, looking as if he'd strangle Taki to death at any moment.

"Now I know it was you who attacked Shuichi." Yuki looked angry now, very angry, golden eyes had darkened so much they looked brown.

"So you have one option, you will leave this University, transfer, drop out of school, I don't care. But you will leave, and you will never go near Shuichi again. Understood?"

After getting over the initial shock, Taki was getting a bit braver, and also mad.

"What makes you think I'll leave just because you said so?"

Yuki smiled again.

"If you leave, I won't kill you."

Taki shuddered. Yuki didn't look like he was joking, but Taki wasn't one to be pushed around. He stood up, his bravery growing by the second.

"I have no idea what you're talking about anyway. Now leave before I get the University's security up here." Taki was standing by the door now. He was just about to open it when Yuki grabbed his shoulder and shoved him sharply into the wall. Taki gave a gasp of pain but looked Yuki straight in the eye.

"Now that was a stupid move," Yuki growled. He raised his fist and with all his might threw it at Taki. Taki closed his eyes tightly ready for the impact, but none came. There was a thud and a cracking sound. Yuki had punched the wall and the plaster was now falling away around his fist. There was a small dent in the wall too.

"I don't want you near Shuichi. Do you know what you drove him too? He nearly killed himself. I should do to you what he did to himself. Do you know what he did? He slit both his wrist, so deep they wouldn't stop bleeding even when I covered them with a makeshift bandage. Or maybe I should do that to someone you love, so you can see them in a pool of their own blood, slowly dieing. How would that make you feel, huh? Or do you not feel anything? Is it only yourself you care about? You just use people as a means to get what you want, and stuff the consequences."

Taki shuddered. Yuki sounded serious, and Taki was scared now. An image of Ma-kun, lying on the ground, covered in blood came to his mind and he couldn't get rid of it. Yuki was still talking but he couldn't make out the words.

"Hey, what the hell is going on?" Ma-kun came out of his room, a look of surprise on his face. He spotted Yuki and Taki standing near the door.

"Let him go," he said calmly to Yuki as he strode over to where the two stood. Yuki sneered.

"I'm trying to teach your friend a lesson. Please don't get involved unless you want to get hurt."

Ma-kun frowned.

"Let him go now!" Ma-kun made to run and attack Yuki but the tall blond was faster. One punch in the stomach immobilized Ma, another punch to the face sent the boy flying backwards.

Ma-kun sat up, blood flowing from his nose. It looked broken. Taki blanched, feeling sick.

"Leave him alone!" Taki yelled as Yuki made to continue the fight the Ma-kun. "He had nothing to do with it, leave him alone!"

Yuki smiled, as if he'd just found out something to his advantage. He looked from Ma-kun to Taki. Taki was shaking and Ma-kun looked confused. Yuki looked satisfied, as if he knew victory was within reach. But it was Ma-kun who spoke first.

"Taki, what the hell have you done now? You stupid idiot" His angry gaze focused on his friend, the blood still running down his face, his words slurred slightly because of his broken nose.

Yuki moved back to stand in front of Taki, and whispered so only he could hear.

"Three days, three days to pack and get the hell out of here, or else it won't be just a broken nose that your friend gets away with next time. Understand?" Taki nodded still shaking slightly. Yuki patted his shoulder.

"I never want to see you again." And Yuki left. Taki slid down the wall and landed on the floor in a heap. Ma-kun still sat where he'd fallen, glaring at Taki.

"So? Are you going to tell me what got that guy so pissed?"

Taki looked at the ground and told his friend in a monotone whisper. Ma-kun sat in a stunned silence and then punched him. Taki just sat there and let him, feeling a trickle of blood fall from his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Ma-kun."

"It's not me you should be apologizing to!" Taki looked up at his friend who now sat in front of him. Blood now stained the front of his shirt and his chin and lips. Taki reached out and cupped the others cheek.

"Does hurt?"

"Like a bitch, but I'll live." Taki's hand dropped and he stood, holding out his hand to help Ma-kun up.

"We should get you to a hospital."

"Nah it's ok. I don't think it's broken, just bruised." Ma-kun held out his hand and Taki pulled him to his feet.

"I'm gonna clean up." Taki just nodded mutely.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ma-kun soon came out of the bathroom, face clean, pinching his nose to stop the bleeding. Now that he'd cleaned his face Taki could see an angry purple bruise start to form. The bruise spread over his nose and left eye. It was a miracle his nose hadn't been broken. But judging by the way he winced every now and then, it hurt just as much.

"So, what are you going to do?" Ma-kun asked seriously. Taki sighed.

"I don't know... I don't see why should listen to that bastard." His old arrogance was back in his voice. Ma-kun sighed. Taki was way too arrogant, but he was also his friend as well, mores the pity. And no matter what Taki did, he would be there for him.

'What am I getting myself into?'

Ma-kun, unlike Taki wasn't stupid and knew when to give up. Taki however was too arrogant for his own good and did not like being bossed about. Yuki would have to bodily throw him out of the university...if he didn't kill him first.

Ma-kun sighed; he needed to think of a way to get Taki to leave. He'd even go with him to make sure he stayed away from Eiri Yuki. Yuki was scary, Ma-kun decided. He'd seen the glint in the taller man's eye, pure loathing shone there and a thirst for revenge. Not that Ma-kun could really blame him.

But he had to protect Taki, he just had too. Even though Taki was the world greatest and most hated bastard, he loved him. Ma-kun shook his head, realizing he'd zoned out and Taki was now staring at him questioningly.

"You ok?" Taki said, actually sounding concerned.

"Fine...but we need to leave. Transfer I think. Yes...it would be best."

Taki looked outraged at first, then Ma-kun's word sang into his brain.

"We...?"

Ma-kun smiled, or at least tried to as he was still pinching his nose, and it hurt to even talk.

"You didn't think I'd let you go on your own did you? Who knows what would happen to you."

Taki grinned. Ma-kun and Ken were the only people who Taki was nice too. They were also the only people who could deal with his overly large ego.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hiro had fallen asleep on the sofa for lack of anything better to do. He didn't put on the TV because he didn't want to disturb Suguru and he didn't have his bag with him, so no book or even homework to do. And so that's how Suguru found him, curled up on the sofa, his wild hair floating everywhere.

Suguru kneeled in front of the sofa and brushed the hair from Hiro's face.

"Thank you," Suguru whispered and kissed Hiro gently on the forehead. He stood then, blushing furiously and went to the little kitchen area to get something to eat.

'I can't believe I just did that! Thank God he didn't wake up.' Suguru let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and tried to calm his pounding heart. Which was currently trying to fight its was through his rib cadge and up his throat at the same time.

Suguru took a few deep breaths before grabbing a can of soda and a pack of crisps (or chips if you're American).

Suguru went back to the living area and frowned. He had nowhere to sit. Hiro was occupying the only sitting place he had. Suguru sighed. Looks like he'd have to sit on the floor then. Suguru made himself as comfy as he could, his back to the sofa, and he began to eat his snack.

He stopped when a hand moved lazily through his hair. Looking up Suguru saw a sleepy Hiro, now awake sitting up and smiling at him.

"You could have just woken me up if you wanted to sit down, you know? It's your dorm room."

Suguru smiled. "I didn't want to wake you." Suguru stood and sat on the bit of sofa Hiro had cleared for him. Suguru suddenly realized how small the two-seater sofa was. Hiro was so close he could feel the warmth radiating off him.

"So where's my snack?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll get you one now!" Glad for a reason to get up, Suguru dashed to the kitchen and returned with a drink and bag of crisp/chips for Hiro. Hiro was laughing.

"You know, I was only kidding. No need to get yourself all wound up." Suguru tried to glare at Hiro as he sat down, but it was hard to glare at someone who was laughing so happily. Suguru threw the bag of crisps at Hiro and they caught him on the side of the head.

"Well I got them for you so you can damn well eat them." Hiro grinned and obeyed.

"When will Shuichi be allowed out of the hospital?" Suguru asked.

"Next week if everything goes ok." Hiro sounded relieved. "But he'll probably have to go see a physiatrist again." Hiro frowned at this. He hated those doctors. They were so damn annoying and acted as if they knew everything.

"But don't worry. Shuichi will be ok. We'll make sure of that," he turned to Suguru and gave him a little wink. "Right?"

Suguru nodded.

"Right!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri was now tidying the room. He'd let it get into a hell of a mess when Shuichi had been in hospital, and the boy would be back soon. Shuichi couldn't come back to a pigsty. He winced every now and then as his hand gave a dull throb, as if scolding him for doing something as stupid as punching a wall.

He looked at his fist, it was grazed slightly, not bleeding but it was starting to go purple. He glared at it. Damn that stupid bastard. He continued to tidy up, still glowering angrily at various inanimate objects.

After tidying the living room, Eiri moved to the bedroom. This area was tidier, but not by much. After clearing his desk, Eiri noticed his laptop. It was still on and had been on since last night. He was just about to shut it off when he noticed what document was open. It was the one that he'd written when he'd come back from the hospital for the first time. It was extremely strange to him. It wasn't a story, more like a poem.

He stared at the words, trying to get them to make some sort of sense. He sighed as he closed the document and then shut the computer down. He really did write some stupid things when he was worried. And he'd been particularly worried that night. No, scratch than, he'd been scared to death.

He had the vaguest memory of typing something; his fingers seemed to move with a life of their own as his brain was lost in thought. Eiri was just about to delete the document, but he stopped. Something was telling him not to, even though he had no idea what to do with it. It certainly wasn't suitable for any book he was currently writing. Eiri sighed and closed the document and shut down the machine. Eiri continued to tidy up, humming a Nittle Grasper song to himself. It was something that he had sworn never to do, but after listening to them non-stop at Shuichi's bed side, it was kinda hard not to.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Suguru was very reluctant to let Hiro go, but he could think of no good excuse to make the older teen stay. He thought for a moment, to complain about his bruises, make the pain seem worst than it was. Hiro would stay then, he knew, but he just couldn't face the guilt of making the tall man sleep on his sofa. It was definitely was not a suitable bed for anyone, anything, in any size, shape or form.

So, reluctantly, Suguru watched the older teen leave. Hiro walked with a spring in his step. Happy. Suguru watched his every move, watched the way the long hair danced around his broad back.

Suguru longed to call him back, longed to hug him, hold him and never let go.

Hiro had long since disappeared around a corner, out of sight, but most definitely not out of mind. Suguru thought of him all the time. Every thought he had that wasn't about him, turned to him somehow. Suguru thought the most of what he could never have, for it was still clear to him Hiro still loved K.

He still refused to go to English classes, and on Suguru's request, more like clever nagging, Hiro was looking at other subject to replace it. None had caught his attention yet. At least none that his parents would approve of anyway.

Suguru didn't realize he was crying until his vision began to blur. Suguru brushed away the wetness gently, as if testing it was really there. The moment his fingers touched the tear trails, he could hold the tears no longer. He slid to the floor and let the full stream of tears loose, like a great dam finally breaking.

No sobs escaped his throat though. His cries were silent, unnoticed. Like him.

Once he was sure they had slowed down, he brushed away at the trickles angrily. He quickly walked inside and shut the door with a snap. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.

Suguru walked over to the sofa and collapsed on it. He could still faintly smell Hiro's aftershave lingering in the air. He breathed it in and smiled. He was being was too emotionally lately.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shuichi wanted to scream. He wanted to punch smoothing. Hell, he'd even be glad to have a doctor to shout at. But no, all he had were the white walls. He slammed his head into the pillows repeatedly.

He was so bored! He wanted to go home.

But, where was home? He had no home. He didn't belong anywhere.

A memory of Eiri flashed in his mind, the feel of Eiri's arms wrapped around him, his smell. Shuichi sighed.

He also thought of Hiro, who had done so much for him, and Suguru who always seemed to have great advice.

He remembered the speech Suguru had given him.

'Don't let the fear win'

These words still ran through his mind. He didn't want to let his fear win, but he was weak and his pain was so strong. It was easier said than done.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Suguru wanted someone to talk to. It was ok being the one who gave advice to people, but where did the advice giver go for advice? He shook his head.

Tatsuha was out of the question. He could be serious, to an extent, but Suguru just couldn't cope with him right now. Plus, Hiro might overhear. Eiri had his own problems. There was Hikari, but Suguru felt he didn't know her well enough to unload his problems onto her.

Then it hit him. He'd go visit Shuichi. Even if he couldn't talk, they could keep each other company. Suguru was sure Shuichi was probably dieing of boredom.

So, he grabbed his jacket and headed for the hospital. He hoped Shuichi wouldn't mind a visitor.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

There was still an hour left of visiting hours by the time Suguru arrived at the hospital. He had stopped on the way to buy a new pad of paper and pen for Shuichi. He'd noticed that the one Shuichi normally used was looking full.

He'd bought the pen just for the sake of it. It was a nice pen and wrote smoothly.

After getting lost five times and ending up on the maternity ward at one point, Suguru finally arrived at Shuichi's room. He knocked on the door, to alert the boy that someone was coming in, he the opened the door slowly.

"Mind if I come in?" Shuichi was sitting up in bed, a relieved expression on his face. He shook his head and motioned Suguru to sit down. The green-haired teen smiled.

"Here, I got this for you." Suguru handed the pen and writing pad over. Shuichi looked delighted and he quickly scribbled a note.

'Thank you.'

Suguru smiled.

"No problem. I noticed a while ago that you'd need a new one soon." Shuichi gave a small smile and waited for Suguru to say more, or explain why he was there.

He was quiet for a while, both teens just staring blankly into the distance.

"Shuichi, do you have someone you love?"

The pink-haired boy looked surprised and blushed pink for a moment as he thought. He thought of his family, of his friends...and...of Eiri. Slowly, he nodded.

Suguru smiled.

"Have you ever loved someone and not been able to tell them?" Shuichi shook his head.

'I can just write it down'

Suguru laughed at the little note, and how naïve the boy could be.

"No, I mean when you love someone, in that way. In a way when you always want to be with them, want to kiss them and hold them, do you understand what I mean?" Shuichi nodded. Thinking of Eiri again, he blushed.

'Who do you love?'

Suguru read the note, but gave no reply.

"It's so hard to tell them, when they love someone else. When all they feel for you is friendship...when," he sobbed, "when they can't even see you because they're blinded by the love they hold for someone who doesn't feel the same." Suguru felt the tears run down his cheeks again and felt ashamed of himself.

Shuichi leaned forward and gently stroked Suguru's hair, trying to comfort him. Suguru cried silently, saying nothing. Shuichi gently stroking his hair, the touch was soft and gentle, like a mother comforting a child.

"Gomen, your problems are greater than mine. I shouldn't be bothering you with my petty problems."

Shuichi shook his head and wrote something down.

'It's good to talk about how you feel. I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me. Thank you.'

"Thank you, Shuichi." Suguru wiped his cheeks viciously, getting rid of the wet trails. Shuichi wrote something else.

'You should tell Hiro how you feel.'

"NANI!" Suguru jumped out of his chair as he read that. His face was now as red as a tomato.

"How...I mean...what makes you think it's Hiro?" Suguru tried to put on an air of innocence and disbelief, but he failed miserably. He sat back down still red.

'It's not that hard to see. Hiro's just being an idiot.'

Suguru blushed redder.

"I can't."

'Don't let the fear win!'

Suguru blanched slightly then smiled weakly, holding back a laugh at that. To have his own words thrown back at him was rather uncomfortable and embarrassing, but also quite funny. He smiled at Shuichi.

"I'll make a promise with you." Shuichi sat up straighter, curious.

"I'll gather all my courage and one day tell Hiro my feelings, if you promise to try and get better and never scare us like that again."

Shuichi nodded slowly, not sure if he could keep the promise, but he sure would try. Try for his friends. Suguru seemed to realize this too. He knew he was asking a lot from Shuichi.

"And if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can come and unload any of your problems onto me, and I won't complain no matter how silly they are, ok!" He smiled and Shuichi nodded.

They talked about various things after that, playing hangman and listening to Shuichi's CDs. The hour flew by and Shuichi didn't want Suguru to leave, but the nurse was a very fearsome one and not even Eiri could have charmed her into letting him stay.

Suguru said goodbye to Shuichi and left, looking apologetic. But Shuichi was happier now. Suguru had also bought him a little puzzle book. Shuichi wouldn't be so bored now, after all.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

By the time Suguru left the too familiar building, it was dark and cold. He tugged his coat tighter around his body and walked faster. There were still buses running at this time, but after digging through his pocket Suguru found he didn't have change so he decided to walk. The walk would do him good anyway; help blow the cobwebs from his mind.

The walk from the hospital wouldn't be a long one. If he took all the short cuts and walked quickly he would be home within forty minutes. The autumn breeze blew, carrying the multicoloured leaves with it in a waltz like dance.

The wind tugged at his green hair as he walked, much like the way it tugged at the blades of grass on the ground. He could feel his face turn pink from the slight chill. He tugged his jacket tighter around his body, tugging at the collar and trying to get it to cover his face. Yet the wind still blew right through his clothes, its icy fingers pinching him. He cursed the thin material of the jacket and muttered darkly to himself.

He'd only been walking about ten minutes when he felt it, the slow creeping sensation of eye burning into his back. It made him shiver. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He could feel someone staring at him.

A sea of people jostled around him. Looking around he could not see anyone he recognized. He shook his head and brushed the strange feeling off as his imagination. But he still walked quicker, tugging his coat tighter around his small frame. There was no chance anyone was following him, no chance anyone was watching him. It was nonsense. He scoffed at his tired brain playing cruel tricks on him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A man stood in the shadow of the many buildings, his eyes trained on a head of familiar green hair. He smiled softly as he watched the boy walk. He did not follow him; he made no move to follow him. He only let his eyes follow the boy. The man was no different to the other people in the town, at first glance anyway, and everyone merely walked past him, ignoring him as well as they ignore everyone else, too busy with their own task to concentrate on one man.

But there was something strange about the man. His smile was cold and distant, his eyes were hollow and held no sparkle or any sign of like. He merely stood there, watching as the teen vanished from his sight.

"It's been a long time, hitorimusuko."

Only the wind and cold building heard his whisper.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

hitorimusuko - only son

Angelic Scars: Well there you have it, chapter 12! Arnt you happy with me Ok...bad news...chapter 13 probly wont be up untill near or after christmas, see...i haven written it yet ;

Reader: (all ready with pitch forks and rotten fruit)

Angelic Scars: eeek, please dont hurt me! (runs and hides)

Muse-chan: ok you like it, REVIEW, you dont like it, REVIEW (is packing her bags) im going on my christmas holidays now, Ja.

Angelic Scars: Muse chan be nice. Please review The next chapter will get written soon, i promise.


	15. Tadaima Chapter 13

Well look who rose from the dead and added another chapter! ME! YAY!

Muse-Chan: You are too loud, take it down a notch!

Me: awww cheerup!

Muse-chan:...¬¬ why are you doing this to me?

Me:Because i love you!

Muse-chan: Just get on with the story, the reader do not want to read you random crap

Me: ;; still so mena...(Sniff) ON WITH THE STORY!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri ran around the dorm like a greyhound without a racing track, going in no direction for more than five seconds. He gathered random items up in his arms and threw them into random places.

So far, the rubbish had ended up in the cupboard under the sink, the dirty laundry had ended up in the bin, old magazines and newspapers lay in the wardrobe in his room. In fact, _everything_ was in the wrong place, but Eiri didn't seem to notice. As long as whatever he picked up got put away—so long as the place at least seemed tidy—he didn't care. He just had to get the place tidy.

There was an impatient knock at the door, and Eiri raced at breakneck speed towards it. Dropping whatever he was currently holding (the breakfast dishes) into a drawer in his desk.

"Hurry up! We need to be there in twenty minutes. Twenty!" Hiro looked both excited and anxious as he bounced from foot to foot.

"No way! You're early. It's only...," Eiri looked at his watch, "HOLY COW! WE ONLY HAVE TWENTY MINUTES LEFT!" Eiri dashed back into the dorm, ran into the kitchen, gathered the dishes up and threw them into the sink. The crashing of china reached the ears of Hiro and Suguru, who were both waiting at the door. Hiro winced at the sound.

'Oh well,' he thought, 'now I know what to get him for Christmas.'

Eiri was out the door, keys in hand, and halfway down the corridor before either teen had noticed.

"Come on. Hurry or we'll be late," Eiri shouted as he raced down the corridor like a bat out of Hell, Hiro and Suguru hot on his heels.

The reason why Eiri, Hiro and Suguru were currently acting as if the building was on fire? Shuichi was being let out of the hospital. Finally he would be allowed back. None of them could wait; they had missed the silent pink-haired boy.

Eiri drove them to the hospital, Suguru and Hiro sat in the back, holding tightly to their seat, knuckles turning white at the breakneck speed Eiri was currently driving at. Eiri was currently breaking so many driving laws and speed limits Hiro had lost count. Suguru was currently muttering something under his breath that sounded very much like a prayer.

Eiri was currently ignoring them, his only objective to get to the hospital as fast as possible. Hiro had a feeling that very soon they'd be arriving at the hospital in an ambulance.

ooooooooooooooooooo

By some miracle, or the consequence of Suguru's praying, they arrived at the hospital in one piece, and, while Hiro went to take care of the papers, Eiri and Suguru went to Shuichi's room.

Shuichi sat on the bed, a small bag sitting next to him. The bag was already packed, nothing left in the room to show that Shuichi had even been there. The said boy was dressed, washed, and long ready to leave. When the two entered the room, he jumped off the bed and walked over to the door.

Eiri, being the gentleman he was, took Shuichi's bag for him. Suguru walked ahead and Shuichi fell into step next to the green-haired teen, Eiri bringing up the rear. Neither said anything but everyone was excited, the whole air around the small group felt happy.

Shuichi looked over at Suguru and gave him a weak smile. It looked as if Shuichi had long ago forgotten how to smile and was only now learning how to smile again. Suguru smiled back, his smile just as diluted. Both set clear messages to each other. So they hadn't quite gotten over their fears yet, but the fear hadn't won either.

When they reached the reception area, they were greeted by a flustered looking Hiro, whose eyes were skimming so fast over the paper that his eyes were in danger of doing 360˚ turns in his skull. A pen was held loosely in one hand, gently tapping on the desk. The nurse who sat behind said desk glared dangerously at Hiro, who didn't even seem to notice the nurse existed let alone was sending him death glares.

When Shuichi came into view he instantly relaxed. Dropping the clipboard and pen onto the desk he walked over to his friend.

"Hey Shu-chan, you had us all worried about you."

Shuichi looked sheepish at this. His mask slipping back on, but it didn't fool anyone for a moment. The bandages around his wrists were fresh and white, like newly fallen snow. His hair looked dull from lack of being able to wash it properly and the not so nourishing hospital food. His skin was paler and he looked thinner, but that fake smile on his face was so brilliant. Hiro just ruffled Shuichi's cotton candy hair sadly. He hated to see that smile, but it seemed to make Shuichi feel better to use it.

Eiri walked over to the desk and completed the paper work. He was much better at dealing with things like this. He signed in all the relevant places and soon they were off. They all piled into the car, Shuichi and Eiri in the front, Suguru, Hiro, and Shuichi's bag in the back.

The ride home was uneventful, except for when Eiri had turned sharply around a corner, sending Suguru falling into Hiro, which caused the poor teen to go very red and Shuichi to giggle to himself softly. Hiro instantly began asking if Suguru had a fever or something when the boy went red, which just caused his face to grow even redder.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was a Sunday so there were no classes; most of the students were either out on the grounds, in the buildings, or out around Tokyo. The atmosphere was calm and peaceful. Shuichi got out of the car and looked around, his eyes darkening somewhat with fear or anxiety. One hand wrapped around his wrist self-consciously. He was scared to be back, but he didn't want to go home either. He had made a promise to himself to see this through and stay until he finished Uni or until he was thrown out, whichever came first.

The four of them pilled into the dorm room he shared with Eiri. Shuichi plopped himself down on the sofa and curled up onto it, sighing in relief and glad to be back in familiar surroundings. Eiri went into the kitchen area to get drinks for everyone. Suguru sat next to Shuichi and Hiro sat in the armchair near the sofa. They were all happy to have Shuichi back, but no one now knew what to say. One wrong move and Shuichi could spiral deeper into his depression, and nd none of them would be able to handle it if Shuichi got hurt again.

Eiri felt a vicious satisfaction knowing that one of Shuichi's problems was dealt with. Taki was gone. He had seen the coward escaping in a taxi with one of his friends, never to return. And Ayaka… Well Eiri still wasn't sure what to do about her, but he knew he had to make her suffer. This was all her doing; the stupid, jealous, possessive witch. Eiri's emotions must have been showing on his face because the other three were currently looking at him in alarm, as if they expected him to jump on them and attack at any moment.

Eiri smiled, and reassured them that he was not about to attack and rip their throat out. The others visibly relaxed and fell into easy conversation about random things, trying to avoid mentioning anything about hospitals and knives.

At around noon, Eiri got a call. Sighing in annoyance he answered the phone, three pairs of curious eye watching him.

"Moshi, moshi." Eiri said politely.

"Onii-chan!" came the sugary sweet shout. Tatsuha was trying to be cute, he definitely wanted something.

"Tatsuha, you live in the next building. Why the hell are you calling me!"

"Because I need to talk to you privately."

Eiri rolled his eyes and sighed. He had two options, say no and try to ignore his brother and be pestered by said brother for the next week. Or go talk to his brother, be utterly annoyed by said brother and hopefully live peacefully. Decisions, decisions.

"Fine. I'll be over in a moment." There was a whoop of joy on the other end then the line went dead. Eiri glared at the phone. Brothers!

"Please excuse me. I'll be right back."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What do you want now, brat?"

"It's good to see you too, Nii-san!" Tatsuha replied brightly. Eiri glared again.

He walked into the room and made himself comfortable on the couch. Tatsuha was being surprisingly helpful. He poured Eiri some coffee, and even gave him a plateful of biscuits. Now Eiri knew this was bad. Tatsuha smiled sweetly. Definitely bad.

"Eiri…you know how everyone wants Nittle Grasper to play at the school's winter ball and you stop them ever year?" Very bad.

"No," Eiri said simply, standing up and heading for the door. Tatsuha latched onto his arm instantly.

"Wait! Hear me out, please!" he gave Eiri the patented puppy eyes. Eiri rolled his eyes again and fell back onto the sofa. Tatsuha smiled again.

"Listen, Shuichi likes Nittle Grasper a lot right?" Very, very, very bad. Tatsuha knew his weakness. "And Shuichi would love to see them play live." So doomed. "And it would really help him too. And everyone would have a good time." Dead. Eiri sighed. He could do without having Tohma at the ball. Noriko and Ryuichi he could handle, but not Tohma.

Again, he had two options. Have a Tohma free night of peace. Or make Shuichi extremely happy. There was no choice.

"Fine," he growled angrily. Tatsuha yelled loudly and glomped Eiri. He then grabbed the phone and dialled Ryuichi's number. He was already making the plans by the time Eiri was walking out the door.

Eiri smiled gently to himself. He had been planning on letting Nittle Grasper come, actually. They always wanted to come. Well, Ryuichi and Tohma wanted to come. Noriko would just be dragged along for the ride.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Eiri got back to his room he found Shuichi asleep and Hiro and Suguru getting ready to leave.

"Thanks Eiri...for everything," Hiro said quietly. Thanking him for more than just paying for the hospital bills and finding the boy and saving his life. Eiri had helped Shuichi a lot over the past weeks. It would take a long time, but Shuichi was finally starting to heal.

When they left, Eiri walked over to Shuichi and gently shook him awake. The sofa may be comfy but it was not suitable for sleeping on.

"You wanna go to bed?"

Shuichi nodded sleepily, rubbing his eyes and looking very cute. He stood up and walked over to the bedrooms, but instead of going to Eiri's room he entered his own. Eiri looked confused but he didn't say anything as Shuichi walked into the room and collapsed onto the bed. Eiri sat down on the bed and noticed as Shuichi moved away slightly.

Eiri began to worry. Shuichi was getting worse not better.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

Shuichi shook his head. Eiri felt his heart break. He only wanted to help Shuichi, but he couldn't force the boy to accept his help. Eiri would just have to be there to wake him from the nightmare when it came. Eiri nodded.

"Ok, sleep well, Shuichi," he said gently as he stroked Shuichi hair. He noticed the grateful look in Shuichi's eyes and left.

'Thank you for understanding,' the look had said.

Eiri sighed as he fell into the sofa again. He was worried. Shuichi had seemed distant all day.

'What happened to him?' Eiri wondered. He sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair, his ears on high alert for any sign of distress from Shuichi.

Why was Shuichi pushing him away now? Eiri sighed and restlessly flicked through the TV channels, not really watching anything.

ooooooooooo

Shuichi was curled up on the bed. He couldn't sleep. He felt bad for pushing Eiri away. He knew that he only wanted to help; he could see it in the blonde's eyes. It was the same look Hiro held for him all the time. Except Eiri's look wasn't as full of pity as Hiro's was.

Sighing angrily, Shuichi rolled over. His wrists lay in front of him, wrapped in the clean white bandages. He winced slightly as his wrists decided to make themselves noticed, the twinge of pain shooting up his arms. He began to unwrap the bandages around his wrist, slowly, tenderly. The bandages stuck to the wounded flesh and the pain that coursed through his arms as he ripped the bandage off made him want to scream. But he remained silent.

Finally, he was able to see his handy work. A single deep red cut on each wrist. The flesh around the cuts was red and starting to scab over. The wound itself was still red and fresh looking, but it had stopped bleeding long ago. He ran a thumb over one of the red lines. Just another new scar to add to his collection.

He sighed and closed his fist around the cut, not wanting to see it anymore. He longed more than anything for the warmth he felt from Eiri. Just sitting next to him made him feel safe in a way he hadn't felt in a long time, and it scared him so much he wanted to cry. He wanted to grab hold of it and never let go, but at the same time a need too push it as far away as possible.

Nothing could stay this good for long. If he held on, he would only get hut more. And yet...yet… Even if it was only for a short time—even if he would get hurt again—he wanted to reach out and grab at the warmth that was his to take. But his fear held him in place, laughing at his pathetic attempt to return to normality.

He curled into a tighter ball, still hugging one of his wrists to his chest so as not to see the cuts. Everything would be so much easier if he had just died. Then he wouldn't be here right now, worrying about hurting the few friends he had and afraid that he would push them so far away that they would never return.

A strangled sob escaped his lips but he smothered it into his pillow. Tears streamed down his cheeks in never ending torrents. The broken shards of his heart broke into even more pieces. He couldn't take it anymore. Why? Why had he lived? Why couldn't he just be allowed to die? Why did he never get what he wanted?

Eiri was too far away to hear the quiet sobs, muffled by a soft pillow. He was too far away to help. So Shuichi cried alone, with Eiri sitting feet away, waiting for any sign of distress from Shuichi.

ooooooooooooooo

Shuichi finally cried himself to sleep, his face buried in a damp pillow. His dreams were again filled with the nightmares of his past. He whimpered quietly but didn't cry out. He wouldn't...he wouldn't.

_It was the same dream. Always the same. The smell, the sight, the sound, the color. And the burning in his legs as he ran, ran, and ran until his chest hurt and his legs burned in pain. Still it followed him. He would shout occasionally…_

_"Leave me alone."_

_"Go away."_

_But it would just laugh at him. He screamed as it drew closer, the fear clenching his heart and stopping his legs, making him trip. He waited for the blow, for it to catch him. _

_A light._

_A whisper._

_"It's ok." _

_He looked up._

"Shuichi, Shuichi, wake up."

Shuichi blinked to find himself in his room, in bed. Safe. Eiri sat on the edge of his bed, shaking him awake gently. He looked worried. Shuichi took a moment to catch his breath and try to slow down his pounding heart. Eiri still sat there, not moving, waiting for any sign that it would be okay to hug Shuichi and tell him it was okay. He waited to comfort him. Shuichi sat up and nodded at Eiri. Giving him a look to tell him he was okay. Eiri nodded and left.

Shuichi sighed. He had wanted so much for Eiri to just hold him, but now he was treating him like a china doll and it was his fault. It was always his fault. Shuichi stood and left the room.

Eiri was already on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. Shuichi walked into the living room and curled up onto the armchair.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink?" Eiri asked. Shuichi shook his head. They remained in that uncomfortable silence until Eiri stood.

"I have to finish an essay. I'll be in my room if you need me." Shuichi nodded and Eiri left.

Once the blonde had gone, Shuichi bought his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and buried his head in his knees. He was crying again.

'I'm so weak'

He cursed himself. Hated himself. The tears fell soundlessly and Shuichi didn't make a move to brush them away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri couldn't stand it, sitting in that deadly silence, so he had run to his room with his tail between his legs.

Eiri was now doing what he often did when he couldn't think straight. He was sitting in front of his laptop, a blank document open, the cursor blinking mischievously at him. It was taunting him, sneering at him, laughing at him. He snapped the laptop shut and growled angrily. He walked over to the bed and fell onto it, sighing.

He stretched out and yawned. He was worried. Shuichi was different, more distant and frail than ever.

When Eiri had first met Shuichi, he instantly thought of a small, lost child who didn't have anyone to turn to. Alone and afraid. But now… Now he seemed like a shell. No one could get through to him. Nothing could get through to him.

Eiri closed his eyes and curled up on the bed.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shuichi examined the scars on his wrists; they were still fresh, brown as they started to heal. All he had to do was pick at the scabs and he'd start bleeding again. He'd see that wonderful red colour, such a bright colour to his grey life.

His fingertips brushed over his scars. His wrists began to tingle as he brushed them. He had to do it. He had to pick at the scabs. He had to cause more pain. Bleed…bleed the pain away.

_'Don't...please...'_

Shuichi arms fell limp at his side as an image of Eiri popped into his mind, his kind golden eyes looking softly at him. He still remembered the terrified look on the novelist's face, the terrified dead look as if the world was coming to an end.

He couldn't do that again. Not to Eiri. He sighed and hugged his pillow tightly to his belly, burying his face in it. The sheets were fresh and crisp and they felt nice compared to the coarse hospital blankets.

He thought of Hiro. His friend was mad at him, he could tell. He had promised never to cut himself again, never to hurt himself. But it was much easier said than done. Hiro seemed to be drifting away from him, too. Shuichi wanted to cry even more. He was driving everyone away and he hated it.

He was afraid, though; afraid that, if he reached out for the fragile happiness, it would shatter. His pain was real. It was strong, easy to grasp and hard to let go off.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Shuichi lying in a pool of crimson. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the impossibly pale boy lying on the flood, dieing. Lying in the hospital bed, looking so small and lost. Eiri muttered in his sleep and reached out for something that wasn't there. Someone who he longed to just hold and comfort.

Eiri awoke from his uneasy sleep and found he had been asleep for a few hours. He was surprised. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and sat up. He decided to at least try and talk to Shuichi. He got up and looked around for the boy. He wasn't in the kitchen, the living room or the bathroom. Which left only one option left. His bed room.

Eiri knocked the door gently. No answer so he slowly opened the door. Cursing quietly as it creaked, as if scolding him for something. Shuichi was asleep on the bed, hugging his pillow tightly and whimpering quietly in his sleep. His face was scrunched up in pain. Eiri walked quickly over to his bedside and knelt on the floor so their faces were level.

He knew if he sat on the bed or tried to hug Shuichi the boy would wake and things would be even worse than they already were. So, gently, he brushed his hand over Shuichi forehead, lifting stray strands of candyfloss hair out of Shuichi's eyes. He continued to gently stroke the boys face. Shuichi seemed to relax slightly. His expression relaxed and his muttering slowed down. Eiri smiled and continued to sit there, gently brushing his hand over Shuichi forehead.

Once he had stopped muttering and at last fallen into a peaceful sleep, Eiri stood and left. He didn't want to stay there longer than need be. He didn't want to scare Shuichi more.

Once the door had clicked shut, Shuichi opened his eyes. He had been awake for a while, but the gentle touch had been so nice. He remembered when his mother had sat with him one time. Shuichi had been really sick in bed and had had a high fever. His mother sat with him all night, gently brushing his warm forehead with her cool hand. The touch had been so gentle and sweet. Shuichi hugged the pillow tighter. He missed his mother so much.

He buried his face into the soft pillow and let he tears fall again.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri decided to cook Shuichi a big meal, whether the boy wanted it or not. He would cook it. He was just getting together the necessary items when the phone rang.

"Nani!" Eiri shouted angrily into phone. "This better be good."

"Onii-chan is meeeeeeeeean!" Tatsuha wailed.

'Great, just what I don't need.'

"What is it?"

"You have to go to a meeting in about two hours okay," his cheery voice said.

"Meeting. What meeting?" Eiri asked suspiciously, eyebrows furrowed.

"The dance meeting, _duuuhh_. Nittle Grasper is gonna play, right.? So you gotta help plan it."

"WHAT!" Eiri screamed. "Why can't you do it?" he growled.

"Those girls scare me," Tatsuha said softly, putting on his best cute baby voice. Eiri's eyebrows twitched again.

"I hate you," Eiri muttered.

"Thank you, Onii-chan!" Tatsuha chirruped as he hung up. Eiri sighed and dumped the phone back onto the couch (its a cordless one). He still had time to cook the meal.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shuichi had been sitting alone on his bed for what felt like ages. The delightful smells of a freshly cooked meal reached his nose. He was so hungry. He tightened his grip on the pillow. He could not…he just couldn't face Eiri at the moment.

He listened to the clinking and clattering from the kitchen. The smells and the sound were so good.

'I'm so hungry.'

It was then the clicking of the front door being shut reached his ears. He slowly got to his feet and opened his bed room door. Silently he walked to the kitchen. No one. The table was set for one, the food piled high and a note sat near the food. He read the note.

_Shuichi, I hope you're hungry because I cooked a lot more than I intended too. I hope you like everything. If you don't want to eat anything, it's ok. But please try to eat something. Hospital food isn't very nice. _

_I have a meeting to go to. I will be back at around eight. _

_Eiri_

Shuichi smiled weakly, laughing inside at the thought of Eiri in an apron and going crazy in the kitchen. Shuichi sat at the table, dropping the pillow to the floor. He hadn't let go of it since he'd walked into his bedroom hours earlier.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri stood outside the door. He frowned. He hated dealing with girls. And hyper girls planning 'the-best-night-of-their-lives' where even worse. He took a deep breath and opened the door to the empty class room they were using. The chattering that he could hear outside stopped as he walked in. Every single pair of eyes was on him, watching him. Then, as if a nest of bees had suddenly been thrown into the room, the buzzing whispers started. Some girls squealed excitedly, while others just stared. The only one who seemed calm was a girl Eiri knew. Hikari. She was a very sweet girl who helped out with everything around the University. She wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty and she was no fan girl unlike the others.

She smiled at Eiri and walked up to him.

"Long time no see," she said cheerfully. "How's Shindou-san?"

"Ok...I guess." Hikari nodded, somehow the news of Shuichi's attempted suicide had gotten out. Hikari had been very worried and had even visited Shuichi once.

"So why are you here?" she asked matter of factly. She knew Eiri wouldn't be here unless he had a good reason.

"Do you have a band to play at the dance?"

Hikari shook her head. "That was what today's meeting was going to be about."

"Good. You're getting Nittle Grasper."

"Huh?" She blinked in surprise while the other girls all gasped.

"Nittle Grasper will be playing at the dance...for Shuichi... "

"Oh Eiri-san! That's amazing!" Hikari squealed as she hugged the blonde tightly before scribbling something on her clip board. Eiri just glared at everybody. He already hated it.

"So what songs are they going to sing? What time can they get here? Do they need anything in particular?..." Eiri stopped listening after a while and sank into a chair. This was going to be a very long night.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shuichi finished the wonderful meal and began putting the dishes in the sink. He would wash them later. He curled up on the couch instead and decided to watch the TV. He wondered where Eiri was. He had been gone an hour already.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri had a headache. The girls were seriously starting to get on his nerves, too. Hikari was trying to calm everyone down. Once it had been established that Nittle Grasper was indeed going to be playing at the school dance, no one had shut up. Not once. Eiri honestly wondered if the girls ever breathed. He rubbed his temples and tried his best to keep his temper in check.

But the voices, the chattering… Everything was annoying him. If he heard...

'Are Nittle Grasper REALLY going to be playing at our dance?' one more time...

"Nittle Grasper...I can't believe it...are they really going to..."

"SHUT UP!" Eiri screamed at the unfortunate girl. They all cowered away from him, the room thankfully falling into silence.

"I'm going!" he shouted, storming towards the door.

"Same time next week, Eiri..." Hikari said quietly. He turned to face her, eyebrows twitching.

"...fine," he said through gritted teeth.

Hikari smiled gratefully. As soon as Eiri shut the door, the chattering began again. He almost felt sorry for leaving Hikari alone with those crazy girls, but, then again, she was the sort of person who could be calm in a hurricane.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Eiri got home, Shuichi was already asleep on the couch. Eiri smiled as he looked at the sink, full of empty dishes, and judging by the fact the food wasn't in the bin (yes Eiri checked. He had slaved in the kitchen long and hard to cook that dinner) he guessed that Shuichi had eaten everything.

He sat on the spare bit of couch and watched Shuichi sleep. It was a fitful sleep. His face was scrunched up and he would toss and turn slightly, but there was no muttering or screaming. It was a more relaxed sleep than earlier. Eiri smiled and began to brush Shuichi hair, running his hand gently over the soft hair. Shuichi expression relaxed and he stopped thrashing about so much. It made Eiri want to chuckle. He was still so cute. So scared, small, and broken, but so cute. His smiled turned to a frown as that thought crossed his mind. Shuichi was broken. Like a china doll.

He was delicate, something to be handled gently. But someone had ignored that, had hurt him… damaged him. Broken... Eiri only just managed to stop himself from embracing Shuichi. He didn't want to scare him. He'd allow Shuichi to make the first move. He still needed time to heal, time to think.

Eiri continued to absentmindedly stroke Shuichi's hair as he stared at the TV. He didn't notice Shuichi's eyes open or the small, unsure smile on the boy's face.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So, how did you persuade Eiri to let us play at the dance?" Tohma's calm voice said at the other end of the phone. Tatsuha giggled evilly.

"Bribery. Good, old fashioned bribery!" Tatsuha began to laugh even more, Tohma held the phone away from his ear and waited for Tatsuha to finish his little episode.

"TATSUHA SHUT UP!" Hiro's angry voice filled the room. There was a muffled oomph from Tatsuha as Hiro threw the nearest cushion into the maniacs face before storming out, wearing nothing except boxers and a t-shirt.

"So what do you have on him?" Tohma asked once Tatsuha had stopped choking on the cushion.

"Oh, just love," Tatsuha said mysteriously.

"I thought so," Tohma said, remembering the pink-haired boy he had met a while ago. Yes, it was quite obvious that Eiri had strong feelings for the boy. Tohma grinned. Oh, he would enjoy teasing Eiri about this.

"So when is this dance?"

"Um..." Tatsuha looked at the calendar. "A few weeks away... wow!" Tatsuha began to jump around the room squealing. Tohma held the phone away from his ear again and carried on with some paper work.

After Tatsuha had calmed down and told Tohma the exact date, they both hung up.

oooooooooo

Tohma sat at his desk thoughtfully. He was glad Eiri found someone to love. He knew long ago that Eiri didn't exactly like girls, and he knew that Eiri could never be happy with that awful Ayaka girl. She was enough to turn anyone gay.

He turned to his computer and saved the document he was working on. He decided to do a little research on Shuichi. After all, someone had to look after Eiri since he didn't do a good job of it himself.

Tohma began his search. Being the powerful person he was he had access to all kinds of data. Soon he knew everything about Shuichi, from his date of birth to blood type to shoe size. When Tohma did something he did it thoroughly. He was just about to shut the web page down when an article caught his eye. He clicked the link and a scanned the page of a newspaper article that filled the screen. He began to read the article. His face gradually began to turn paler and paler. As soon as he'd read that news article he read the others. He read them all, eyes scanning the words frantically.

He felt sick to his gut at what he had read. He was scared too. Pity and confusion jostled for place in him.

'That poor boy...' was his first thought. But it wasn't just that. He closed the computer down and stood. He would trust Shuichi for now. He knew the kid wouldn't do anything to hurt Eiri. But he wouldn't tell Eiri either, what he had read... It was up to Shuichi to decide when to let Eiri know.

Tohma shrugged his jacket on and left the building, still lost in thought.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Shuichi...Shuichi wake up," Eiri gently shook Shuichi's shoulder to wake the sleeping boy. Shuichi opened his eyes a little and stared at Eiri.

"It's late and you can't sleep on the couch. Come on." Shuichi nodded and got to his feet. He walked to his room and closed the door behind him. Eiri remained sitting. He sighed. He would have to listen closely tonight. He would have to be ready to jump up at any moment to wake Shuichi from his dreams.

Eiri reluctantly got up and walked towards his room. It seemed empty and cold without Shuichi. He fell into bed again. He somehow knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep, but he had to at least try. After all, he still had lessons to go to, a book to write, and fan girls to avoid.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

There was a knock at the door but Suguru tried to ignore it, pulling the blanket over his head, but the knocking continued. Suguru glared.

"Whoever that is, it better be important," he muttered as he climbed out of bed and walked through the small dorm to the front door. He was nearly hit in the face by Hiro as the older teen raised his hand again to knock.

"Oh, you're up," he said cheerfully. Hiro was wearing boxers and a t-shirt, and that was it. Suguru blushed violently but dropped his head to hide it, his green bangs covering his face.

"So…can I come in?" Suguru nodded and stood aside, not trusting his voice. Hiro glanced at Suguru in concern.

"You okay?" he asked. Suguru nodded again and walked over to the kitchen.

"Do you want anything?"

"Nope just you're couch," Hiro said cheerfully. "I cannot deal with Tatsuha tonight."

"Ok, I'll get you a blanket."

"Thanks," Hiro said, making himself comfortable.

Suguru scurried quickly into his room and grabbed a spare blanket. He gave it to Hiro and was about to rush back to his room when Hiro grabbed his arm.

"Are you okay? Your face is very red. Do you have a fever or something?"

This, of course, only caused Suguru to blush harder.

"I'm fine really. Nothing's wrong with me at all. Nope, not a thing. Nada, zip, nil… I'm fine." Suguru was tugged forcefully into Hiro lap, Hiro held the palm of his hand up to Suguru's forehead. Suguru was now so red it was easy to think that all the blood in his body had rushed to his face.

"Hmm, you don't have a fever, but your still really red. Take care of yourself, okay. Go get some sleep." Suguru just nodded and dashed out of the room, his heart racing.

Hiro frowned as Suguru left.

"He sure is acting strangely. Man, am I the only sane one left?" he said quietly to himself as he made himself comfortable, pulling the blanket around him.

oooooooooo

Suguru leaned against his bedroom door and held a hand over his heart. It was beating so fast he thought is might burst out of his chest at any moment. His face was still red. He took a deep breath to calm himself and walked over to the bed. It was going to be a long night.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The door to Eiri's room slowly creaked open. Eiri didn't move though. He heard gentle footsteps slowly approaching him, but still he didn't move. He knew it was Shuichi, but he decided to wait and let Shuichi make the first move. He waited for what seemed a long time. For a moment Eiri thought that Shuichi had left, but then he felt the bed move slightly and a warm body curled up against his own. He cracked an eye open to be met with a shock of pink hair. Shuichi's face was nuzzled into his chest. He could feel his shirt dampen. Shuichi was crying.

He wrapped an arm around the smaller boy. Tight enough to be reassuring but not too tight as to make Shuichi think he was trapped. Shuichi didn't move, in fact he nuzzled closer to Eiri. On instinct, Eiri tightened his grip.

No words were spoken. None were needed. Eiri smiled gently and Shuichi's tears dried up.

_'I'm scared. Of course I am. Every fiber of my being tells me to run, not to trust this happiness so freely given to me. But...I can't just let it slip by, even if this is a dream, even if this can't last forever. I'll take what I can have for now and worry about the future when it comes...for now I will trust Eiri.'_

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

AN: OMG TOHMA KNOWS!MWHAHAAHA , but no one else does. Oh I am so evil, but what the heck was the fluff at the end, so unlike me. Anyway another chapter done, finished. YES! (punches the air.)

I'm evil yes.

Muse-chan:When are you going to put them out of their misery and tell them what happened?

Me: ummm thinks acording to my plans, in about...3 chapters! maybe...

Muse-chan: you dont know do you

Me:...no

Muse-chan: please review, your review keep her amused and get her off my back for a while

Me: pluse their my food and make me write more!

Muse-chan:Everyone says that.

Me:I know but its true!

REVIEW! Hopefullly the next chapter will be out soon.


	16. Kage Chapter 14

Ummmm...I'm sorry n.n (Get peltted by rotted fruit) EEEEK IM SORRY ! Really I am, I didn't mean for it to take so long for this chapter to get added. I really didn't. But school was being so evil and I had so much work, plus I had writters block too but i'm back now xD . I'll try not to let the gap between this chapter and the next one be so long. Iv'e already started chapter 15 so it shouldn't be too long. Again I am really really sorry!( bows deeply) please forgive me.

Now I'd like to thank everyone who reviewd so far. You guys rule Seriously I read every single one of you'r reviews again and again and I love them all. You guys make me so happy and I'm so gald you enjoy the story. This chappter is dedicated to all of you. I love you all so much!

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Shuichi was unable to sleep for long. His sleep had been restless, and although no nightmares came to haunt him, he was unable to rest properly. He was awake before the sun even streamed into the room to say good morning. Shuichi stretched and sat up. He was still rather uncomfortable and confused, and being around Eiri just seemed to make him even more confused. He sighed and stared at the still sleeping blond. He slept peacefully, his golden hair falling into his eyes, shimmering in the sunlight. Shuichi felt his cheeks heat up slightly and he had to look away to resist the urge to brush those strands of hair out of Eiri's eyes.

Shuichi turned his back to Eiri, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and into the chill of the room. He shivered slightly as his body left the warm, comfortable bed. He tiptoed across the room and slipped through the door silently so as not to wake Eiri.

Eiri was always doing things for him, not asking for anything in return. Shuichi wanted to do something. He wanted to thank him and apologize. Shuichi looked at the kitchen.

'_I'll start with breakfast,'_ he thought.

It was a simple meal to make and it would be a nice surprise for Eiri when he finally woke, so Shuichi walked over to the small kitchen area and began to rummage through the cupboards and fridge. He found enough ingredients to make a nice, simple traditional Japanese breakfast. Tapping his foot gently to a random Nittle Grasper song, he began to search for all the bowls, plates and cutlery he would need.

Shuichi frowned. He couldn't find a sharp knife anywhere and he would need one to chop most of the ingredients. He slammed the drawer shut harder than he meant to, causing the things inside to clank loudly in protest, but Shuichi ignored them.

Eiri didn't trust him! Shuichi tore through the house, running to the bathroom. Not a razor insight. He glared at the mirror.

'_He doesn't trust me at all……he……he….' _

Shuichi slammed the bathroom cabinet door shut angrily and stalked back to the kitchen. He knew what Eiri had done was for his own good and because the blond cared for him, but still. Surprisingly, Shuichi's rampage had not woken Eiri.

Shuichi glared at the food as if expecting it to jump up and prepare itself. When this didn't happen he turned around and went to get his coat and shoes.

If Eiri was going to throw out every sharp object in the house, Shuichi would just buy more. Besides, he was determined to make a nice breakfast for that jerk, even though he didn't deserve it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The shop wasn't far away and Shuichi had been able to buy a good kitchen knife that would be perfect for chopping. He opened the door to their dorm and was glad to see Eiri was still not awake. He walked over to the kitchen counter, dropping the knife on the table next to him. He would need it later. The breakfast he would cook would consist of steamed rice, miso soup and a side dish of natto and pickles. Nice and simple. But first came the rice. Luckily, they had a rice cooker so the rice would be cooked quickly and without Shuichi having to do much.

Shuichi measured out the right amount of rice carefully and threw it into a bowl. He began to wash it, rinsing it again and again until the water ran clear, showing the rice was clean. He dumped the rice into the small cooker and added the water. Done. He smiled. And he hadn't broken anything, set anything on fire, or blown anything up.

The natto was even easier—packed and no need for cooking. He opened the pack, threw the natto in a bowl and mixed it with some soy sauce. It would be added to the rice later. He set the bowl aside and got started on the miso.

Now he needed the knife.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri yawned and opened his eyes reluctantly. He blinked sleepily. He didn't want to get up but the absence of a warm body in his bed made him feel suddenly cold. He shook his head slightly. He had it bad alright. He missed Shuichi, even when the boy was only in the next room.

He yawned again and stretched. He could hear Shuichi moving about somewhere, so he got up and walked to the door. He wanted to see Shuichi and make sure he was alright.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shuichi held the knife in one hand and looked at the cooking book with the other. Miso was a relatively simple dish to make but Shuichi still needed to make sure he had the correct amount of ingredients.

Eiri turned around the corner, spotting Shuichi standing in the kitchen, his back to him. Eiri's blood ran cold. Shuichi was holding a knife. The object glinted sinisterly at him.

'_But how….I got rid of every sharp object in the house days ago….how…why?'_

Eiri grew tunnel vision in his panic. All he could see was the knife. He couldn't see anything else, not the ingredients set out carefully on the table, nor the faint smell the rice cooker emitted. All he could see was Shuichi. Shuichi covered in red, lying on the ground. Motionless.

Eiri stormed up to Shuichi, grabbing the boy tightly by his wrist and spinning him around. Shuichi's amethyst eyes were wide and shone in a mixture of confusion and fear.

"What are you doing?" Eiri shouted, ignoring the fearful eyes and the way Shuichi trembled slightly. He hadn't even noticed that the candy-haired boy had dropped the knife in his fright.

"Why? Why would you do that! You stupid, idiotic brat! WHY!" Eiri ranted, his grip on Shuichi small wrist so tight he was in danger of breaking it. Shuichi was desperately trying to make Eiri let go, but Eiri couldn't focus…couldn't see. All he could see was Shuichi lying on the floor, drowning in his own blood.

Eiri only woke up when Shuichi pushed him firmly in the chest, making him stumble backwards slightly. Only then did he finally see the tears and fear in Shuichi eyes, before the younger boy ran to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it. Horrible, painful sobs soon filled the air.

As if in a dream, Eiri slowly turned to face the kitchen counter, where the rice cooker hummed merrily, and random bowls and other food were scattered around.

'_He was making breakfast……for me.'_ He could see that the ingredients were enough for two.

"Shit," Eiri muttered, realizing his mistake to late, and now each sob that broke the still air ripped into Eiri's heart like a shard of ice.

"Shit…" he whispered walking slowly to the bathroom door. He tested the handle, locked.

"Shuichi?" Eiri called. "Shuichi, I'm sorry. Please open the door."

No answer. He sighed and fell to his knees, resting his forehead on the cold wood of the door.

"Shuichi…….please….I'm sorry….but….I was so scared," Eiri choked, the tears finally catching up to him and greedily running down his cheeks.

"I was so scared you were going to hurt your self again. I was so scared I was going to loose you. I don't want that…..I couldn't cope with that. So please Shuichi, open the door. I'm sorry."

Eiri said between his own quiet sobs. He was shaking slightly now, the full blast of fear finally catching up to him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

On the other side of the door Shuichi sat on the floor, his legs hugged to his chest and his chin resting on his knees. He was shaking slightly. Eiri was so scary when he was mad, his eyes flashed dangerously. Shuichi looked down at his wrist which now throbbed in pain. He winced slightly and sobbed again. He didn't want to see Eiri mad ever again. It was scary. He curled into a smaller ball. He wanted to disappear.

"_I was so scared you were going to hurt your self again. I was so scared I was going to loose you. I don't want that…..I couldn't cope with that."_

Shuichi looked at the door, surprised. Eiri sounded like he was crying, and he truly did sound frightened. Shuichi crawled over to the door and laid his palm on the cool wood.

"_I'm sorry."_

Shuichi stared at the door. He really did sound sorry, and scared.

Hand still trembling slightly he reached up and unlocked the door, and waited.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri heard the click of the lock and looked up expectantly, but nothing happened. Nervously, he reached for the handle. The door slowly opened.

Shuichi sat on the floor, staring at Eiri with an emotion Eiri could not fathom.

"Shuichi," he whispered, slowly approaching the boy. When he finally reached him he wrapped his arms around the smaller one and pulled him close to his own body. Shuichi tensed slightly, nervous, and Eiri wanted to weep.

'_Now he's scared of me….no!'_

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he whispered, caressing Shuichi hair, his tears still running down his cheeks and onto Shuichi.

"I didn't mean to scare you….I'm sorry."

Shuichi looked up at Eiri. He was crying. Why did he feel like crying too? Shuichi blinked and reached up, gently wiping away one of Eiri's tears, telling Eiri in the only way he could that it was okay.

Eiri looked at Shuichi as the boy wiped his tears away gently…while he still held him tightly. He smiled and gently pulled them both to their feet.

"How about I finish that breakfast you started, okay? As an apology."

Shuichi looked at Eiri and shook his head.

'_I started it. I want to finish it!'_ Shuichi shouted in his mind.

Eiri smiled at the determined look on Shuichi face. It was rather cute.

"Okay," he said as he let Shuichi go reluctantly. He suddenly remembered Shuichi's wrist. His grip had been very tight and he had probably hurt the boy.

"Is your wrist, okay?" Eiri asked. Shuichi nodded at Eiri and walked towards the kitchen.

Shuichi rubbed his wrist slightly as he walked towards the kitchen. It did hurt a little. He sighed, looking down at the floor. Eiri had been so scary, but he understood.

He had seen Hiro like that once. Only once. Hiro had been mad enough to punch him. In fact, he had. Hiro had apologized again and again for days after that, but Shuichi understood. He knew Hiro had only gotten mad because he was scared and that he cared for Shuichi. Eiri had reacted exactly like Hiro. Shuichi sighed again and picked the knife up off the floor, rinsing it under some warm water.

It was nice to know that someone cared so much. He smiled weakly. But it was still rather scary sometimes. He always seemed to make the people around him mad, yet they stayed by his side anyway.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri sat on the couch, running his fingers through his hair and feeling incredibly guilty. He had been so scared when he saw the knife in Shuichi hand that he hadn't even thought, hadn't even considered the consequences of his actions. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Shuichi.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Luckily, during the little dram the rice hadn't overcooked, burned, blown up or whatever else could have happened to it while Shuichi was cooking. Everything else was okay. He finished up the meal and set it all on a big tray, carrying it into the living room to Eiri.

He sat down next to the blond, little further away than normal, which didn't go unnoticed by either of them. Shuichi set the tray down on the table in front of them and they began to eat in silence.

"This is delicious, Shuichi," Eiri said softly, staring at the food, afraid to look at Shuichi in case he scared the other boy again.

"Thank you for making such a delicious breakfast. I haven't had a traditional breakfast like this for a long time."

Shuichi nodded softly offering Eiri a small strained smile.

"I really am sorry," he repeated, sighing. Once he had finished he took his empty bowl to the kitchen and put it in the sink.

"I have a few things to do today, I'll see you later, okay? You should go to see Hiro or something."

Shuichi nodded again and Eiri smiled back at him. Returning the nod, Eiri walked out the door. He hadn't wanted to leave Shuichi but he had a lot to do today, one of those things being helping to organize the school dance. He sighed.

'_Great, I get to spend the day with a load of hyperactive girls. Just great.'_

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Suguru had not been able to sleep that night. He had spent the whole night curled up on his bed thinking. At one point he had even began to cry softly. He hated feeling like this, it was so annoying and it hurt. It really, _really_ hurt. Sighing, knowing there was no point in pretending to be asleep any longer, he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. On the way he heard movement from the kitchen and presumed Hiro was making himself breakfast or something.

Suguru quickly finished in the bathroom, padding back bare footed to his room.

"Morning!" called a cheerful voice from the kitchen causing Suguru to jump into the nearby wall.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." A grinning Hiro appeared from the kitchen, giving Suguru an apologetic smile.

"It's okay. I guess I'm still half asleep."

"Come on," Hiro said, turning back to the kitchen, "I made breakfast for us, it's not much but it's the least I could do. Thanks for letting me stay."

"No problem," Suguru said softly, following Hiro into his kitchen. It was true, Hiro hadn't so much cooked anything, more poured cereal into a bowl and added milk, but it was a kind gesture all the same and it made Suguru smile.

"Thanks," he said, grinning at Hiro before settling himself down at the table to eat. Suguru looked down at the table, his legs swinging slightly. He didn't want to look at Hiro. He couldn't. Even just looking at him hurt, and he was still embarrassed about last night.

'_I'm such a wimp._' He thought to himself, chewing on a mouthful of cereal sullenly.

"….guru….earth to Suguru!"

"Huh?" Suguru said stupidly, staring at Hiro's hand that had been waving in front of his eyes.

"Sorry, what?"

"Geeze, Suguru. What's wrong with you lately?" Hiro said lightly, his tone mixed with amusement and worry. "I was just asking what classes you have today."

"I have an afternoon lecture and that's it," Suguru said, looking into his bowl. He didn't want to see Hiro's face. He didn't want to see the worry and know it was only friendly.

"What about you?" he asked, shoving another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

Hiro bit his bottom lip; he hadn't been going to classes properly since Shuichi's hospitalization. Well, he hadn't been going to English classes and he was supposed to have a lecture this morning too.

"Uhh…..nothing," he lied, which earned him a small glare from the green-haired teen.

"You're lying," Suguru said harshly, causing Hiro to gulp.

"You should start going back to classes soon, or change classes. Do something. You don't want to fail," he said, his tone softening. He really was worried about Hiro.

"Yeah I know," Hiro said. "I guess…….I could go…….I should go."

Suguru grinned and nodded. Maybe Hiro would finally get over K if he started going back to classes. Or maybe he would get worse. He bit his lip.

Hiro stood, smiling and ruffled Suguru's hair.

"I should probably go get ready. I just hope Tatsuha's calmed down."

Suguru laughed and shook his head. "No chance. He's weird 24/7."

Hiro laughed and nodded.

"Yup, I'll see you later," Hiro said, patting Suguru on the shoulder and walking towards the door.

"Thanks for letting me stay over."

"You're welcome," Suguru said, grinning as he watched Hiro walk out the door. He waited until the door had shut before hitting his head against the table.

"This sucks!" he muttered.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri stood outside the door, glaring at it. It was just a group of girls, a group of hyperactive overly-obsessed girls. Scary girls but girls all the same. Who was he kidding? Those girls gave him the creeps. They were just way too sweet and over-excited.

'_Okay, be a man!'_ he told himself, trying his hardest look cool as he opened the door and calmly walked into the room.

"YUKI-SAN!" one of the girl screamed as soon as the door had opened, tackling him in hug. "We didn't think you'd show up!" she said, teary eyed. Eiri just glared at her. He wasn't happy that he had to attend another meeting so soon after the first, and he was even less happy with getting glomped. The girl released him and ran back to her friends, giggling the entire way.

"So are they definitely coming? Do we have a set time yet?" Hikari asked softly. Eiri sighed, sitting in a free chair.

"They can come whenever you want. They're free on the day of the dance so you don't have to worry about time or anything," Eiri muttered darkly. He was sure Tohma had done that on purpose.

The rest of the meeting was taken up with discussion about what songs should be played and in what order, all of which bored Eiri stupid. He stared at the wall for a full ten minutes until one of the girls turned their attention to him.

"Ne, Yuki-san?" she asked sweetly. "You said you were only doing this for Shuichi, right? But why?" Her look was politely curious. Eiri glared at her, but she didn't seem fazed.

'_My glares aren't working any more…..damn it…'_

"Because." he said grumpily, crossing his arms over his chest. The girl just giggled.

"Go on you can tell us!"

"Hey! Isn't Shuichi that cute boy with pink hair?" another girl asked.

"Yeah, he's so cute, but he's quiet too. You know, I don't think I've ever heard him say a word," another added thoughtfully.

"Yuki-saaaaaan, do you like Shuichi-chan?" the same girl who had started the conversation asked sweetly, with that sly little smile girls often wore when they knew something you didn't. It annoyed the hell out of Eiri. He could feel his face heating up slightly too.

"What makes you think that?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

The girls all burst out simultaneously. Eiri's eyes widened slightly as the sight of the girls that look like they were having a collective fit. He leaned back in his chair as far s he could. Girls were very, very scary. Even the usually calm and sweet Hikari was laughing at him. He glared at them all, quickly getting to his feet.

"I don't need this. If that all I'm leaving!" he said, getting to his feet and heading for the door. He was stopped suddenly as a hand grabbed his wrist.

"I'm sorry, Yuki-kun," Hikari said, wiping away tears of laughter from her eyes. He glared at her but she just smiled. "We need to get in contact with Nittle Grasper too. You know, to find out what they need and stuff." Eiri just nodded his reply and with a gently shake of his arm she released her hold.

He paused when he reached the door, his hand resting on the handle.

"I just want to see him smile," he said before leaving. The girls all watched the door for a moment before they all broke out in grins.

"He does like him!" one girl exclaimed, giggling.

"I knew it!" the one who had started the whole conversation yelled. "Okay, now we have to make this dance perfect!"

Hikari smiled and shook her head. Some of these girls were far too hyper.

"Yes, I quite agree," she said with a small smile of her own.

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Hiro looked at the door almost as if it were about to bite him if he took a step closer. Well for all he knew it would; splinters really hurt.

Okay, so he was scared of going to class. He gulped. He should just change classes and then he wouldn't have to see K-Sensei ever again. Yeah, that's what he should do. An image flashed into his mind of him kissing K. He blushed.

'_Why did I do that…….I can't do this,'_ Hiro thought turning around and walking away from the door. _'I can't.' _

A gunshot reverberated around the hallway. Hiro froze, staring at the small smoking hole just in front of his foot. The bullet had missed his toes by a hair's breadth.

"Stop right there!" a commanding voice called to him, a voice he didn't want to hear.

He turned around slowly to face a very angry looking K, holding his gun up in the air. He grinned at Hiro, acting as if what he had done was totally normal and like teachers shot at their students all the time.

"Where have you been Hiro-san?" he asked calmly.

"Ummm….well my friend has been in hospital and…."

"CAN IT!" K yelled shooting at Hiro again, only just missing. Hiro gulped.

"You have four essays to catch up on and you better hope someone will lend you their notes. Now get in the classroom, you're late."

Hiro nodded and scurried into the room, hanging his head. This was terrible; even after the talk he had with K, he was still embarrassed to be around the other male.

Hiro watched K all through class. Those feeling were still there. Something was different but he still could stand to look at him. Maybe it was because he knew he didn't have a chance. Hiro bit his lip and concentrated on taking notes instead. He wasn't sure if he could stand this for more than a day, let alone the rest of his time in university. A part of him still wanted to leave, go to a different school. Anything but stay here.

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Shuichi sat curled up on the couch staring blankly at the TV. His legs were hugged to his chest and his chin rested on them. His mind played over the events of this morning. Eiri….Eiri had been so mad. He bit his lip, hugging his legs tighter. Eiri had scared him, scared him a lot. He knew that he had only been mad because he was afraid, because he was worried, just like Hiro had been one time a while back. But still.

Shuichi sighed. Even if he was the tiniest bit scared he didn't want to leave the blond he felt safe around. His head shot up when he heard the front door open.

"I'm back," the familiar voice called. Shuichi looked at Eiri who looked a bit perplexed about something. Eiri walked over to the couch, sitting next to the pink-haired youth.

"Are you going to class this afternoon?" he asked, looking at Shuichi intently.

Shuichi bit his lip, worrying it as he thought. After a moment, he slowly nodded. Even if he didn't feel like going, music was his one escape. He had to go. He didn't want to fall further behind and he would end up getting thrown out of the school if that happened. He didn't want that. He wanted to stay.

He looked at Eiri. The blond looked calmer now. He sighed softly and rested his head against his shoulder. Eiri jumped slightly and looked at Shuichi, who now had his attention focused on the TV again. He smiled softly and did the same. He never really watched TV unless Shuichi was with him.

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Hiro walked out of class as fast as he could, avoiding K as best he could. He had managed to borrow some notes and the essay questions off one of the other students. He had a lot of work to do, so he headed for the library.

He got there quickly and fell down into a chair in the quietest corner with a sigh. He ran his hand through his long hair and gave a small sigh of frustration.

He was so confused right now. He longed for nothing more than to be able to scream his lungs out. He chuckled to himself as he thought of how the students in the library would react. They would probably think he was insane.

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Suguru sat outside again, reading a book. It was rather quiet. Most of the students were either in classes or the library. He sighed softly. He loved it when the mornings were quiet like this and he could just read calmly.

He didn't see the person watching him. He stood by a tree not too far away, a cap pulled down low over his face. He smiled softly as he watched the boy.

'_You've grown up so much…'_ he thought.

Suguru was too busy thinking of Hiro. He wondered how his friend was coping with the class. He hadn't been for a while. He must have missed a lot. Suguru let out a sigh, closing his book and turning his head up to look at the canopy of the tree. There weren't any leave left now, yet it was still strangely beautiful. The faint sunlight streaming through the branches added to its beauty.

He looked at his watch. Hiro should be out of his class by now. Suguru decided to go look for him. He wanted to make sure he was okay. He stood and walked towards the school building. Hiro would probably be in his room or the library, Suguru reasoned.

The figure watching the green haired teen stayed for a few moments, even after his quarry had vanished. He smiled again before turning on his heel and leaving the school grounds.

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Suguru's hunch was correct. He found Hiro in the library. The older teen didn't look too good. He was currently glaring at the book in front of him. Suguru felt deeply sorry for the book. That glare was rather frightening.

"Any moment now that book will burst into flame," he teased, standing behind Hiro.

The other male jumped quickly, turning his head around to face the other.

"Oh, it's just you," he said, offering Suguru a tired smile.

Suguru took the seat next to Hiro, casting a concerned gaze over his friend.

"How did it go?" he asked softly.

Hiro stiffened slightly at the question.

"It…..It sucked….. I don't know if I can continue with that class. It's going to drive me insane!" Hiro muttered, dropping his head onto the table with a groan.

Suguru laughed, patting his friend gently on the back. "It'll be okay," he said softly. "Promise!"

Hiro turned his head slightly to look at the younger boy. "Thanks," he said, hoping the boy was right. He smiled softly. Suguru's hand was warm and comforting. Just being around the boy relaxed him. He sat up, stretching his arms above his head.

"Guess I should make a start on these essays then," he said reluctantly. He looked at his work load. This was going to take a while.

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Shuichi walked into class nervously, Hiro and Suguru at his side. Hiro patted his friend's shoulder reassuringly. Shuichi gave him a small nod, telling him he was fine as they all went to their seats. Many of the student stared at Shuichi and the room was full of whispers. A few gave him a cheerful wave and hello, asking if he was okay. The news that Shuichi had been in a hospital had gotten around somehow, although no one knew why. Some people liked to make their own reasons up.

Hiro glared at anyone who dared look at Shuichi and even Suguru looked more stern than usual. Shuichi was thankful they were there. The teacher said nothing as he entered, but he gave Shuichi a small nod and a smile.

The class went by smoothly. Shuichi had missed a lot of work but with Suguru's and Hiro's help he was sure he could catch up.

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The three teens walked in a comfortable silence as they left class. They had nothing to say and were just happy to be in each others company. Suguru watched Hiro out of the corner of his eye the entire time. He felt a small nudge in his side and looked at Shuichi. The pink-haired boy gave him a wink and pointed at Hiro. Suguru just blushed and walked faster, until he was a few steps ahead of the other two. Shuichi just shook his head and watched as Hiro quickened his pace to catch up.

'_My friends are idiots,'_ Shuichi thought as he watched them. He bit his lip as he thought of what he could do to help them. He wanted to see his friends happy and he wanted them to stop worrying about him.

Shuichi waved at his friends as they went their separate ways to their dorms. Maybe he should tell Eiri? Maybe he would have some idea of how to fix the problem? Shuichi nodded. He would help his friends, he decided. This time it would be him helping them. And this would help take his mind off things too.

With a new determination, Shuichi walked into his dorm, the door having been unlocked. He dumped his backpack and shoes near the door and went in search of Eiri. He could hear the rhythmic 'tap-tapping' of the keyboard. Eiri was working.

He walked over to the bedroom, standing in the door way for a moment, and just watched the blond work. He looked tired, Shuichi noticed. Many different reference books were pilled around him.

Shuichi moved into the room and sat on the bed, still watching him. Only then did Eiri notice him. He turned around to face the boy.

"How was class? Good?" Shuichi nodded and bought his legs up onto the bed, hugging them to his chest. His head tilted to one side still watching Eiri.

"Are you hungry?" Shuichi shook his head.

"Okay...just let me know if you need anything," he said, turning back to his laptop.

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Suguru leaned with his back against the door, banging his head against it.

'_Stupid, stupid, stupid.'_ He was angry with himself. Shuichi had caught him staring so easily. Was he really that obvious? Did Hiro know but was too polite to say anything? That thought made him want to weep.

He sighed, remembering his promise to Shuichi.

_"I'll gather all my courage and one day tell Hiro my feelings, if you promise to try and get better and never scare us like that again."_

He sighed, banging his head against the door again. Wish a sigh he walked into his small room falling down onto the bed, it wasn't late but Suguru didn't feel like doing anything right now.

'_I have to keep my promise,'_ he thought, closing his eyes. _'And I have to know.'_

Suguru sat up, looking at the calendar on his bedside table. The school dance would be happening soon. Everyone was going.

'_I'll tell him then…at the dance'_ Suguru thought, nodding his head in determination. He would tell Hiro. He gave a wan smile. He _would_ tell him.

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Tatsuha was no where to be seen when Hiro got back to his dorm. He breathed a sigh of relief. He would be able to grab a few moments of peace and quiet. He walked over to the kitchen to grab a drink before he sat on the couch and just relaxed.

But after a few moments Hiro found he could not sit still. He was strangely restless. He stood and began pacing instead, but even that didn't help. With a sigh of frustration, he sat down again and tried to think of some explanation to his sudden restlessness.

'_It's not the same,'_ was the only thought that crossed his mind. _'It's not the same as Suguru's dorm. Suguru's place was comfier.'_ He growled in frustration.

It was just a room. It shouldn't matter. He forced himself to sit still, staring stubbornly at some random point in the wall. Maybe he could burn a hole in it?

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The rest of the evening passed by uneventfully for everyone. Tatsuha soon came back to bother Hiro with his strange attitude. Shuichi had spent so long just watching Eiri that he had fallen asleep and Suguru sat on his couch alone doing his homework.

Eiri got up after a while, smiling as he saw Shuichi's form curled up on the bed, fast asleep. He tucked the blankets around the boy, brushing his hair out of his eyes softly before leaving to get some coffee. He still had work to do and was starting to get a bit tired, but coffee would fix him right up.

He walked into the kitchen and went through the familiar routine of preparing the coffee. Once that was done he walked back to his room to continue his work. Shuichi hadn't moved at all and was still sound asleep, his features relaxed.

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Hiro had gone to bed early. He still felt restless and it bothered him to no end. But it was extremely hard to get any rest with Tatsuha around; even when Tatsuha was quiet he was so loud. Hiro groaned and held the pillow over his head. Tatsuha was walking around for some unknown reason. Hiro longed to yell at him but knew there was no point. Besides, this had been Tatsuha's dorm first.

Hiro closed his eyes grumpily and prayed that Tatsuha would soon go to bed. Although, judging by the endless amount of energy the other male seemed to possess, Hiro doubted he would get any peace soon. He gave another sigh, his mind returning to its earlier musings of why Suguru's dorm was better than this one. As these thoughts ran through his mind, he found himself slowly drifting off to sleep, a small voice in the back of his head saying the best thing about Suguru's dorm was Suguru himself.

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It was very late now, the school shrouded in darkness. A few windows glinted, showing some students were still awake although many were black.

Suguru had fallen asleep on the couch, doing his homework. Books and papers were spread all around him. The TV, which was still on although had been put on mute, was the only light in the room. Suguru shivered slightly and opened his eyes slowly, groggily.

It took him a few moments to get used to his surroundings. He wasn't sure what had woken him, but he felt a sense of wrongness about the place. He looked around but could see nothing wrong. Stretching and yawning, he stood, pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind. It was just his imagination.

He walked into the kitchen to get a class of water and shivered again. It was a lot colder in the room than he remembered. He looked over at the window for a moment, staring at it thoughtfully. It was open. He hadn't opened it. And that window was the one that lead to the fire escape. He froze suddenly wide awake.

If he hadn't opened the window, who had?

He swallowed, shivering. The darkness suddenly seemed much deeper and it pressed against him. His breath quickened. He couldn't breathe, he was terrified. Someone…someone had broken in. Someone could still be here now, in the darkness watching him. Spinning around quickly, his eyes darted back and forth yet he could see nothing. It was too dark.

He took one shaky step forward, trying to be as quiet as he could. His heart was beating wildly. It was so loud he was anyone could hear it. A nervous sweat broke out of his brow.

He took another step, his legs still shaking. It was then he saw a shadow, a moving shadow. With a loud scream, Suguru broke into a run, slamming into the front door and throwing it open, darting out into the corridor and running as fast as he could.

He ran blindly, fear and panic taking over. He had to get help. He needed help. Yes, and he couldn't be alone. That person might be after him. Suguru ran faster.

ooooo

The figure in the room gave a soft sigh. He had been caught. It had taken him almost half an hour to pick the lock on the window and climb in quietly. When the boy had first woken up he had remained still, hoping he wouldn't see him. He shook his head. The child's screams would have alerted someone. He had to leave now. Walking back to the window, he climbed out onto the fire escape and walked down it as silently as a shadow.

ooooooooo

Suguru banged on the door frantically with his fists, shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Hiro! Hiro! Hiro, open the door. Please open the door! Hiro!" He was so frantic that he almost didn't notice when the door was opened, his fist almost colliding with the chest of the person who opened it.

"Suguru….what's wrong?" asked a very tired and confused Hiro. His hair was all messed up and he looked like he had just gotten out of bed. Suguru was so glad to see him, to see someone he knew and not be alone anymore, that he threw himself at Hiro hugging him tightly.

"There's someone in my….dorm…broke in while I was sleeping…window…fire escape…" Suguru muttered, clinging to Hiro like a lifeline as he cried. Hiro looked down at the boy in surprise, but wrapped his arms around him. Suguru's small body was racked with sobs as he cried with fear.

"Wassamater?" Tatsuha muttered, walking up to the two boys eyes half closed.

"Suguru says he saw someone in his dorm. They broke in or something." Hiro explained, rubbing Suguru back gently and dragging him over to the couch. Tatsuha closed the door and went to the kitchen to prepare a hot drink for them.

Hiro sat Suguru on the couch and sat down next to him, an arm wrapped around his shoulders now.

"It's okay, Suguru, calm down. It was probably just a dream," Hiro said reassuringly.

"NO!" Suguru yelled, "I saw him. There was someone there. I was asleep on the couch but I woke up and I saw the window was open. I know I didn't open it. I saw him!" Suguru yelled, tears still in his eyes.

"Here, drink this," Tatsuha said, handing Suguru a mug of hot cocoa. Suguru took the drink gratefully, his hands shaking slightly.

"Okay, we'll go look then," Hiro said, moving to get up but was stopped by Suguru's hand on his arm.

"No! What if he's still there? What if he hurts you? Wait…wait 'til morning….can't go back yet." Suguru said, shaking his head.

Hiro sighed and nodded, sitting back down next to the frightened teen. Tatsuha sat at Suguru's other side, patting his shoulder gently.

"It's okay now. Relax. You can stay here tonight, okay?" Tatsuha said, rubbing his back. Suguru nodded shakily.

"Thank you."

Tatsuha just grinned. They sat in silence for a while, Suguru sipping slowly at his warm drink. It managed to calm him down a bit; his hand weren't shaking so much, anyway. He could feel his eyes begin to droop now. He was tired. He yawned.

"Come on," Hiro said, standing. "You should go back to sleep. You can have my bed."

Suguru nodded, too weak to argue. He stood and followed Hiro. Once inside the other teen's room, Suguru fell onto the bed. Too tired to pull the covers over him, he simply curled up as much as he could.

"Good night," Hiro said, turning to leave.

"Wait!" The green-haired boy sat up suddenly, a slightly panicked looked on his face. "Don't leave me, please. I don't want to be alone," he said quietly, his fear evident. Hiro smiled softly and nodded, sitting on the floor next to the bed and resting his head on the mattress.

Suguru smiled gratefully and laid down again, curling up into a ball and closing his eyes.

"Sorry….," he said quietly.

"Don't be," Hiro said, his hand finding Suguru's and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Just go to sleep."

Suguru gave a small nod and soon they were both fast asleep.

Tatsuha pasted the room a few minutes later, the door had been left open and he had a clear view of the two males. Suguru was curled in a tight ball while Hiro sat on the floor, Suguru holding onto Hiro's hand. Both were fast asleep.

Tatsuha grinned one of his sweet, innocent grins, one that you just knew meant trouble for those involved. As quietly as he could, he walked into the room, lifting Hiro onto the bed. The bed was a double so it would be able to hold both of them comfortably.

He managed to put Hiro on the bed without either of them waking. He grinned and did a little metal victory dance. He watched, smiling slightly, as Suguru automatically moved closer to Hiro. His grin grew even wider as Hiro wrapped an arm around the smaller teen. Everything was going perfectly and both teens were still fast asleep. As quietly as he could, he walked out of the room.

'_My job here is done!'_

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Angel-chan: ok that was it! YAY i hope you liked it minna!

Muse-chan: No time for that you gotta write more of chapter 15, come on moveitmoveitmoveit!

Angel-chan: xD muse-chan is working hard now (hugs muse-chan)

Muse-Chan: Let...go...

Me: eeeek...um...aaaaaanyway...I hope you enjoyed that chapter review if you wish, feel free to yell at me and be angry. Im sorry again. Hopefully chapter 15 will be done soon.


	17. Hidden Feelings Chapter 15

Hello eveyone, i hope you all enjoy tis chapter. Thank you everyone whos has read and reviewed my story. You guys are the one thing keeping me writting. I love you all!

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Eiri and Shuichi lay on the bed in a tangle of limbs. Shuichi had had another nightmare when Eiri hadn't been there. He had left for another coffee break, and now the pink-haired teen clung to the blonde like a limpet, as if he was afraid he might leave if he didn't hold on tightly. The blonde, who always managed to wake early, was currently running his fingers slowly through the bubblegum hair. He smiled slightly at the boy. Shuichi had his face buried in Eiri's chest and he could feel his breaths. It tickled him slightly but it also felt nice.

Eiri looked at the clock on the bed side table. It was still early; no need to wake him yet.

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Suguru awoke feeling very warm and very comfortable. He snuggled closer to the source of the warmth with a content sigh. He still hadn't opened his eyes yet. He wanted to go back to sleep, but he was suddenly jolted back to reality by the sound of an alarm filling the room. He opened his eyes and almost fell out of the bed at the sight that greeted him. He was in Hiro's bed, he remembered that much about last night, but now Hiro was lying next to him, and hugging him… He flushed bright red and tried to untangle himself from Hiro's arms before the other teen woke.

He glared at the alarm, willing it to be quiet, but it was too late. He felt Hiro move slightly, the older teen's arms tightening around him for a moment. He opened his eyes slowly to be met with a very surprised Suguru.

'_That's it. I'm dead,'_ Suguru thought nervously.

Hiro blinked at Suguru, looking slightly confused, before he suddenly realized what he was doing. He quickly let go of Suguru, both moving as far away from each other as they could.

"Sorry," they said simultaneously.

Hiro chuckled slightly, rubbing the back of his head. Suguru looked down, flushing bright red.

'_He looks cute like that…'_ Hiro noted but shook his head.

"Um……sorry, I must have been sleepwalking……or something," Hiro offered as way of an explanation. It really didn't make sense, though, since he had never walked in his sleep as far as he knew. So why start now?

Suguru shook his head, still bright red.

"No. It's my fault….I mean um…..I did show up unexpectedly and….I'm sorry," he muttered, unable to look at Hiro. It had felt so nice to be wrapped securely in his arms and it made him want to weep to know that the older teen would probably never hold him like that again.

"Nah, its okay. Don't worry about it," Hiro said, grinning slightly and rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. He found himself missing Suguru's warmth. He wanted to hold him again. He chided himself instantly.

'_I'm still half asleep, that's all…'_

Hiro coughed, clearing his throat and regaining his composure.

"We should check your dorm room now," he said, looking at Suguru. The younger boy stiffened, his shoulders hunched at the mention of last night. He was obviously still scared.

Hiro smiled slightly, resting a comforting hand on Suguru's shoulder.

"It'll be okay. Tatsuha and I will be with you so don't worry. But first, let's get breakfast okay?"

Suguru nodded, standing up and walking out of the bedroom. He still wore his crumpled clothes from yesterday and had no shoes on. He had left in a bit of a hurry. Hiro watched him leave, noticing how small he looked. The urge to pull the smaller one into his arms again hit Hiro. He wanted to hold him safe, to protect and comfort him.

Hiro shook his head and got up, heading for his closet to get a change of clothes.

'_It's just because I only just got up. That's why I'm having these though. Yup, I'm just tired,'_ Hiro told himself determinedly.

ooooooo

Suguru walked out of the bed room, blushing furiously and his hands clenched in tight little fists.

He wasn't mad at Hiro. No, it had been quite pleasant to wake up next to the older teen, wrapped safely in his arms. Suguru blushed redder at the thought.

'_No I can't think of that now…First I have to deal with _him_…'_

Suguru walked towards his unsuspecting target, seething. His teeth were clenched in anger.

Tatsuha sat at the table, eating a piece of toast, completely oblivious to Suguru's presence.

"Just what do you think you're playing at!" Suguru hissed, slamming his fist on the table, his angry gaze only a few centimetres away from Tatsuha's surprised gaze. Suguru was doing a very good impression of an extremely angry goose.

Tatsuha gulped nervously, dropping his toast.

"Good morning, Suguru."

"Don't give me that," Suguru said icily, his tone and gaze deadly. "I asked you a question."

"Ummm…well…..you see, Suguru…I have no idea what you are talking about," Tatsuha said nervously, trying to back away from the angry teen.

"Don't play dumb with me. I know it was you," Suguru said darkly. Tatsuha just gulped nervously again.

"Know it was me what?" Tatsuha asked innocently. Of course innocent and Tatsuha didn't mix, so he looked even guiltier than he was.

"I know you moved Hiro," Suguru said, blushing slightly now.

"I was only trying to help," Tatsuha defended. He quickly covered his mouth as he realized he had just admitted to it. Suguru's face now showed pure loathing.

'_Oooops…'_

"Don't help!" Suguru snapped, hissing angrily. "Just don't. You made things a hundred time worse, you idiot!" Suguru snapped, a small look of hurt flashing across his face.

Tatsuha frowned slightly. "I'm sorr…."

"Don't!" Suguru snapped again, not wanting to hear the apology. He stormed over to the kitchen and went to make himself breakfast.

Tatsuha breathed a small sigh of relief, knowing full well he had just avoided an extremely painful death. Suguru was surprisingly scary when he was mad.

Tatsuha picked up his toast and continued to eat, watching Suguru out of the corner of his eye, just in case the boy decided that he did want to hurt him. There were many dangerous and painful weapons in that kitchen, and Tatsuha decided that he did not want to get hit over the head by a frying pan today.

Suguru was currently taking his anger out in the kitchen, slashing the butter on the toast with enough force to crack the plate. His teeth were gritted together so hard that he felt his teeth might crack. He absolutely hated Tatsuha at that moment in time. He _hated_ him.

Hiro would probably end up acting uncomfortable around him, and Suguru….Suguru wanted to cry.

'_I can't tell him,' _he thought, his resolve crumbling. _'He'll hate me…'_

Suguru sighed, walking over to the table and falling into one of the chairs dejectedly. He definitely was not in the best of moods.

Hiro came into the kitchen a few moments later, washed and dressed and smiling happily. He hadn't thought once about hugging Suguru close again and he was extremely proud of himself for it, brushing off the feeling as just a side affect from waking up in such a position.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully to the other two, noticing the oddly quiet and nervous looking Tatsuha and the miserable looking Suguru. Hiro frowned as he took in the sight of his miserable friend. He didn't like seeing him sad. Hiro wanted to comfort him, to hold him…..

'_Damn it! Stop thinking like that!'_

Hiro shook his head, getting himself something to eat before sitting down.

"Sleep well?" Tatsuha asked innocently, earning a glare from both Suguru and Hiro, although Suguru's glare was angry while Hiro's was a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Hiro, of course, didn't suspect Tatsuha, and Tatsuha didn't know when to shut up.

He laughed nervously, jumping to his feet.

"Well classes to go to, homework to hand in. Bye!" he said hurriedly, running for the door before Suguru could throw a chair at him or something.

Suguru glared at Tatsuha's retreating form. He _really_ hated him at the moment. Hiro didn't bat an eyelid. He was used to Tatsuha's odd behaviour by now. It was a part of his everyday life. How sad.

Suguru finished his breakfast quickly. Once he was done, he remained seated, staring down at the table.

Hiro finished his own breakfast and stood.

"Come on, let's go," he said to the green-haired teen. Suguru flinched slightly but nodded. He knew he would have to go back eventually. But what if the stranger was still there?

With this frightening thought in mind, Suguru followed Hiro to the door and through the halls towards his own dorm.

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Suguru gave the door a nervous glace. It was shut. He vaguely remembered slamming the door shut as he ran away, hoping it would delay the strangers if he chose to chase him. Suguru gave a nervous whimper, backing away from the door as if it might bite him if he got too close.

Hiro smiled reassuringly at Suguru, resting his hand on his back and pushing him forward.

"Come on. He's not going to be there now, is he? No one's that stupid."

Suguru just shook his head as he was pushed forward. He was going to get back at Hiro for this somehow, he just hadn't figured out how yet. With a sigh and a small gulp, Suguru raised a shaking hand towards the door handle, slowly turning it and allowing the door to slowly creak open ominously.

Suguru gave a small whimper and backed away slightly but was stopped by Hiro's hand that still rested on his back.

"Come on," Hiro said, pushing Suguru through the doorway. Suguru remained a dead weight, refusing to move forward. With a sigh, Hiro stepped in front of Suguru and walked into the room.

"See? There's no one here!" he called, looking at Suguru, who remained in the door way.

The green-haired teen took a tentative step forward, looking around as if he expected someone to jump out at him at any moment. When that didn't happen, he took another step forward, followed by another until he finally stood at Hiro's side.

He looked around the room, still nervous but feeling safe now that someone was with him.

Hiro gave a small sigh and walked over to the window. It was closed.

"Suguru, look. The window's shut. You were probably just dreaming," Hiro said rationally. Suguru walked towards the window shaking his head.

"I know what I saw, Hiro, and I wasn't dreaming. There was someone here!" he said vehemently. He gave the window a nervous glance before walking close to it and opening it.

"See," he said. "It wasn't locked. I always lock the window and I know I locked this one. Someone was here!" Suguru said, his voice getting slightly panicky now. Hiro patted Suguru's shoulder gently.

"Relax. I believe you, okay?" he said calmly, trying to figure out why someone would break into a student's dorm. It wasn't as if student were famed for being very rich. In, fact there was nothing worth stealing in any student's room except their text books and perhaps the TV.

"It was probably just a prank or some drunk student going into the wrong room," Hiro said reassuringly.

Suguru did not look convinced.

Hiro continued to look around the dorm while Suguru gazed out of the window, wondering who that man had been, for he was sure the person he had seen had been male. He was tall and of a broad build, definitely not female. He sighed, resting his elbows on the window sill and his chin in his hands.

"No one's here," Hiro said after a few minutes of searching. "Whoever it was is long gone." He walked over to Suguru. The green-haired teen nodded softly, looking around nervously. He still felt uncomfortable.

"I better get changed," he said, walking towards his bed room. Hiro nodded and went to the sit on the couch and wait.

Suguru could not shake off the feeling of being watched as he changed, even though he knew no one was here since Hiro had checked thoroughly. He changed quickly, not wanting to spend any more time than needed in the room.

He almost ran out of it and into the living room where Hiro waited when he was finished. He gathered up his books, which were still spread out over the coffee table.

"Let's go to the library," he said. Hiro smiled and nodded. They both had a lot of work to do, so he had no objection.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri yawned again, holding his cup of coffee in his hands and battling his eyes to keep them open. Shuichi watched all of this with his head tilted to one side. He felt sorry for the blonde, he did not know what time he had gone to bed last night but he knew it had been late. He also knew the blonde had woken early too, as he always did.

Eiri stared into his coffee cup, the steam hitting him in the face but he didn't particularly care. He was currently planning out his day in his mind. He had a class soon and work to hand in. He then had to contact Tohma and ask him all the stuff those crazy girls needed to know, and then there was the book he needed to write. His editor was starting to get on his back about it. Something about it being two months overdue.

'_Damn bastard, I'd like to see him try and do a university class and write a book at the same time,' _Eiri thought glumly, glaring at his coffee. Anyone who could see this glare would feel deeply sorry for the poor innocent coffee.

But the only one to see this glare was Shuichi, and he was in no mood to save coffee from Eiri's glare so the coffee had to deal with Eiri glaring at it.

Eiri quickly finished his drink, hoping he had drunk enough to keep him awake for the rest of the day. Maybe he would pick up another one on the way to class.

With a sigh, Eiri stood and took his empty cup to the kitchen, dropping it into the sink.

"I have to go to class now. I'll see you later," Eiri said as he walked towards the door. Shuichi gave a small nod and wave, which Eiri returned with a smile.

Once the door had shut, blocking Eiri from view, Shuichi hugged his knees to his chest as he watched the door. He knew it would be a while until the blonde returned but even now he missed him. Shuichi shook his head lightly and got to his feet.

He grabbed his backpack and decided to look for Hiro and Suguru so they could help him with the work he had missed. He had a lot to catch up on.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shuichi found his friends in the library. He ran over to them, sitting down and dumping his bag onto the table.

"Morning, Shuichi," Suguru and Hiro greeted, both smiling, although Suguru still looked tired and strained.

Shuichi tilted his head to the side questioningly at Suguru's miserable look.

"Someone broke into his apartment…." Hiro said and he began to explain. By the time he was finished, Shuichi looked slightly pale and worried, while Suguru was red with embarrassment.

"I'm okay, Shuichi," he said at the pink-haired boy's worried look.

"Yeah, we've just checked his dorm. Nobody's there," Hiro said cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood.

Shuichi frowned slightly, not entirely convinced, but nodded gently nonetheless. He took his books from his bag and set them out on the table. He looked at his two friend's hopefully, hoping they would help him with the essays.

Hiro grinned, pulling one of the books closer to him as he began to explain what needed to be done. Shuichi listened carefully and soon began his work, getting the occasional tip from Suguru or Hiro.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri walked from his class, glaring angrily at anyone who got in his way. The teacher had given them another essay. He growled angrily. He didn't have time for this, damn it!

He stormed into the library, finding Shuichi, Suguru and Hiro still with him. Without a word, he took the free chair throwing his bag onto the table with a loud bang and earning many disapproving glares from the other students there. Most looked away, though, as soon as Eiri sent his own glare their way.

"What's eating you," Hiro asked, startled at the blonde's anger. Eiri just glared at him, pulling one of the books closer as he began to read.

ooooooooooo

Ayaka sat in the library, glaring at the three boy's on the table. She gritted her teeth angrily as she glared at on in particular. That pink haired idiot. How she hated him. She gripped her book tightly, her knuckles turning white.

Her mood brightened as soon as she saw him, her blonde angel. He was so sweet. The pink haired demon had tricked him, and the angel could not see this. She had to do something. She had to save her angel. She would make him see.

She growled again as her angel sat so close to the demon. It wasn't fair. She threw the book down angrily and crossed her arms over her chest. She would make him see, and she would stop that demon's evil plan if it was the last thing she did.

ooooooooooo

The four friends sat in silence as they did their work. Shuichi would cast the occasional worried glance at Eiri and Suguru. Hiro just grinned reassuringly at Shuichi. Neither of them had any classes until later that afternoon so they had plenty of time to do their work.

"Hey, let's go outside," Hiro said to the others. It was getting crowded in the library now and Eiri was starting to get madder, which only made Shuichi worry more.

Suguru nodded, gathering up his books and Shuichi did the same. Eiri glared at them and sat still for a moment before giving up and gathering his own books up.

It was cold outside but they all had warm coats on, and it was a dry clear day so it wasn't too bad. The four males sat on one of the benches that sat in a quiet corner of the school grounds.

Eiri instantly seemed to relax, being away from the crowds, and Shuichi looked happier. Hiro grinned, proud of himself.

With Eiri now appearing calmer Shuichi turned his attention back to Suguru, remembering his dilemma. He needed to get the boy to confess to Hiro. He knew his friend was hopeless and would never say anything himself.

Shuichi bit his lip. First he needed to find out Hiro's feelings. It wouldn't be good if he didn't feel the same way. He looked up at Hiro. Both Hiro and Suguru were sitting opposite him and Eiri. He watched his two friends carefully, remembering the concern in Hiro's voice when he had explained what had happened the night before. Hiro was sitting close to Suguru now.

He smiled softly. Hiro obviously cared for Suguru, but whether that was just as a friend or something more he didn't know. He sighed. He would need a lot of help with this.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Yes, I can come," the voice answered.

"Good God," Tatsuha said cheerfully. "This school dance is gonna be so much fun!"

At the other end on the line, Tohma rolled his eyes and typed something into his computer. Tatsuha was always so happy, but then again this was the first time Eiri had been willing for Nittle Grasper to play at any school, so they were both pretty happy.

"So why didn't Eiri call?" Tohma asked.

"Oh you know Eiri. He'd never call unless I forced him."

Tohma nodded in agreement.

"So I need to be there for this afternoon's meeting?" he asked.

Tatsuha nodded, then, realizing Tohma could not see him, he replied. "Yup, and bring Ryu along, please," he said, his voice wavering as he made himself sound as cute as possible.

Tohma rolled his eyes again. "I'll see what I can do," he said. "Good bye," he hung up to avoid the scream that was sure to come from Tatsuha.

Sure enough, Tatsuha was jumping around the room yelling down the phone at someone who wasn't even there. It took him a full two minutes to realize that Tohma had hung up. With a frown, he dropped the phone and prayed that he would get to see Ryuichi today.

oooooooo

Tohma stared t the phone for a moment, hi chin resting on his hand. He remembered what he had found out about Shuichi. He had done some more digging and found out that it was indeed true. He had found out a lot actually, and it worried him.

He felt a deep sympathy for Shuichi. The poor boy had been through a lot, no wonder he wasn't speaking.

He was torn between keeping the boy's secret and telling Eiri. Eiri should know, he did have to live with Shuichi. But, it was Shuichi secret. He sighed running his fingers through his hair. Things were getting far too complicated.

He stood and walked over to the door. He had to get ready for the meeting today. He was going to make sure this was the best dance the school ever held.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ayaka paced around her room wondering how best to break Eiri free from that idiots clutches. Her fist clenched angrily and then she smiled. It was so simple. She was sure Eiri hadn't told his father about breaking off their marriage. She giggled to herself as she picked up the phone dialling a familiar number.

"Hello," she said, making her voice shake slightly.

"What is it Ayaka-chan?" the man asked calmly.

"Uesugi-San," she said, sniffing slightly, "Eiri-kun….he…..he…" She forced the tears. They ran down her cheek and made her voice sound venerable. "He broke off the wedding. He hates me!" she wailed.

"WHAT!" the man on the other end yelled. "I did not give him permission to do that! Just wait until I get a hold of him." The man was seething now and Ayaka smiled. Things were going perfectly.

"But…" she said quietly. "There's this boy. It's all his fault. He tricked Eiri-kun somehow," she said sounding worried.

The man let out an angry yell and Ayaka had to hold the phone away from her ear.

"I will be there soon," he said angrily, hanging up.

She smiled once she was finished. She had succeeded in making Eiri's father very angry, not at her of course. She brushed away fake tears, placing the phone gently on its cradle.

'_Stage one complete.' _She smiled to herself and brushed her hair behind her ear. _'Soon you will be mine again, Eiri-kun.'_

She laughed, earning a strange look from her roommate, who gathered her books and ran away from the crazy, laughing girl. Why did she have to get stuck with the insane one?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Suguru, Hiro, and Shuichi had another music class and Eiri had nothing so they went their separate ways. Eiri decided to go back to the library to get a few more books to help him with his essay.

Shuichi looked at Suguru and Hiro as they walked with him. Hiro was still standing close to Suguru, although the green-haired teen didn't seem to notice. Shuichi smiled to himself. He was sure Hiro liked Suguru, even if it was just a little bit. He just needed a push.

Shuichi walked a bit faster, hoping the other two would take this chance to walk together, but they didn't and simply picked up their pace to walk with Shuichi.

'_Drat,'_ he thought to himself, stamping his foot angrily. They took their seats once they got to the classroom and waited for the teacher.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Yuki-San! Yuki-san!" Hikari called, walking up to the blonde.

"There is another meeting tonight. We will be discussing what songs should be played. Will you be able to attend?" she asked. Eiri glared at her for a moment, remembering yesterday's meeting. He didn't particularly want to go through the same thing again.

"Fine…." he said exasperatedly. He knew he had to go, for Shuichi.

The girl smiled. "That's good. Tatsuha-san just told me Tohma-sama will be there today," she flushed slightly and giggled. Eiri paled.

'_Not Tohma. Anyone but Tohma.' _He suddenly wished he hadn't agreed to go to the stupid meeting. But Hikari was already walking away, calling over her shoulder for him not to forget.

'_Damn….I'm such a pushover. When did that happen?'_ he asked himself, trying to think back and remember when he had changed. He flushed slightly as Shuichi came to his mind. _'Oh yeah….'_

He sighed, running pale fingers through his golden hair. He was determined to see Shuichi smile. He had to make this dance the best ever, and if to do that he had to deal with Tohma for a few minutes, so be it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"REALLY!" the over excitable singer said, looking up at his friend and fellow band mate with big eyes, hugging his pink rabbit tightly. Tohma smiled and nodded.

"Yes, we are going to visit Tatsuha and Eiri. That will be fun. You can even meet Shindou-kun. He looks like you a bit actually."

"YATTA!" Ryuichi shouted, jumping to his feet and bouncing around the room.

"Hear that, Kumagoro? We're going to make a new friend, and I get to see Tatsuha!" he said, blushing slightly.

"So when are we going Tohma?" Ryuichi asked, stopping his bouncing for a moment to look at Tohma again.

"We shall leave soon. We don't have any recording to do today so you can do whatever you want until then."

"Is Nori-chan coming too?" Ryuichi asked, chewing on Kumagoro's ear.

"No," Tohma said with a shake of his head. "Noriko wishes to spend time with her family today."

Ryuichi nodded in understanding and danced around the room again.

"I can't wait!" he said, throwing Kumagoro in the air and catching him, spinning around and giggling madly. Tohma shook his head. Ryuichi had so much energy. It was hard to keep up with him sometimes.

"Try not to tire yourself out. Tatsuha won't be happy," Tohma said with a grin, causing Ryuichi to blush.

"Kumagoro beam!" he yelled angrily, face red, throwing the pink rabbit at Tohma. The blonde just laughed and left the room, leaving behind a bright red singer.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Classes were over now and the four males sat together again. Eiri looked grumpy again but he insisted nothing was wrong. They sat in silence for a while, enjoying each others company.

Suguru would cast the occasional glance at Hiro while the other remained oblivious. Shuichi looked worried and Eiri looked mad. All in all, everything was normal.

Shuichi bit his lip and grabbed a piece of paper, scribbling something down and handing it to Eiri. Eiri took the note with a raised eye brown and read it, casting Shuichi a curious look. The –pink-haired boy returned the look with a pleading one of his own.

Eiri sighed. He couldn't say no to Shuichi.

"Hey….you know the dance is coming soon. Who are you going with?" he asked, managing to sound very bored.

Hiro looked thoughtful and Suguru turned slightly pink.

"I don't know," Hiro said, instantly thinking of K. He flushed slightly, shaking the image out of his head. It was hopeless to think like that. K's image was suddenly replaced by Suguru's.

His eyes widened slightly and he shook his head again.

'_I have to stop thinking about Suguru like that, he's my friend,' _he told himself angrily.

Suguru just shook his head.

"No one….no one's asked me yet anyway….who'd want to?" he said smiling weakly, trying to lighten the mood and hide his embarrassment.

"Awwww, don't be like that," Hiro said ruffling Suguru's hair. "You're a great kid," he said grinning. Suguru blushed and smiled.

Shuichi looked at the two boys knowingly.

He pointed at Suguru, then pointed at Hiro.

"What?" Hiro asked, wondering what Shuichi was trying to say.

Shuichi sighed and again pointed at Suguru, then Hiro. Eiri rolled his eyes.

"He says you two should go together," he said, easily interpreting what Shuichi was trying to say.

Instantly, Hiro and Suguru turned red.

"Oh," Hiro said feeling dumb. Suguru just stared at the ground, waiting for the polite rejection.

"Heh…..why not," Hiro said, grinning.

"What do you say, Fuji-chan? Think you can put up with me for the night?" he asked teasingly.

Suguru looked up at Hiro surprised, his eyes big, but then a small smile crossed his face and he nodded. "I think I can manage," he said.

Hiro grinned, then turned his attention to Shuichi. "What about you, Shu-chan?"

Shuichi flushed slightly and bit his lip. Eiri grinned and looked at the pink-haired boy.

"He's going with me," Eiri said. "If that's okay." Shuichi looked at Eiri, face slightly red but nodded. He had been hoping he could go with the blonde.

"Great now that that's settled I have to go," Eiri said, getting to his feet.

"See 'ya later," Hiro said waving. Suguru and Shuichi waved too as the blonde left. Once he was out of sight Hiro turned his attention to Shuichi.

"Oh my little Shu-chan has a date! How cute!"

Shuichi blushed and glared at Hiro, who was now laughing. Suguru chuckled as well, smiling. He was happy. He couldn't believe Hiro had actually agreed to go with him, even if it was only as friends. It was better than nothing.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hurry up, Tohma. Can't you go faster? We're going to be late," Ryuichi complained, bouncing in his seat.

Tohma looked nervously at the other and wished he would sit still. Honestly, it was like travelling with a child. In fact, Tohma would prefer a child to Ryuichi. Children got tired, but Ryuichi was the sort of person who appeared to never sleep.

"We are almost there. Please sit still, Ryuichi."

"But, Tohma, this is such fun!" Ryuichi said, hugging Kumagoro tightly. Tohma just sighed.

They soon arrived at the school, Ryuichi jumping out of the car before it had even stopped.

"Tohma-kun, I'm going to see Tatsuha," Ryuichi shouted as he ran towards the dorms.

"Be careful," Tohma said, waving. He parked the car and went in search of the room he was supposed to go to. He smiled his most charming smile. This would be fun. He would get the chance to tease Eiri too.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eiri walked into the room to be met with a chorus of hellos from the girls, all smiling at him sweetly. He didn't like it one bit.

"Everything's nearly ready now," one said cheerfully.

"Yes, this dance will be the best the school has ever had. Shuichi-san will enjoy it!" another piped in. Eiri ignored them and took a seat. A few moments, later the door opened again.

"Sorry I'm late. I got lost," said a rather embarrassed blonde. The girls all stared at him for a moment, eyes wide.

"It's Seguchi-sama."

"Seguchi-sama! It's really him!"

"Nittle Grasper's Seguchi-sama!"

The girl's all screamed as one and jumped to their feet to run at the blonde. Tohma had a brief moment in which to look afraid before he was buried under many hugs.

Hikari was the only girl who hadn't got up. She watched the spectacle, smiling.

"Girls, please release Seguchi-sama. I think he would like to breathe now."

The girls all giggled, blushing slightly and muttering an apology. Tohma smiled and Eiri tried to hide by sinking into his chair as much as could. Of course, this didn't help much and he only managed to make Tohma notice him.

"Hello Eiri," Tohma said sitting next to him. Eiri glared at the blonde. What his sister saw in this man he would never know.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

There was an urgent knock at the door. Tatsuha jumped to his feet hoping it was who he thought it was. He ran to the door and threw it open. Almost instantly his arms were filled with Ryuichi.

"TATSUHA!" the hyperactive singer yelled, glomping him tightly.

Tatsuha grinned hugging him back. "Ryu-chan!" he yelled spinning around with the older man in his arms. Ryuichi giggled.

"Are you glad to see me, Tatsuha?" he asked sweetly, tilting his head to the side and looking very cute.

"Of course," Tatsuha said, leaning forward and kissing Ryuichi's nose lightly. Ryuichi giggled, crossing his eyes to look at his nose.

"Did you miss Kuma-chan too?" he asked, holding up the pink rabbit.

Tatsuha nodded vehemently and kissed the pink rabbit's nose. "I am very happy to see both of you."

Ryuichi giggled, escaping Tatsuha's hold to sit Kumaguro on the couch. "You stay here Kuma-chan!" he said, before turning to Tatsuha with a smirk, clearly showing that he was no longer the hyper active child like singer now. He walked up to Tatsuha slowly, swinging his hips slightly.

"Why don't you show me exactly how happy you are to see me," he said, smirking. He wrapped his arms around Tatsuha's neck and pulled him close, so their bodies were pressed together.

Tatsuha grinned too, a predatory grin as he ground their hip together.

"As you wish, Ryu-chan," he said, hands resting on the singer hips pressing their groins together again.

Ryuichi let out a small whimper, stifling it by kissing Tatsuha. The younger one parted his lips willingly, taking the singer's tongue into his mouth, sucking on it and brushing the muscle with his own.

He wrapped his arms around the others waist and walked them towards the bedroom, Ryuichi following without complaint.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So are we sure this is okay now?" Hikari asked, looking over the list of songs to be sung. The other girls nodded and Tohma just grinned cheerfully. Eiri was currently planning on how best to kill them all and not get caught.

"Then it's decided," she said, grinning and slipping the list into a file. She then picked up another piece of paper and looked over it.

"Are you sure this is all you need?" she asked Tohma. He nodded.

"Yes it's fine. This is only a school dance after all, no need to be extravagant on our behalf."

Hikari nodded and looked at the list again. The band didn't need much. They had their own instruments and stuff, all Tohma had asked for was a lot of water and something to eat.

"If you're sure," she said, still amazed that a big band like Nittle Grasper would be playing at their school dance.

"Thank you so much," she said, getting to her feet and bowing deeply. Tohma smiled, standing too and bowing.

"You're welcome. Thank you for accepting us. We will be glad to play at your dance."

The other girls all said their thanks, Tohma returning each one. Eiri remained seated glaring at everyone. He was ignored.

"Now I must go, I'm afraid. If you need to contact me please call this number," he said, handing Hikari a card. "Good bye."

He walked over to Eiri, grabbing his arm and dragging him to his feet.

"I need your help to find Ryu-chan. You know I always get lost around here," he said dragging the blonde out of the room with him.

"Get lost then. I don't care. It would be a relief. Hey! Stop pulling!" Eiri shouted.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Mmmmmm, Tatsuha-kun did miss me," Ryuichi said sleepily, his head resting against Tatsuha's chest. The other boy smiled softly, running his fingers through his lover's hair.

"I miss you all the time, Ryu-chan. You're so busy and I don't get to see you very often," he said, sounding sad.

"I'm sorry," Ryuichi said, going into chibi mode, making his eyes big and watery. Tatsuha chuckled and kissed his nose.

"It's okay. I understand."

Ryuichi smiled and glomped the younger man. "Sank'yuu!" he shouted happily.

"How long can you stay?" he asked hopefully.

"Hmmm, I dunno," Ryuichi said, snuggling closer to the warm body. "I'll ask Tohma."

There was a knock at the front door then. Tatsuha frowned and Ryuichi tilted his head to the side.

"I wonder who it is?" the younger male asked without getting up.

"I'll get it!" Ryuichi shouted, jumping out of the bed.

"Ah, Ryu, wait! Your clothes!" Tatsuha shouted, chasing after Ryuichi.

"Huh?" the singer said looking down, finally realizing that they were both naked.

"Oh yeah, clothes!" he said, hurriedly getting dressed before running for the door.

Tatsuha shook his head as he watched the energetic man, smiling fondly. He dressed slowly and followed him. When he got to the door he found a smiling Tohma and a grumpy Eiri.

"Hello. I hope you didn't tire Ryuichi out too much," Tohma said grinning, Tatsuha just blushed and Ryuichi ushered them into the dorm.

"Do we have to go now?" Ryuichi asked, pouting cutely. He now held Kumaguro tightly to him. Tohma grinned and ruffled his friend's hair.

"No, we don't have to record anything tomorrow. You can have a day off," he said.

Ryuichi eyes brightened and he began to jump around the room. "Does that mean I can stay the night!" he asked, looking from Tohma to Tatsuha and back again. Both males nodded.

"YATTA!" he yelled, jumping around the room and spinning around screaming.

Eiri glared at Ryuichi and covered his ears. He was so loud.

"Ne ne Eiri-kun. I want to see Shuichi. Can I? Can I? Can I?" he asked, hopping around Eiri and giving the blonde his best puppy eyes.

"Why do you want to bother Shuichi?" Eiri asked, scowling. Although he knew he would have to take Ryuichi to see Shuichi. Shuichi would enjoy it, anyway.

"This dance is for him right? I want to see him!" Ryuichi smiled. "Plus Tohma said he looked like me."

Eiri rolled his eyes and headed for the door.

"Come on then, and don't tell him about the dance. I want it to be a surprise," Eiri grumbled.

"Yatta!" Ryuichi shouted, running at Eiri and jumping on his back.

"Sank'yuu Eiri-kun," he shouted into the blonde's ear.

"GET OFF!" Eiri yelled just as loudly, trying to shake the annoying male off his back. "You're heavy!"

"Eiri-kun thinks I'm fat?…" Ryuichi asked, his bottom lip wobbling and his eyes getting all watery. He let out a broken hearted wail and ran into Tatsuha's arms.

"Eiri called me fat. He thinks I'm fat!" Ryuichi said, big tears falling down his face. Tatsuha hugged his lover tightly and glared at his brother.

"Stop being such a brat! Now do you want to visit Shuichi or not?" he said storming out of the dorm and down the corridor.

"HAI! Wait for me!" Ryuichi said, his tears stopping instantly as he ran after Eiri.

Tatsuha followed his hyperactive lover and Tohma smiled at the departing figures. It was nice to be together again like this. He sighed softly as he thought of his wife Mika. She was pregnant now, and they hadn't spent much time together lately. He grinned. He would take her out for dinner tonight. She deserved it.

He took out his mobile and dialled a familiar number.

"Mika, honey. Get dressed up, I'm taking you out to dinner tonight," he sad smiling softly.

"And what if I don't want to go?" a voice snapped on the other end.

"Then we can just stay in. I don't mind. I have the day off tomorrow."

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay. Dinner sounds nice. Don't be long," she said smiling softly to herself.

"Ok, bye," Tohma said and hung up. Mika smiled at the phone, patting her stomach gently.

"Baka," she said, grinning at the phone and hanging up.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Tadaima. Shuichi, are you here?" Eiri called as he walked through the door.

He removed his shoes and walked into the dorm, followed closely by Ryuichi and Tatsuha. He looked around for the pink-haired boy. He wasn't sitting on the couch nor was he in the kitchen.

Eiri heard a sound coming from the bedroom and soon Shuichi stumbled out, his hair looking a mess, dressed in his pajamas. Clearly, he had been trying to take a nap, although it didn't look as if he had slept much.

He waved slightly at Eiri but stopped mid-wave as he saw who was standing behind the blonde. He blinked, wondering if he was dreaming.

"Ah," the apparition spoke. "He does look like me!" Suddenly Shuichi was glomped, sending them both to the floor. Okay, so maybe he wasn't dreaming. He stared at the famous singer with wide eyes. Sakuma Ryuichi really was here.

"Hi, Shu-chan!" the famous singer said cheerfully, holding up the pink rabbit. "This is Kumagoro-chan. Say hello!"

Shuichi blinked and slowly reached out a hand to pat the toy rabbit on the head. Ryuichi smiled and looked at Kumagoro.

"Kumagoro likes Shu-chan. Kumagoro says Shu-chan is very nice!" he said.

The two brothers watching them let out a sigh. Eiri walked up to them, grabbing Ryuichi first and lifting him off Shuichi.

"The couch is comfier I assure you," he said, setting the singer on his feet before helping Shuichi up too. The pink-haired boy still looked dazed.

"You two sit down. We'll go get some drinks," he said, grabbing Tatsuha's arm and dragging him into the kitchen.

Ryuichi grabbed Shuichi hand and dragged him over to the couch. He sat down, pulling Shuichi to sit next to him. He sat the pink rabbit on his lap and began to play with its ear, humming softly.

"Ne, Shu-chan, Tohma said you can't talk." He tilted his head to the side slightly. "That's kinda sad."

Shuichi hung his head, staring at the hand's that rested in his lap. Ryuichi frowned slightly, studying the boy.

"Shuichi," he said, his voice normal now, no longer holding its childish playfulness. "I know you must have a very good reason to keep your words to yourself, but, you have to trust us, okay?"

Shuichi looked up at the singer, suddenly feeling as if he was talking to a totally different person. He blinked slightly wondering what he was getting at.

"You have people around you who really care for you. No matter what happened in your past, I'm sure they just want you to be happy, and they'll always stay by your side."

Ryuichi looked thoughtful for a moment, giving Shuichi time to consider his words.

"I know!" he said, clapping his hands together and grinning happily. "Kumagoro can take care of you!" he said, holding out the pink rabbit towards Shuichi. The boy's eyes widened as he looked at the rabbit offered to him. Slowly, he took the soft toy into his hands.

"Kumagoro will help take care of you," Ryuichi said, "until you feel like talking again. He will be there for you!" he said smiling softly. Shuichi looked at Ryuichi, eyes wide and looking completely confused.

"Here," Tatsuha said, pressing a steaming cup of tea into Ryuichi's hands.

"Sank'yuu!" Ryuichi said, returning to his cheerfully child-like self. He hugged Tatsuha with his free arm and pulled him to sit next to him.

Eiri gave Shuichi a steaming drink, smiling softly at him. The pink-haired boy took the drink gratefully. Eiri, having no room to sit on the couch, sat on the floor in front of the sofa instead.

The group sat talking for a while. Shuichi remained quiet, holding the rabbit loosely in his hand. After he had finished his drink he put the cup down on the coffee table, still holding the rabbit gently.

"Well, we better go now," Tatsuha said, casting a suggestive look at Ryuichi. The singer giggled and jumped to his feet, grabbing Tatsuha's arm.

"Bye bye, Shu-chan!" he said waving cheerfully at the boy, "See you later! Take good care of Kumaguro for me!" he said dragging Tatsuha towards the door.

"Bye. And don't be too loud," Eiri said, waving carelessly. He stood, taking the now free space on the sofa. He looked at Shuichi who still held the pink rabbit.

"So he gave Kumagoro to you, huh? I'm impressed, he doesn't go anywhere without that thing."

Shuichi frowned, realizing he had just taken something very precious off someone.

"Don't think about giving it back," Eiri said sternly, easily reading Shuichi's expression. "He gave you that thing for a reason. He wouldn't give it up easily. Take good care of it, okay?"

Shuichi looked at the pink rabbit again and nodded slowly, hugging it tightly. Eiri smiled and ruffled the boy's hair.

"You must be tired," he said. It was rather late by now and Shuichi had clearly been trying to take a nap when Eiri came back. "Let's go to bed."

Shuichi nodded, following Eiri to their room.

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Hiro and Suguru were heading for Hiro's dorm so the older teen could get some things. He had offered to stay with Suguru in his dorm for a few nights, since the green-haired teen was still nervous about being alone there.

"Sorry for being such a pain," he said softly, looking down at the ground. Hiro just smiled and ruffled Suguru's hair.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it," he said cheerfully. He opened the door to his dorm without thinking. He was met with the sight of Tatsuha and Ryuichi tangled together on the couch.

The four males stared at each other for a moment before the cheerful singer broke the silence.

"Hello, Suguru! Hello person I don't know!" he said brightly. The other three males' faces turned a bright red.

"I just came to get a few things. I'm staying with Suguru until he feels better," Hiro said, heading for his own bedroom while averting his gaze from the other two males.

Suguru turned bright red and stared at the floor again. "Hi, Ryuichi," he stuttered.

The two on the sofa untangled themselves and Ryuichi bounded over to Suguru. "Suguru-chan!" he shouted, glomping the other boy, who gave an exclamation of surprise.

"Hi, Ryuichi. How are you?" he asked with a kind smile.

"I've just been talking to Shu-chan. He's a very nice boy. Kumagoro is going to take care of him for a bit." he nodded, grinning.

Suguru laughed, smiling too. "That's very kind of you, Ryu-chan!" he said brightly.

Ryuichi nodded grinning proudly. "I am a very kind person!" he exclaimed, walking back to the sofa and sitting next to Tatsuha.

"Isn't that right?" he asked his lover sweetly.

Tatsuha smiled, wrapping an arm around the older man. "Yeah, that's right," he said nuzzling noses with him, causing Ryuichi to giggle.

"Right that's everything. We'll be leaving you two alone now," Hiro said as he returned.

"Bye, Suguru! Bye person I don't know!" Ryuichi said, waving.

"Hiro. My name's Hiro."

"Okay! Bye, Hiro! Take care of Suguru!" Both boys blushed faintly and Ryuichi just laughed. They left quickly heading for Suguru's dorm.

"Hmmm, Tatsuha are they dating?" he asked his lover curiously.

"No, but Suguru has a crush on Hiro."

Ryuichi smiled, nodding softly. His air had gone back to that of an adult now. He leaned against Tatsuha and smiled.

"I think Hiro likes Suguru too," he said, tilting his head to kiss Tatsuha on the cheek. "Now where were we?"

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"I'm sorry," Suguru said again as he handed a blanket to Hiro, who was currently making himself comfortable on the couch.

The older teen just smiled. "Relax, Suguru. I already told you, it's fine. Now go rest. You look exhausted."

The green haired teen nodded, smiling softly. "Thank you Hiro," he said walking towards his room. "Good night," he said before shutting the door.

Hiro watched the closed door for a moment, smiling softly. "Good night, Suguru."

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Suguru could not sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he kept thinking he could hear someone in the room. Even with his eyes open, he was sure he could see something in the shadows. He sat on the bed, his legs pulled close against his chest and chin resting on his knees. He could not relax no matter how hard he tired, even though he knew that Hiro was beyond the door sleeping on the sofa. He sighed and closed his eyes again but it didn't work.

He kicked his legs over the edge of the bed and got up, walking slowly and silently to the door. He walked into the living room, walking over to the couch.

"Hiro….Hiro, are you awake?" he asked softly, not wanting to wake him if he was asleep.

"Yeah," came a voice. The bundle on the couch moved and sat up, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. "Something wrong?" he asked.

Suguru said nothing and sat next to Hiro. The older teen wrapped an arm around his shoulders so the blanket was around both of them.

"Nothing….I just can't sleep," he said softly, feeling embarrassed.

Hiro smiled softly. "It's okay." He wrapped the blanket around them tightly, holding Suguru close against him.

"Go to sleep," he said quietly. Suguru was glad that it was dark and Hiro could not see his blush.

He nodded and closed his eyes. Instantly feeling relaxed by being in Hiro's arms, he fell asleep with a small smile on his lips. Hiro watched the boy in his arms for a long time. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, completely relaxed.

He brushed a strand of hair from Suguru's eyes. He looked so cute and fragile. He was small, like Shuichi. Smaller maybe. Hiro eventually closed his own eyes, still holding onto Suguru tightly.

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Eiri lay watching Shuichi sleep. The pink-haired boy held onto the rabbit tightly. He was snuggled close to Eiri. Eiri petted his soft hair gently and kissed the boy's temple.

Shuichi didn't know that Nittle Grasper was going to be playing at the dance. Ryuichi had explained his presence in the school as a simple visit to his lover. Eiri smiled. It would be a nice surprise for Shuichi. He loved the band. Eiri hugged Shuichi tighter, pulling him closer.

"Good night," he whispered into the boy's ear, never wanting to let him go.

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Well there you go chapter 15 done! YAY! Im so proud of myself, i got this out much earlier than the last one. I love summer holidays! Anyway, i hope you all liked the chapter. Especialy the TatsuhaxRyuichi part. I was planning on writting a lemon for them, but then the chapter would have been too long. So i decided against it. But, if my wonderfull readers would like a lemon between these two tell me, and i shall write it and add it as a separate chpter or something n.n

Anyway i hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, please review!


	18. Shopping Trip Chapter 16

Angel-chan: Ok drum roll please::Watches a drum roll past:: Ha ha vey funny ::galres at muse-chan::

Muse-chan::shrugs and walks away::

Angel-chan: anyway, I finally bring you chapter 16 of Chase away the nightmares. I can't believe I've written so much! When I started writing this I never thought I would write so much, and I never dreamt I'd get so many awesome reviews .startes to tear up. You guys mean so much to me ::sniff:: every review make me wanna write more ::starts crying::

Muse-chan::gets out and umbrella:: Here she gose

Angel-chan: thank you all so much! I love every single one of you::still crying and drowning self and muse-chan::

Muse-chan::floats past sitting in the umbrella:: She owns nothing now Read or Die……..errr I mean Read and review…..yeah….. ::paddles off somewhere::

Kumaguro: ON WITH THE FICT!!!

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Shuichi sat on the couch with the pink rabbit sitting in his lap. He tugged at the floppy ears absentmindedly. He was deep in thought. So deep in thought, he hadn't even noticed the Nittle Grasper music video now playing on the TV.

Shuichi was alone right now. Eiri had gone to talk to one of his teachers about something. Or maybe it was about the dance. Shuichi hadn't really been paying attention.

The dance would be held in a few days. The school was buzzing with excitement and it was all anyone could talk about. One of the main topics of gossip was who would be playing at the dance. It had all been kept very quiet and many people had made up their own theories, which ranged from the reasonable to the bizarre.

Shuichi ignored them, though. He wasn't really concerned by who would be providing the music. No. He was far more concerned by what he should wear. This one question was what had Shuichi in such a quiet and thoughtful mood. He wanted to look good. He had never been to something like this before so he didn't have any fancy clothes, but that wasn't the only problem. He also didn't have a lot of money.

He was worried too. What if Eiri took one look at Shuichi at the dance, probably wearing something scruffy, and decided he didn't like him anymore? This scared Shuichi. He didn't want Eiri to leave him. He wanted the night to be special. He sighed softly as he played with the toy rabbit's floppy ears. A part of him wondered why he wanted to make such an effort.

Well, it was the first time he had ever trusted anyone since that day. Hiro had been his only friend for so long. Now he suddenly had more. Good friends. Close friends he knew wouldn't hurt him. He didn't want to lose them by doing something stupid, and yet there was still the problem of Suguru. He need to help his new friend. Shuichi smiled slightly, a devious glint in his eyes. He had the perfect plan. If he asked Suguru to go with him to get a suit, they could help each other. And Shuichi would make sure they picked something that would make Hiro drool.

'Right….I'll have to ask Suguru.' Shuichi thought, a new determination filling him. Suguru would help him he was sure. Hopping to his feet, Shuichi went to put his shoes on and headed for the door, still clutching Kumaguro.

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Suguru blinked as the light of day hit his eyes. He groaned as he found the light too bright, tugging the blanket over his eyes and snuggling up to Hiro, enjoying the warmth the others body gave. A sad smile crossed his features as he realized that this was as close as he could ever be to the one he liked.

"You're awake," said a gentle voice and Suguru's eyes snapped open, looking up at Hiro suddenly to find the other wide awake. He had probably been awake for a while. He smiled down at the other boy.

"Sorry," Suguru said, sitting up and untangling himself from the blankets, blushing slightly as he felt Hiro's arm wrapped loosely around him, although the arm was instantly taken away when the green haired teen sat up, the blanket falling off them in the process.

"Are you feeling better now?" Hiro asked.

Suguru just nodded, yawning as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Good morning," he muttered.

Hiro just smiled and stood up. The blanket fell half onto the floor, the rest still tangled around Suguru.

"What do you want for breakfast?" he asked, walking towards the small kitchen.

"Oh no, it's okay. You're a guest. I'll make the breakfast!" he said quickly, jumping to his feet as he finished speaking, only to trip over the blanket. He fell towards the small wooden coffee table. He closed his eyes as he waited for the impact of his body into the coffee table…only it did not come.

"You need to be more careful," said a voice close to him. Very close.

Suguru opened an eye to see that Hiro had managed to catch him, and was now holding onto him tightly. Suguru's face turned even redder as he gave another small nod. Hiro gently sat him back down on the sofa, chuckling slightly. Suguru didn't move and instead sat back, face still red.

"It's okay. I don't mind. You saved me from having to watch Tatsuha and Ryuichi make out all night. It's the least I can do," he said, smiling and walking into the kitchen. "Now what would you like?" he asked as he began to search through the cupboards for something to eat.

"Anything," Suguru said quietly, his face still very red. He picked up the blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders, staring at the wall as he hummed softly. It was a piece of music he was working on for class and he had yet to get it just right.

He jumped as he felt a cool hand pressed against his forehead.

"You okay? You've been spacing out a lot lately," Hiro said standing in front of the green haired teen, a plate stacked with toast in his other hand.

"I'm fine, really I am," Suguru said softly, smiling reassuringly at his friend. Hiro looked sceptical but sat down next to the green-haired boy anyway, placing the toast on the table in front of him.

"Here, help yourself," he said, smiling.

The green-haired teen leaned forward to take a slice, nibbling on it slowly. They both sat in silence as they ate. A silence that made Suguru fidget slightly. He looked at the older teen out of the corner of his eye.

There was a gentle knock at the door that startled the younger boy, making him drop his toast in his lap. Butter side down, of course. He glared at the offending piece of food as he picked it up between his thumb and forefinger, as if it might bite him.

He now also had a nice patch of butter on his pajama pants.

"I'll get it. You go get dressed." Hiro offered as he stood and headed for the door. Suguru did not complain and instead headed for his bedroom.

When Hiro opened the door he was surprised to see Shuichi there, looking a bit worried and clutching the pink rabbit tightly. He gave his friend a small smile and Hiro stood back to let him in.

"Is everything okay, Shuichi? Suguru will be out soon. He's changing," Hiro said as he followed the pink-haired teen to the couch, sitting next to his friend.

Shuichi just nodded, still looking concerned. Hiro frowned at his friend's behaviour. A few moments later Suguru walked out of his room, looking slightly surprised to see Shuichi there.

"Shuichi, is everything okay?" he asked, concerned.

Shuichi nodded, grinning at the green-haired boy before he looked nervously as Hiro and then the door. He frowned and bit his lip.

"I get it. You wanna talk to Suguru alone ne, Shu-chan?" he said smiling kindly.

The pink-haired boy nodded, looking thankful for his friends' understanding. Hiro went to the door, getting his shoes and waving at his two friends.

"See ya later!" he called cheerfully, shutting the door behind him tightly. He frowned slightly as he wondered what Shuichi needed to talk to Suguru about all alone. Did he trust Suguru more now? Hiro couldn't help but feel a little hurt.

He shook his head and began to walk towards his room, hoping that the other two would be asleep or gone. He was being silly. It was good that Shuichi was starting to trust other people. He shouldn't feel jealous.

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"So what is it you want, Shu-chan?" Suguru asked curiously as he took a seat next to the other boy. Shuichi bit his lip again before pulling a writing pad out of his pocket and handing it to Suguru.

The younger one took it, looking at the page it was open on. There were only a few lines of writing. A lot of it had been crossed off and the page was full of scribbles. It seemed Shuichi had had a tough time trying to write down what he wanted to.

'_I want to look good for Eiri…..I need a suit…'_ was all it said. Suguru chuckled softly and smiled. This was what had Shuichi all worked up. Shuichi glared at Suguru as he laughed at him, his cheeks tinged slightly pink.

"You have quite a problem then, don't you?" Suguru said thoughtfully.

Shuichi gave the green-haired teen a pleading look, and Suguru laughed again.

"Okay…when do you want to go shopping?" he asked.

Shuichi bit his lip again, taking the pad and writing something down quickly before handing it back to Suguru.

'_but I don't have any money…' _it said. Shuichi was looking at the floor, face still red.

Suguru read the message and smiled again.

"It's okay. I can use Tohma's credit card," he said, grinning mischievously. "It's only supposed to be for emergencies…..but this is an emergency so….let's go!" he said cheerfully.

The pink-haired boy suddenly fixed his gaze with Suguru's, his amethyst eyes beginning to water. For a second Suguru thought Shuichi was going to cry, but suddenly he found himself with a Shuichi flying at him, wrapping him in a big hug, clearly saying thank you.

"You're welcome, Shuichi," he said kindly, smiling at the other boy. Shuichi looked much happier now.

"How about we go today? Would you like that, Shuichi?"

The pink-haired boy nodded franticly.

"Okay then, let's go!" Suguru said, grabbing his own coat.

"Do you need to tell Eiri-san where you're going?" he asked.

Shuichi shook his head, following Suguru.

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After Hiro had left Suguru's he went back to his own room, glad to find Tatsuha and Ryuichi weren't there. It was surprisingly peaceful. He quickly went to have a shower and got dressed.

Once he was freshened up he went to his room, picking up some of his books. He decided it might be fun to go to the park today. He could get some work done while watching the scenery. It would be calm and peaceful because of the winter chill. Not many people would be around.

So Hiro dressed warmly, donning a big cuddly coat that would keep him nice and warm. He checked his wallet to make sure he had enough money before he threw it back into his pocket. He debated whether he should go and ask Shuichi and Suguru if they would like to come along, but Shuichi had seemed to have something important on his mind and Hiro didn't want to disturb them. He frowned slightly as the niggling feeling of jealousy hit him again. Shuichi had always come to him with his problems before….why change now?

He sighed, throwing his bag over his shoulder. He walked towards the door, exiting the room and locking the door behind him. He shouldn't be worrying about these things. It was good Shuichi was starting to trust people again. He shouldn't feel jealous because of it.

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Eiri Yuki sat in the room along with about twenty giggling, hyperactive girls. Honestly, he hadn't realized how annoying they could be until he was stuck in a room with a lot of them for long periods of time. Why did he have to be involved with this? Oh yes…Shuichi.

He had been on his way to hand in an assignment when he had been lassoed as it were by Hikari. She had been so sweet, asking him so politely to come along to a meeting, just for five minutes. He couldn't refuse, especially when she had mentioned Shuichi. Damn girls and their 'intuition'. It just wasn't fair.

So now Eiri sat there, trying to think of what it was he had done in a past life that was so terrible that he was getting punished like this now. Maybe he had been some mass murderer, or just someone really evil…like a clown. Okay…so his train of thought was going a bit off track right now, but dammit! He was bored. Five minutes had quickly turned into thirty and still they were not finished.

"Ne, Eiri-kun, what do you think of these?" one girl asked, holding up a delicate looking ornament in the shape of an ornate snow flake. It was about the size of a small plate and delicate and glittery. He was sure he would have thought it pretty if he wasn't so pissed off.

"Yeah, looks fine," he said offhandedly, sounding bored.

The girl frowned, looking at the snow flake, but she seemed satisfied with his answer, even if it didn't sound very enthusiastic.

Hikari bit her lower lip and smiled apologetically at the blonde. Eiri ignored her and continued to stare stubbornly at the wall, the expression on his face clearly warning people to stay away.

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Suguru made sure that both he and Shuichi took warm enough clothes before they left. It was now so cold out that their breaths rose visible as the warm air went past their lips and was met with the cold winter air.

"Wow, it's cold," Suguru said, surprised at how fast the weather had changed.

Shuichi nodded in agreement, tugging the scarf tighter around his neck. Suguru had to laugh softly at Shuichi's appearance. He was bundled up in a big warm coat, a scarf that looked too long for him was warped securely around his neck and the lower half of his face, and a big woolly hat covered his pink hair and fell down to his eyes. The only part of Shuichi that wasn't covered by some manner of warm, woolly clothing were his eyes.

Suguru looked equally lost in a coat that was so big and puffy he was in danger of getting lost in one of its many folds. He had no scarf or hat so the wind was free to play with his green hair, turning his cheeks a gentle shade of pink.

"So where shall we go first?" Suguru asked looking around at the various shops. There were many boutiques where they could either rent or buy a suit of many different colours and styles. Shuichi looked slightly dizzy from the choice and shrugged, looking lost again.

Suguru sighed, equally at a loss as to where to start in their search. "Let's try here," he said, walking towards the nearest shop, Shuichi following him.

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It had been colder than he thought. He tugged the coat tighter around his body, his arms wrapped around him in an effort to keep more warmth in. He shivered slightly and glared at his bag. He had meant to try and do some homework but now he really couldn't be bothered. Yet it was also too cold to go back. Or maybe he was still sulking because he knew Suguru and Shuichi wouldn't be there.

He sighed again, his breath appearing before him as a small mist. He leaned back on the bench, tilting his head back so he could stare at the sky. He watched absentmindedly as the clouds drifted past.

"Ne, Papa, hurry up!" a small child called cheerfully, his voice full of joy as he ran around.

"Ah wait up, Michael! You know I can't run as fast as you!" called a familiar voice.

Hiro's head snapped in the direction the voice had come from so fast he almost got whiplash. It was K-sensei. Hiro gulped and tried to sit further back on the bench in an effort to hide himself. He could see the man now, running after a small boy who looked no older than five.

The child smiled at his father, stopping to run back to him and hugging him around the waist.

"Don't worry, Papa. I won't leave you behind!" the child proclaimed proudly. K smiled and ruffled the boy's short blond hair.

"I know you won't," K said softly, smiling at his son. Hiro felt a lump form in his throat at the sight of that smile. It was a smile he had never seen on the teacher's face around school.

He heard a delicate yet powerful laughter following K, a woman's. She was stunningly beautiful, her eyes shinning with passion and cunning. A woman not to be messed with. She walked up to the two males, a smile painted across her face.

"I hope you're not planning on leaving me!" she said, sounding slightly hurt.

"Mama's too slow. She's slower than Papa!" the boy said sternly, sounding as if he was giving his mother a row.

The woman laughed again, the smile reaching her eyes and making them shine with mirth. "I'm sorry. I shall try better to keep up," she promised.

Hiro watched the happy family; they had started walking again and hadn't even noticed him. He shrank back more, though, hunching his shoulders and trying his best to hide in his coat.

This was more awkward than the first time he had gone back to K's class. He watched them leave slowly, all three walking together now. Suddenly Hiro didn't want to sit around anymore. He had the urge to follow them, although why he wasn't even sure himself. Maybe he wanted to see more of K. Or maybe he really was just that bored.

He got to his feet and grabbed his backpack, following along slowly with his hands in his pockets and head to the ground. He had a feeling this would be a long day.

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Eiri was finally released from Hell and allowed to return to his room. He sighed, kicking his shoes off and looking around for Shuichi. There was no sign of him. The room was silent. He frowned slightly, wondering where the pink-haired boy had run off too.

He pushed the small lump of worry that formed in his gut away. He was sure the boy was fine. He had probably just gone to visit Hiro or Suguru. He looked around the apartment for any sign of a note or anything that would tell him where the boy had gone.

He finally found a sheet of paper sitting on top of the TV, Shuichi's messy handwriting scrawled across the paper.

'_Gone shopping,' _was all it said.

Eiri sighed, dropping the paper and falling down onto the couch. It was far too quiet now and he didn't like the silence. He turned on the TV angrily, choosing to glare at it, as if it were at fault for the boy being away.

"I wonder how long he'll be…" Eiri asked the empty room. His only answer was the sound from the TV.

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"What about this one?" Suguru said, holding up a plain black suit.

Shuichi frowned and shook his head, eyes narrowed. Suguru shrugged and continued to look around the shop. Buying a suit was harder than he had thought. There were so many different style and colours that it made his mind spin.

He shook his head slightly, his green hair bouncing around him. He heard Shuichi sigh softly as he looked at the other suits. The boy looked almost bored now, or maybe he had given up on finding anything he liked.

"Don't worry, Shuichi. We'll find you something," Suguru said, smiling reassuringly.

Shuichi smiled softly, and nodded once before turning back to the suits again.

Suguru could see the shop assistant eyeing them too. His eyes were narrowed and he obviously didn't like the two young males in the shop. Suguru sighed again. It was very uncomfortable trying to look at the clothes while knowing you were being watched like a hawk.

"Come on, Shuichi. Let's try somewhere else," Suguru said, finally having enough.

The pink-haired boy nodded quickly and hurried after Suguru, who strode quickly out of the shop.

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By now Suguru was sure they had gone into every clothes shop imaginable. He sighed, falling down heavily into a chair. Shuichi sat down lightly, carrying some coffees, and handed one to Suguru.

"Thanks," the other teen said, taking the drink and warming his hands around it.

Shuichi just smiled weakly, looking as fed up as Suguru felt. The green-haired boy sighed again and rested his head on the table.

"It shouldn't be this hard to buy a damn suit," he muttered. "He probably won't even care anyway," he said softly, under his breath, thinking Shuichi hadn't heard him.

He jumped when he felt a hand rest on his arm gently. He looked up to see the amethyst-eyed teen looking at him with concern. Suguru smiled.

"I'm ok," he said, trying to make himself sound believable.

Shuichi frowned, not believing the boy for a second, but he removed his hand and took a sip of his coffee, watching the boy out of the corner of his eyes. He wondered if Hiro knew how much he was hurting the other teen, unintentionally of course. But still, hadn't he noticed by now the way Suguru acted around him… looked at him?

Shuichi frowned and looked angrily at his cup. He needed to have a word with Hiro. His silly obsession with the teacher was getting out of hand. He needed a good telling off in Shuichi opinion. But how could he tell Hiro without telling him Suguru liked him. Shuichi frowned thoughtfully. There had to be something he could do.

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He couldn't understand what he was doing. This was beyond insane, yet he kept following them. After the park they had gone to a small café for a meal, and they were now walking around the various toy shops available. The little boy ran up to each shelf excitedly, looking at all toys with his eyes lighting up. He laughed and would occassionaly grab a toy off the shelf, running over to his parents to show them. Each time he would get told gently, yet firmly, to take the toy back and each time he would pout slightly before running over to another area of the shop, grabbing another toy.

It was a rather sweet sight to watch. The two parents standing close to each other, watching their son carefully yet letting him run off on his own. It was almost sickeningly sweet. Hiro frowned slightly as he watched them, pretending to look at the DVDs.

He had been tailing them for almost an hour now, and yet he still couldn't turn back. Some force kept him firmly in place.

"You know, some people would call what your doing stalking," said a familiar, calm voice.

Hiro stiffened instantly and dropped the DVD he had been pretending to look at. Slowly, almost fearfully Hiro turned his head to the side to see the blonde teacher standing calmly beside him.

Hiro gulped.

"I'm not……" he said lamely.

K sighed, picking up the DVD Hiro had dropped. "Come," he said, turning around and heading for the door.

His wife and son we're still in the shop. Hiro caught a glimpse of the woman watching them. She looked slightly confused but her attention was dragged away from her as the boy bought over another toy for her inspection.

K led him to a small coffee shop opposite the shop they had just been in.

"Sit," K instructed, pointing to a table in the corner before walking over to the counter. He came back with two steaming cups, setting one down in front of the teen.

"Talk," he said, his voice still calm and even, although Hiro could see anger seething behind his blue eyes.

The teen gulped, choosing to stare at his drink so he wouldn't have to look at the other. "I'm sorry….," he said softly. K said nothing, he didn't even move. He continued to stare at the boy in front of him.

"Why were you following us?" he asked. Hiro thought he could detect a hint of worry in the older male's voice. He was just protecting his family. That's why his eyes were so angry. Hiro relaxed slightly, although his shoulders were still tense.

"I…..just……I don't know. I was bored," he said shrugging, lifting his hand to take the handle of the cup, though he didn't lift it to his lips. He simply pushed the cup along the table a little.

"I see. Tell me something, Nakano-san. Does it upset you, seeing me with my family?" he asked, curiosity mixed in with the anger.

Hiro sat silently, processing the question, frowning in thought. If he liked K so much he should feel something, anger, pain….anything. And yet….

"No….," he said simply—truthfully. The answer surprised him.

"I see," K said, sounding confused. "Then why were you following us?"

Hiro bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders. "I really don't know."

"Do you still like me?" K asked, his voice softer now, almost concerned for his student.

"I…..I think so. I don't know…." Hiro trailed off.

K nodded and smiled knowingly. Hiro's eyes narrowed slightly in confusion but he didn't ask what had made the teacher look so smug.

"Hiro, I think you're on your way to recovery!" he said, a joking tone now entering his voice.

"What?" Hiro asked, now even more confused. K just smiled and stood slowly.

"You'll figure it out," he said. "But you better hurry before it's too late," were his parting words to the teen, as he left the café, walking over to his waiting wife and son. The boy instantly clung to his father's hand, looking up questioningly at him.

Hiro simply sat there a slight dazed look on his face.

"What….what the heck does that mean?" he asked out loud, as if he expected K to still be there.

He blinked slowly as it hit him that the teacher had long gone. Angrily he stood, storming out of the café. He wanted to go now. He wanted to go and slouch in front of the TV and forget everything the teacher had just said to him.

"Before it's too late……..what…..what the hell??!!" he shouted angrily, scaring the people near him. He simply glared at them, as if daring them to say anything before stomping off and heading back to the university.

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"What do you think?" Suguru asked Shuichi as he stepped out of the dressing room.

He wore a black suit with a plain white shirt, along with a dark emerald green cumberbund and bow tie. The suit had the effect of making him look very cute. It didn't make him look older, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He did look very smart, though.

Shuichi nodded and gave him the thumbs up. Suguru smiled, looking at himself in the mirror before nodding.

"Have you decided yet?" he asked the other boy.

Shuichi frowned biting his lower lip and shook his head. He looked at the two suits in his hands. One was a plain white suit with a pale pinkish shirt. The other was black with a dark blackish purple shirt. Both looked nice on him yet he simply couldn't decide. Suguru smiled and shook his head slightly, walking back into the changing room.

"We can look around a few more shops before you make up your mind if you like," Suguru said.

Shuichi looked thoughtfully at the door that Suguru voice was coming beyond. He then shook his head vehemently, even though the other couldn't see him. He had had enough of wandering around trying to find something suitable for the dance. There was no way he was going to go through this for much longer.

Shuichi looked at the suits thoughtfully before he picked up the white one, and swapped the shirts around, so now the purple shirt was with the white suit. Suguru had said the purple shirt looked good on him and that it made his eyes stand out.

Finally making up his mind he smiled and nodded. When Suguru came out of the dressing room, he handed the dark purple shirt and white suite to Suguru.

The green-haired teen smiled and nodded. He put the other suites they had tried on back and walked over to the counter. Suguru paid for the outfits, smiling kindly at the lady behind the till.

"Come on, let's go home," he said to Shuichi, handing him one of the bag. "I'm exhausted."

Shuichi followed, nodding in agreement. It had been a long day and both were eager to get back.

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Eiri had fallen asleep on the couch but he woke instantly as he heard the door open, almost as if he had been awake all along.

"Shuichi?" he asked, sitting up and looking for the boy.

He caught a glimpse of the pink-haired teen running past him and into the other bedroom, the one that was supposed to be Shuichi's. Eiri frowned. He had also noticed the teen hugging something tightly to his chest. He wondered what it was. He watched as the pink-haired boy walk out of the room, the pink rabbit clutched in his hands. He had probably taken it with him. Eiri smiled slightly at how attached he was to the toy.

Soon enough the boy came back, his face slightly red from the cold. He walked over to where Eiri sat, sitting next to the blonde and very close to him. Eiri watched Shuichi silently as the other male rested his head on the blonde's shoulder and closed his eyes. Eiri blinked slowly, a bit surprised at the action.

"Tired?" he asked softly.

Shuichi nodded slowly, moving a little closer to the blonde. Eiri smiled softly and shifted until they were both in a comfortable position with Shuichi almost leaning against Eiri's chest, Kumaguro held securely with one arm. Soon Eiri heard the boy's breathing even out, his body relaxing as sleep claimed him. Eiri smiled softly, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and turning his attention back to TV that had been left on. He shook his head and switched the thing off. It wasn't as if he would pay any attention to it. He looked down again at the smaller boy in his arms, a small smile forming on his lips. He was happy enough right now. He didn't need anything else.

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Suguru put his bag away safely in his closet. He stared at it for a moment before he shut the doors. He suddenly felt sad again. Hiro wouldn't notice, nor would he care. They were simply going together as friends in the long-haired teen's eyes. Suguru frowned and collapsed onto his bed. Closed his eyes and nuzzled the pillow, wrapping his arms around it and hugging it tight.

He remembered his resolution from a few days ago…to tell Hiro his feelings at the dance. His heart speed up and face flushed at the very idea. Fear had a firm grip on his gut and he suddenly felt nauseous.

"I can't do it!" he said, burying his head into the pillow. He felt a tear slide down his cheek, causing his face to burn more. He punched the pillow in anger before burying his face in it again.

"I just can't…… I don't want him to hate me," he said softly, closing his eyes and relaxing slightly.

He was tired, exhausted from walking around the streets of Tokyo all day. He allowed sleep to claim his body, giving it a chance to heal his aching muscles.

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Hiro was now sitting at home. Tatsuha and Ryuichi were…somewhere. He didn't know where they had gone nor did he care. He was too busy trying to figure out K's departing words.

"_You'll figure it out…but you better hurry before it's too late."_

Hiro sighed angrily as he ran his fingers through his messy hair for the hundredth time. He still wasn't sure what the blonde had meant. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking back on their encounter.

What he had told K had been the truth. Seeing him with his family he had felt nothing…hurt, anger or any other emotion attached to watching your crush with someone else had been completely absent. Yet the blonde still captivated him for some reason. Maybe Hiro was just the sort of person who couldn't let go.

He sighed again running his fingers through his hair for the hundred and first time now. He now looked as if a small hurricane had attacked his hair.

His thoughts dragged back to Shuichi and Suguru. He hoped they were okay. He also wondered what it was Shuichi had wanted to talk to Suguru about alone. He could still feel a tinge of jealousy within him and he felt ashamed because of it.

"Damn I need a drink," he muttered, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a can of beer. He popped the tab and went back to brood on the couch. For once, he was annoyed that Tatsuha wasn't here. It was far too quiet now and he was alone with his thoughts.

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Ayaka sat in the small café, nursing a steaming mug of coffee. Her head was tilted to one side as she stared out the window, tapping her foot impatiently. She glanced at her watch again and frowned. He was late. She took a sip of her coffee, closing her eyes for a moment savouring the warmth.

"Ayaka-chan, I'm sorry to keep you waiting," said a deep, calm voice.

The girl's eyes snapped open and a sweet smile graced her lips. "Uesugi-san," she said politely, standing to bow at the man who had just walked up to her table.

The older male smiled slightly, inclining his head slightly. "Please sit," he said as he took his own seat.

Ayaka watched him for a moment, noticing he still wore the priest's robes. She took her own seat, warming her hands once again on the mug.

"Would you like anything to drink?" she offered, the monk shook his head lightly.

"No I am fine, thank you. Now what is this foolish business with my son?" he asked, his tone now serious.

Ayaka turned her eyes away, making them instantly fill with water her lips, tilted downwards. She was a surprisingly good actor.

"He said that he does not want to marry me," she said quietly, her voice quivering slightly, as if on the verge of tears. She saw the monk tense slightly as an expression of anger brushed across his calm face.

"What foolishness! Your marriage has been arranged for a long time now. He's just getting cold feet!" said the male sternly.

Ayaka sobbed softly and shook her head. "No no, he took the ring. He said he hated me and that he never water to see me again," she said, holding out her hand to prove her point. Her voice wobbled more now, sounding very much like she was holding back her tears by will alone. She let out a deep sigh and rubbed her eyes.

"But…. It's not Eiri-sans fault. It's that new roommate of his," she said, her voice holding a note of venom as she spat out the word roommate. Her eyes shifted to look Eiri's father straight in the eyes, her own still watering. "He's poisoned Eiri-san against me. It's all his fault!" She looked away again and held her face in her hand, shoulders shaking slightly.

"He's ruined everything," came the muffled voice.

By now Eiri's father's face held a look of utter fury. No one had ever seen a monk so angry, even some of the customers in the café moved away lest the monk's anger be unleashed on them. He took a deep shuddering breath, trying to control his anger.

"That foolish boy!" he said quietly, his tone icy. "Do not worry, Ayaka-chan. I will make that foolish son of mine see sense. Your marriage has been arranged for a long time. Your mother and father are good friends of mine. This betrothal will still go ahead." He sighed again, hand shaking slightly in anger.

"I will talk with him," he said before standing and walking over to Ayaka, resting a hand on her shaking shoulders.

Ayaka froze for a moment, lifting her head to look at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Do not be sad. We will fix this," he said gently, smiling softly at her.

Ayaka smiled softly again, a sad piteous smile. "Thank you," she said, sniffing as she rubbed at her eyes again.

He gave her one last small nod before leaving. Ayaka sighed softly, watching him as he vanished into the crowd. Once he was out of sight she calmly took a napkin from the table and dried her eyes. Once done, she calmly scrunched the paper up, looking very much as if she had never been crying only moments ago. Instead a small cunning smirk crossed her lips, eyes flashing maliciously.

"Let's see you deal with your father, Eiri-kun," she said, spitting out the honorific "-kun" with as much spite and disrespect as she could. She took up her mug of coffee again sipping at the warm liquid.

"This will be fun," she said, giggling softly to herself.

If the furious expression on the monks face earlier hadn't scared the rest of the customers, the cruel cunning smirk on Ayaka's lips had them running for the hills.

What was that saying, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' or something like that. Ayaka sure was doing her best to live up to this.

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Eiri had been dozing peacefully when there was a, angry hammering at his door. Shuichi jumped in his arms, leaning on Eiri even more as he gazed fearfully at the door. Eiri frowned slightly, his grip on the smaller boy tightened.

"Wait here," he said, untangling himself from the warmth of the other as he walked over to the door.

He paused for a moment, taking a moment to put on his best 'I'm-pissed-so-you-better-leave-before-I-kick-your-ass' look before he opened a door. He managed to keep up the look for about two seconds before he realized who he was glaring at. His expression faulted as he gulped softly. His father stood at the other side of the door, his expression furious. He looked almost ready to murder.

The blonde sighed and turned to face Shuichi. "Shuichi…go visit Hiro or something. I'll come pick you up when I'm done here."

The pink-haired boy nodded. He jumped off the couch, making sure to take Kumaguro with him. He cast a fearful glance at the intimidating male as he dashed past him. The monk glared at the boy, watching him carefully.

"So that's him," he said disdainfully. He looked at his son, eyes narrowed.

"You've been talking to Ayaka." Eiri said, standing aside to let his father in.

"The poor girl is distraught. You have really upset her, yet she still seems to want to take you back." The man sighed and sat down on the couch, Eiri glaring after him.

"What if I don't want her back?" The blonde said calmly, arms crossed over his chest. He did not sit. The older male glared at his son.

"Your marriage has been arranged since the time you were children. You cannot refuse," he said sternly. His tone left no room for argument,

"Father, this is the 21st century, I am not going to be forced into an arranged marriage," he said, resisting the urge to stamp his foot like an angry child. He needed to outwit his father. He needed to be strong and mature and resist the urge to throttle him.

"And what do you propose we say to her family? Her mother and father? My friends? How do we explain it to them?" he asked. His hands that were resting on his lap shook with suppressed rage.

"I don't know. Tell them congratulations on raising such a bitch for a daughter, but sorry I'll have to refuse," Eiri said, shrugging his shoulders and looking bored. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, as whatever dam that was holding back his father's anger burst.

"Such foul language. What has that poor girl done to you? How dare you speak so ill of her! And if you dare speak to her or her parents like that…" he said through gritted teeth.

Eiri's eyes bore into his fathers, both fighting a silent battle.

"Or what? You'll spank me? Cut my allowance? Please I'm far beyond the age where you have any control over me. I have my own life and own mind. I don't need your lectures," Eiri said, striding calmly over to the door.

"You should leave now. I'm sure you are missed at the temple," he said sourly, hoping the older male would take the hint.

The monk stood and straightened his robes, looking at his son with eyes narrowed.

"This marriage will go ahead," he said icily as he walked out the door, turning back for a moment to glare at his son once more.

"Good luck with finding some poor sap to marry her then," Eiri said as he shut the door in his father's face.

He stood there for a few moments, listening to the man's footsteps as they went further and further away until he could no longer hear them. Once he was sure he had left, he stormed over to the couch and collapsed on it.

"That bitch……that damn bitch……GAH!!! BURN IN HELL, YOU BITCH!!" he roared, digging his fingers into his hair and tugging on the short locks in sheer frustration.

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A man sat in a dusty room. There was nothing in the small stuffy room. The occupants had left long ago, and no one had moved in since allowing the place to fall into a state of disrepair. The male sat cross legged on the floor, a framed photograph in his hands.

The photograph was of a small family, consisting of a woman, a man and a child. The older male in the photo sported short dark-green hair and emerald eyes. His face bore a kind, soft smile and his arm was draped around that of the smaller woman, his wife. The woman had long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her kind brown eyes shimmered with love and warmth. In her arms was a small boy no older that one. The child had his mother's kind brown eyes and father's vibrant green hair. The child smile was big and warm.

The family looked so happy, like any normal family.

"Soon you will come back home son," said a quiet voice, soft and horse as if the person had a sore throat.

"Your mom's missed you….so have I. You have been away for far too long," he said again, tracing a finger across the glass over the photo.

The male sighed softly and looked around the room, obviously seeing things that others could not.

"Honey, please make some tea…Suguru will be back soon," he said to no one. The picture in his hands began to shake slightly.

"Honey…where's the tea? ….Hurry up!" he shouted, his hands shaking even more. He dropped the frame and got to his feet quickly.

"Must I do everything myself!" he snapped storming over to what was once the kitchen. He sighed softly.

"I know, you miss him too. Don't worry, he'll be home soon. We'll be a family again," he said smiling before returning to where he had been sitting forgetting about the tea. He sat on the floor again and returned to his study of the photograph.

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Shuichi had taken refuge at Hiro's as Eiri had suggested. He was currently sitting on the couch, his legs hugged up against his chest as Hiro watched him with concern.

"Shuichi, what's wrong?" he asked again, but the pink-haired boy just shook his head as he chewed his bottom lip nervously.

Hiro sighed again, walking over to his friend and sitting next to him. "Come on, you always used to tell me when something was wrong. Don't clam up on me now," he said, smiling softly.

Shuichi looked at this friend with gratitude and nodded softly before he took the notebook off the table and began to write quickly. Once he was done he handed the notebook back to Hiro.

The long-haired male read the note quickly before shaking his head.

"Is this all your worried about?" he asked, holding up the book. Shuichi's note explained that someone had come to visit Eiri, someone who looked very angry and didn't seem to like him much. Typically, Shuichi was now worried that Eiri would start hating him because of this person, for whatever reason.

"Shu-chan, listen to me," Hiro said, embracing his friend in a loose hug. "Eiri-san cares for you very much. He would never abandon you. I trust him," Hiro added softly.

Shuichi looked up at his friend with big purple eyes. Hiro smiled and ruffled the pink hair.

"And I know you like Eiri-san a lot too, ne?" he said, making his friend blush a delightful shade of pink. Hiro laughed again.

"So what were you and Suguru doing today anyway?" he asked offhandedly, trying not to sound desperate to know. Shuichi just placed a finger to his lips and grinned.

'_Secret'_

Hiro pouted.

"Awwww come on, Shuichi. You can tell me!" he said, giving his friend the best puppy eyes he could muster.

Shuichi just shook his head and kept his mouth firmly shut. Hiro sighed and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hmph, fine! Be like that then," he said, sulking.

Shuichi just smiled softly, hugging Kumaguro as he watched his friend. He was determined to make the dance memorable for both Hiro and Suguru. He knew his friend had some feelings for the younger green haired boy. He just needed a push.

There was a sudden knock at the door and, as Hiro was sulking, Shuichi got up to answer it. Eiri stood there, his hair a mess.

"You coming back?" he asked. He was obviously still angry about something, but he wasn't mad at Shuichi.

The pink-haired boy nodded, waved a goodbye to Hiro, and left with the blonde.

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Angel-chan: And here ends the chapter, yatta! I did it::dances::

Muse-chan: don't look so happy, you still have a long way to go.

Angel-chan: xP ah shuddap::smacks muse-chan with a rolled up newspaper:: Anyway, review minna and feed a hungry muse ne! n.n till chapter 17 ja matta ne!!! .waves.


	19. The Dance Chapter 17

**Edit 27/03: Replaced with Betad chapter.**

OoO deepest and most apologeict bow OoO

gomen nasai minna-san!!! I'm so so sorry I can't believe how long it's been since I last updated it's crazy, seriously im worse than miss J.K.Rowling and everyong though she was slow with churnning out those books. But before we get onto the story first i wish to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. Each and every review I get makes me so so happy n.n seriously you guys all rule so hard!!

I love each and evey one of you!!! oOo big hugs to everyone oOo

Ok I'll stop my ranting there, since I could go on for pages and pages about how much I love you all!! So I shall shut up now and just say one thing...enjoy!!

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The school was a buzz. Students could not sit still in their classes and the tutors had long given up on trying to teach their unruly charges and instead allowed them to talk amongst themselves while they sat at their desks quietly, some doing paper work or some getting forty winks. Either way there was no proper work going on. The students were far too excited, for today was the day of the dance. The main topic of gossip was what the name of the band that would be playing was. Normally this wouldn't generate too much excitement, but there were whispers that the band was famous and someone was sure they had seen Ryuichi from Nittle Grasper. The rumours were running riot.

Some of course were more exited than others. One person who didn't seem too happy about the whole excitement was a blonde novelist named Eiri. He couldn't even remember what class he was in anymore, with his head on the desk trying to sleep. He had the worst headache of all time—even hangovers didn't hurt this much—and he just had a feeling things would only get worse. The school day had only started three hours ago and already he had been asked to the dance by 18 girls, 5 boys and 1 teacher. It was getting beyond ridiculous, and he could feel the eyes of many students trained on him. He was sure by the end of the day he would have many more unwanted invitations.

Sometimes being a famous author was more trouble than it was worth. The blonde let out a small groan of annoyance and stood, quickly gathering his books and leaving. The teacher didn't even bother to say anything as she was currently listening to her iPod, her head bopping to the music and utterly oblivious to the actions of her class.

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Shuichi, Suguru and Hiro weren't fairing much better in their classes, in fact all three felt an oncoming headache as most of the students took the free time to play whatever they wanted. The resulting mixture of sounds from the various different instruments belting out various different tunes was enough to make anyone's hair stand on end. The class certainly wasn't in harmony anyway. The teacher currently sat at her desk, a vein ticking clearly in her head, however the students didn't seem to notice the warning sign that their teacher was about to blow. She clutched the pen in her hand so tightly Hiro feared it would snap at any moment.

Shuichi, having no interest in watching the teacher slowly lose her patience, began tapping the top of the desk with his pen, staring off into space. Suguru was chewing on his lip looking slightly worried, while Hiro watched their sensei in amusement. Occasionally he would take some notes, writing something down and try to look thoughtful. Whatever they were doing, the three sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

While Suguru's and Hiro's thoughts mainly revolved around the dance and other such trivial things Shuichi's own were in turmoil. Not only was he worried about the dance, being at such a social event and around so many people, but today he had decided, he wanted…..no needed to tell Eiri everything.

The blonde had been so kind to him, helping him and taking care of him, being a friend without asking any questions…waiting patiently for Shuichi to be ready to tell him about his past himself. The pink-haired teenager sighed and rested his head on his arms.

"Are you ok, Shuichi?" asked a small concerned voice.

Shuichi raised his head for a moment to smile and nod at Suguru, although he wasn't okay at all, nor did he look it. Worry was evidently creased his features.

What if Eiri hated him once Shuichi told him everything? What if he never wanted to see him again? No, he didn't want to loose Eiri. The blonde had become someone very important to him. He couldn't lose him.

So, should he not tell Eiri? Should he just enjoy the night and the time with him? The pink-haired male sighed again, resting his head on his arms once more. Whatever he chose, he had an ominous feeling for tonight. Something was going to change. Something would happen. Well, maybe he was worrying too much.

"We should leave," Hiro said, pointing at their teacher with his pen. Her eyes were narrowed in anger and her lips were pressed together so much they were hardly visible. She was most defiantly approaching eruption. The brave would flee while they had the chance.

Shuichi's head shot up and he nodded quickly. Suguru had already packed his bag and thrown it over his shoulder. The three friends strode quickly across the classroom, weaving in-between the havoc of their class and towards the door. They managed to escape to the hallway without incident and were walking back to heir dorm when it happened.

"GET OUT!! GET OUT NOW, OUT OF MY SIGHT!! GO!!!" and a crash. The three friends looked at each other for a moment. The silence that fallowed was eerie. It was far too quiet.

"Run." Suguru said, just before they heard the rushing of many footsteps. He needn't tell them twice. The three boys dashed quickly out of the line of fire, not wanting to get caught up in the stampede of escaping students.

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A few minutes later the three boys, out of breath and with a slightly panicked look about, them managed to find Eiri, whom they had silently agreed to look for. Shuichi smiled to himself. His friends understood him too well. It was almost scary.

The four boys now sat in the quietest part of the library they could find, where the noise level only resembled a dull roar.

"Why is everyone so excited about a stupid dance?" Eiri muttered angrily, arms crossed across his chest. He glared at anyone who fell into his field of vision.

"Ummmm, aren't you the one who helped organize this thing?" Hiro asked tentatively. Obviously no one had ever told Hiro never to poke a sleeping dragon. Eiri turned his fierce glare on Hiro, eyes narrowed into dangerous gold slits.

"Forget I said anything!" Hiro said quickly, holding up his hand in defense. Eiri said nothing and continued to glare at the people who passed him.

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Once classes were officially over, everyone decided to go back to their rooms to get ready. But before the four friends could go their separate ways Shuichi stopped them. He quickly held up his notebook, open on the page he had just written something on. He handed the book to Suguru.

Suguru quickly read the note and nodded.

"Shuichi said we should get ready together for our dates, while you two," he said pointing to Hiro and Eiri, "go make yourselves handsome for us." His cheeks were slightly pink when he finished.

"Shuichi's words not mine," he said showing them the book.

"Ok, whatever," Eiri said, acting as nonchalant as usual. Hiro nodded, looking at his two friends for a moment.

"I guess I'll come pick you up at 6," he said to Suguru.

The green-haired teen just nodded, keeping his eyes to the floor and hoping his face didn't turn any redder.

Shuichi grabbed one of Suguru arms, cheerfully waved at Hiro and dragged him down the hall. The two younger boys then went to Shuichi dorm first to pick up his suit then they both went to Suguru's dorm where they could get ready.

"They're like a pair of girls," Eiri said, to anyone who didn't know him his tone might have sounded cold, but Hiro could detect the small note of fondness he had for the two boys who had just left.

Eiri sighed and turned on his heel abruptly, heading in the opposite direction to his dorm.

"I need coffee….strong coffee," he explained at Hiro's perplexed look.

"Ah, see you later then."

"Hn," was the only reply the annoyed blond gave.

Hiro sighed running his fingers through his hair and heading for his own room. The place he shared with Tatsuha. Tatsuha was hyperactive most of the time. Who knew what he would be like now?

"This will be fun." Hiro muttered darkly.

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Once Hiro opened the door to his apartment he instantly wished he hadn't. The room had the appearance of being hit by a party of toddlers. Tatsuha, meanwhile, was running around, dressed in only boxers and a plain white unbuttoned shirt. He was currently throwing items of clothing over his shoulder, picking them up again only to shout and throw them again.

"Where's my tie!!" he yelled, his voice high and panicky.

Hiro wondered if the other boy realized he still had about four hours to get ready before he quickly decided that he really didn't want to get involved. He walked towards the bathroom, deciding to have a shower first.

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Suguru stood, sorting out their clothes and hanging them carefully so they would not get creased. The sound of water running could be heard coming from the bathroom, in which Shuichi was currently washing up. Suguru walked around the small room, tidying up. His thoughts however weren't on the task at hand or even getting ready for the dance. What scared him the most was that he was going to the dance with Hiro…as his date. Suguru felt his cheeks heat up and he frowned, bowing his head to his face even though no one was there to see it.

'_How does Hiro really feel about me?'_ he thought to himself, his frown deepening.

'_He probably just sees me as a friend. A younger friend……like a kid he needs to take care of.'_ Suguru bit his lip at this thought, an overwhelming sadness falling into his belly like a lead weight.

He blinked quickly, standing and dumping the rubbish in the bin before he headed for his room where he began to tidy up his desk, putting his books and homework away carefully.

He continued in this manner, finding small tasks to keep his mind occupied, until Shuichi came back a towel wrapped around his hair and a big fluffy bathrobe wrapped around his body. He tapped Suguru on the shoulder, who had been busy organizing his CD collection in alphabetical order, to tell him the shower was free. The green-haired teen looked up at his friend, giving the other a small smile before setting the CD he had been holding in his hand down on the floor.

"Thanks, Shuichi. There's a hair dryer by the bedside table if you want to dry your hair. I'm going to have a shower now, ok?" he said, walking towards the bathroom, leaving Shuichi to stare after him with a worried expression, his head tilted to one side slightly.

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Hiro sat on his bed, rubbing his temples in small circles and taking a few deep breaths. Tatsuha could still be heard barrelling about in the living room, shouting something about matching socks. Hiro had had the good sense to lock his door as soon as he walked in.

With a sigh, the long-haired teen fell back onto his bed and closed his eyes. He knew he should probably get ready but he just couldn't summon the energy when he could feel an oncoming migraine.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Eiri ran a hand through his messy blond hair, studying his reflection. No matter how many times he had brushed it or how much of the goop called hair gel he had smothered into it, it remained a controlled mess. Sighing he gave up on trying to tame his hair and walked over to where he had hung his suite earlier, regarding it with a critical gaze and wondering if it really looked good on him. Not that he really cared what anyone else thought… He just wanted to look good for Shuichi. He wanted to make the night perfect for the silent boy.

The blond shook his head lightly, his behaviour was surprising him. He never really cared for anyone this much…never wanted to make them happy and do anything for them. He shed his clothing quickly, having bather earlied and dressed in some clean clothing for warmth.

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Suguru had been standing under the warm spray of the shower for longer than he thought. His skin had gone bright lobster red and pruned by the time he stepped out. He wrapped a towel lazily around his waist, walking into the small living room area when the pink-haired boy say patiently, already dressed and ready to go. His back was perfectly straight as he sat rigidly in his seat not wanting to spoil his suit.

"Sorry, guess I was in there for a while," Suguru said sheepishly, offering Shuichi an apologetic smile. "I'll go get changed now. I won't be long."

Shuichi simply nodded in reply before turning back to whatever it was he had been watching on the TV. Suguru walked into his small bed room then to dress.

The green-haired teen quickly dried his hair, brushing it neatly. He never really knew how to style it anyway. He frowned at his reflection though, wondering if there was something he could do to it to make him appear older or more mature. Anything to stop him looked like a kid. He played about with it for a moment, though he succeeded in doing little more than making it a mess.

Glancing at the clock, he realized he really didn't have time to play about with his hair. He brushed it again quickly before he started to dress.

He scrutinized himself in the mirror when he was done. He still looked like a teenager who borrowed his dad's suit. He sighed it would have to do, otherwise he would be late. He walked out of the room quickly, walking towards Shuichi and sitting next to him lightly. The pin- haired teen looked at his friend, giving him the thumbs up. Suguru gave another sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his head.

"You look good too, Shuichi-san," he said truthfully.

The other teen looked great in his suit. It hugged his slender figure perfectly, not making him look overly feminine because of his small build. He looked good. Shuichi blushed slightly and gave a small smile of thanks. Looking at the clock again he realized that their 'dates' would be here soon.

Suguru blushed, hanging his head and staring at his lap while wringing his hands nervously. Shuichi patted his shoulder gently, managing to hide his own nervousness well. The older boy wasn't sure if he was quite ready to go to such a social event, but he knew Eiri would take care of him. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Everything would be ok, so he should stop worrying.

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Eiri gave himself one last critical glance in the mirror before he headed out the door. Some people were already on their way to the dance. He passed many students who were dressed up, looking their best…laughing and smiling, clearly excited. He walked along the corridor with an air of aloofness, glaring down at anyone who dared to look at him curiously. There was an advantage in being so tall. He smirked as he walked along and soon reached Suguru's door, pausing in front of it for a moment. For some reason he suddenly felt incredibly nervous.

He coughed, clearing his throat, somewhat angry with himself. He ran his fingers through his hair and tugged on the lapels of his jacket, pulling it into place. He knocked on the door smartly with his knuckles, his posture perfectly straight and smart.

OOOOO

The two boys had been sitting on the couch silently, both lost in their own little nervous worlds when the knock on the door snapped them out of their trance.

"I'll get it!" Suguru shouted, snapping up straight before jumping to his feet and running towards the door.

"Oh, Eiri-kun, it's you," he said, smiling. He had been half hoping that Hiro would show up first or at least be with Eiri when he came to pick him up.

At the mention of the blonde's name, the pink-haired teen straightened up in his seat and craned his neck to see the door.

"Come in," Suguru said, stepping aside to allow the blond to enter the room.

Eiri gave Suguru a small nod, before turning his attention to the boy on the couch, his eyes widening slightly. The young boy looked amazing. His suit hugged his figure just right, his hair framed his face and amethyst eyes, even his cheeks seemed to be turning a slight pink under his scrutinizing golden gaze, though it may have been the other's imagination.

"Shuichi, you look good," he said with a small smile, having the urge to pull the smaller boy into his arms and hug him tightly. He just looked so cute at that very moment.

At the blonde's words, the other boy's cheeks instantly bloomed pink, and this time Eiri was sure it wasn't his imagination.

"Are you ready to go?" the taller male asked, holding his hand out for the other boy to take.

Shuichi looked at the hand for a moment, before glancing up at the blonde's face and then towards Suguru, who was still standing near the door, his eyes occasionally looking towards it. The amethyst eyed boy bit his lip, looking down at his lap before shaking his head.

Eiri sighed, understanding what the other boy was doing.

"Well, it doesn't start for half an hour anyway. We can just miss the photo session," the blond said, taking a seat next to his date. The green-haired teen looked over at the two sitting on the couch, his expression showing surprise.

"You don't have to wait for me," he said anxiously. "You should both go. I'm sure Hiro will be here soon." He smiled reassuringly at the other two.

The pink-haired teen looked up at his friend, shaking his head vehemently. Eiri just gave a small huff, rolling his eyes.

"It's not like I want the hassle of being pulled and pushed around while that photographer tries to get a good photo," the blond said, looking away clearly not wanting to seem as if he cared.

The younger teen smiled gently, looking down at the ground. Despite his friends' reassurances he still felt bad for keeping them here, as if it were his fault somehow. He walked over to the others, taking the only seat left and looking down at his lap again. He wrung his hands together and biting his lip. His eyes would dart to the door occasionally, and then towards the two sitting next to him. Minutes passed in silence, with Eiri tapping his foot impatiently and Shuichi sending worried glances at the younger boy.

After a very long and tense twenty minutes had passed, Suguru got to his feet. He turned to face his two friends, resting his hands on his hip and glaring down sternly at the two males.

"You two should go now. Go on. I'll be there in a moment. I'm sure Hiro will be here soon, so don't worry about me, ok?" he said, smiling brightly.

Shuichi looked as if he were about to say no again, but Eiri got to his feet first, patting Suguru on the shoulder.

"Ok, we'll see you there," he said before turning to face his own date.

"Come on, Shuichi. Let's go save a good table," he said, holding his hand out once again.

The pink-haired teen reluctantly took it, allowing the other male to help him to his feet. He looked over at Suguru as they walked towards the door, though the green-haired teen's bright reassuring smile was still there. He gave a small not to his friend, before turning and following Eiri out the door.

Suguru watched his friends leave, the smile still firmly fixed in place. It even stayed there when the door closed with a small click. He remained standing there, smiling at the door until his smile wavered slightly. It was only a small twitch in the corner of his mouth, but it was all it took. His head fell, chin resting against his chest, and his smile vanished.

He stood there for a moment, feeling an overwhelming sadness fill him. He didn't even notice when cold tears started to slither slowly down his cheeks. He walked over to the couch, falling onto it and laying down, curling up as best he could.

'_Why didn't he show up? Does he hate me? Am I not good enough? Not even good enough as a friend…..'_

The young teen's tears continued to fall softly and he buried his face into the arms of the couch, closing his eyes tightly.

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As the pair walked down the corridor Shuichi couldn't help but to keep looking over his shoulder at the door they had just left, hoping to see Hiro rush towards it at any moment.

"Where do you think Hiro got to?" Eiri asked nonchalantly.

The pink-haired teen was mildly surprised at how well the blond was able to read him. He looked down at the floor and shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe we should go get him," the blond said in an off handed manner, looking over his own shoulder. "It's not far to his place or anything."

The other boy's head shot up, looking at the blond with wide eyes, as if he were asking "Really?" The blond nodded and smiled.

"Let's go find him then, though I hope Tatsuha isn't there," he added with a mutter, not wanting to deal with his brother right now.

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He had only fallen back onto the bed to be comfortable, had only closed his eyes for a few moments, hoping the migraine would go away quickly if he did that. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but he had just been so comfortable. He didn't even wake at the loud knock on the front door, nor when he heard the jumble of voices, one belonging to Tatsuha, the other to Eiri.

Footsteps approached the room quickly and the door swung open. A small and very angry teenager stormed up to his bed. His amethyst eyes narrowing as he saw his oldest friend laying on the bed, fast asleep. Snatching up one of the pillows quickly, Shuichi raised it above his head and began beating his friend with it, kicking the bed as he did so.

Hiro yelped at his rude awakening, raising his arms above his head defensively as he sat up quickly, looking around in alarm and wondering what the hell was going on. His eyes widened as he saw Shuichi raising the pillow again, even though he was awake his friend was still beating him with it.

"Shuichi, What's wrong??" he asked, trying to grab the pillow off his friend, though the pink-haired teen suddenly seemed very strong. Every time Hiro caught the pillow he would just tear it out of his grasp and hit him again.

"Suguru's waiting for you." A cool calm voice broke through the chaos, causing Shuichi to freeze, dropping the pillow to his side to glare at his friend.

Hiro looked over at the door, where the voice had come from. He spotted the blond standing there, leaning against the frame, Tatsuha hiding behind him and looking into the room curiously.

"Huh…but it's only……what time is it?" he asked, looking to the clock on his bed side table. His eyes widened when he saw the time.

"What? It's that late?! Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you wake me up?" the long-haired teen yelled as he jumped to his feet and began running around his room frantically, grabbing his things and throwing them on his bed.

The other three watched him for a moment before Eiri walked up to Shuichi, resting his hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, let's go," he said, steering the boy out of the room.

Hiro didn't even seem to notice his friend's departure. Tatsuha watched his roommate for a moment before he laughed, shaking his head, and left the other boy to get ready.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The buttons on his shirt were done up incorrectly. They were all wonky, and his tie hung loosely around his neck because he hadn't bothered to tie it. His jacket was slightly creased too, but he was dressed. Hiro ran down the corridor at an alarming pace, nearly running into several students who were also heading to the dance late. He didn't bother to stop and apologize to those he nearly ran over. He only had one goal right now, and he needed to get there as quickly as possible. He almost crashed into the door when he finally reached his destination, leaning against the door for a moment to catch his breath.

After a few deep breaths Hiro stood up straight, glancing at his watch quickly before knocking on the door. He waited for a moment, frowning when he didn't get an answer. He knocked again, his frown deepening, still no answer. He knew Suguru should still be here otherwise Shuichi wouldn't have been so mad at him.

He raised his hand, testing the door handle, and was surprised when the door swung forward. It was unlocked. He walked into the room cautiously, half afraid of what he would find. A small sigh escaped his lips though, as he smiled spotting Suguru curled up on the couch, asleep. It seemed he wasn't the only one liable to fall asleep. He walked over to the boy, about to shake his shoulder gently to wake him when he saw his face, trails of dried tears on his cheeks like pale scars.

'_I made him cry?'_

Hiro felt an odd twisting in his heart at this fact. That last thing he wanted to do was make the other boy cry, and knowing that he was the one who had caused Suguru's tears hurt.

'_I'm sorry,' _were his thoughts as he lowered his head to place a gently apologetic kiss on the boy's forehead. He wasn't really sure why he did it, he had just done it automatically. He gently ran his fingers through the boy's dark green hair.

"Suguru…Suguru, time to wake up," he called to the slumbering boy. The teenager gave a soft groan, rolling over away from the voice and the touch that tried to wake him. Hiro smiled fondly at the cute childlike behaviour.

"Suguru," he called louder. "You'll miss the dance if you continue to sleep."

The younger boy mumbled something incoherent and slowly opened his eyes. His big brown eyes stared up at Hiro in confusion.

"Hiro….?" he muttered.

"Sorry I'm late. I didn't mean to keep you waiting," Hiro said sincerely.

Suguru studied Hiro for a moment, taking in his untidy state. The other boy had clearly rushed to get here. His face was even slightly flushed as if he had been running.

"That's ok I was…"

"No it's not," Hiro snapped, glaring down at Suguru. "I made you wait. I was late when I told you I would be here at a certain time. It's not alright." He frowned before looking away, not sure where his outburst had come from. Suguru watched Hiro carefully for a moment before smiling softly.

"Thank you," he said, chuckling slightly as he sat up. "Your shirt is all messed up you know?" He had to resist the urge to laugh at Hiro's state of dress.

Hiro looked down at his chest for a moment before smiling sheepishly. "Oops," he said, grinning sheepishly before standing and undoing his shirt without hesitation, revealing most of his chest to the now blushing teen on the sofa.

Suguru had to look away quickly to save himself from getting redder.

"There, better?" he asked, once he had buttoned his shirt up neatly.

Suguru looked up at Hiro, his cheeks still slightly pink, and nodded quickly before standing and walking over to Hiro. He stopped right in front of him.

"Your tie," he said, raising his hand to take the fabric between his fingers.

Hiro remained still as the smaller teen ties his bow tie for him. They were standing awfully close now, face to face. If he just tilted his head down slightly and raised the boy's chin gently he would be able to kiss him. Hiro blinked slowly, and shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking like that about a friend.

"There." Suguru's words snapped Hiro out of his day dream and he smiled down at the boy, feeling slightly disappointed that he had taken a step back from him after he had finished.

"Come on, let's go," he said grinning, once they were ready. He held his hand out for Suguru to take, smiling kindly. Suguru smiled and took the hand offered to him, face flushing slightly when Hiro gave his smaller hand a little squeeze before turning and heading towards the door, dragging Suguru with him.

The younger teen smiled as he followed Hiro, focusing on how well his hand fitted with Hiro's and how warm and reassuring the other hand felt wrapped around his own. He looked up at the older boy and gave his brightest smile, his eyes were still slightly red from his earlier tears but neither commented on it.

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When Eiri and Shuichi reached the main hall they looked around them, both wondering if they had stumbled into the wrong room somehow. The room was bathed in a pale blue light. Delicate sparkling decorations were set out all along the room, across the walls and dangling off the ceiling. A net was trust up to the ceiling too, filled with blue and white balloons. Many tables were set out around the edge of the room, with plenty of space for a dance floor. The stage was at the front, the curtain down to hide whatever was on there. In the far corner there was a bar, which for now was closed.

Around the edge of almost every surface were what appeared to be icicles, though if anyone touched them they would realize they were plastic. The pale light made them glitter softly as if they were real.

The main door was framed by twisting, turning vines, small red berries nestled among them, and pale white, fake snow dusted on the leaves. Shuichi took in the surroundings with wide eyes. It was like a winter wonderland, decorated as elegantly as the castle of the snow queen.

"Eiri-san, Shuichi-san…you're here," called a cheerful voice.

The blond turned towards the source of the voice, spotting the girl walking towards them. She wore a long sparkling pale blue gown. It hung of her frame and sparkled as if to were made of ice and snow it self.

"Hikari-san," Eiri said, nodding in greeting at the girl ho had been in charge of organizing this whole thing.

She smiled at them, bowing as she got near. "I'm glad you're here, though you were almost late," she said, with false sternness in her voice. She turned her smile onto Shuichi.

"What do you think? Does it look good?" she asked, gesturing towards the room behind her. Both boys nodded, Shuichi's eyes wide in amazement.

"You did a god job," Eiri said, almost reluctantly. While the students he had been forced to work with to organize this dance had been annoying, he had to admit they had done a spectacular job.

Hikari smiled and giggled softly. "Thank you, Eiri-san, but you should take some credit too. You were a big help. Now now, it's time you both got a picture."

Let led them over to a small archway set of to the side, where a photographer stood, looking rather bored. Eiri was dragged under the archway reluctantly by a small smiling girl. Once he was stood there she encouraged Shuichi to step forward.

"Come on, you want a picture together don't you?" she asked kindly. Shuichi went to stand near the blond, his cheeks slightly pink though the pale lighting hid it well.

"Now this won't do. Eiri-san, you must wrap your arm around Shuichi-san," the girl said cheerfully, stopping the photographer from taking the photo.

Sighing, the blond wrapped his arm gently around Shuichi's shoulders, pulling him closer. The pink-haired teen shifted slightly into the embrace, his head almost resting against the others chest.

"Now smile!" the cheerful girl encouraged them. The photo was then quickly taken, and Hikari was dragged away by another girl, apparently there was a disturbance in the kitchen.

"Come on, let's go get a table," Eiri said, keeping his arm around Shuichi for a moment longer than necessary.

Shuichi nodded and followed the blond over to a table in the corner. They took their seat, sitting close to each other. There were two free chairs as well so there was plenty of room for the other two boys who should be here soon.

Eiri took the napkin in front of him, opening it and putting in onto his lap before picking up the menu. Shuichi did the same with his napkin though he didn't touch the menu. He sat at the table silently, fiddling with his napkin and glancing across the big hall at the main doors every few seconds.

"Relax, they'll be here soon," Eiri said, looking at the menu on the table.

Before the dance started there was the traditional fancy meal to get through. And this time there were a lot of Western dishes on the menu. Eiri looked over them, wondering what he should choose.

"What are you going to have to eat ,Shuichi?" the blond asked, changing the subject and hoping to take the other boy's mind off his worries.

Shuichi looked at the menu for a moment and pointed to a dish before returning his gaze towards the doors once more. Eiri sighed, feeling a little neglected and even a tiny bit jealous at the concern Shuichi had for Suguru.

Soon the people they had been waiting for strode through the door. Hiro was in the lead and was dragging a blushing Suguru with him. Shuichi raised his hand, waving them over to their table, which was in a corner, mostly away from the other tables.

Hiro grinned, raising his hand to wave at Shuichi, though the pink-haired boy lowered his hand instantly and glared at his friend. Hiro grinned sheepishly again, slowing down as he walked over to the other two.

"Still mad at me?" he asked.

Shuichi just pointed to the seat nearest Eiri, clearly not wanting his friend to sit next to him right now. The dark-haired teen sighed and nodded, taking the seat Shuichi had pointed at. Suguru sat down next, seeming slightly nervous as he looked between the two friends.

"Don't be mad at him, Shuichi," he said quietly to the angry boy.

Shuichi just stared at him for a moment before shrugging and giving him a small smile. Suguru couldn't help but laugh. Shuichi was only teasing his friend now. Suguru felt almost sorry for Hiro…almost.

Soon waiters and waitresses came over to each table, all smiles and cheer as they took the students' orders. Eiri ordered for himself and Shuichi, while Suguru and Hiro looked over the menu quickly, unable to decide what to pick. When the other two boys picked a meal that took their fancy, they all set their menus down on the table, falling into a relaxed conversation. Shuichi would occasionally throw glares at Hiro, but otherwise the atmosphere was peaceful.

Their meal arrived quickly, distracting them and seemingly making Shuichi forget about his anger towards Hiro. They ate mostly in silence, Eiri laughing softly when Shuichi got something on the corner of his mouth. Raising his napkin he wiped it away gently.

"You really are a messy eater," he said fondly, smiling at the other boy and causing Shuichi to stare at him curiously for a moment before glancing down at his plate quickly.

Shuichi returned to his meal and ate slowly. The other two males who sat at the table suddenly felt rather embarrassed and uncomfortable, as if they had just witnessed something private. Though Hiro couldn't help but smile at Shuichi's reaction. Seeing his friend happy…it something he hadn't seen in so long.

'_University really was good for him. He's healing,' _he thought to himself as he chewed at his food thoughtfully.

Suguru watched the exchange almost jealously. It wasn't that that he wanted Shuichi or Eiri for him own. He just wished that he could have someone treat him so fondly. Well, not just someone.

He looked at Hiro out of the corner of his eye for a moment, studying him carefully, though he looked away quickly when Hiro seemed to notice someone's eyes on him and looked around quickly. Luckily for the smaller teen, the long-haired boy didn't notice it was him.

"Does anyone know what band they got to play yet?" Hiro asked, looking directly at Eiri as he said this, half smirking.

Eiri's expression didn't change. "No idea," he said evenly. He was clearly an expert liar.

Shuichi looked up at the two curiously. He too was itching to know who was going to be playing at their dance. He looked down at his food again grumpily when Eiri had no satisfying answer.

The meal passed quickly and the dessert that followed went just as quickly, if not more so. Soon everyone was on their feet, some moving towards the dance floor to dance to the music that was drifting out of the speakers. Others headed towards the bar to grab a drink. Teachers and students mingled together as they all talked cheerfully.

From behind the curtain on the stage sounds and movement could be heard. The band was clearly setting up and about to begin. A girl walked up to the stage slowly, wearing a long pale ball gown that fitted her perfectly, showing off each and every curve, boosting her smaller ones. She walked over to the microphone that stood in the middle of the stage.

"Anou…..minna-san," she called politely.

The chattered was soon silenced as everyone looked towards the stage curiously. The girl smiled once she had everyone attention. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you everyone for coming today," Hikari said, giving a small bow. "I hope everyone enjoyed their meal, and now it's almost time for our guests to start their concert." A small secretive smile flitted across her face as the whispers grew like buzzing bees at the mention of the band. No one knew who was playing and everyone was curious and excited because of the secrecy.

"I know everyone has been very curious as to the 'famous band' we got to play here at our humble dance, however I can now tell everyone with great pride that the one, the only, the most famous band in Japan!..." she trailed off clearly having fun making her audience so tense and curious.

"Everyone, please give a big welcome to Nittle Grasper!!" she shouted the band's name as the curtain raised. She grinned and then dashed off the stage as Ryuichi approached the microphone, a soft melody starting behind him.

"Thank you everyone for your warm welcome," the singer called over the huge roar of applause.

The four boys who had still been sitting at their table watched the stage carefully. Shuichi had jumped to his feet and was staring at the people on stage with huge disbelieving eyes. The blond watched the younger boy's reaction with a soft smile. Suguru and Hiro were grinning from ear to ear too. It was worth hiding who was playing at the dance for so long from Shuichi, just to see the reaction from the quiet boy. The pink-haired boy was currently bouncing on the balls of his feet. He turned to face the other three, casting them an accusing glance.

'You knew?!' All three shrugged and giggled or just smiled, though they all looked apologetic.

"This first song is going to be dedicated to someone special," Ryuichi said, eagerness lacing his voice, he clearly wanted to sing.

"This song is for Shuichi-chan!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, "I hope you're taking good care of Kumaguro for me Shu-chan!" he yelled, before glancing across the room, finally spotting the boy he was talking about. He grinned and gave him the thumbs up.

"Eiri-san really cares for you, you know," he said seriously, broadcasting this information to the entire room, causing Eiri to blush to the roots of his hair and hiding his face in his arms which he rested on the table.

"I'm going to kill him," he muttered.

The song soon started yet Eiri refused to look up. It wasn't until he felt a small gentle hand resting on his shoulder, he looked up, realizing that Suguru and Hiro had vanished and that Shuichi was now looking down at him with pleading eyes, hand held out for him to take.

'Dance with me?'

Eiri smiled and nodded, standing and taking the boys hand before leading him to the dance floor. It took him a moment to realize the first song Ryuichi had chosen to sing was a slow song, which would force them to dance close together.

They walked to a free space on the dance floor, stopping when they got there. Eiri wrapped one arm loosely around the boy's small waist, keeping a hold of his hand. He held the other close, though loosely. Shuichi didn't seem happy with this though, and took a step closer, resting his head against Eiri's shoulder.

The blond looked down at Shuichi. His eyes were wide in surprise, though Shuichi was currently too embarrassed to look up at his date. Instead he focused on the nice smell that clung to Eiri's clothes. It was a nice smell that Shuichi had now started to associate with the blond. Just the smell could comfort him now, bringing him thoughts of his precious friend who had helped him so much in such a short time.

He closed his eyes as Eiri's arm was forced to tighten around him because of their close proximity. His own arm that, until now, he had held at his side moved to wrap around the blonds neck. They began to sway slowly too the music, both absorbed in each other and unaware of anyone else around them. They would dance like this, held close in each other arms for a long time.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"Damn they're acting too cute. It's enough to make you feel ill," Hiro grumbled from his seat at the bar.

Suguru stood next to him, laughing softly at the others comment. "It's nice to see them so happy, though," he said sincerely, smiling as he watched the two men dance slowly with each other. He took a sip of his own drink.

Hiro gulped his down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Well don't you want to dance too?" he asked, turning to face Suguru.

The green-haired teen looked up at the other male standing over him, smiling down at him. He stared at Hiro for a moment, as if he hadn't heard him. He took another sip of his drink before putting it down on the counted and standing too.

"Sure," he said, walking towards the dance floor, Hiro following him.

The redhead smiled as he watched Suguru's back, noticing for the first time how small his shoulders looked. He looked almost fragile. Hiro took a few swift steps closer, so he was now standing next to Suguru. He took the boys smaller hand in his own, pulling him towards him.

Suguru stumbled slightly as he was suddenly pulled towards the taller male, falling against his chest as he lost his balance. He looked up at the other boy, a faint blush staining his cheeks. Hiro smiled at the other boy, as he held him gently and started moving to beat of the music.

Suguru found himself once again standing close to Hiro, unable to look up him again because of his embarrassment. His eyes were half closed, brown orbs hidden by dark lashes. Hiro looked down at the boy in his arms, wrapping an arm around his small waist and pulling him closer, causing that adorable blush to spread.

Suguru was actually rather small, Hiro noted. Smaller than Shuichi even, though he had never noticed this fact before. Shuichi had always seemed so small and fragile, scared and alone, while Suguru had always seemed strong and independent.

The two couples danced together, weaving around everyone else around them. Eiri and Shuichi continued to dance together. The pink-haired boy was actually smiling softly, a small faint smile but it was there nonetheless. The two young men didn't leave each other's sides throughout the whole night.

Hiro and Suguru danced to a few songs in a row before the green-haired teen insisted he needed a drink, his face still red. Hiro followed the teen, an amused smirk on his face. Who knew the other boy could be so much fun to take on a 'date'? The two teens walked over to the bar again, Hiro went to get the drinks while Suguru went to sit at one of the nearby tables.

The green-haired teen sat at the table alone while Hiro was at the bar. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his beating heart and tame the blush that had started to spread down his neck. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to imagine a nice calm lake, or a sunny beach. Anything that was unrelated to the red-haired teen he had been dancing with. This was a lot harder than he thought. He had imagined he could just come here, enjoy the dance and just act like friends. Even though he had promised himself he would tell Hiro his feelings he had still wanted the night to be normal before that, but now he was turning into a blushing idiot just from a little dancing.

The boy's eye snapped open when he heard the soft clanking sound of a glass being put onto the table in front of him. He looked up again at Hiro as the older teen took a seat next to him.

"Thank you," Suguru said, wrapping his hands around the drink, though he made no move to take a sip. Instead, he simply stared down at the drink.

Hiro watched the teen from the corner of his eye, taking a gulp of beer from the bottle. "Are you ok, Suguru? You've been awfully quiet today," he stated, setting the bottle down. "You're not mad at me are you? I really am sorry, you know?"

Suguru head shot up, looking at Hiro and shaking his head so quickly he was liable to give himself a headache. "I'm not mad at you. It's nothing really… I'm just…I.." Suguru stuttered as he searched for a reasonable excuse for his silence without having to tell the other boy the truth. His though process stopped though when he felt a warm hand gently pressing against his forehead. He looked at Hiro, a little dumbfounded, the blush slowly returning.

"You don't have a fever," Hiro said, his eyes still alight with concern.

"I'm fine, really," Suguru stuttered, smiling at the others concern.

Hiro watched the other boy uncertainly for a moment before smiling and nodding. "Well, if you're sure," Hiro said, sitting back in his seat and taking another sip from the bottle.

To distract himself Suguru took a sip of his own drink, looking down into the depths of the glass.

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Soon many hours had passed. The party was in full swing and showed no sign of ending. By now Nittle Grasper had been given a break, music poured out of the speaker while the members of the band danced among the students. Ryuichi, of course, was clinging to Tatsuha. The younger boy clung to his lover tightly as well and glared at anyone who tired to take the singer away from him, while Tohma and Noriko were getting snowed under by the requests of a dance with the other students and even some of the teachers.

After many hours of dancing and only because their feet were starting to ache Eiri and Shuichi decided to sit down for a well deserved rest. Shuichi smiled at Eiri gratefully when they say down, moving his chair closer to the blond so he could rest his head against his shoulder. He was exhausted, although he had enjoyed the night immensely. Eiri smiled at the boy's behaviour, keeping his arm around the other boys shoulders. He had been holding the boy all night so letting him go now just seemed pointless.

"Are you having fun ,Shuichi?" he asked softly, noticing that the boys eyes were starting to drop slightly. He was clearly tired.

Shuichi didn't move from his comfortable position leaning against Eiri, though he gave a small nod, smiling still and glancing up at the blond as if to say thank you. The two boys sat silently, studying the people around the room. Many of the students were still dancing, some drunk and struggling to stay upright, while others dance wildly, laughing and joking with their friends. Couples sat in secluded corners, wrapped in each other's arms and totally absorbed in each other. Overall, the atmosphere was nice. The dance had clearly been a huge successes.

Shuichi sighed softly. He was currently lost in his thoughts. Tonight had been one of the best of his life, and Eiri being there just made it even more special. He had even been able to dance with Ryuichi once, much to the annoyance of the two brothers Eiri and Tetsuya, though it was less of a dance and more of being dragged around the dance floor by a hyperactive star. Shuichi smiled softly at the memory, not sure what he had enjoyed more, dancing with Ryuichi or seeing the blonde's reaction. Both had been fun.

Now though Shuichi was debating with himself something he had been thinking about for the past few days. Something he knew would come out into the open soon. He knew he would have to tell the blond soon. He wanted to tell Eiri everything about his past, what had happened before he found out somehow, or someone else told him. If he told the blond himself maybe Eiri would be less likely to hate him, at least Shuichi hoped this would be true.

Closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath, as if trying to draw some strength out of the air and bring it into his body, Shuichi stood, looking over his shoulder at the blond as he did so.

"Ready to go back?" Eiri asked, almost disappointed, though he wouldn't try to make the pink-haired teenager stay if he really didn't want to.

Shuichi nodded, waiting for Eiri to stand to before he made his way toward the doors. Eiri followed close behind.

'_Tonight….I'm going to tell him tonight.'_

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Hiro and Suguru hardly saw their other two friends for the rest of the night. They mainly sat drinking at the bar, dancing occasionally when the mood struck them. Suguru was sticking mainly to juice though, which made Hiro smile at the boy's childlike behaviour. Hiro himself had drunk nothing but beer. He had lost count after drinking five and didn't have a clue how any he had drank by now.

Both boys had even danced with a few other people that night, though Suguru had had a few more requests for a dance than Hiro, a fact which made the redhead rather annoyed. Whether it was because he wanted the teen to himself or he just felt a little jealous he didn't know, though the dancing with anyone else had stopped after Hiro had caught one of the fourth year students who had asked Suguru for a dance trying to grope the poor boy during a slower song. Hiro has stormed over there, dragging the confused, naïve boy away from the perverted student. Hiro had glared at anyone else who dared come near them for the rest of the night.

Suguru at first found Hiro's protectiveness over him quite nice and comforting, but now it was just annoying. In the teen's mind it only proved further that Hiro would only ever see him as a close friend, a brother and nothing more. Suguru sighed as Hiro growled at a small petite girl who started walking over to their table. The poor girl's eye widened to the size of saucers and she quickly turned on her heel and ran away from the scary man as fast as her little feet would carry her.

"Let's go outside for a bit. I need some fresh air," Suguru said, standing quickly and knowing the red head would follow him.

As predicted Hiro stood too, standing close to Suguru as they walked over to the huge bay windows that led outside to a huge balcony that was decorated in a similar style to the room they had been dancing in. A flight of stone steps lead down to the grounds on each side. As they approached the doors, Suguru paused.

"Go wait for me there. I need to go to the bathroom, ok?" he said, dashing off before Hiro had a chance to reply.

Hiro watched the boy go. He would be unable to run even if he wanted to. Sighing, he shrugged and went to stand outside, falling into one of the chairs set out for people to sit in. He sighed, running his fingers through his long red locks. He was starting to get a headache now. Perhaps he had had enough to drink for the tonight. He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing the cool night air to wash over him. It was relaxing in a way and helped to clear his head.

"Nice night, hmmm?" a slurred voice called to him.

Hiro opened his eyes slowly to see K sensei, his English teacher, standing over him. The blonde's eye didn't seem completely focused. His hair was a mess and he was wobbling slightly where he stood he was, clearly just as drunk, if not more so, than Hiro. The dark-haired teen stared at his sensei for a moment, surprised to see him there. He had been avoiding the teacher as best he could for a while now. His feelings were still rather confused and looking at him now didn't solve his dilemma.

"Yeah…it is. It's been fun," Hiro said nonchalantly, trying to act as cool as possible.

Taking a few steps forward, K took the seat next to the other boy, looking out at the grounds of the school as he sat next to him. "How have you been lately, Hiro? I think you've been avoiding me," the teacher said, am amused lopsided smirk on his lips as he turned to face the flustered teen.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hiro muttered, looking away, which only made the older man laugh at the long-haired boy's behaviour.

"You came with the little green-haired kid, right?" K asked. "He's kinda cute," he added with a lecherous smirk.

Hiro merely glared at him, eyes narrowing. "Relax I'm not going to steal him from you," the blond said, holding his hand up in defence. "You guys make a cute couple."

"We're not a couple," Hiro snapped, standing quickly. "He's nothing, just a friend." He almost snarled the last words, though his voice wavered slightly as if unsure. His fists tightened at his side and he turned around quickly.

"Just please leave me alone sensei," he said shortly, still refusing to face the other man.

The long-haired blond sighed, getting onto his unsteady feet slowly and swaying a little as if he were standing on a boat. "I forget, you're still such a kid," he said softly, though his tone held a hint of venom and anger. "Don't chase everyone away, Hiro."

K turned around and headed back towards the door, his eyes widening slightly when he saw the green-haired teen standing there. His eyes were wide and shimmering. He clearly heard what Hiro had said. He patted the boys shoulder as he passed him, looking down at him with kind eyes.

"Sorry, kid," he said as he left, leaving the two boys alone.

Suguru walked towards Hiro slowly, his light footsteps making hardly a sound as he drew closer.

"Hiro," he said, his voice surprisingly calm. T

The older teen turned around at the sound of the other boy's voice, surprise painting his features when he saw the tears hiding just behind those eyes. Why did Suguru suddenly look so upset? What had happened?

"You still love him?" It was more of a statement than a question. Suguru's voice cracked slightly as he spoke, though he continued to fight any tears or sobs that threatened to break him.

Hiro looked suddenly scared for a moment. Suguru had heard what he said. He'd known his words had been cruel as soon as he said them, but he had only said them in the heat of anger. He had never imagined Suguru would here them too.

"I….." Hiro began, but was cut off as Suguru spoke again.

"He's right. You are still a child," the boy said angrily, his tearfully eyes narrowing. "Like a child who wants something he can't have, you stubbornly stare and focus on what you want. Refusing to take your eyes from it, you blindly ignore the good things in front of you, the things you already have." A small sob shook the boy's tiny frame. He bit his lip and closed his eyes for a moment. He now looked even smaller than he had before, drained of his internal strength that held him up. He now truly looked like someone who didn't belong at the university just yet, and Hiro had done all that with just a few careless words.

"Suguru I…"

"NO!" the boy snapped, his head shooting up, revealing a few tears sliding down his cheeks stealthily. "I've had enough of it, Hiro. I've had enough of being there for you, trying to help you and make you feel better. I've had enough of these feelings……these feelings for you." His voice began wobbling again and went quieter. "I've had enough of loving you. I don't want these feelings any more. After all, I'm nothing to you am I…there's my answer then." The boy's shoulders shook again as further sobs attacked him.

"I hate you, Hiro," he whispered, before turning on his heel and running down the stone steps, not once did he look back or slow down.

Hiro could do nothing but stare after the boy's swiftly retreating figure, surprise wrapping its icy tendrils around him and freezing him in place.

'_He….loves me?' _Were the only thoughts capable of running through the teens head. _'And I….I did that to him.'_

Hiro felt an unbearable pain well in his chest. It was worse than when K had rejected him. A thousand times worse.

"Suguru…." He said softly, before he finally managed to make his legs obey him. He took off after the boy.

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The halls were so quiet now it was like walking through a ghost town. Every single student in the school was still at the dance, it seemed. Shuichi and Eiri walked through these deserted corridors, side by side in a comfortable silence. They got back to their shared room quickly, Eiri opening the door for them, allowing Shuichi to go in first before he walked in and locked the door behind him.

The pink-haired boy walked over to the couch, curling up onto it. Eiri sat next to him, smiling at the boy, though Shuichi soon moved quickly so he was resting against the blonde's chest, wrapping his arms tightly around the older male's waist. Eiri wrapped his own strong arms around the smaller form without hesitation, holding him securely.

Silence hung in the room for a moment, before Shuichi started making small sounds. At first Eiri though the boy had just been sighing, but as he listen closely he could hear strange small sounds coming from the boys throat, as if he were trying to speak. Holding his breath in anticipation Eiri remained silent, watching the boy intently.

"A..a..arigatou," the pink haired boy finally managed to say. His voice was slightly croaky as if he had just recovered from a cold but the word was clear.

The blond smiled, pulling the pink haired teen closer. "You're welcome, Shuichi," he said softly, sincerely.

Shuichi raised his head so he could look up into the blonde's gentle golden eyes, before lowering his gaze again.

"I…I need to tell you something….about….my past.." he managed to say, with a little difficulty. His voice was still rather weak from years of silence, but that wouldn't stop him. He would tell Eiri everything.

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Suguru ran until his tears had dried. He ran until his lungs and legs burned and he could run no more. He stopped, taking great big breaths, trying to draw much needed air into his lungs. His eyes felt warm and sore and he was sure they were redder than Hiro's hair by now.

"Damn…" he muttered, even now he couldn't help but think about the red-haired teenager. Despite his words, despite telling him he hated him, he had lied. He could never hate him, would never hate him. It was impossible.

The small teen leant heavily against the wall, sliding down to the ground as more sobs shook his frame. He didn't see the tall figure walk slowly towards him, nor did he notice when the man stopped and knelt down in front of him.

"Suguru," an unfamiliar voice called to him. His brown eyes widened. It couldn't be who he thought it was. It was impossible.

"You…" he began, but didn't have a chance to finish as he felt something being jabbed swiftly into his arm.

The boy's body tensed suddenly for a moment, sitting bolt upright. His head fell forward without warning, eyes closed and body limp.

The man swiftly wrapped his arms around the small boy, catching him before he hit the ground.

"Suguru, it's time to come home. Your mother misses you," he said softly, brushing a stand of dark green hair from the boys face. "We will be a family once more. Isn't that great?" He smiled as he stood, gathering the boys form into his arms and carrying him easily. He was surprisingly light.

"Suguru, are you eating properly?" the man chided the unconscious boy. "Not to worry. Your mom will feed you up as soon as we get home," he said as he walked off, a small syringe laying on the ground where he had dropped it. Aflower that had been in the lapel on Suguru jacket fell next to it when the man had picked him up.

"Time to go home."

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Bwhhhahahaha the end of chapter 17 I hope everyone liked it and I hope no one want to kill me now….hehe……. oOo looks around nervously oOo

Hopefully chapter 18 will be out a lot faster than this one, I'll try not to make you wait to so long this time. Wish me luck though, school and exams might get in the way. Anyway, please leave your reviews and tell me what you think. Even if you review just to yell at me I dont mind. I probably deserve it n.n;

**Edit 23/03: Chapter 18 update: I have already started writting chapter 18 and I pretty much have it all planed out, all I need to do is write the damn thing. I have Easter breake soon too, 2 whole weeks off school, while I do have a tone of homework to do I will also have more time to write, so chapter 18 should be out in the next two weeks sometime. So hopefully you wont have long to wait. Meanwhile, please leave me all your lovely comments n.n they really encourage and empower me to write more. xD**


	20. Good Night Chapter 18

**IMPORTANT READ READ READ!!! **

**READ!!!**

Ok here it is, at long last chapter 18 n.n I hope you guys enjoy it! 32 pages here people!!! 32!!! Do you have any idea how long it took to write this?? Oo forever!! I sware im gonig to get arthrits in my fingers or something by the end of this from typing so much lol xD.

**IMPORTANT!**

This is the UNBETAD version of chapter 18, it was only finished last night so my awsome beta has not had a chance to correct it yet. **This means there will be mistakes!** Deal with them! I'm only putting the chapter up like this because I've kept you guys waiting long enough.

A BETAD version will replaces this chapter as soon as its done.

This chapter has been spel checked so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. Still, there will be some mistakes and i hope you can bare with them for now untill a better version is up.

I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. You guys are totaly awsome!! I can't believe people are still reading this considering how slow I am at updating. I will not however, ever stop writting this fict. The story will be completed one day. I promise. So for now, enjoy chapter 18.

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The blonds' breath caught in his throat as he heard the words the small pink haired boy in his arms said, his past, those dark haunting nightmares that had stolen his voice. He was about to find out everything and he felt…..scared. Wondering what it was that had scared the boy so badly. He was afraid of what he would find out, of what the other had suffered. But he wouldn't run away from him now. Not when the other needed him most.

He smiled at the other boy, petting his head gently, allowing his fingers to run through the soft strands of cotton candy hair.

"Let me get you a glass of water first." He said a small smile don his face, the boys raspy voice was the most adorable thing he'd heard, the blond decided at that moment, but Shuichi was sure to get a sore throat soon if he didn't have something cool to drink.

As gently as he could Eiri stood, untangling their limbs and heading towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. Violet eyes trained on him constantly. As soon as the older male returned the pink haired boy latched onto him again, as if afraid he might run away.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said softly, handing the other male the glass, "I promise."

Shuichi smiled gratefully, sipping at the water while remaining snugly wrapped in the blonds arms. A few moments passed in silence. Neither moving or saying a word. Eiri not wanting to rush the other boy, and fear sealing the smaller ones lips.

Once the glass was empty it was set down on the coffee table with a soft clunk, and this sound breaking the silence seemed to be the sign to begin. The pink haired boy took a deep breath, and spoke again.

"I guess, I should start at the beginning….when my dad died…." He said softly, biting his lower lip. Eiri only hugged the boy tighter, drawing him closer, arms wrapped around him protectively.

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_A sombre atmosphere filled the room like a suffocating cloud, choking the voice from everyone. The whole roomful of people stood in silence, only the odd few whispers could be heard, floating around the room like the annoying buzz of a fly._

_The area was an entire absence of colour, only black could be seen, black clothes, dark faces and cold auras. There was not a spec of light or joy to be found, not a smile or a laugh._

_Two children stood in the middle of this sea, lost and adrift without anything to help them except each other. The small girl, a toddler held onto the slightly older boys hand tightly, hiding behind his small form as best she could. She looked around the room with big confused eyes._

_Who were all these people, the small child hadn't ever seen most of them before and now they were all in her families house, filling the room with a dark sombre atmosphere. Why were they here?_

_She looked up at the boy with questioning eyes only to find a similar look on his face. Old enough to understand what was going on yet not quite able to comprehend the full impact of it._

_His father was asleep. It was the only way the child could think of it. He was so deeply asleep that it was impossible to wake up even if he had wanted too. It was a concept he could not quite understand, sleep was good for you, not scary. It didn't steal you away from the people who needed you._

_A car. Hit and run. No chance. These words didn't make sense to the boy. His father had gone to work one morning, deciding to walk as the day was so beautiful and had never returned. When he'd gotten back from school the house had been dark and quiet, suddenly looking as if no one lived there._

_Their father, the beloved sun of their family, the man who could bring a smile to even the glummest of faces would not be coming back. He would never again walk through the door after a long days work and say 'tadaima', never again lift his children up into the air, making them believe they could fly, never again read them bed time stories. Their house would forever remain dark and empty in the child eyes. _

_The girl tugged on the boys shirt, her eyes pleading now._

"_Where's chichi?" she asked her voice quiet and wavering, tears hiding behind it._

"_He won't come back," the boy said quietly, suddenly finding his shoes very interesting. They were black and shiny, he could almost see his face in them if he squinted his eyes and turned his head to the left a bit. _

"_Nii-chan don't tell lies. It bad," the girl said, frowning angrily, the tears suddenly blooming in her eye threatening to fall at any minute._

_He could here the faint whispers around him. The pitiful glance shot their way by adults he didn't know. Though none came near the children nor tried to comfort them. Their voices buzzed in his ear and he held his sisters hand tightly. _

_His eyes scanned the room, spotting his mother kneeling on the floor, her glassy expressionless eyes fixed on that looked like a small cupboard, with candles and incense burning around it. The smoke from the scented sticks rose and circled around the woman creating an unearthial image, as if she wasn't really there._

_The woman hadn't moved from that spot. She remained sitting there. Eye fixed onto the image held in the photo frame. Occasionally she would move, raising her hand in silent prayer. These few prayers would last for seconds and sometimes minutes. Tears usually coursed down her pale cheeks afterwards and then she would returning to staring at the small shrine in front of her. _

_The children weren't used to seeing their mother like this. So sad and so separated from them. She didn't even seem to notice her children, standing alone in the corner, let alone the crowd of people around her. _

"_Nii-chan, chichi will be home soon, right?" she said again, stubbornly because surely her brother was lieing. Their father needed to get home soon. He would chase all these strange people out of their house he would walk over tot heir mother, kiss her on the cheek and she would be all smiles again. Everything would be ok as soon as their father came home in the girl's eyes. _

"_I told you, he can't come home. Never again, we wont see him again." The young boy said, focusing intently on his shoes and trying not to let the tears he had been holding back all day fall. _

_The girl tore her hand from her brothers firm grasp, looking up at him with hurt eyes. _

"_Stop lieing, you be in big trouble when chichi finds out!" she yelled angrily at the boy. Her brother only kept his eyes focused on his shoes as the little girl ran over to her mother's side. _

_The woman welcomed the sobbing child to her embrace, hugging her daughter tightly though her eyes remained fixed on the shrine. She hardly seemed to notice the sobbing bundle in her arms, her hand absent mindedly petting the girls hair as if trying to comfort her. _

_The boy remained in the corner, alone. Drowning in the sea of black, staring at his shoes the whole time. _

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Silence filled the room again. Eiri knew this wasn't the only thing that had happened to steal the other boy's voice. Though loosing a parent at such a young age would be traumatic he knew it wasn't the only source of the boys nightmares.

He rubbed small soothing circles on Shuichi's back, relaxing him. He could feel the way the boy was tensing in his arms as he'd told the story, reliving memories he'd rather forget.

"It's ok to cry, if you want to," the blond said softly. He heard the smaller boy sniff, and felt him bury his face his chest though he did not cry right away.

"I miss him so much." The small voice said, muffled by the blonde's shirt. Eiri said nothing and continued to rub small circles on the others back.

"I miss him…..but…..I feel so mad at him…for leaving. I hate him….for dieing," he said his voice wavering now, sniffling between each word.

"I love him….but I hate him for leaving…..I feel….so….selfish," the boy said his voice growing quieter.

"It's ok," the older male said, "you were only a child, its understandable. It's ok." He repeated again. He could feel the boys shoulders shaking slightly, feeling a few tears fall on his chest, soking into his shirt. He didn't care though, and only held the boy tightly as he cried.

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The first thing the small green haired teen noticed when he finally regained consciousness was the smell of mould and dust. It tickled at his nose making him want to sneeze. The second thing that registered in his foggy brain was just how heavy his body felt. His eye lids were like lead and he hadn't even opened them yet. His whole body felt as if a tone of bricks lay on top of it. He couldn't even move his fingers let alone try to sit up, for he realised he was laying down, on a very stiff uncomfortable bed. He groaned softly and instead tried to focus on opening his eyes.

His eyelid fluttered open slowly, the light hitting them causing him to squeeze them shut again. The light hurt his eyes and made his head hurt even more. He tried again, slowly opening his eyes until he was finally able to open them and keep them open, the light no longer stinging his eyes, his sight remained blurry though, as if he had opened his eyes under water and his body still felt heavy, his head foggy and tired, he just wanted to sleep even though he'd only just woken up.

The young boy managed to turn his head slightly, surveying the room around him. It looked somehow familiar, though he couldn't quite place his finger on it. The peeling wallpaper and mould on the walls didn't help his memory. Even if the room had been neat though he was sure he wouldn't be able to remember. His head hurt too much, he couldn't even focus on one train of thought for too long before his head began to pound again.

He gave up on trying to think, trying to move, trying to do anything. Instead he closed his eyes gently, a small sigh escaping his lips.

"Where am I…." he said to himself softly, as if voicing the question might give him the answer. He groaned again, wishing he could move, curl up and hide under the blankets.

He searched his memory, trying to remember what had happened, how he'd gotten here.

He'd been running, crying. Wanting to get away form someone, Hiro? The green haired teen closed his eyes tightly. He remembered shouting at the other male. He'd made a fool of himself. But what had happened after? He'd stopped, and then someone had found him. But who?

Suguru searched his memory but found no clues, thinking still made his head hurt too so he lay still. Waiting for his body to catch up and wake up too. He closed his eyes again, they still felt heavy and it was hard to keep them open.

"Your awake, I'm glad." Said a voice from the doorway. The teens eyes snapped open quickly as he tried to turn his head to face the source of the voice. He winced slightly at the effort it caused just to turn his head. He looked at the stranger through bleary eyes that still seemed to stubbornly refuse to focus on anything. The man who loomed in the door way looked familiar, just like the room.

"Who…?" the boy asked tentatively, fear piercing his heart, slowly infecting his veins. Who was this man and why had he bought him here. The boy wanted to scream, to shout and run and fight if he was stopped.

The man didn't answer his question as he strode into the room, raising an eye brow.

"Now Suguru-chan, I know I haven't seen you for a while but have I really changed that much?" the man's face loomed into his view, hovering above him with a questioning expression. The boy's eyes widened. There were more lines and bags under the mans eyes but he knew that face. If his body hadn't been so uncooperative he would have been trembling by now.

"Fa…..father…" he said, swallowing hard, trying to move away from the other man. The man only smiled, moving away to sit in the chair that had been placed at the side of the bed.

"Ah you remember, I'm glad." He said softly, his strange empty eye fixed on the boy on the bed. Those eyes that had once been full of love, full of hate, full of anger now seemed dead. His smile looked alien on his face as it did not quite reach his eye.

Something was wrong, horrible wrong. Suguru knew something was wrong. This man before him wasn't the same as the angry hate filled man he remembered, nor was he the kind loving father he had once been long ago.

This person was completely different and terrifying.

"Where am I?" he asked softly, eyes darting around the room.

"You're home silly," he man said, rolling his eyes as if this were obvious, "this is your old room remember, hasn't changed much has it?" he said looking around the dingy room, as if he couldn't see the wallpaper peeling off the walls and the mould growing in the corners.

Suguru shuddered a sickening feeling settling into the pit of his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to go back to the dance now, he'd rather face Hiro than be here. The man stood and Suguru only grew more nervous, wondering what he would do next. Images flashed through the boys mind, a woman blocking the stairway with her body, her shouts, her screams, her blood. He shut his eyes tightly. No, he didn't want to see that. He only wanted to remember her as the smiling loving mother he knew.

The man paced around the room, occasionally he would pick something up, study it for a few moments before dropping it on the floor.

"We really should get this room redecorated for you, you're a big boy now after all," he said, turning to face the boy, smiling at him, a crooked smile.

"Just let me go," the boy muttered, fighting with his body, trying to get it to sit up, to obay him, "I want to go home." He said, thinking of his little apartment at the university, his friends there, even the teacher and the classes.

"But you are home." The man said, regarding the boy curiously. He walked over to the bed and unreadable expression on his face.

"What have those bastards told you? Honestly, taking you away from your family was bad enough." The man said, eyes staring off to the side, not really seeing the room anymore. His hand's tightened to fists at his side, trembling slightly. Suguru gulped nervously, trying to move closer to the wall.

"But don't worry," the man said suddenly, the anger vanishing instantly from his stance to be replaced by that crooked smile again, "Your home now. Your mom will be so glad to see you."

At these words the boys eyes widened further. It couldn't be. This man, he couldn't possibly believe…….he was insane. Suguru trembled slightly, a whimper escaping his lips. He hated the feeling of powerlessness he had, not being able to move without great effort. But most of all he hated the man who hovered above him.

"You bastard," he said quietly, eyes filling with angry tears, "You….you….YOU KILLED HER!! She's dead, don't lie!!" he yelled angrily, longing to reach out and hit the other male, kick and punch any part of him he could reach.

The mans eyes widened, flaming with anger. He took a few storming steps closer to the bed, raising his hand and slapping Suguru across the face. The sound echoed painfully in the room, the boys on the bed biting his lip to keep himself from crying out.

"Don't ever say that," the man said, his voice shaky yet quiet, deadly.

"Don't ever say that. What would she say if she heard you say that?" he asked, his eyes widening to an impossible size, that cruel crooked smile returning to his face.

"You can stay here for now, sleep. You must sleep." He said, walking out of the room without looking back once, still muttering under his breath. He shut the door behind him, the resounding click of the door shutting weighing heavily on the boys ears.

He only let out a small gasp on pain at that moment, letting tears of anger and pain mix together and flow down his cheeks.

"Someone….please help me," he whispered to the empty room.

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Suguru wasn't back at his dorm, nor was he in the library. He wasn't anywhere in the huge grounds nor was he back at the dance and no one he'd asked had seen him. Hiro was at a loss. He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, eyes scanning the area as if he might suddenly find the boy he was looking for if he just stared from long enough in one area.

"Where are you?" he said softly, he was slowly growing more and more worried by the second. The longer that the other teen was out of his sight the more worried he got. He knew something was wrong. Sure Suguru had gotten a good head start but he shouldn't have been able to just vanish like that without a trace. There had to be something, a clue he was missing pointing him to the others whereabouts.

Hiro bit his lip as he remembered the pain he had seen in the boys eyes, the words he had shouted at him.

It was all his fault, and if anything happened to the boy that would be his fault to. He was so stupid, a fool. Why hadn't he seen it before? All those little sign's, everything had been staring him in the face, and yet he had been too busy with his infatuation with someone he couldn't have, would never have.

"I'm sorry," he said again as he walked back to the dance deciding his next best bet was to ask Tohma for help, maybe he'd know where the teen would go when he was upset, he was his cousin so maybe he would have a better idea than Hiro.

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"Sorry," said the small voice as violet eyes looked up at the older male, his tears were dried up now, captured in the blondes shirt. Eiri just smiled and shook his head telling the other boy not to worry.

Shuichi rubbed his eyes, smiling weakly at the blonde.

"Thank you," he said again, his voice still soft and gentle. The small teen took a deep breath, letting his head fall onto Eiri's shoulder.

"After that, mom was really sad all the time. She'd lock herself in her room most days and wouldn't even come out to eat. Grand'pa and grand'ma took care of us as best they could. It was a pretty tough time for everyone, and I had to take care of my sister. I was her big brother after all." The smaller boy said, a fond smile on his lips as he talked about his sister. He clearly cared deeply for her.

"But she got over it eventually. Slowly. She started coming out of her room and spend time with us. She'd still cry and she was still sad. We all missed dad, but we moved on. We lived and we tried to smile. He would have wanted us to be happy, that what my mom said once." His smile faded though and he let out a small sigh.

"I thought my family would be ok after that. We'd always be missing someone but we'd be happy. But then……she met him." The 'him' was spat out venomously, and Eiri felt the smaller boys tremble slightly, as if afraid. He held the other tightly, running his finger through his hair.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_It had been the first time their mother bought a friend home since their father died. He was apparently someone who worked at the same company as her, he was new and she had been a friendly face, showing him around and helping him out. They'd talked a little and got along well. They became friends quickly and one day their mother had invited the man to dinner, in return for him buying her dinner on the day she had forgotten her purse. _

_It had simply been a friendly meeting then. She wanted her kids to be involved and know her friend, remembering how tough it had been for them to see all the strange face of their parent's friends they hadn't ever met at the funeral. _

_The dinner had been pretty uneventful and normal. That man had bought some candies for the children to eat after dinner witch kept them happy as the grown ups talked about whatever it was grown ups talked about. It had been nothing drastically different and the children had been happy to think of that man as simply a friend of their mothers. _

_Gradually the other man would visit more and more. He became almost like an uncle to the children, always bringing small gifts for them. Te children had loved him in a way a child would love a favourite uncle. He was kind and fun, always willing to play their silly games with them with their mother watching and laughing. _

_As time went by the children knew something was up. They weren't stupid. Their mother spent more and more time with that man. He was over at least twice a week and she would end up going out with him almost every Friday night. _

_This confused the young boy. Had his mother already forgotten their father? He was glad she was smiling and laughing again. He was glad she was having fun. But he didn't want the other man invading their family in that way. He didn't want him to live with them. The young girl, his sister however didn't seem to mind. _

_She was slowly forgetting her fathers face and what it had been like when he had been there. To her it was almost like a dream, and that man was here now, acting just like their father had, playing games with them and having fun. To her it was as if nothing had changed._

_So when the man eventually moved in the only one who seemed unhappy with this arrangement was the young Shuichi. He hated his mother, hated her for forgetting their father so easily. And he hated that man, hated him for changing their family so quickly. This wasn't right. It wasn't how it should be. It made him want to scream and cry, stamp his foot and throw a tantrum. But he was not the sort of child to do things like that. Instead he became quiet, withdrawn. He refused to talk to his mother or that man. He wouldn't sit and eat meals with hem nor would he stay in the same room as them for very long. He even started ignoring his sister, angry at her for accepting the man so quickly. The boy's attitude confused the young girl making her cry easily, the mother simply became exasperated with her son not knowing what to do with him. The atmosphere at home became tense and fragile, as if a single breath of air might shatter it. The man became angry. _

_OoOoO_

_It was that mans turn to take them to school today. His mother had had t go into work early, leaving him with the school run. The young boy glared at his bowl of cereal, his sister hadn't gotten up yet so it was just him in the kitchen eating a lonely silent breakfast. _

_The man came storming into the room, his face barely concealing his anger, indicating he had failed to tempted the girl to get up and dressed in her uniform. He gave the boy a dirty look and said nothing. He never did anymore, all his attempts at being friendly and nice had been thrown back in his face, what horrible ungrateful children he'd been saddled with. Someone else's brats at that, if only they'd died with their good for nothing father. _

_He stormed over to the fridge, grabbing a can of beer and slamming the door shut, muttering a curse under his breath. He hated children. He snapped the can open taking a big swig out of it and wondering how exactly he was expected to get that damn girl ready for school when she simply refused to listen._

_The boy said nothing, continuing to eat his breakfast. The child was still half asleep so when he reached for his glass of juice he missed knocking the glass over causing the bright orange liquid to escape from its container and spill over the table. Flowing across the surface of the table and dripping over the edge like blood. _

_Something inside the man snapped, he threw the can to the floor. Great, another mess he had to sort out. He stormed over to the boy, grabbing him violently by his arm and dragging him to his feet. The child too startled to say anything just stared at the adult above him. _

"_I've had about enough of you, you little brat!" he snarled, gripping the boys arms tighter as he shook him, causing the child to wince, closing his eyes tightly. _

"_All you do is cause trouble for me. Now go wake your god damned sister up before I strangle the both of you," he said almost flinging the boy out the door as he released his arm. The child man from the room, to scared to do anything else, and escaped to the safety of his sister bedroom. _

"_Wake up, you have to go school," the boy said, shaking the girl gently. The youngest child opened her eyes, looking up at her big brother in amazement, it had been a long time since the boy had spoken to her properly. She smiled at him, sitting up and getting gout of bed in an instant. _

"_Hai, will nii-chan walk to school with me today?" she asked, her eyes big and hopeful. The boy nodded, causing the younger one to let out a squeal of delight as she changed quickly. _

"_Lets go lets go, school, school, school," she chanted as she headed out the room. The boy followed her slowly, not wanting to return to the kitchen, not wanting to see that man. _

_When he got there he found that man smiling as if nothing had happened, scolding the girl lightly in a cheerful manner. _

"_Well are you both ready now?" he asked gently in a kind way, all smiled which only made the young boy more confused than he already was. As they walked to school the boy held his sisters hand tightly, staying close to her side and keeping a careful eye on that man. He scared him and confused him. The child did not trust him and if possible he hated the man even more now. _

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Hiro was growing frantic now, even with Tohma helping him they still hadn't found the green haired teen, even the blond seemed worried. He bit his lip thoughtfully as they looked around the ball room.

Bad luck had left the stage about half an hour ago now, they needed a rest after all. Together Hiro and Tohma had searched every inch of the university and asked countless people if they had seen the other boy. But they had found nothing. It was as if he vanished into thin air.

Tohma cast a die long look at the male beside him, his hair was a mess and sticking out in various directions, his suit looked as if he had rolled down a hill in it and he wore a constantly worried expression.

He had yet to ask what the other male had done to make Suguru ran off on him. When Hiro had approached him, breathless and wit ha look of mild fear Tohma had been afraid something terrible had happened. He had been too worried about the missing boy to bother with the details, concentrating instead on finding him. They had searched all over and no lead, and curiosity was constantly biting at Tohma.

"So, what did you do?" the blond asked with a raised eye brow. He noticed the way Hiro flinched at the question, biting his lips and looking at his shoes, shifting uncomfortably.

"I….did something very stupid." The boy said softly, shoulders slumping slightly. He repeated the event of a few hours ago silently, in a monotone clearly embarrassed and angry at himself.

The blond listened without a word. Holding in his anger, he knew he shouldn't blame the other male entirely. He also knew Suguru wouldn't run away without telling anyone. He now knew something was up. Worry over ruled his anger at the male standing next to him.

"I hope you know what your going to do once we find him." Tohma said, a warning tone in his voice. The long haired teen simply nodded.

"Now, Suguru is clearly not here anymore. We need to start widening our search. I'm also pretty sure something is up," Tohma bit his lip worriedly. He didn't want to worry the other boy but he felt he needed to tell him. "he's not the type to just run away like that….let's just find him." The older male said with a soft sigh.

Hiro nodded and began following the blond as he lead him through the crowded room.

"Hiro-san…Hiro-san matte!!" the long haired male turned around, searching for the voice calling him. He spotted a small girl trying to push her way through the crowed. She looked familiar. From his English class maybe.

"OH GET OUT OF THE WAY!" he girl snarled impatiently, pushing a rather tall mean looking male out of her way after he'd simple stood there talking to his friends. Hiro raised his eye brows slightly, girls were pretty scary.

"Phew, caught you!" the girl said, letting out a breath and stopping in front of the other boy. She paused for a moment, her flushed face showing she had probably run to get here. And running in high heels and a ball gown was not easy.

"You're the guy looking for that green haired kid right?" she asked, head tilted to the side slightly.

"How did you know?" Hiro asked curiously, nodding and the girl smiled.

"Miko-chan told me some guys were walking around looking for this green haired kid, I knew she was talking about you, right away. Anyway, I saw him earlier," she said, a frown marring her features looking confused. "This guy was carrying him. Older, I though he might have been a teacher at first….but….." the girl bit her lip. "I think he headed out of the school, maybe his father?" she asked, tilting her head to the side questioningly.

"What did this man look like?" Tohma stepped forward, speaking in far calmer voice than Hiro would been able to manage. Hiro watched the girl apprehensively.

"Hmmm, he was pretty tall, he had dark hair…..well," she sighed and looked up at the blond. "I'm sorry it was dark, I didn't get a good look at him." She bowed before turning to leave. The men let her, there was no use in questioning her further.

"Thank you," Hiro called after her, she only paused for a moment, smiling over her shoulder and giving a little wave and vanishing into the depths of the crowd.

"Let's go." The blond said, his expression had suddenly changed, anger, seriousness and fear mixing in his eyes. The long haired teen could only nod and follow.

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Eiri tensed, he had a sinking feeling in his stomach, he didn't like the direction this story was taking. Shuichi had fallen silent again, biting his lip in worry. Both boys remained silent for a long time before either moved. Eiri began to rub Shuichi's back in a soothing motion.

"I'll always be here for you Shuichi, It's ok." The pink haired teens eyes widened slightly, the words both surprising him and making him happy. The blond smiled and hugged the smaller boy.

"Eiri…Eiri….." the boy said softly, he was sobbing slightly, shoulders shaking. "Thank you," he said hiding his head in the blonds chest as he continued to shake. He didn't cry much though, simply shook, occasionally chocking on a sob or two.

"Take your time," Eiri said calmly and continued to rub the others back. The smaller boy held onto the blond tightly, nodding softly. Eiri really was his lifeline. Did he really deserve such a thing?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Groggy eyes opened to survey the dark room. He didn't know what time it was nor how long he'd been in this room. He groaned softly, turning his head to the side. His arm twitched slightly, body feeling lighter than it had before. He no longer felt as if he had led in his veins. He sat up slowly, wincing at the effort it caused.

Why did he feel so tired? So weak? He groaned holding his head in his hands as he willed the room to stop spinning. He remained sitting still, focusing on the thread-bear sheets covering him.

When he finally felt he could move and stand without falling over he threw the blanket off and stood. Flinching slightly as he felt the cold floor against his feet, he vaguely wondered where his shoes had gone. Though he quickly decided that did not matter. He just needed to get away, as long as he could walk it didn't matter.

He stumbled slightly as he took a few tentative steps forward, leaning on the wall for support. He walked slowly yet purposefully. He needed to take things in small steps. Get to the door first, that was his goal. Get to the door on open it. His shaking hand wrapping around the cool handle of the door. It was unlocked and swung open soundlessly.

He let out a small sigh, a breath he had not known he'd been holding. He stumbled out onto the landing, looking around. This was his old home. A place he had once been happy in. A place that had once been bright and cheerful, now it lay dark, gloomy and neglected, it scared him, he shivered involuntarily. He didn't want to be here, he had to get away.

He remained still, breathing slightly laboured, ears intent. Listening for any sound, a footstep or a voice, anything that would tell him where his father was currently hiding. His body trembled slightly, still feeling far too weak to hold his own weight.

He ignored the pleadings of his tired muscles and took a few steps forward, still using the wall for support. Without it he had no doubt that he would fall flat on his face. No he needed to get out.

He headed towards the stairs, even in the gloom he knew where they were. He knew this house like the back of his hand. When he reached the top of the stairs he grabbed he banister tightly, legs shaking.

There was a light on downstairs, it leaked out of the room casting a dim glow over the bottom of the stairs, his next goal. He took a deep breath trying to stead the panicked pounding of his heart. He could do this. He only had to be quiet. Easy. How many times had he snuck down stairs quietly, like a sneaking shadow awake past his bed time, not wanting to wake his parents and alert them. He'd managed to sneak down these stairs so silently when he was a child, he could do it now.

Keeping a tight grip on the banister as he steadily began to walk down the stairs, one shaky step at a time. He could do this. It wasn't so hard. He took another step, legs buckling slightly, only his grip on the banister kept him upright. He kept his eyes on the spot of light at the bottom of the stairs. He was so close now. Just another few steps. He relaxed slightly, perhaps too soon as his tired legs finally gave out on him.

He let out a sharp yell as he went tumbling forward loosing his grip on the banister. He let out a sharp cry as his body hit the remaining stairs on the way down and finally came to rest in the pool of light at the bottom.

He winced his whole body now not only felt heavy and tired but it also hurt all over. He could fee tears well up in his eyes despite how tightly he closed them. He doesn't move nor open his eyes, not even as he hears footsteps coming towards him.

"What are you doing boy?" a voice say from above him, displeasure evident in his tone. He is not happy. A big hand grabs his arm tightly, holding tight enough to bruise as it drags the poor boy to his feet.

"You ungrateful child!" the voice snarls, shaking the boy slightly. "How do you think your mother would feel if she saw you attempting to run away."

A fist is suddenly slammed into his stomach, stunning him making him cough, eyes wide as he tried to catch his breath. That hand is still wrapped tightly around his arm, escape is impossible and despair floods the boys senses.

"You need to go back to you room. What do you think your doing? Stupid child. What would your mother say." The voice is muttering now, angry and confused as it drags the stunned teen up the stairs again.

"…..not enough…..should have slept longer…..the sedative…." The only words the child can make out as the man continued to mutter, dropping him on the bed like a bag of rags. A shuffling sound, a zip and a rustle of fabric. Something opening, a bag? Then there's a click, gently, glass. A bottle. The boy doesn't dare to open his eyes, he doesn't want to see. He hisses as a sharp pain pierces his arm.

"This will make you sleep. Rest…you need it," the needle is take out of his skin. Something makes the boy feel even more tired and weak, once again its as if his father has injected lead into his blood.

'That's right,' the boys thinks to himself as his consciousness dims, 'Father was a doctor.' His eyes closed.

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"It was just beatings at first," the small voice continued, the blond tensed slightly, an anger rising in him towards a person he didn't even now. Such anger rose within him it made him feel sick. He gritted his teeth together glad that Shuichi head was still buried in his chest and wasn't able to see such an ugly expression of anger on his face.

"I…was scared of him. He only ever hit me when no one else was around. Telling me how useless I was, telling me I was making mom cry, telling me that everyone hated me. Always such cruel words." The small boy sighed, snuggling closer to the blond, he'd been starved of kind words, a gentle touch for so long, he clung to the other male tightly, not wanting to let go.

"Then one day, he hit Maiko," he said softly, remembering even now the way his little sister had cried that day.

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_Once again they were alone with that man. Their mother had to go away for the weekend at a conference for her work. The children didn't really understand what it was for, they only knew their mother would be gone for a while. _

_The boy seemed more worried about this than her little sister. He regarded the man with wide violet eyes, barely concealed fear in his eyes. Though he had to be brave, he couldn't make his mother worry and the child knew he deserved his punishment. He was bad, a terrible son, at least that's what that man would have him believe. And by now the boy trusted those words entirely. _

_So when they had to say goodbye tot heir mother he had done it with a smile on his face, though he could feel the man's eyes burn a hole in his back. _

_They were eating dinner now, their mother had left early that morning and already Maiko was missing her mother. The young girl sat at the table, glaring at her plate, little arms crossed across her chest and a frown on her pretty face. _

"_I'm not hungry," she said again, turning her head to the side stubbornly. Shuichi was hunched over his own plate, glancing at his sister occasionally, a pleading look in his eyes. He could see the man getting slowly angrier and angrier and the boy feared for his sister._

'_Just please….eat.' he silently implored the girl who wouldn't even look at him at the moment. _

"_Come on Maiko, you have to eat your dinner and grow into a big strong girl." The man said as he attempted to smile kindly at her. Though the effect was spoilt by the way his smile looked more like a grimace, eyes narrowed slightly. _

"_No!" the girl said, pushing her plate away with all her might. It went flying off the table and crashing to the floor, shattering the tension in the room as it broke across the floor. _

_Shuichi tensed in is seat, holding his fork so tight his knuckles turned white. The mans eyes narrowed, and trace of a smile or kindness vanishing from his face in an instant. _

"_Go to your room, now." He said, his tone cold and icy. The young boy knew that tone well and he raised frightened pleading eyes to meet his sister. _

'_Just listen!' he pleaded silently though didn't dare speak out. _

"_You can't make me, your not mommy!" the girl said, poking her tongue out at the man and crossing her arms again grumpily. _

_A chair clattered to the floor as the man stood up quickly, he grabbed the girls arm dragging her to her feet. _

"_Get o your room. Now!" he yelled, hurling her small body towards the doorway. She cried out in surprise and pain, raising confused eyes at that other two in the room. Her eyes began to water, she sobbed, tears falling down her face. _

"_I want mommy…." She said in a small voice as she remained frozen to the spot, rubbing her eyes as she cried. The man advanced on her, hand raised ready to strike._

"_Stop it!" the boy shouted, finally he couldn't take no more. He couldn't let that man harm his little sister. He got to his feet, ran across the room and stood in front of the girl protectively, arms out stretched. _

_The man's eyes widened in surprise, each person remained froze and silent. The only sounds that broke the tension was the girls stifled sobs. _

"_Just take that brat to her room now," the man said, lowering his hand though he continued to glare at the other boy. The child turned swiftly, wrapping his arms around the girl and dragging her to her room. She continued to sob on his shoulder as he sat her down on her bed. _

"_Don't cry sis, it's ok now." He said softly, petting her soft hair gently. The girl looked up at her brother with watery eyes. _

"_Why is he so scary?" she asked, confused as to how the man she had once thought of as being so nice and kind could suddenly be so scary. _

"_He's just... angry. At me," the boy said quickly, he had to reassure the girl. It wasn't her fault. _

"_I'm bad, he gets tired of me. He gets angry. It's not your fault ok. So don't worry." The girl nodded, still sniffling. Once she had clamed down Shuichi had her lie down and take a nap. She snuggled into her covers, holding tightly to her favourite bear. _

"_Good night, nii-chan," she said softly, the events of a few moments ago had tired her out and she fell asleep quickly. The boy sighed softly, tucking the blankets around her. _

_He didn't want to leave the safety of his sister's room. If the two of them could just stay here forever they would be fine, away from that man, safe and sound. _

_He knew he had to leave though or face getting into more _

_trouble. He was sure to get a telling off for interrupting the man earlier. The boy gulped nervously and lefts the room as silently as possible. _

_He walked into the living room, finding that man standing near a window and smoking one of those foul smelling white sticks. His mother didn't allow him to smoke those when she was there, but his mother wasn't hear now. The boy suddenly felt helpless and scared as he looked to the floor. _

"_Go and stay in your room too. I don't want to have to deal with you kids again today. Your punishments will be decided later." He said coldly, an icy glare on his face, that last words had been a promise not a threat and the boy felt even more nervous as he went to his room as quickly as his feet would carry him. _

_He dived under his covers, pulling them over his head and curling into a tight ball. If only he could curl up so tight he might disappear, that would be his only wish right now. To get away from this place, he curled up tighter, as tight as he could. His small hand clutched the blanket tightly, holding it securely over him, his only defence._

_The boy wasn't sure how long he'd stayed like that, curled in a tight ball, blanket tugged over him, just lying there in the darkness. But far to soon he heard heavy footsteps, a door creaking open. He tensed, gripping the blanket tightly. He only needed to pretend to be asleep. Pretend to be asleep and he'll go away, his mind told him. He felt the mattress droop slightly as someone sat on it. _

"_I know your not asleep," he felt a tug on the blanket, "get up now." _

_The boy tensed, no he was asleep. The man couldn't possibly know. He was asleep, he'd go away if he just kept pretending to be asleep. He felt a harsh tug on the blanket._

"_I don't have time for your games, get up now!" the man snarled. That tone in his voice left no room for argument. The boy sat up slowly, allowing the blanket to drop away from his frame. _

"_Now, do you really thin the way you spoke to me today is acceptable?" he asked, eyes narrowed. Shuichi flinched slightly, the man was leaning close to him, he could smell traces of the smoke and those drinks he liked on his breath. _

_The boy didn't dare to look up, instead he kept his eyes focused on his lap and shook his head. The mans eyes narrowed, not happy with that answer. He grabbed the boys chin roughly, lifting his head. _

"_Look at me you brat and answer me properly!" he snarled venomously. _

"_N….no…." the boy said, gulping as he met the man's eyes, he looked angry, angrier than the scared child ever remembered seeing him. _

"_I'm sorry," he added in a trembling voice, hoping that would be enough to satisfy the man for now. The adult only smirked, still gripping the boys chin so he wouldn't look down again. _

_The man laughed cruelly, and smirked. Raising his other hand he slapped the boy across the face, causing the child head to snap to the side. The boys eyes widened as tears pricked his eye's, he could feel the stinging in his cheek but didn't dare complain. He sat still, completely obedient. _

"_I want no more outburst like that understand," he said sternly, hitting the child again. _

"_I understand," the boy said softly, holding back his tears by biting his lip. He would only get hit harder if he cried. _

"_Good," he said, smiling victoriously. "Now to deal with that blasted sister of yours," he growled, moving to stand. The boys eyes widened and he shook his head, pleading. The man raised a quizzical eye brow, he seemed amused._

"_Oh? You don't want me to hurt your precious sister huh?" he sat again moving closer to the boy, grabbing his chin again. "Would you take her punishment for her?" _

_The violet eyes widened, he stared at the man for a moment, confused. After a moment of silence he slowly nodded. He couldn't let his sister get hurt. He was her big brother, he had to protect her. The man smiled, seemingly satisfied with that answer. _

"_Well aren't you the sweet big brother." The voice was venomous and cold, no hint of kindness lay within it. He leaned closer to the boy, causing the child to shrink back slightly, trembling and wondering what the adult wanted. This only made the man move closer to the boy. _

_He lifted one of his big hands, holding it over the boys mouth to stop any annoying questions, leaning even closer to the boy until he was pressed against the head board of his bed. Back against the headboard and with the tall male infront of him the child had no escape, he couldn't even shout because of the hand held over his mouth. _

"_Now, I want you to do exactly what I tell you too, and no screaming." He said, his tone cold and threatening. The boy knew that tone, knew he would be smacked around and then locked in his room for the rest of the day if he did not obey. _

_He was pushed on his back to lie down on the bed, the others form hovering over him, huge hand still held over his mouth. He closed his eyes, shaking slightly. He didn't understand what was going on, this punishment was different to any the man had give him before. Why was his free hand tailing over his body, touching him everywhere. Why was that hand now pulling their clothes off._

"_Not a word," the voice said sharply, the hand was moved from his mouth and the boy bit his lip. He wanted to run, wanted to scream but knew he would probably be beaten within an inch of his life if he was lucky. No, he had to stay still. He had to be a good boy and listen, he'd upset his mother enough with his behaviour after all. He had to be good. _

_The man's hands were tailing over his skin now, cold callous hands. Not soft and gentle like his mothers, or strong and secure like his fathers had been. There was no love in these hands, nothing._

_The air felt cold against his exposed skin and those hand were touching him in places he knew they shouldn't be. Why was this happening? What had he done so wrong to deserve this? Was this man really planning on doing this to his sister if he hadn't accepted her punishment?_

_This treatment went on for a few minutes that dragged on like hours to the boy. He kept telling himself it would be over soon. That he just had to stay still and do as he was told. He was suddenly picked up, turned roughly to lie on his stomach. _

_He tensed, wondering what was to happen now. Then the pain came, a blinding agonizing pain that shot up his whole body and made him feel as if he was being torn in half. The pain was so intense, spreading through every fiber of his body. It was everywhere, coursing through him that he couldn't even tell where the pain started. He wanted to scream, to cry but his body seemed frozen with all the pain. The hand was over his mouth again, holding so tightly that he could hardly breath. _

_He couldn't hear the man's voice anymore, he could hear nothing but the pounding in his ears as the blood rushed around his body. His eyes were shut tightly, his head swimming, he felt sick and only wanted this pain to end. Let it end._

_He wasn't sure when he had passed out, when it had stopped. All he knew was it had gone to a dull constant pain, starting at his bottom and spreading to his back and hips. His eyes opened slowly, blearly. His face felt wet, had he been crying? _

_He realised he was sitting in a bath for warm water, soothing his sore body a little. Though the water was a strange pink, water mixed with blood. His blood. _

"_Not a word to your mother," the man said, he was sitting next to the bath, dressed now with the same look of contempt on his face. Not a single sign on pity or regret. He had only stayed by the boys side to make sure he didn't drown, it would have been hard to explain it to his mother if he had._

_Fear crossed the boys face, but he could not move now. Could not get away. The man stood and for a terrible moment the boy thought that the pain would start again. But the man did not approach him and only headed for the door. _

"_Get out of the bath when your done and stay in your room for the rest of the day." He said leaving the room, leaving the boy alone unable and too afraid to move. _

_He wasn't sure how long he sat in the water. Watching it steadily go a little pinker. He sat there until the water grew cold and still he did not move. He still felt sore, tired. He would have slept in the bath if he hadn't known it was a bad idea. He eventually moved, sitting up and wincing slightly as pain shot up his back again. _

_He climbed out of the now stone clod water and wrapped a big fluffy towel around him, wincing as he walked. There was so much pain, he just wanted to curl up on his bed and sleep until it stopped. Though he was glad he had saved his sister from this pain. What sort of big brother would he be if he had just let her get hurt. _

_He struggled to his room, finding his bed had been changed. Without bothering to change or dry himself properly he hid under the covers towel still wrapped around him he curled up into a tight ball, closing his eyes once more. _

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

He felt sick, angry. The blonde was shaking slightly with barely suppressed rage. He longed to get his hands on that man, the one who hurt an innocent child in such a cruel way. Longer to wrap his hand around his neck and squeeze the life from him.

Shuichi was crying again, silent tear coursing down his cheeks. He was holding onto Eiri with a deathly grip now, knuckles white from his fist being clenched so tightly.

"Don't leave me," his voice wobbled as his shoulders shook, "please don't leave me." He said softly, as if afraid to speak the words. Now that Eiri knew some of his past, knew he was dirty, stained he would surely run away.

The word surprised Eiri, had the boy really thought he would run away and just leave him. He held the boy tighter, pulling him closer.

"I'll never leave you," he said firmly, truthfully. If he had his way he would never let the younger boy go. Shuichi only seemed to cry harder at this, hiding his face in the blonds chest crying over his shirt.

"You might…change your mind," the small voice said, "when you hear…the rest…" he was scared to continue but knew he had to. Now he had started he wasn't sure if he could stop his secrets from pouring out. It had been so long since he had spoke to someone about it.

"I won't." Eiri said firmly. He was sure of this. There was no way he'd push the boy away.

Shuichi smiled weakly through his tears. If only he could believe him. He wanted to badly too, but surely the blond would change his mind. He snuggled closer to the others warm body, holding him tightly. He would enjoy this closeness while it lasted for it was surely to come to and end soon.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Without bothering to give an explanation as to where they were going Tohma and Hiro ran our of the hall and towards the car park, the older blond digging his keys out of his pocket as he ran.

"Do you know where he is?" Hiro asked, breathlessly. Tohma was running at such a furious pace that it was all he could do to keep up. The blonds eyes were narrowed seriously, a hint of fear tugging at the corner of his eyes.

"I have a hunch," he said, finally arriving at the car he threw the door open, causing it the smash into the car parked next to it, leaving a nice dent and setting the alarm off. The blond paid this little attention and jumped into the car. Hiro only raised his eyebrow nervously, for a simple hunch one wouldn't be hurrying so franticly. Hiro grew nervous sensing something was wrong. He only nodded and got into the passengers seat. He's hardly sat down and shut the door when the car sped off.

Eye wide the long haired teen buckled his seatbelt quickly, feeling sure that they would die before they had a chance to find Suguru.

Tohma drove like a man possessed down the streets, almost crashing into the back of another car at one point. Hiro gripped the edge of his seat nervously and only hope this hell ride would be over with soon and would end with them still in one piece. He didn't dare ask where they were going, the blonds eye were narrowed and he looked beyond angry making Hiro feel nervous and praying that he wouldn't be on the receiving end of Tohma's wrath.

They drove to the outskirt of the town, entering a residential area that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. The houses were all non-descriped and looked about the same, though Hiro didn't get a very good look at the buildings as the flashed pasted the speeding cars window. They eventually coasted to a stop outside one of these houses that seemed duller and greyer than the ones around it. In fact it looked like it had been empty for years.

Tohma hadn't moved. His eyes fixed on the window of the house. A small light leaked from it as if someone had lit a candle in the room.

"Someone's in there." He said and again Hiro saw a brief flash of fear and concern in the blonds eyes. He got out of the car and Hiro followed.

"Where re we?" he asked, almost nervously. Was Suguru really in one of these buildings? Why would he be here? Was he ok?

"This is Suguru's old home, he lived here with his mother and father." Tohma said softly, "this house has been empty since his mother died….. he's back." He said. He looked at Hiro turning his angry gaze on him.

"Suguru's father has been in hail for a long time, he killed his wife in their own home. Suguru has lived with me since then. I'm sure he's here now…but why would he take Suguru." He said, sounding nervous.

Hiro's eyes widened and his hands shook slightly. Anger and concern flooding him.

"Let's go." Tohma said heading towards the front door. He placed his hand lightly on the handle and tested it. The door swung open, loudly creaking announcing their arrival. Tohma walked in first, looking around cautiously. The house was pretty dark, only the light from the living room and outside lit the dark hall way.

There were footsteps, and a voice.

"What are you doing here?" and angry voice called to them, in the doorway of the living room stood a tall man, his hair was a mess and an angry ugly expression crossed his features. He was glaring angrily at Tohma and didn't seem to notice Hiro.

A calm smile painted Tohma's face. All trace of anger and hate gone, as if he was suddenly talking to an old friend.

"How lovely to see you too." He said walking towards the man, "why don't we go have a nice chat."

"Get out of my house!" the man snarled angrily, stepping forward, his face contorting further into that ugly angry look. Tohma still wore that eerily scary smile.

"Oh now come come, no need to get so angry. We are family," Tohma hissed, approaching the man. Even though Tohma was about a head shorter than the one now standing in the doorway the taller one began to back off, heading back into the living room.

Hiro watched this curiously, though he itched to run around the house, tear the place apart if he had to just to find his friend. Tohma had followed the man into the room.

"Now we have a lot to talk about don't we," Tohma said, heading into the room. Hiro took that as his queue and ran upstairs, not sure why he headed there first only knowing that his gut feeling told him to go there.

He threw open every door as he searched for Suguru, looking into each room long enough only to see that there was no sign of the other boy. He could hear yelling from downstairs, angry and violent. So loud that it reached his ears though he couldn't tell what was being said.

The angry voiced drove him forward franticly though, wanting to find Suguru before the fight was over, in case that tall man won and came for him, wanting to help Suguru before it was too late.

Finally he threw open the door of the small bedroom where Suguru lay. Hiro froze when he finally saw the boy, and overwhelming relief flooding him making him suddenly want to cry and embrace the other boy tightly.

He ran over to his bed and shook him gently, thinking he was asleep at first.

"Suguru….Suguru come on wake up." He said. The green haired teen did not stir however, though Hiro could tell he was still breathing he was worried.

"Suguru," his voice shook slightly as he shook the other boy a little harder, "come on wake up. I'm sorry ok…..please wake up."

He thought for a moment Suguru was only kidding, still angry at him for earlier and so faining sleep. He sat on the edge of the bed, scooping the boy up into his arms, holding him close.

"Come on Suguru," he said softly, begging now. He held the boy tightly in his arms, almost feeling like crying at his own helplessness, what was he supposed to do? He scooped the smaller boy into his arms, amazed at how light he was.

In his arms now Suguru felt smaller and more delicate that ever. He stumbled out of the room into the dark corridor. The shouts and yells from downstairs had died down now, he wondered weather Tohma was ok.

He carried the boy down stairs cautiously, half expecting the man to jump out at him at any moment. He got into the hallway and was met by Tohma wlaking out of the silent room calmly, that same unreadable smile on his face.

"Oh you found him," he said grinning, though his expression faultered as he saw the unconscious form in Hiro's arms. He walked over to the boys, placing his fingers against Suguru's neck.

"He's breathing and he has a pulse. He looks fine." He said calmly, lifting one of Suguru's eye lids to look at his eye.

"Take him back," Tohma said, handing Hiro the car keys, "I'll follow you in a bit ok." He said turning to head back to the living room.

"Hey wait, what about Suguru, will he be ok?" Hiro asked frantic and still wondering why the other boy would not wake up.

"He was probably given a sedative, he'll wake up soon. Now take him back to the dorms." Tohma said and walked back into the living room without another word.

Hiro stared at the spot Tohma had been standing in for a moment before he finally moved. He didn't bother to follow the older blond, too worried about the boy in his arms. He headed towards the front door and to the car.

He placed Suguru to lie down on the back seat, making sure he wouldn't fall off before he climbed into the drivers seat. He set off at a slightly more responsible speed than Tohma though he still drove pretty quickly wanting to get back as quickly as possible and make sure Suguru was really ok.

Luckily the university was close by and the drive there didn't take very long. He parked as close to the dorms as he could, parking the car rather haphazardly. He went to the back and took Suguru into his arms once more.

He smiled weakly as he looked at the boy in his arms, looking so peaceful. He carried him towards the other teens room, he had to search the boys pockets for his room key, which was rather awkward but he soon managed to get the door open.

Once inside he headed for the bedroom and placed the other boy onto the bed. He looked at him for a moment, wondering if he should change him so he would be more comfortable. He managed to take the other boys shoes of at least and continued to watch him, hoping he would wake up soon.

He lifted his hand, lightly brushing the boys green hair from his face. Hiro wasn't sure if it was is imagination or the light but Suguru looked a little pale. He bit his lips in concern, placing the covers over Suguru's small body before he sat on the edge of the bed and continued to watch the other boy silently. For how long he sat there he wasn't sure but soon Tohma joined him in the room, clearly he'd gotten a taxi or something.

"So he hasn't woken up yet." He said approaching the bed. Hiro jumped slightly, his head snapping to the side at the voice. Tohma placed his fingers against the pulse point at Suguru's neck again and sighed.

"It was a sedative, I found the bottle in the room. He was probably given a lot of it though he should wake up in about an hour." Tohma said.

"How do you know all this?" Hiro asked, he would feel much better if a doctor came and checked on Suguru. The blond simply smiled and patted Hiro on the shoulder.

"I'm not some dumb guy in band you know," he said cheerfully.

"Now, I think we both need a strong coffee." He said heading out the room. Hiro could only follow him in confusion, sensing that the conversation wasn't over and that Tohma wanted to talk to him.

He sat down at the little table and watched the blond as he prepared the drinks. Silence reigned for a while, only the clinking of cups and the sound of the kettle boiling filled the room.

A steaming cup was placed in front of him and the blond sat down his hands wrapped around his own cup as if he was trying to warm them up.

"So Hiro-san, tell me….what are your feeling for Suguru?" he asked his tone suddenly serious and now without its friendly air. His eyes were narrowed and regarded Hiro critically.

The long haired teen looked down at the table, drumming his fingers nervously against its surface and biting his lip.

What were his feelings anyway? He wasn't sure. He had though they were simply friends. But the events of tonight had twisted his heart painfully, he'd been so worried about Suguru, scared in a way he had not been in a while. His feeling had been confused through out the night, so much so they were still muddled up now.

Tohma didn't seem happy with this answer and his frowned deepened.

"He really loved you Hiro. He wouldn't have acted like he did if he did not," Tohma said calmly, though his voice was still a little icy, he took a sip of his drink, letting these words sink in.

"Sort out your feelings for him, tell him how you feel. I don't want you hurting him again." Tohma said, taking another sip of his drink.

"I didn't mean too…..how was I supposed to know…." Hiro stuttered, wondering why he was getting blamed for all this. Tohma sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I know you didn't mean to but you did," Tohma said bluntly, then sighed, his frown fading. "I just don't want him hurting anymore."

"I don't want to hurt him!" Hiro suddenly snapped, feeling slightly angry. "I want to help him, not hurt him!" he said, a little angrily as he gripped his coffee mug tightly. Tohma smiled as this, a small smile but a smile none the less.

"Ok….I'll be going now then." He said getting to his feet and leaving his half drunk coffee on the table. Hiro stared at Tohma feeling more confused than ever.

"What…..aren't you…."

"I trust you," Tohma said simply. "Take care of him, call a doctor if he doesn't wake up in about and hour or two ok." He said and left, just like that, leaving behind a very confused Hiro, left once more staring in a confused manner at the place the blonde had been.

"Well that was weird….." he muttered and shook his head, he left his drink too and headed back to the bedroom. He frozen in the doorway when he realised that Suguru's eyes were half open, looking a little bit as if he was hung over. He hadn't moved at all and seemed to be staring at the ceiling.

"Suguru," he said tentatively, walking towards him slowly and cautiously, not wanting to alarm him.

"Hi…ro.." he said quietly, eyes still a little blurry. "I'm dreaming…." He muttered, still apparently thinking he was back in his old room. He closed his eyes again, "what a cruel dream," he muttered, wanting to wake up from something so cruel. It was so unfair, why Hiro? Why did he have to dream of him?

"You're not dreaming." Hiro said gently, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking the other hair gently.

"Tohma helped me find you, he knew where you were. You're back at your dorm now." He said softly. Suguru shook his head slowly.

"No…he hates me……he wouldn't come for me.." he muttered, still thinking he was talking to a mirage. Hiro frowned, Suguru was still clearly suffering from the affects of the drugs.

"I'm real, I'm here," he said leaning forward slightly and kissing the boy on the forehead, "and I don't hate you, I could never hate you." he said firmly.

Suguru stared at him with his tired eyes, still only half open. He raised his hand weakly, the action clearly causing him great effort. He managed to grab the sleeve of the other males shirt.

"Stay…even if you are just a dream," he muttered, his voice getting weaker, he was clearly drifting back to sleep. Hiro said nothing as he laid down on the bed, over the covers and wrapped his arms around Sugurus smaller form. The green haired teen snuggled closer to the other males warm body, his eyes shut now and a small smile on his face. This may be a dream but it was shut a nice dream, he wished to never wake up.

Hiro watched the boy sleep, wondering if he should let go now in case Suguru panicked when he woke up. He didn't want to scare the boy. But tonight had been draining, and he felt his own eyes closing slowly feeling far too comfortable and warm. Holding Suguru in his arms like this felt nice, it felt right.

Hiro had little time to think this over though as he too soon drifted off to sleep.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_It went on for more years than the boy cared to count, only ever happening when their mother was away. His sister always threatened if he complained. _

"_You don't want her getting hurt now, do you?" he'd say cruelly, then he'd laugh, and the pain would start again. He eventually stopped bleeding and passing out after a while, though how long that took he did not count nor did he really want to know. He only wanted to pretend this wasn't happening, which was surprisingly easy. Any other time that man was a lot nicer now, acting like a real father. So much so the boy would sometimes question himself, wondering if the other man, the one who caused him pain was simply just a dream._

_Though the dull ache that stayed with him for weeks after one of his 'punishments' made him think otherwise. This was not a dream but his cruel reality, a reality he could not share with anyone. He did not speak about it to anyone, in fact after a while he rarely spoke at all, turning into a quiet child with few friends, the type that would sit in the corner alone._

_His mother worried about him but never made the connection. The man acted normal around her, showing concern too, though the young boy could read his eyes now and understand the threat in them whenever his mother would ask him if he was ok. _

_One day, not long after his 13__th__ birthday the man came to his room again. It was late at night and he had clearly been out drinking. The smell was so strong the boy had to scrunch up his nose to prevent himself form feeling sick. _

_He gulped nervously and faked sleep, hopping that the man had just stumbled into the wrong room in his drunken stupor. After all his mother was home now, though he had heard them fighting earlier which was why the man was probably sticking of alcohol. _

_His hopes were dashed though when he felt the bed sink, clearly someone had just sat on it, and judging by the smell he knew who it was. _

"_Stupid bitch," he heard the man muttered, "brat, I know your awake." He said harshly, his hand were on him again and the boy visibly shuddered. Those hand's were trailing over his body again, and he knew what would come next. He tensed, this couldn't be happening. His mother was home, this didn't happen when she was here. Why now?_

_His eyes remained shut tightly, not that that mattered to the man. It never did, not matter how much the boy had cried or how much he had bled he never stopped. Soon that familiar pain flooded the boys small body, so intense he couldn't tell where the pain ended and he began, they were one and the same now. All he could feel was pain. Even the soft sheet underneath him didn't sooth him. He bit his lip, resisting the urge to scream. _

_He had made that mistake once, screamed so loudly he was sure the whole street had heard, that man had only hurt him even more and locked him in his room for a week. The boy hadn't been able to move for four days so being locked in his room didn't particularly bother him, only the pain did. He felt it would never end. _

_Soon, but not soon enough__ for the boy it was over. The man stood and stumbled from the room without a word. The boy remained still, curling up into a ball once again, tightly, trying to defend himself, hide away, vanish. If only he could do that. But if he did then his sister would only feel this pain. He wouldn't allow her to get hurt. _

_That man's smell still lingered, the alcohol currently the overpower aroma. He wrinkled his nose, the smell made his stomach churn and he almost wretched. His body trembling slightly, he always felt like this after. As if he might throw up his entire stomach, and that pain still lingered. He longed to get up and go to bathe but that would only cause questions from his mother and more pain from that man. No he would just have to lie here and try to go back to sleep. Just sleep and forget about everything. _

_OoOoOo_

_He thought it had probably only been a one off. Just something that happened because that man had been too drunk to think clearly. He expected that it would never happen again and thing would return to normal. _

_But know that man seemed to think he could get away with it easily. That it didn't matter if his wife was asleep just a few doors away, and so from that day on it continued. Whenever that man had a little argument with his wife, or if he was just angry or bored he would come to the boys room at the dead of night. _

_Soon the boy didn't even resist any more, he did not cry nor close his eyes. He would simply stare at a spot on the wall and imagine he was something else. He didn't even seem to notice the pain anymore, something inside of him was slowly dieing, getting chipped away from him bit by bit after everything that man did, every time he came to his room. _

_He grew even quieter, the only person he seemed to talk to now was his sister and his best friend Hiro. He never shouted or raised his voice, never got angry or faught back whenever the bullies in school decided they wanted to pick on him today. His eyes no longer held the eager glimmer of youth, joyful and happy. His eyes were dull, almost dead. His expression would often remain the same, blank and empty. _

_And still no one cared to ask what was wrong, simply thinking it was just teen angst. His mother had tried one time and got no where, unable to think of anything that could upset her son she simply shrugged it off, blaming it on him being a teenager too. No one noticed, no one cared and it continued._

_OoOoOoOo_

_One day, many long month after that night that man had stumbled into his room drunk the boy say in the kitchen, silently watching his mother cook. The woman would occasionally speak to him but he would only answer her with a nod or shake of his head and she soon gave up._

_The boy watched her with his violet eyes as he sliced up the meat with a sharp knife. The blade sliced through the flesh with such easy. Only a faint chop, chop sound filled the room as the blade hit the chopping board as she cut the meat. _

_Chop, chop, it cut through the flesh with such ease._

_Chop, chop, flesh….like a humans, would it cut through human skin as easily?_

_Chop, chop, clean, deep slices. _

_Chop, chop, cutting through that mans skin._

_Chop, chop, a cut for every time that man had hurt him, for every time he'd threatened his sister. _

_Chop, chop, so….would it really cut through human skin as easily as he imagined. _

_The boy shook his head as these thoughts came to him. Such scary thought for a child. Thoughts a child should never have, yet they ran through his mind now. So strong, so vivid. He longed to take that knife and plunge it into that mans chest. _

"_Go get your sister for me, dinner will be ready soon," the woman said and the boy was snapped out of his daydream. He nodded, getting to his feet and heading for his sisters room. That imaged still alive so vividly in his mind. _

_Dinner was an uneventful affair, quiet as usual with his mother trying to make conversation and his sister the only one who seemed to reply to her. The rest of their day went normally after that. Nothing much was said between the family, his sister returning to her room, his mother and that man curled up on the couch, and him sitting alone in the back garden, still with that image in his head. _

_It would not leave him. There constantly now. He imagined that man laying on the chopping board, and that knife slowly slicing through his skin, chop, chop. _

_Then he heard them, the raised voiced. His mother sounded angry about something. He heard his name mentioned. And that mans voice, telling her she was worrying about nothing. The voices got louder and soon he heard a door slam shut and everything was quiet. The boy trembled slightly, he knew that man would come back drunk. He knew that the pain would be worse whenever that man was drunk._

_Chop…..chop…._

_He jumped to his feet and ran back into the house. He could hear his mother sobbing in her bedroom, his sister stood in the doorway of her room looking lost. _

"_Onii-chan….?" She asked, her voice small and quiet. _

"_Go back to your room, it's ok." He said softly and walked into the kitchen. The girl, still looking nervous only nodded and disappeared behind her bedroom door. He looked around the kitchen, spotting the knife sitting with the others in the wooden block, its handle looking almost inviting, calling out to him to pick it up. _

_Cautiously he walked over to the counter and stood in front of it for a moment, just staring at it for a while. That image remained vivid in his mind. He stood there for almost five minute, just staring at the knife until he finally raised a trembling hand. Holding the handle firmly he pulled the blade from it holder. _

_The shinny surface caught the light as he held it, blinding him for a moment. IT was so beautiful, in an odd way, shimmering in the light like a jewel. He heard the sound of a door opening and footsteps. Panicking the boy ran to his room, slamming the door shut behind him and surprising his mother who was heading to the kitchen to get drink. She did not see the blade in her sons hand as he dashed past her, not did she notice its absence from the kitchen her thought were preoccupied and she soon returned to her own room._

_In his own room the boy had hidden the knife under his pillow, he was still trembling slightly from fear and exhilaration. His thoughts still a little muddled, he knew he wasn't thinking straight now. Surely he would never use the knife, he would have to put it back tomorrow before anyone noticed. _

_He sat on his bed with a heavy sigh. Maybe he should go over Hiro's tonight. His friend would let him stay if he asked. But he couldn't leave, not when he knew that man would surely come back drunk and want something to vent his frustration on. If the boy wasn't there then his attention would turn to his sister, the boy wouldn't allow that, as an older brother, even if it meant his own life, he wouldn't let her get hurt. _

_He lay down and stared at the ceiling, head on his pillow. He could feel the uneven bump under his head. The knife, and that image flared in his mind again. HE closed his eyes, trying to block it from his mind. _

_OoOoOo_

_He must have fallen asleep trying to block those images from his mind, for when he opened his eyes his room was dark and he could hear stumbling footsteps, the front door shutting. Those noises must have woken him. His body tensed and he knew what was coming. His head tilted to the side slightly, staring at the spot on the wall, already trying to leave this place. _

_As he moved he felt the knife again. It was still there, nestled under his pillow. It's sharp blade that sliced through meat so easily. His door creaked open, the overwhelming smell of alcohol wafting towards him telling him instantly who it was. He didn't bother to pretend to be asleep, he had given up on that. It never worked. _

_He heard the footsteps draw closer, felt his bed dip slightly as more weight was added to it, then those hands were over him. Touching him in places he never wanted those hand to touch him, tugging at his clothes, and he knew what was to come. _

"_Not again…" he said, softly. So quite he almost expected the man not to hear him. _

"_Please not again," he said, his fists clenching tightly. _

"_Shut up," the man snarled and slapped the boy hard, surely causing a bruise. The boy winced and resisted the urge to yell. He moved his head again and felt the knife under his pillow._

_Chop, chop. Cutting so easily through the flesh of the meat._

_Chop, chop. Human skin was exactly the same right?_

_Chop, chop. They wee all living beings……..it cut so easily……chop chop._

"_Stop," he said, his voice shaking. "Stop." _

"_Didn't I tell you to shut up!" the man snarled, slapping the boy again, "just shut your goddamn mouth you little brat!" he snarled, one of his big hands wrapping around the boys throat. _

"_This is all your fault. My life was fine before that woman and her damn kids barged into it." His grip around the boys neck tightened and the child's eyes widened as he realised he couldn't breath, his air was slowly getting strangled out of him. He tried to prise the man's hand away from his neck but he was far too strong. The man was blind to the boy's struggles and continued to talk. _

"_If only her brats had died with their father, my life would have been so much easier," he snarled, his grip tightening further. Tears came to the boys eyes. Never, never had that man mentioned his father, and for a long time neither had he. Though he often wished he'd died with him. But now…..he couldn't die like this. He couldn't leave his sister in that mans hands. _

_His hand slid under the pillow, grabbing the knifes handle. He wasn't thinking anymore, fear and a lack of air drove his action as he slashed the knife across the man's neck. He screamed and let go of the boy instantly. The child felt a shower of something warm fall on him, warm and a vivid red. Blood. There was so much of it pouring out of the mans neck like a broken faucet. _

"_You brat!! How dare you!" he choked, holding one of his hands over his neck, he suddenly lunged forward, other hand outstretched, ready to strike. The boy screamed, and in defence held the knife out, closing his eye and backing away as much as the wall would allow him._

_There was a grunting sound, a cough and the hit did not come. Something warm and fluid spilt over the boys hand, the hand holding the knife. His eyes slowly opened, blood. So much red blood everywhere, far more vivid that his imagination was. And warm, warmer than that man had ever been to him. _

_There was a loot of surprise on his face, his arms held limply to his side. The red not covered the front of his shirt, over his neck and chest. There was so much of it and still it flowed. The boys trembling eyes fell to where the knife lay, embedded in the mans chest, directly where his heart was. _

_The man's body suddenly lost it fight with gravity and fell forwards. The boy screamed again, pushing it away and jumping to his feet. Staring at his bed which was steadily growing red, the man did not move._

_He fell to his knees at the sight, shaking so badly he could not move. His eyes remained fixed on the sight before him. No, he hadn't meant for this to happen. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. No, no, no! _

_He heard shouts, footsteps, a worried voice. And soon a woman's scream filled the night. _

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Shuichi…" Eiri voice was quiet, clearly surprised. The boy in his arms tensed, ready for the blond to shout at him, to hate him. Expecting it.

"I killed him," the boy said softly, "I….I killed him with my own hands…" his voice trembled now and tears started to fall again.

"Don't you hate me now……now that you know what I've done….you must hate me." He said pulling away from the blonds warm arms.

"You must hate," he said, the blond still hadn't spoken and Shuichi took his silence as rejection, he had expected it, "I'll leave now."

He stood, getting ready to leave. He was sure Hiro would let him stay with him for a while. He was about to turn around when a hand suddenly grabbed his wrist, pulling him back into those warm arms. He was held tightly against the firm chest, and suddenly a pair of lips crashed against his. The kiss fiery and passionate, warm and loving.

The boys eyes widened, torn between fear and happiness.

"I couldn't never hate you," the blond said, looking into Shuichi's eyes with such a fiery truth burning in his golden orbs that Shuichi could not doubt him. The tears only grew in his eyes and suddenly he was wailing, crying for years of pain and grief. He held onto the blond tightly. The blond did not let him go, nor did he loosen his grip on the boys small form.

Neither of them said a word even as the boys sobs died down. They sat there in complete silence, the only sound was an occasional sniffle from the pink haired boy.

"Shuichi?" Eiri said, looking down at the boy in his arms who was now fast asleep. The blond smiled softly, kissing the boys fore head gently.

"I'll never leave you." He said as he scooped the boy up and headed to the bedroom. Tonight had indeed been very long, they both needed their rest. He lay the smaller boy on the bed and curled up next to him, wrapping the blankets around them both and holding onto the others form tightly through out the night. He would never let him go.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Opening his eyes slowly the green haired boy soon became conscious. His body no longer felt heavy, he couldn't now move it though he still felt incredibly tired. He wondered where he was, this room wasn't the one he had been in earlier. Had that just been a strange dream? And what was the warm presence next to him?

Suguru groaned softly, his head was pounding. He knew it had not been a dream. Then where was he now? Had his father moved him? He turned his head to the side and was met with a sight he thought he'd never see. Hiro's sleeping face right neck to him. Hiro's warm, strong arms wrapped around him, he stared at his friend for a moment, remembering what had happened earlier and suddenly remembering where he must be. He sat up quickly, disentangling himself from those arms, no matter how much he longed to be held in them he knew it was a lie. Hiro loved that teacher, not him.

He froze as he heard the long haired teen stir, saw his eyes open. The green haired teen jumped to his feet but instantly fell to the floor.

"Suguru!" he heard the older boys worried voice, saw him approach him and help him up, "Take it easy."

"Let go," Suguru said suddenly, struggling away from Hiro's touch, "don't touch me, just go away!" he said, he could already feel his face heat up from embarrassment of what had happened earlier. Tears stung at the corner of his eyes. He longed for the older male to stay and equally just wanted him to leave.

"I'm not leaving," Suguru looked up quickly as he heard the stern voice, sow concern clearly etched on his face. The green haired teen trembled slightly, fighting back his tears. Why did the older male have to torture him like this?

He was pulled into those warm arms again and helped up onto the bed.

"I'm sorry," Hiro said once Suguru was comfortable, causing the younger teen to look at him in confusion. Shouldn't he be the one apologising?

"I hurt you, I'm sorry I didn't notice." His words were so sincere that Suguru couldn't be mad at him even if he wanted to. The smaller boy sat up suddenly and wrapped his arms around the other male. He didn't care if this was a lie. He wanted to be held by the other male, for as long as he could he would lose himself in this lie.

Hiro froze in surprise for a moment but soon wrapped his arms gently around the other boys form.

"I'm sorry," Suguru said softly, shoulders shaking slightly. He knew he had behaved childishly and only hopped Hiro wouldn't be angry at him.

"You should be!" Hiro said, causing the green haired teen to look up at the other male giving Hiro the chance to place his hand against the boys cheek, forcing him too look him in the eye.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was when you just disappeared like that? And when I found you…..you wouldn't wake up," Suguru saw the fear in Hiro's eyes, wondering just exactly what had happened.

"I was so scared," Hiro said, and before either of the realised what they were doing he was kissing the smaller boy in his arms. A soft tender kiss that reduced the green haired teen to a puddle of goo in an instant, he had neither the will nor the energy to pull away.

This lasted only moments yet the feeling of it lingered on both their lips.

"You're someone very important to me," Hiro said softly, his feeling for the boy were still a little muddled unable to say I love you just yet, but he knew he wanted to stay at the smaller boys side and protect him, "so don't scare me like that ever again." He said, kissing the younger teen once more, already addicted to the taste of the other boys lips.

When they finally broke apart for air the younger boys eyes were half closed, his lips slightly parted and a little swollen from the actions they had just done.

"Hiro…" he said softly but was silenced as a finger was pressed against his lips.

"Go to sleep. You've been through a lot and need you rest," he said as he pushed the boy back on the bed, making him lie down as he lay next to him, arms still wrapped securely around the other.

"I'll be here when you wake up," he said reassuringly, and Suguru only nodded softly. Nuzzling into the warmth that the other males body gave. Weather this was a dream or a lie or a wonderful reality he did not know. But for now he was deliriously happy and content. A small smile rested on his lips as he drifted off to sleep, Hiro watching over him, a tender smile on his lips.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Well there it is, Shuichi's deep dark past. And theres still a little more to add xD but now he's on his way to recovery on the Eiri Yuki plan lol and finally a little more HiroSuguru!! This couple is just far too cute. I really hope the mistakes in this chapeter were not too distracting. A betad version will replace this soon so it's only temporary.

Well thats it for now, I shall see you in the next chapter, which will hopefully be out sooner than this one was.


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